Yankho lalifupi: Mwina Koma pali zambiri zomwe zimapita kumapeto amenewo kuyambira ndi blog https://thiswildwakingjourney.wordpress.com/2014/04/23/can-men-be-friends-with-women-theyre-sexually-attracted-to/, komwe kudzoza kwa my zolemba za blog.
Chomwe ndimapeza chosangalatsa kwambiri pazonsezi ndikuti zikuwoneka kuti pali maziko azidziwitso zokhudzana ndi zonsezi, zolaula, Karezza komanso lingaliro lina lowunikira lazomwe kulumikizana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, monga blog post yomwe ndidatchulapo zomwe zikuwonetsa kuthekera kwa mwamuna kuti akhalebe paubwenzi ndi mzimayi yemwe amawoneka wokongola.
Nkhani yomalizayi ndichinthu chomwe ndakhala ndikudzifunsa kwazaka zambiri. Mukatsatira "malamulo" amtundu wa anthu zitha kuwoneka ngati zosatheka komanso kulephera kwamakhalidwe nthawi yomweyo. Vuto ndiloti "malamulowa" ndi okhwima komanso opanda nzeru. Pomaliza, "malamulowa" amangokhala malingaliro otsika kwambiri pamalingaliro a aliyense amene akumvera. Mwachidziwikire, payenera kukhala zambiri.
Nthawi ina ndinapanga mawu osangalatsa: munthu wabwinobwino apitiliza kukumana ndi anthu osangalatsa komanso ofunikira pamoyo wawo wonse. Ngati munthu ali ndiubwenzi wanthawi yayitali sizomveka kulingalira kuti izi ziwamasula kukumana ndi wina yemwe ndi masewera abwino posachedwa. Inde, zenizeni sizimakhala zachidule. Izi zitha kumveka ngati kulingalira kosavuta koma mitengoyo ndiyokwera; kukhazikika kwachuma kwathu kumalimbikitsidwa kwambiri ndi maubale okhazikika, ogwirizana nawo okhala ndi nyumba, ndikugwirira ntchito limodzi kuti apange tsogolo labwino.
Poganizira izi, ndazindikira kuti anthu asokoneza kwambiri mgwirizano pakati pa anyamata ndi atsikana. Ndinkazikonda kwambiri nkhaniyi chifukwa chimalimba mtima kuti ndikanatha kunena zatsopano. Kusokonezeka kwa kugonana, pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, kwakhala mvuu yomaliza m'chipindacho. Zikuwoneka kuti nzopewedwa, kunyalanyazidwa ndikungovomereza kuti zilipo ndizosangalatsa munyengo ina iliyonse kunja kwa chikondi. Ndimaziwona mosiyana.
Ngati tili ndi malire oti atilepheretse kuchita zinthu zowononga anthu, mavuto azakugonana atha kukhala othandiza. Titha kuyamikira mphatso ndi mphamvu zamaganizidwe zomwe amuna kapena akazi amabweretsa mmoyo wawo osadzinenera kuti ndi otsika. Zili ngati malingaliro awiri osiyana omwe amathandizira kuwunikira zochitika zilizonse ndikupanga kumvetsetsa kwakukulu. Kungonena kuti amuna kapena akazi okhaokha sayenera kukhala pankhondo, tili ndi zochuluka zoti tingapatsane wina ndi mnzake komanso zochuluka zomwe tingapindule pogwira ntchito limodzi. Koma zonsezi zimadalira kukhazikitsidwa kwa malire kuti anthu azitha kugwira ntchito popanda kumva kufunika kodzitchinjiriza. Pakadali pano, amuna ndi akazi onse akutetezedwa.
Ulendo woyambiranso wandiphunzitsa zonsezi mpaka pamlingo wina. Nthawi zambiri ndakhala ndikunena kuti vuto lokonda zolaula ndikumapeto kwa madzi oundana ndipo ubale wolakwika pakati pa amuna ndi akazi ndi gawo lalikulu la madzi oundana. Zambiri zomwe ndimapeza kumayambiriro kwa zaka makumi asanu ndi awiri zapitazo zonena kuti zolaula zinali zopanda vuto komanso kuti kuseweretsa maliseche kunali kwachilendo. Ndi anthu angati omwe akula akukhulupirira kuti izi ndi zowonadi zenizeni? Ndi azimayi angati omwe asintha malingaliro awo chifukwa chodziwika ndi anyamata achichepere omwe amakonda zolaula? Chiyembekezo cha atsikana ambiri ndikuti adzawatsutsa. Amatha kudzidalira pamlingo wachisamaliro choipa chomwe angapange; osati chifukwa chakuti chidwi ndi chofunikira koma chifukwa sakudziwa kuti chisamaliro chamtundu wina chilipo.
Koma siziyenera kukhala choncho. Titha kukwera pamwamba pazikhalidwe zathu ndikugwiritsa ntchito kulingalira kwathu kuti tipeze malo apakati. Amayi sayenera kukhala ndi chizolowezi chodziteteza ku nkhanza zogonana ndipo amuna ndi akazi amatha kusangalala ndi chiyanjano cha wina ndi mnzake popanda kuyembekeza kuti agonane. Titha kuloleza zovuta zakugonana kukhala zabwino, zopatsa mphamvu zomwe zimapangitsa moyo kukhala wosangalatsa.
Pali azimayi angapo m'moyo wanga omwe sindidzagonana nawo ngakhale pang'ono. Ndimawayamikira ngati akazi ndipo ndimayamikira kuti amabweretsa zidziwitso m'moyo wanga zomwe ubongo wanga wamphongo sukuwoneka kuti umadzipangira wokha. Imodzi mwa nthawi zosaiwalika m'moyo wanga inali kukambirana pafoni ndi mayi yemwe ndimamukonda kwambiri. Adakumana ndi zambiri pamoyo wake ndipo ndikungolankhula ndikumvetsera nkhani yake ndimatha kukhala ndi chisangalalo chachikulu ndikukhutitsidwa chifukwa ndidamuthandiza kukhala womasuka, komanso wosamala. Zinali zokoma kwakanthawi monga ndikukumbukira ndipo anali abwenzi awiri okha oyamikirana wina ndi mnzake, podziwa kuti sitiyenera kukhala otetezeka. Zogonana ndizabwino, koma pali zambiri zoti zizinenedwa pokhazikitsa moyo wanu muubwenzi wabwino.
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