Zosangalatsa zamasiku ano zosangalatsa zolaula zitha kuyambitsa zodabwitsa
Anthu ambiri, mosatengera kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi, akugwiritsa ntchito zolaula zolaula za pa intaneti masiku ano, zosankha pa intaneti komanso zoseweretsa zogonana. M'malo mwake, munthu watsopano amene mukukhala naye pachibwenzi mwina ali.
Kuyesera kugonana sikuli chifukwa chochitira manyazi, koma ngati mukuganiza kuti zosakaniza zokonda kugonana ndizobwino, zimabweretsa kuzindikira za zotsatira zina maanja ena amafotokoza. Popanda kutero, mungathe kuonongeka ndi vuto lachidziwitso chosadziwika, ndipo mutha kudzidzudzula pazinthu zomwe sizikukhudzanso ndi inu, kugonana kwanu, kapena luso lanu pakati pa mapepala.
Kutsitsimutsa kwamakono kungathe kupanga malipenga
Kodi mumakhulupirira kuti, "Anthu satengera zolaula pa intaneti / pa intaneti ngati angathe kugonana mochuluka momwe angafunire ndi munthu wina wokhala ndi libido yokwanira?" Mwina izi zinali zowona kale. Sizilinso choncho. Chowonadi cha dazi ndichinthu kale zokondweretsa. Komabe zitha kukhala zosokoneza mnzanu akasankha zokopa ngakhale mutakhala okonzeka komanso okonzeka kumusangalatsa.
Mnzake wamwamuna wazaka zaposachedwa adati, "Ndikufuna kuti andipatse mwayi asadatulutse chojambulira." Nayi malingaliro achikazi:
Amanditenga ngati wooneka bwino, wokhazikika, komanso wooneka ngati wachichepere kuposa msinkhu wanga. Sindinkadandaula mwamuna wanga akamaonera zolaula chifukwa ndimazikondanso, nthawi zina. Koma tsopano angakonde kuziwonera kumbuyo kwanga. Sindikumvetsa. Ndikufuna kuchita nawo zinthu zonsezi mumakanema naye koma amangokhalira kungochokapo. Ndili wosungulumwa komanso wopanda nkhawa. Ndatopa kwambiri chifukwa chosagonananso ndi munthu kotero kuti ndikuganiza zosiya. Wakhala wolimbikitsidwa kwambiri ndipo sangathenso kugonana nthawi zonse. Sindingakhale moyo wosagonana.
N'chifukwa chiyani munthu angakonde kugonana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wake weniweni? Chifukwa chakuti zachilendo zake zatsopano, kapena kunjenjemera kwakukulu kwa anthu, zimachititsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri mankhwala osokoneza bongo kuti palibe womudziwa yemwe angagwirizane. Ngakhale kuti mapangidwe apamwamba sanawathandize kwambiri kukwaniritsa as kugonana nanu, zingakhale zambiri kukakamiza nthawi zina.
Kuti mumvetsetse momwe izi zimachitikira, zongopeka za sayansi, muyenera kudziwa pang'ono zamaubongo am'magazi okonda kudya komanso momwe zimakhalira amalumikizana ndi zothandizira masiku ano zokhudzana ndi zakugonana. Mwachidule, kanema yatsopano iliyonse, kufunafuna chithunzi chabwino, kugonana kwa chidole, kugonana kwa pa Intaneti, ndi kugonana kwanu kwam'kamwa kozizwitsa kumatulutsa neurotransmitter yotchedwa dopamine. Ndi "Muyenera!" neurochemical kuseri kwa zizolowezi zonse. Mwamuna wina adalongosola momwe zolaula pa intaneti zimakhudzira ubongo wake:
Kuthamanga kwa dopamine kumapenga ndi zolaula pa intaneti. Zimangochulukitsa ubongo ndipo mukungokhala osachita chilichonse. Ndikumverera koledzeretsa.
Tsoka ilo, dopamine yochulukirapo imatha kusokoneza kuyankha kwa dopamine muubongo, kusiya mnzake posachedwa akumva kupindika, kuda nkhawa-ndikukhumba kulowetsedwa kwina kwa dopamine mwa njira yofulumira kwambiri, yocheperako. Momwemonso, ngakhale kukumana kokondana kwambiri kumawoneka ngati ntchito. Zithunzi zolaula pa intaneti kapena vibrator, komabe, zimakupatsani vuto lokhazikika la dopamine pamtima. Zoseweretsa zolaula komanso zogonana zili ndi mphamvu zopitilira muyeso wazakugonana muubongo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti dopamine yonse imamasulidwa, kutulutsa maubongo ena kukhala osangalatsa (kuchepetsa kuchepa kwa dopamine).
Mukuwona vuto? Zikatere, kugwiritsidwa ntchito kwa dopamine kwa mnzanuyo sikukuwonetsani inu kapena kupanga kwanu chikondi.
Ndipo kwenikweni, monga Davy Rothbart akufotokoza, zolaula zogonana zolaula zitha kutsekedwa. Ikhoza kutilepheretsa kusangalala ndi mphatso zopatsa thanzi pakati pa ogonana pakati pawo: kukondana, kununkhira, komanso kucheza nawo. Mfundo yofunika: Omwe amakondana masiku ano atha kugunda khoma lomwe linali lachilendo kwa makolo awo: Mnzanu akhoza kukhala wokhutitsidwa kwambiri pakugonana - komabe akufunabe zolimbikitsa kwambiri kuti athetse zilakolako zomwe zimabwera chifukwa cha kuchepa kwa dopamine - pomwe inu mumangoima pafupi osadzithandiza.
Kulephera kugonana pa nthawi yogonana ndi wamba
Azimayi ayamba kufotokozera kuti kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula ndi / kapena zolaula kumawapangitsa kukhala osachepera kugonana moyenera.
Sindinakhulupirire momwe vibrator yanga idakwanitsira ntchitoyi. Inagwira ntchito bwino. Pasanathe mwezi umodzi, sindinathenso kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chibwenzi changa, ndipo miyezi ingapo pambuyo pake, sindinathe kuzichita ndi dzanja langa. Ndinayesa kuseweretsa maliseche kamodzi. Kulimbikitsako kunali kovuta kwambiri kotero kuti ndinalowa pasanathe mphindi imodzi (osati ngati moyo weniweni!). Kugonana kwenikweni sikungakwaniritse izi. Ndikayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti, ndikadakhala ngati m'modzi mwa anthu omwe sangathenso kuyambiranso popanda izi.
Pa nthawi yomweyo, amuna ambiri akunena kuti intaneti zolaula ndikukhala macheza akhoza pang'onopang'ono kukhumudwa awo kukhudzidwa. Ndipotu kufufuza kwaposachedwapa ku Italy kunatsimikizira kuti kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula kumayambitsa kukula kopanda mphamvu (kugonana kwachiwerewere) mwa anyamata. Chotsatira chimodzi chakuchepetsa chidwi chaubongo pachisangalalo ndimavuto azogwirira ntchito (nthawi zina amabisidwa ngati kufunika kwachilendo kapena kukakamiza mwamphamvu ndikukakamizidwa kuposa momwe matupi amthupi amatha kuperekera mosamala).
Kulephera kwa Erectile panthawi yogwiritsira ntchito kumakhala kofala kwambiri pakati pa ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula mwakuti amuna m'maforamu ayamba kulangizana wina ndi mnzake kuti si zachilendo kufunikira kulimbikitsidwa mwamphamvu ndi zolaula pa intaneti kuti zitheke. (Osati, ndipo iwo omwe amasiya zolaula nthawi zambiri apeze mphamvu zawo.)
Ndinkakonda kugonana ndi mkazi wanga mpaka nditayamba zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche. Ndimaganiza kuti nditha kukhala ndi maiko opambana koma pamapeto pake zidandigwira. Tsopano ndikukumana ndi mavuto a erectile ndipo ndikusokoneza kwenikweni malingaliro anga, zomwe zimangoyenda pang'ono zomwe zimabweretsa zochititsa manyazi.
Mnyamata wina:
Ndili pakati pa zaka makumi awiri ndi makumi awiri ndipo ndakhala ndi vuto lokhazikitsa ndi kukondana ndi chibwenzi kuyambira pomwe ndinayamba kuyang'ana zolaula pafupifupi zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zapitazo. Ndapita ku ma GP osiyanasiyana mpaka zaka zambiri ndipo nthawi zonse ndauzidwa kuti ndilibe vuto.
Zosakaniza zofooka zingayambitse kugonana kosatetezeka
Nayi nkhani ya munthu m'modzi:
Ndimagonana nthawi zonse (my), koma m'zaka zaposachedwa ndakhala ndikuonera zolaula kwambiri. Tsopano ndili ndi mavuto a erection. Pali atsikana angapo omwe amatha kugona nane, koma ndi makondomu okha (moyenerera). Mwezi watha, ndinayesera kugonana. Adachita zonse zomwe amatha, koma pamapeto pake adakhumudwa ndikundilola kuti ndilowemo popanda kondomu. Kamodzi mwa iye, kukonzekera kwanga kunayamba kulimba. Kenako anamva chisoni ndikunditulutsa. "Palibe kondomu," adatero, "osagonana." Zinandionetsa kuti atasowa chochita aliyense akhoza kuchita chiwerewere chowopsa. Izi sizabwino.
Ndikubwerera kunyumba, ndinalira. Kugonana koteroko kukadapangitsa kuti ine ndi mtsikanayo tifunikire, zomwe tonse tidali tisanakhalepo kwakanthawi. Zikanatibweretsa pamodzi. Ndikulemba ndikuwona momwe zinthu zikuyendera. Chibwenzi ndi maliseche koma osawonera zolaula: zosokoneza. Chibwenzi komanso kuseweretsa maliseche zolaula: zofooketsa komanso kugonana kosatetezeka.
A phunziro 2002 adanena kuti 32% ya ogwiritsira ntchito makondomu ali ndi mavuto okhwima omwe amachititsa kuti asagwiritsidwe ntchito mosavuta. Mwa 2006, chiwerengerocho chinali mpaka 37%. Kodi kuchuluka kwa zolaula kunali chifukwa? Zitha kukhala zoyambitsa zowopsa kuwonjezereka kosavomerezeka mumtundu wa chiwerewere?
Nchiyani chikuyambitsa kusamvana kwa ubalewu?
Zonse zobisika zobisika zowonjezera zokha pamene dopamine kuyankha kumatsika ndi kusowa kuzindikira kuti kulimbikitsa kugonana kwachiwerewere kumabweretsa chisankho chogonana, kungachititse abwenzi kupanga malingaliro olakwika pa zomwe zimayambitsa mavutowo.
Ndayambanso kulankhula ndi wakale wanga. Tinakambirana bwino za zolaula zanga. Sanadziwe kuti ndili ndi vutoli. Inenso sindinatero. Adanenanso momwe ndimawonekera patali ndikamagonana, ndipo ndidamufotokozera sizinali chifukwa sindinkafuna kugonana naye koma chifukwa ndinali nditakopeka kwambiri kotero kuti akadayenera kumangoyenda ndi mapazi ake, kuyamwa kavalo ndikuchulukitsa [kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha] kuti ndikopeka ndikugonana naye. Zimandipangitsa kuganiziranso za ubale wonsewo. Nthawi yomwe ndimaganiza kuti mavuto athu ndi omwe amamuchititsa chifukwa cha misala yake [kuti ndimakhala patali chifukwa ndimachita chibwenzi], pomwe zizolowezi zanga ndizomwe zimayambitsa.
Mwamuna wina:
Chilimwe chatha ndidalowa muubwenzi womwe ndimaganiza kuti ndikumapeto kwa machitidwe anga a PMO. M'malo mwake, zidangokhala miyezi isanu ndi umodzi. Miyezi ingapo yoyambirira inali yayikulu; Sindinkaonera zolaula kapena kuseweretsa maliseche. Koma ndidadzipeza ndekha ndikubwerera ku PMO pomwe sitinali limodzi, kapena usiku womwe sitinkagonana. Sindinaganize kuti izi zingawononge kugonana kwathu kapena ubale wathu panthawiyo. Koma zidatero. Ndinayamba kusiya kumufuna zogonana ngakhale ndimthupi ndimtundu wanga. Izi njira amawotcha kunja!
Pomaliza, nayi mzimayi akunena za miyezi yomwe zimatengera kuti mnzake abwezeretse ntchito yake:
Njira yathu yochiritsira yakhala yodabwitsa modabwitsa. Ndimati "wathu" chifukwa kukhala ndi zolaula zomwe zimayambiranso ndichinthu chophatikizana. Monga momwe mayi aliyense angaganizire, zimatha kuyambitsa zovuta zina zikafika podzikayikira iye komanso wake. Kuyang'anizana ndi mantha awa pomwe ADZABWERERA ndikofunikira, ndipo sindinganene kuti izi ndizofunikira.
Kwa inu amuna kunja uko omwe mukuwopa kuti mwapha mbolo yanu mwabwino kudzera kuseweretsa maliseche mokwiya: Musaope. Zimabweradi. Mulungu wabwino amabwerera. Amalumbira kuti "ndakulitsa mbolo yake kapena china chake," ndipo inde, ndichodabwitsa kwambiri. Ndizosangalatsa kumumva akunena kuti ndikuchita, ndichinthu chogonana komanso chobwezeretsa chidwi. Zaka zowononga tsopano zasinthidwa.
Zolimbikitsa zakugonana zimasokoneza mchitidwe wabwinobwino wokwatirana mwaumunthu m'njira zomwe chikhalidwe chathu sichinavomerezeke, koma zomwe sizingafanane nazo kukhudzidwa kwa ubongo waumunthu kukokomeza. Chifukwa chake ngati chibwenzi chanu chitha chifukwa cha zosangalatsa zamasiku ano zosangalatsa (ndipo simunakonzekere kutero yesani china chatsopano), choko kuti muchite-ndipo musakayikire kukopa kwanu.
Kukula kwasayansi umboni wokhudzana ndi kupuma kwa msana (maphunziro)
Zofufuza za kugonana pakati pa kugonana ndi mankhwala mu ubongo
zosintha
- Kodi munthu amadziwa bwanji? Mankhwala omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri padziko lonse, Mayiko Akumayiko Onse a Matenda (ICD-11), ali ndi matenda atsopano woyenera kuchita zachiwerewere: "Kugonana Kwachiwerewere. ”(2018)
- Kugonana ndi kugonana / kugonana? Tsambali likulemba Zotsatira za 39 za sayansi (MRI, fMRI, EEG, matenda opatsirana pogonana, mahomoni). Amapereka chithandizo cholimba cha mtundu wa mankhwala osokoneza bongo pamene zofukufuku zawo zimagwirizanitsa zochitika za m'maganizo zomwe zimafotokozedwa mu maphunziro osokoneza bongo.
- Malingaliro enieni a akatswiri okhudzana ndi zolaula / kugonana? Mndandanda uwu uli Ndemanga za 16 zaposachedwa & ndemanga ndi ena mwa apamwamba a sayansi ya sayansi padziko lapansi. Zonse zothandizira mtundu wa mankhwala osokoneza bongo.
- Zizindikiro za kuledzera ndi kuchuluka kwa zinthu zoopsa kwambiri? Kupitilira maphunziro a 30 omwe amafotokoza zomwe zikugwirizana ndi kuchuluka kwa zolaula (kulolerana), chizolowezi choonera zolaula, komanso zisonyezo zosiya (zizindikiro zonse ndi zizindikiro zosokoneza bongo).
- Kulingalira mfundo yosalimbikitsidwa yolankhulidwa yakuti "chilakolako chachikulu cha kugonana" akufotokozera zolaula kapena chizolowezi chogonana: Kafukufuku wa 25 amapusitsa kunena kuti kugonana & zolaula "amangokhala ndi chilakolako chofuna kugonana"
- Zolaula ndi zogonana? Mndandandawu uli ndi maphunziro a 26 omwe akugwirizanitsa ntchito zolaula / zolaula ku mavuto a kugonana ndi kuchepetsa chilakolako chogonana. FZosintha za 5 zilibe mndandanda zovuta, pamene ophunzira adasiya kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndikuchiza matenda opatsirana pogonana.
- Zotsatira za zovuta pazoyanjana? Zofufuza pafupifupi 60 zimagwirizanitsa zolaula zimagwiritsa ntchito kugonana kosachepera komanso kukhutira ndi chibwenzi. (Monga momwe ife tikudziwira onse Kafukufuku wokhudza amuna adanena za kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula zambiri zogwirizana osauka kugonana kapena kukondana.)
- Kodi kugwiritsa ntchito zithunzi kumakhudza bwanji maganizo ndi maganizo? Pazofufuza za 55 zomwe zimagwirizanitsa zolaula zimagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi thanzi lakuthupi lamaganizidwe & zotsatira zazidziwitso zosauka.
- Kodi kugwiritsa ntchito zithunzi kumakhudza bwanji zikhulupiliro, malingaliro ndi makhalidwe? Onani maphunziro aumwini - Phunziro la 25 limagwirizanitsa zolaula zimagwiritsira ntchito "maganizo osagwirizana" kwa amayi ndi malingaliro ogonana - kapena chidule cha mndandanda wa 2016: Media ndi Sexualization: Boma la Kafukufuku Wofufuza, 1995-2015.
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