I made it 90 days without looking at ANY porn and without jerking off a single time (obviously I had a handful of wet dreams, most recently as two nights ago). If you told me a year ago or even 90 days ago that i would be able to accomplish this, I would have said you’re crazy. I started nofap right after being dumped by a girl who I was super into. We had gone out for about 6 months, and it was my first relationship after two years of being single (and yes, a countless amount of PMO).
It was my first relationship where I truly accepted and liked a girl for who she was, faults and all, and didn’t want any part of her to change, which made it sting even more when it ended. The first few times we hooked up and had sex, I had no problem whatsoever getting hard because I wasn’t with a girl for 2+ years. Naturally, my body was all amped up and had no problem getting hard to this seemingly brand new experience (for reference, I got blue balls the very first time we hooked up, so I was functioning pretty normally down there).
Over time throughout our very brief relationship, I would have at least a handful of times where I couldn’t stay hard while having sex, couldn’t get hard enough for a long enough time to put on a condom. Couldn’t stay hard after putting on a condom. Only got hard to very specific maneuvers, etc. you name the bedroom problem I had it. And I KNOW this contributed to us breaking up, because I know it affected her self-confidence no matter how many times I told her it had nothing to do with her. And came up with whatever excuse to try and make myself feel better and normal (from having too much to eat/drink, to blaming the condom, you name it). To this day I still absolutely HATE that my PIED most likely played a part in our breakup because like I said before, I truly admired and liked everything about this girl (and tbh still do even 4 months later).
When I was going through PIED in my relationship, I had no idea that excessive porn and masturbation could cause ED. I thought my issues were just that I ate too soon before sex, or had too much to drink before sex, or whatever reason my brain came up with that day to justify my performance issues. It was only after breaking up that I researched if porn can cause ED and, THANK GOD I stumbled upon nofap. I truly can’t recall exactly what made me connect the dots and do that Google search, but I am so thankful I did. It might have been the combination of my PIED problems with my girl and not being able to get hard to cam girls and the hardcore porn I had been watching almost daily that finally sparked the lightbulb in my brain to go off and dive deep into the possible issues.
In addition to starting nofap after this breakup, I also applied for and got a job that I wanted so badly in New York City, which is where I currently reside after living in the same house in southern New Jersey for the first 25 years of my life. I guess after hitting complete rock bottom, you become unafraid to take risks because you’re basically starting back at square one and have nothing to lose. 3 months ago, I had no idea how I was going to live without that girl, overcome my broken dick and fucked up brain, and start a new chapter in my life, but here I am slowly but surely achieving all of those things.
While i am not where I want to be yet, I can tell I am improving myself each and every day. The urge to look at porn or log into a cam site does not exist anymore, because my brain has shut off the possibility of even doing so…it’s like my brain has developed a firewall to looking at porn. I don’t even consider doing it because now I see it for the truly disgusting thing it is. Sure, I still get urges to cum and have sex and I feel like a hornball sometimes but handling those urges via porn is never something I legitimately consider anymore. I’m actually thankful I have those urges because I can’t remember the last time pre-nofap where I would get random boners, morning wood, or get hard at the little things that weren’t hardcore porn. Most of the time I was just jerking off because I was bored or because I convinced myself the more I jerk off the longer I’ll last in bed (stupid, I know).
Another change I made since starting nofap is with my diet and lifestyle. I had been going to the gym pretty regularly for almost 3 years, but after starting nofap I kicked it into another gear by tracking everything I eat each day. For the longest time, I’ve been skinnyfat with love handles but pretty thin everything else, and i just became so tired of looking at myself in the mirror everyday and hating what I saw. So far from August until now, I have lost 26.6 pounds and am so happy with the progress I’ve made. However, I am still not where I want to be and am going to keep up this diet and exercise regimen until I see the results I want. I KNOW that I’m going to get the body that I’ve wanted for so long and thought I could never have, and that i will look into the mirror soon enough and love the person that I see in it.
If you’ve read this far you can tell that I went through a lot of huge life/lifestyle changes in a very short period of time, so sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint what to contribute to nofap, my change of scenery, relationship status, etc. needless to say, this has been the most tumultuous year of my life but, there are a few things I know for certain:
- I am more motivated than ever to be healthy and to take care of my body and treat it like a temple and to look how i’ve always wanted to look.
- Looking at porn is not even a possibility or something I consider anymore. It’s as if it doesn’t even exist to me.
- I have never gotten as many random smiles from girls as I have in the past 3 months. In fact, I can’t remember any passing girl giving me a smile anywhere until I started nofap. like i said, not sure if it’s because I’m now in New York and there’s millions of people here, or if I’m looking healthier and better than ever. Maybe both.
- It feels like my dick is actually part of my body again. Before, it just seemed dead and as if it’s only function was to pee; no random boners, no nothing going on down there. As weird as it sounds, it feels alive and healthy again, and I have little doubt that I could have a pleasurable orgasm without the use of porn.
- I know that overall, even though i surely have my bad days where I’m not confident and I’m stressing out over whatever and get agitated easily, I am in such a better place than I was 3 months ago. I am starting to like myself more, take more risks, speak up more, and actually follow through on doing what i need to do to achieve what i want (guess you call that discipline).
I guess you could say I’m starting to feel normal again. But when your old normal pre-nofap was so fucked up and dependent on PMO, it definitely takes some adjusting and you’ll go through a ton of growing pains. But what kept me going is just trusting the process. Trusting that making this incredibly beneficial decision to cut out PMO is going to benefit me in the long run so much. Not only do I know that I will get the body that I want, but I know that I’m going to make it another month PMO-free. And a month after that. And a month after that. I know that i will write a 120 day report and a 180 day report, and a 1 year report because I will not be a slave to PMO any longer.
I have read so many of your stories on here, and even if I didn’t comment on it, everything has had such a positive impact on me. I couldn’t have made all these positive changes in my life without you guys, so I am eternally grateful for each and every one of you for being part of such a great community. And if you read this far to hear me out, thank you so much and feel free to ask me any questions and I will answer the best I can.
Sorry if this is incoherent and all over the place, as it’s just my stream of consciousness about my 90 days PMO-free. I’m getting a little teary eyed writing all this and thinking about how much things have changed and what I’ve overcome and how much this community has helped me.
TL;DR: NOFAP IS WORTH IT! NEVER GIVE UP!
LINK - 90 day report – NEVER thought i’d be writing this
by hahacd
INITIAL POST - long time lurker, first time poster
hello fello fapstronauts,
i’m posting this for no other reason than it may help someone else out there who is going through something similar. It’s gonna end up being long, but maybe it will help someone else, as so many of your posts have helped me. i love how supportive and positive this community is; it’s truly like no other place on the internet.
At the end of July, the girl I had been with for about half a year ended things between us, and I felt like there was a huge hole in my life after that happened. Ever since we started hooking up before becoming official, I had spurts of PIED (that I didn’t know was PIED) that I brushed off and always found an excuse for. I tried to reassure her it wasn’t her, it was me (cliche, but 100% true) but I think my issues affected her confidence and probably contributed at least a little to ending things with me (so many other reasons played bigger roles, but it probably had some effect).
I wasn’t with anyone for 2 whole years before we started talking. In those two years, yup you guessed it, I PMO’d a lot. Just did it multiple times per week thinking it was normal and I needed to do it to get a release. Looking back on it, I HATE how it affected me because I couldn’t perform with this girl who I truly and fully was incredibly attracted to and I NEVER want to go through that again.
So after we broke up, I started looking up if porn can cause ED. As I know now and you all know, it obviously does. So on August 17, 2016 I stopped PMO and just hit my one month streak. At first, man, I was worried I would never get hard again. It just felt like I had no sensation down there and it was just a dead zone. Went through a week where I had two wet dreams, and slowly but surely I am starting to get morning wood and random wood throughout the day (I cannot remember the last time these things happened). I’m starting to get urges again, which I am honestly glad about because for the longest time I had ZERO libido and had to use a lot of P watching to just get hard, and couldn’t get hard with this girl I had a crush on for years.
Long story short, I am so glad I found this community and thank you all for posting your stories. My goal is for 90 days, which will be right before I head home for Thanksgiving. For those unsure about committing to nofap, just keep up the hard work, and never give up. If I can do this, anyone can.
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