Alter 25 - ED meeschtens fort. De Schlëssel rewiring. Benotzt ëmmer nach Porno.

Hey everybody! I am a former PED sufferer, writing after one full year of successful recovery. Recently, my mind has been flooded with memories of the anxiety and anguish I endured at the hands of my PED, and how happy I am having escaped its clutches. So I’ve returned here to give some advice and encouragement to you guys. (TL;DR is at the bottom)

A little background: I started using porn when I was 12 or 13, became a regular user by 14, and a heavy user by 16. Heavy porn use continued until I was 22, when I first experienced ED. After that, I struggled with PED and didn’t have sex for two years.

As of writing this post, I have been dating my girlfriend for a year; I’m a monster in the bedroom; getting women is easier than I could have ever imagined; my general confidence is through the roof. And I want to help all of you get here, too.

First, I have to confess: I still watch porn occasionally. The thing is, it doesn’t affect me. Granted, if I started heavily binging again, it might, but right now, I can see porn, and have no problem fucking my girlfriend.

I say this to you to emphasize a shift in how you frame your problem. I often see people counting their days without porn. The typical goal is 90, if I remember right. This can be helpful, I suppose. I myself used to count days, and I used to think I needed to make it to 90 days before I was ready to have real sex. The problem is that this is false, and potentially dangerous. Porn isn’t the problem — your brain wiring is the problem. You don’t need to quit porn (though it would certainly fix it). In fact, most of you won’t be able to. But the good news is, you don’t need to. You just need to make porn no longer a significant part of your life.

The reframing that helped me escape was, stop seeing things in terms of success (e.g. “Made it to day 60!”) and failure (e.g. “Relapsed again, feeling worthless.”). Instead, think of in terms of improving (e.g. “I used to watch porn 30 min a day, now I use porn like 10 min, once a week”). If you relapse, that is not a failure. Indeed, I don’t like the word relapse, because it connotes failure. You only relapse if you return to using porn all the time, each day. It’s not a matter of seeing porn per se; it’s a matter of your habits. If you don’t habitually or regularly watch porn, your problems will gradually disappear.a\

The second part is, don’t worry about your erections. They’ll come back! Biology is a powerful motherfucker.

When I first started seeing my girlfriend, the first time we tried to have sex, I was nervous. I mean, really nervous. Like, nearly-shaking-nervous. I couldn’t get it up. When she asked if I knew why, I told her that I really liked her, but I was really nervous. She smiled, and liked me even more after that.

The second time, I also failed. The next few times, my erections were weak and rubbery, and when I did have an orgasm, it was in a couple minutes.

The first time I had sex with her with a powerful erection, I lasted probably 3 minutes. But I was so proud of myself, I couldn’t believe it.

As I continued to use minimal porn, and continued getting with her, my erections got stronger and stronger.

Now, ED is gone. Occasionally, I get a weak boner, or occasionally I don’t get hard right away, but that shit happens. So if you try to have sex, and the wood isn’t forthcoming, don’t fret, because it happens to EVERYBODY: ED sufferers, normal dudes, porn stars, et cetera.

If you read the whole post, I’m glad :).

TL; DR
You don’t need to totally quit porn; you just need to get your brain used to not seeing porn much. Don’t worry about your erections. Get with a woman, and they will come back. Your girl won’t get upset if you don’t have good erections right away. Stay with her, and keep trying. Get naked with her, and see what happens.

If I, a person who used porn heavily for a decade at the height of my brain plasticity, can recover, anyone can recover. And you don’t have to totally quit porn forever in order to do it.

I still recommend that you try, though ;)

LINK - One year, post-recovery

BY - foxtrotsmith


 

INITIAL POST. 3 YEARS AGO – 22, ED, an e Restart

My story: 22 years old, been on PMO since about 13. Had a gf for 5 years which involved some pretty good sex. I experienced ED with her once last year, but only once, and I wrote it off as being tired and out of sorts.

Mir sinn am Dezember getrennt, a viru kuerzem hunn ech mech mat engem anere Meedchen ugeschloss, awer konnt et net opstoen! Elo, als éischt hunn ech et als midd geschriwwen, duerno als hatt net sou attraktiv wéi ech et gär hätt. Et war just wéi ech YBOP fonnt hunn, datt ech gemierkt hunn datt et PMO war, net hatt, an net midd war, wat meng ED verursaacht huet. Also hunn ech decidéiert permanent opzehalen.

Mäin Basisziel ass 10 Wochen ouni PMO. P muss onbeständeg sinn, mat nëmmen marginal M.

Ech war ëmmer eng wëll sozial Persoun, also weess ech net wéi eng Ännerungen ech sozial erwaarden. Ech LOVE nei Leit kennenzeléieren, also erwaarden ech net do grouss Gewënn ze maachen. Awer ech wëll mäi sexuellt Selbstvertrauen zréck. Ech wäert verdammt sinn wann ech ëmmer erëm mat Erektiounen ze kämpfen hunn.

My one major disappointment is dealing with this struggle in the last semester of college, when I should be out having the most fun. But worse things have happened.

Just woke up on Day 9. Pretty low libido, no morning wood. Woke up yesterday with a chub, but nothing today. I might be starting to flatline.

Stay tuned for the minutiae of my reboot!