TL;DR: Had ADHD and anxiety, started NoFap, Anxiety almost gone, ADHD still there but reduced. Better life. Feelsgoodman.
Firstly, my first language isn’t English so go easy on me If I make any grammar mistakes. Secondly, I will try to get as much out of me as possible from my experience of NoFap in my state right now. I am currently on one of those bad, little bit depressed kind of days, but I feel like I had to share my thoughts and experiences to the community as this community has given a lot to me.
I’ll start by explaining briefly about my background. I was a smart kid growing up. Always scored in exams, very creative, very playful. Then, when I was in my teens, I started to get distracted easily, not focused, sleeping in classes, never finished my school works and I got sent to the teacher’s office a number of times because of this. This was probably because I started fapping regularly. However, strangely enough, I still scored in my exams. What I realised now is that, I used to stop PMO a month or two before a big exam. I would also not play video games and kept my guitar in the store room. I did these things just because I was a bit superstitious. I believed that you need to sacrifice pleasures in order to get a bigger pleasure afterwards which in this particular case was getting good marks in the big exam. But this belief kind of fade after I went to college. I fapped regularly in college and in Uni.
Fast forward to about three or four months ago. I was in a foreign country (The UK), I was doing my Engineering degree (which I was lucky to get this far). I failed my final year exam, I couldn’t do any work properly, I had general anxiety, and I had a serious diagnosed case of ADHD. I was in my worst state ever. I felt like my life was over, and I had no clue what was wrong with me. Then I stumbled upon the TED Talk, and then the NoFap community and it all made sense to me. From then on, I decided to quit cold turkey as I was in the lowest phase of my life and I knew I needed to change. I was lucky enough to be granted a re-attempt on my exams, but because of this I had to wait for a year, to redo the exams.
I didn’t do this to get girls (although obviously as men, being good with women is always a plus), but I did this to get my head back together. I don’t know how to structure my 100 days experience as I did not log it, but I’ll just give a rough picture to you guys.
The first few weeks was the toughest and I wasn’t surprised, but I felt really good because I was starting to improve my self value and worth. I felt less depressed. Because I was aiming for clarity of mind, I did a number of other things too to improve my mind. I reduced multi tasking, which people nowadays tend to do all the time. There are studies that shows multi-tasking isn’t good for our brain. I try not to listen to music while doing work, I try not to eat while watching tv, and I try not to have multiple tabs on my browser. I found that doing these things helped me improve my attention span. Also another good thing to do is, dividing information or articles into smaller chunks. Our brain prefers to digest smaller sets of information rather than a big crowded one. Also, I tried not to think too much about the future or the past, and just focus on the present, things that you can achieve at that particular moment. It helps you get shit done, and reduces anxieties.
After about 4-5 weeks later, I felt better. My concentration has improved, and anxieties were dramatically reduced but there are still to this day, days that I feel like super shit. My mind is just everywhere, I just can’t focus. Usually when I get wet dreams, the day after, I would feel like shit. When I first started NoFap, I was looking forward to getting wet dreams, I wasn’t against it, but through my experience, I never felt good the day after. I’ve tried reading about it on YBOP, but the article is not conclusive. I don’t know whether wet dreams are really good or bad, but for me, through personal experience, I prefer not to have them.
My mind’s clarity has improved quite a lot along my 100 days, but I am aiming for 150 days as I started watching porn at a very early age. Although reduced, I still have ADHD. I don’t think my mind has reached that “reset” point yet, but I believe that if I keep going, I will eventually reach that turning point.
NoFap has made my life a lot better, and I value myself a lot more now. For those of you who are struggling, I hope you don’t beat yourself up too much. Change is a process, you will get better at it as you go along. You can be proud of yourself for taking that first step.
That’s all for now NoFappers, aim for the sky!
TL;DR: Had ADHD and anxiety, started NoFap, Anxiety almost gone, ADHD still there but reduced. Better life. Feelsgoodman.
LINK - 100 days report. From a person who is aiming for the “clarity of mind” benefit of NoFap.
by paper_pilot
100 days report – Part 2 (Social aspect)
This is a follow up from another post I wrote.
You can check it out here: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/1v2wuu/100_days_report_from_a_person_who_is_aiming_for/
My main aim when I started NoFap was not to get women, but to get that “clarity of mind” benefit of NoFap (article link above), but like most of the people here, I started to realise that my social life has improved while doing this challenge. This post will just focus on the social aspect of my journey.
Firstly, I am a South East Asian guy (Not Chinese), 23, studying abroad in the UK. Awkward, skinny, I look like a 16 year old boy (boyish face), by the local perspective here.
A few months before NoFap, I blew it with this English-Irish girl that I really liked. She was really into me in the beginning, but I was just being an awkward foreigner, anxious, unconfident, and just sucked. I didn’t have a girlfriend since like 6 years ago. After NoFap, only about 3 weeks in, a really hot girl I met at an event said that my eyes were sexy and she was flirting with me so much. It was kinda weird, because this shit never happened before. The event was 3 days long, and all the girls there were basically surrounding me. There were a few guys who gave me the props and said I was a player. After that experience it just keeps going. I have so many girls in my circle right now that I really don’t need to do much, but I still have that choosy mentality probably because of watching porn all those years.
On my 88th day, I was in Cyprus with a few friends for holiday and there was this really beautiful model-looking Lithuanian girl in the lobby of the hotel we stayed in. I went up to her and had a short conversation. The day after, we went walking on the beach together. She was really happy, and she was the one who asked that we exchanged contacts. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to talk a girl that beautiful a few months ago.
My day-90 was great because it was on New Year’s day. Celebrated in London with a few friends. Watched fireworks, it was amazing. On the way home, a beautiful local English girl, drunk, stopped me and said I looked really “fit” (‘fit’ means Hot in England). She was clearly drunk, but for some reason I was still a bit flattered.
Finally a day before I wrote this, I went to a club with a friend. It was a launching of a popular new indie-alternative club. There was this really cute and amazing local English girl whom I managed to get her number. She made out with me just before she left. I can tell that she wasn’t drunk because we had a proper conversation. The kiss felt amazing.
At this moment, I still think that I haven’t reached my social prime. I’m not sure if I should get a girlfriend now. I’m still focusing on getting my shit together but as a man, I can’t lie, it would be great to have a nice girl by your side.
I’m not by any means, a super hot attractive guy now, but I’ve noticed how much of a difference from how I was before. I couldn’t just get any girl I want, lets be honest here. But I can definitely talk to attractive girls a lot easier and calmer now.
Again, personally, my main aim for NoFap was not to get women but I believe that getting good with women and with people generally can be a very strong motivation to complete the challenge. But be careful, having shallow goals is like walking on a poorly built bridge. It can collapse any time. Focus on getting good at life in general, not just with women.
That’s all I can to share for now my NoFap friends. Safe journey to the top!
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