Jonny, wazaka 27, wochokera ku Cambridgeshire akuti adali ndi zaka 12 azolowera zolaula- Kuvomereza zolaula kumalimbikitsa iye kuti awononge akazi omwe anali nawo
- Anakulira m'badwo woyamba pomwe zolaula zimatha kulowa pa intaneti
- Youth antchito tsopano akuyembekeza kuchenjeza achinyamata za kuopsa kwa zolaula
Nthawi imene mukakumana ndi Jonny Adams, iye amaoneka ngati wachifundo, mnyamata woganiza bwino. Pokhala ndi digiri yoyamba mu masewera a masewera apamtunda komanso ndi mnyamata wabwino-pakhomo pakhomo labwino, ndiye chilichonse chomwe mungayembekezere mwana wanu kapena mlamu wawo wamtsogolo.
Koma ndizoona kuti zolaula zimawonongeka kwambiri, zomwe 12, Jonny adakalipira kuti zisokonezeke ndi intaneti.
Popeza adakula muzaka zoyamba za ana omwe ali ndi ufulu wogwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti, akulankhula kunena kuti sitiyenera kuchenjeza ana athu za zotsatira za zolaula - tiyenera kuuzanso ana athu aakazi.
Jonny Adams, yemwe tsopano ndi 27, akuwulula kuti kukula kwa ufulu wowonera zolaula kwakhudza ubale wake ndi amayi ndi thanzi labwino. Iye tsopano akuwuphwanya iwo kwathunthu ndipo akuyembekeza kuti awachenjeze ena
Chifukwa chakuti monga Jonny, 27, amavumbula mwachidwi, zolaula zakhala zoposa njira yopambana kwambiri ya maphunziro a kugonana kwa miyoyo ya achinyamata. Iyenso yakhala ndondomeko ya momwe anyamata amachitira ndi kuchitira akazi.
Izi zimadetsa nkhaŵa kwambiri chifukwa ndondomeko yaposachedwapa ya NSPCC inapeza pafupifupi mmodzi mwa khumi aliwonse a 12 ndi anyamata a zaka za 13 akuopa kuti akuledzera.
Monga momwe Jonny akunenera: 'Zithunzi zimandibweretsa pamphepete, zomwe zimayambitsa nkhawa, kupsinjika maganizo ndi kugonana kosayenera kwa mkazi aliyense amene ndimamuyang'anitsitsa.
'Zinanso zinandichititsa chidwi kwambiri momwe ndinkamuonera munthu aliyense yemwe si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanga. Sizinangowononga mtendere wanga wa mumtima. Zinandiletsa kuona akazi ngati anthu. '
Ngati izi zikhoza kuchitika bwino, mnyamata wanzeru kwambiri, zikhoza kuchitika kwa wina aliyense.
Atafika kunyumba yosangalatsa m'mudzi wokongola ku Cambridgeshire, Jonny anali mwana wachikondi, wokonda kucheza komanso wokonda masewera. Pamene adalowa msinkhu, monga anyamata ambiri a msinkhu wake, anayamba kukhala ndi chidwi chofuna kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo.
'Zithunzi zolaula zinandifikitsa, zomwe zimayambitsa nkhawa, kukhumudwa komanso kuganiza zachiwerewere za mayi aliyense yemwe ndimamuyang'ana, atero a Jonny, omwe amavomereza kuti zolaula zimakhudza' momwe amawonera akazi
Jonny adayamba msinkhu panthawi yomwe zolaula zinayamba kupezeka mosavuta komanso pa intaneti. 'Banja langa linali ndi kompyuta ndipo nditamaliza sukulu ndinali ndi ola limodzi kuti ndiphe mayi anga asanabwere kunyumba'
Kusiyana kwake kunali kuti Jonny adakantha msinkhu pa nthawi yomwe zolaula zinayamba kukhala mosavuta komanso mwamsanga pa intaneti.
'Banja lathu linali ndi makompyuta ndi sukulu ndinali ndi ola limodzi kuti ndiphe ndisanagwire mayi wanga kuchokera kuntchito yake monga mphunzitsi,' akutero.
'Ndakhala ndikudziwitsidwa kwa amayi omwe alibe zovala kupyolera mwa magetsi a mchimwene wanga wamkulu, motero pasanapite nthawi ndisanayambe nsalu ndikufufuza zomwe ndingapeze kwaulere pa intaneti.'
Pofika zaka za 14, Jonny anapatsidwa makompyuta pa sukulu yake, kumulola kuti ayambe kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti payekha m'chipinda chake. Poyamba, akunena kuti amawona zithunzi zachiwerewere. Koma pasanapite nthawi, intaneti inamupangitsa kuti asayende mumdima omwe salipo masiku omwe zithunzi zolaula zokhazokha zinali magazini ya alumali.
Atapita ku yunivesite, a Jonny anali ndi ufulu wambiri wochita zachiwerewere, ndipo adayamba kuyang'ana zolaula mpaka kanayi patsiku. Komabe atsikana omwe adamugwera sanadziwe kuti zolaula zimakhudza bwanji momwe amawachitira
'Zolakalaka zanga zolaula zidatha,' akutero. Zomwe zidandipangitsa kukankha ndikukwaniritsa kukhumba kwanga tsiku lina sizinachitike lotsatira. Posakhalitsa, adanditsogolera kuti ndiwone zinthu zowoneka bwino kwambiri kuti ndikonzekenso '
'Kukonda kwawo zolaula kunasokonezeka,' akutero. 'Chimene chinandipatsa kukankha ndi kukwaniritsa kukhumba kwanga tsiku lina sichinagwire ntchito yotsatira.
'Pamene ndinali wachinyamata, intaneti inachokera pawombera mpaka kumawombera amphamvu ndipo zithunzi zowonongeka za kugonana zinasanduka malo omwe ali ndi masamba omwe ali pamasamba a mavidiyo.
Iye akuwonjezera kuti: 'Posakhalitsa, ndinatsogoleredwa kuti ndiyang'ane zinthu zowonongeka kuti ndiwonetsetse zojambula zofanana kuti ziwonedwe ngati kugwiriridwa, ndi ziwonetsero zonyansa za anyamata akudutsa mtsikana yemweyo.
'Pamene ndinali kugwira ntchito mwakhama kusukulu ndikupeza zizindikiro zabwino pa mayesero anga, makolo anga sanaone chifukwa chilichonse choti andiyese, kotero iwo sankapanga mafayilo a makompyuta. Iwo analibe chidziwitso chomwe chinalipo momasuka. '
Jonny nthawi zambiri ankasinthanitsa nkhani za zoopsa zomwe adaziwona ndi anzake kusukulu tsiku lotsatira.
Iye anati: 'Ndinabisala kwa makolo anga, komabe, pakati pa anzanga panalibe mlandu kapena manyazi.
Ali ndi zaka 21 ndipo ali ndi digiri, Jonny adakwanitsa ntchito yomwe adalota monga wopanga ndi timu yamagalimoto yamafomula One. Komabe m'malo mokhala pamwamba padziko lapansi, anali kuda nkhawa ndi zolaula zomwe anali nazo
'Ndinkakhala ndi mwayi kuti ndikulire pa nthawi yomwe mungathe kujambula zithunzi zaulere pamasewera. Panalibe vuto lililonse limene ndinatha kuona. '
Komabe, panali kale mtengo woti ulipidwe - osati osati Jonny. Ngakhale asanakwatirane ndi bwenzi lake loyamba, zolaula zikuwonekera ngati momwe amaonera akazi. 'Porn zinkasokoneza kwambiri momwe ndinkasamalirira atsikana chifukwa mavidiyowa amawawonetsera ngati zinthu zomwe ntchito yawo iyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito ndi kuyendetsedwa ndi amuna.
ZIKHALIDWE ZOCHITIKA
Lolemba ndilo tsiku lodziwika kwambiri loonera zolaula, linena deta ya intaneti, ndi mwezi wa January wotchuka kwambiri.
'Nditatha kutha msinkhu wanga ku 16, ndinafanizira msungwana aliyense amene ndimagona naye kwa omwe ndinkamuwona pawindo. Ndikawaseka ndi anzanga ngati matupi awo sanagwirizane ndi zolinga zanga zabwino. '
Atapita ku yunivesite, Jonny anali ndi ufulu wambiri wochita chizolowezi chake, ndipo anayamba kuyang'ana zolaula mpaka kangapo patsiku. Koma atsikana omwe anagwa chifukwa cha mawonekedwe ake atsopano sanadziwe kuti zolaula zimakhudza bwanji momwe ankachitira.
'Kugonana kwa ine sikunali pachibwenzi kapena chikondi. Ndinaona kuti ndi mwayi wochita zomwe ndinaziwona pawindo, "akutero.
'Ine ndinali ndikulamulira. Ndikanawapangitsa atsikana kuchita zinthu zomwe zinandichititsa kuti ndioneke. Zinali zonse zokhudza zosangalatsa zanga, osati zawo. '
N'zosangalatsa kuti Jonny sanakanepo chilichonse chimene anapempha. Iye anati: "Atsikana ankaoneka kuti akudziwa zomwe ndinkayembekezera - mwina poona zolaula."
Atazunguliridwa ndi anyamata ena omwe anakulira ndi zofanana, palibe khalidwe lake losaoneka.
Atafika kunyumba yosangalatsa m'mudzi wokongola ku Cambridgeshire, Jonny anali mwana wachikondi, wokonda kucheza komanso wokonda masewera. Koma pofika zaka 12, Jonny anali ndi chizoloŵezi chosokoneza intaneti
Iye anati: 'Onse okwatirana anachita chimodzimodzi.' 'Tonse timatsitsa akazi ndi ndemanga zomwezo. Atsikanawo sanazindikire, koma misogyny inali yochititsa mantha.
'Zinakhala zovuta kuona momwe tingachitire atsikana kuti tichite, kotero tikhoza kudzitamandira. Tinakakamiza atsikana kutumiza zithunzi zamaliseche zomwe tinalonjeza kuti tidzasunga chinsinsi, koma zomwe tidaziika pafoni zathu ndikuwonetsana. '
Pa 21 ndipo ndi digiri, Jonny anagwira ntchito yake ya maloto monga wokonza ndi timu ya galimoto ya Formula One.
Koma mmalo mokumverera pamwamba pa dziko lapansi, iye anali kudera nkhaŵa za zolaula zolaula zinali pa iye, chifukwa icho chinali chitayamba kukhudza thanzi lake labwino.
Komanso kumupangitsa kukhala wovuta kwambiri kwa amayi, zolaula zimamupangitsa kudzidzimva yekha. 'Ndinali 14 pamene ndinazindikira kuti sindidzafanane ndi amuna omwe ali ndi vutoli ndi 12 inch manhoods ine ndinawona pa kompyuta yanga,' akutero.
'Chifukwa cha izi, ndinadzimvera manyazi ndikuyesera kuti ndisamawoneke ndili wamaliseche pambuyo macheza a mpira.
'Panthawi imene ndinayamba ntchito yanga yoyamba, kusatetezeka kumene sindinali kokwanira kunayamba kuipiraipira. Ndinkadzimva kuti ndine wosatetezeka pamene ndinagonana.
'Onse okwatirana adachitanso chimodzimodzi,' akutero. 'Tonse timapeputsa azimayi omwe amapereka malingaliro ofanana. Atsikanawo sanadziwe, koma misogyny inali yodabwitsa '
'Ndikanakhala wotopa kwambiri kuti ndikadye madzulo nditachoka kunyumba kuchokera kuntchito ndikufufuza webusaiti ya zatsopano kuti anditsitsimule ndikutsimikizira kuti palibe cholakwika.
'Pambuyo pake, ndinamva kuti ndine wotsika kwambiri - ndinadzimva ndine woipa komanso ndekha.'
Zithunzi zolaula zinkasokoneza maganizo ake mpaka kufika mu ubongo wake zomwe zinakhudza maganizo ake pamene adawona mkazi.
'Ndakhala ndikumavala zovala zapansi moti ngati ndinkangokhalira kumenyana ndi azimayi, ndimayamba kuganiza,' akutero.
'Ndikanakumana ndi mayi yemwe anali wamkulu kwambiri kapena wokwatira ndipo amene ndinalibe chidwi ndi chiwerewere, zithunzi zanga zosavomerezeka zogonana zinkandifika.'
Jonny anagwedeza pansi pa 24. 'Ndinkasunga chinsinsi, koma mkati mwanga ndinali wovutika maganizo. Ndinalinso ndi chiyembekezo chopeza chikondi. Ndinakhulupirira kuti maubwenzi anali opanda pake. '
Jonny adakumana ndi zaka 24. 'Ndinkasunga chinsinsi, koma mkati mwanga ndinkakhumudwa,' akuulula. 'Ndinali nditataya chiyembekezo chodzapezanso chikondi. Ndimakhulupirira kuti maubale alibe tanthauzo '
Gary Wilson, wolemba buku latsopano la Your Brain On Porn, akuti Jonny amatsatira chitsanzo cha anyamata omwe amawaonetsa pa zolaula.
Komabe akuti akatswiri akungoyang'ana momwe zolaula zimakhudzira thanzi labwino. Zizindikiro zingaphatikizepo nkhawa, kukhumudwa, kudzidzipha, kusatetezeka ndi mavuto opanga maubwenzi.
Anyamata achichepere komanso achichepere amawona zolaula, ndizolemba kwambiri zomwe amaphunzira zimakhala. Kuwonetsa chilakolako chokhazikika chachikhalidwe chasonyezedwa kuti atsegule achinyamata ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuti afike pachimake kwambiri, ndizosautsa.
Wilson, yemwe waphunzira mmene zolaula zimakhudzira ubongo wa sayansi, amati: 'Kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti achinyamata ndi achichepere pamene anyamata ayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ayenera kuti aziwona zinthu zoopsa kwambiri.
'Mu kafukufuku wosavomerezeka wa 2012 makamaka achinyamata, 63 peresenti adavomereza kuti: "Zondikonda zanga zinkasokoneza kwambiri kapena zonyansa.
Pofuna kudzimasula ku zizolowezi zake zolaula, mu 2011, Jonny anayamba kupita ku tchalitchi chake, kumene adapanga mabwenzi atsopano.
"Ndayamba kuyang'ana mmbuyo pa moyo wanga ndikuwona zofooka za anthu odzikuza," akutero.
'Ndinazindikira kuti kugonana ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali pakati pa anthu awiri. Ndinatha kulankhula ndi anthu omwe adalandira zomwe ndachita ndikundithandiza.
Mu 2012, Jonny anasiya ntchito chifukwa ankafuna kuchita chinthu china chofunika kwambiri ndipo anakhala wachinyamata, kuthandiza achinyamata kuthana ndi vuto lomwelo.
M'zaka zitatu izi, iye sanayang'ane pa zolaula, koma avomereza kuti: 'Kwakhala kulimbana kovuta kuti asiye kumasuka. Mpaka pano posachedwa ndinali ndi zizindikiro za mavidiyo omwe ndinawawona. '
Jonny amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zotsatira zomwe zimapezekapo zolaula zomwe zingakhalepo pa mbadwo wotsatira, omwe angathe kuwona maola 24 tsiku pa mafoni apamwamba. 'Kawirikawiri ndimakumana ndi achinyamata omwe saganizira za kusonyeza zithunzi zojambula pa mafoni awo a atsikana omwe amaganiza kuti ayenera kukhala amaliseche kuti aziwakonda.
'Monga momwe ndinachitira, anyamatawa saona zolaula ngati zoipa - osati panobe. Ndikufuna kuwuza m'badwo uwu, ndipo wotsatira, kuti zolaula sizosangalatsa. Ndikuwopa kuti atsikana akukula ndi amuna omwe adzichita monga momwe ndinachitira.
'Zimapweteka m'njira zambiri kuposa momwe anthu amazindikire ndipo zingawonongeke kwambiri.'
Tanith Carey ndi mlembi wa Atsikana, Osadandaula: Zochitika Zomwe Amamanga Atsikana Amphamvu M'dziko Lovuta (Icon Books, £ 7.99).
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