Nine points to ponder
Hello everyone, I'm 27 and as all of you I have been digging my own grave for the last 15 years. My story is not different from your stories, pretty much the same thing. I can't remember when was the last time I had a morning wood. I went with an urologist and everything seems to be normal physically, but the truth is that my psychology is broken. It has affected my relationship with my girl more than I wanted to accept, and probably is beyond salvation. It is really difficult for a man to accept that masturbation and pornography are harmful habits that teach your body and your mind unnatural ways to live our own sexuality, it is an illusion, like the Siren's Melody, it is an apparently great thing that doesn't seem to have any consequences. But by the moment you realize it was a mortal deathtrap it is too late. I want to say what I have found to be true for me, because I feel that it is our responsibility to warn and help others that have fallen:
1.-Through masturbation we have taught our penis and our brain to believe that our hand is a vagina, and with pornography, that the girls on the videos are real and that we are actually having sex with those women. The body believes what the mind believes, it is that simple. The truth is that a vagina is way different than a hand, it is much softer, wet, not nearly as tight, fairly flexible, and the texture feels very different. And on top of that, when you have sex with a real woman you are the one who moves the body while in masturbation your hand does all the work. And guess what? The speed used in masturbation can not be achieved with a real woman, not even by a chance. In other words, basically, after teaching you penis and your brain that masturbation and pornography were "the real deal", when you faced a situation where you had to have sex with a real woman, your body and your mind got really confused. At the beginning maybe since it was a "new experience" your mind gave it a shot, but the excitement of the new experience soon faded away. The penis and the mind would not accept this "new and strange" form of sex. Don't worry; there was no way to know that you were actually screwing yourself. But now you know, and you have the choice to change your ways.
2.-Needless to say, our crave for pornography has escalated to a point where we needed the most perverse and sick video to "get off". It is time to stop; it is time to take our destiny in our own hands. No more masturbation, no more pornography, no more unnatural ways to satisfy a natural need. You owe it to your girl/wife, you owe it to yourself. It might be too late, but there's still hope for those believe and take action. You must have the guts to leave that world of illusions behind. I don't know if you noticed, but we are not getting any younger, we cannot afford to lose a single minute with this crap anymore.
3.-It won't be easy, but what is waiting for us at the other end is more than worth it. Do not fall, and do not rely on others, the guts and resolve lie within your spirit. Take a look at the past, and ask yourself if that's what you want to be.
4.-It will take a long time. We have been contaminating our mind and body for many years. You will feel the restoration of your mind and body with the upcoming months. And never forget, the body believes what the mind believes. Keep on going. To achieve a complete restoration it might take years, but don't worry, within a few months, from 3 to 6 months, you will perceive a huge change, perhaps a 70% of your "old you" back. And be aware that this is a process where you are leaving a drug behind, and your body will react just the same as other addicts. You will perceive as if your penis where smaller, and you will go through a period where you’re "sex drive is dead", and you will try to masturbate "just to make sure it still works", DO NOT FALL in that stupid mistake. That process is called withdrawal and it is perfectly normal. You will feel "the magic" eventually. Man, you have been killing yourself for so many years; it is just obvious that this was going to happen. But our bodies are the most amazing "machine" in the entire universe and it can heal if you are patient enough. Another thing that you must be aware of is that your mind will play you tricks, and if you are stupid or week enough to fall again, the first thought that will cross through your mind is this: "Since I will have to start all over again, let's have a porn/masturbation party before I start again". DO NOT BE YOUR OWN ACCOMPLICE IN SCREWING YOURSELF. Things like: "Just this one time", "just a quick peek", "I will watch porn but I won't masturbate", "I will masturbate but I won't watch porn, just using my imagination". Phrases like those are for losers, just trying to play dumb. If you feel that the urge is too great go out and find a girl and see if you are cured. Let me know how that goes, please...
5.-The mind has taken 90% of the damage, so, it is something that you cannot afford to neglect. Meditation is a MUST, positive affirmations will be necessary. Look, MOST OF THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ARE PERCEIVED BY OUR BRAIN AS THE SAME EMOTION=FEAR. And as you should know by now. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions when it comes down to self-confidence. It will crush you if you allow it to. Working in your self-esteem, in your positive thinking is vital for this recovery. Even if you don't watch porn or masturbate altogether for 50 years, if you don't work in freeing yourself from fear, it won't make a difference. The mind is far mor powerful than what you could imagine. You can use it to your advantage or be a victim of your own fear. It's up to you. THE BODY BELIEVES WHAT THE MIND BELIEVES.
6.-The fact that the mind is more important than the body doesn't mean that you can just do whatever you want with your body. Don't be a fool. Nutrition and exercise will be your best friends and will help with the self-esteem more than what you think. Testosterone is the key in nutrition. I'm not an expert in this field, but reading on the internet can give you much more information than what you could have ever imagined. Zinc is important, good fats are important, nuts, almonds, papaya, etcetera. Look for foods that will be good for your testosterone levels, and look for foods that you should avoid. Sleep well, and rest as hard as you workout. Do cardio, but don't forget to grow your muscles. I'm not telling you to become a gym freak, all I am saying is that you should do some research and see how testosterone works and how to boost it by NATURAL ways don't consume drugs. Guys, we are trying to leave drugs behind don't fall into that **** ever again.
7.-There are millions of girls out there waiting for a man that can fully satisfy them and profect them. Choose wisely in what group do you want to be, in the Alfa group or in the Beta (loser) group. It's up to you. I will recommend you a book so you have the right mindset: The Sex God Method, by Daniel Rose. I swear God you won't regret it.
8.-It is very important that you realize that your mind will relate previous traumatic experiences to specific people and/or places. What I am trying to say here is that if you have had bad sexual experiences your mind will remember them and relate it to a certain person, so be aware of this. If you believe that you don't feel attracted to your wife of girlfriend anymore, this is the reason. And again, if you really care, if you really love that person, you need to talk to her and explain the situation. This can be fixed but it won't be easy. Psychological damage is the most difficult thing to overcome, but as I told you, the human body/mind is the most amazing machine in the world. It will heal with time.
9.-THE KEY FOR SUCCESS IS PERSEVERANCE. IF YOU HAVE NO PATIENCE AND LACK OF CONSISTENCY, YOU WILL FAIL.
I have more things to say, but by the moment it is enough.
Thanks to everyone.
From this medhelp thread