Anyamata: Kodi Mukugwera Kuti Mgonjere Wogonana? (2011)

Kafukufuku watsopano akusokoneza zikhulupiliro zomwe anthu ambiri amakhulupirira

Ngakhale mutakhala ndi zibwenzi zingati, mutha kupindulabe pozindikira momwe mulili wolumikizana. Kukhala awiri-ogwirizana, mwa njira, sikutanthauza kuti "mosangalala nthawi zonse." Zikutanthauza osagwirizana ndi anthu: kukhala ndi mphamvu yokhala m'chikondi ndi chikhumbo chokhala pachibwenzi, kwa kanthawi. Mosiyana, mitundu yambiri ya zinyama ili ngati bonobo chimps ndi makoswe; iwo amakwatirana ndikusunthira patsogolo. Zifukwa za kusiyana kugona mu ubongo dongosolo.

Ngakhale tili ndi chiwerewere, anthufe ndife mitundu yolumikizana. Zikuwoneka pakukonda kwathu kwamphamvu zakukhudza ndi kupitiriza kukhala nawo-ndipo zimakhala zomveka, popeza ana athu amapindula ndi makolo omwe amakhala mozungulira nthawi yayitali. (Kuti mumvetse bwino za kulumikizana kwa anthu, onani "Ubongo Wanu Wosangalatsa" mkati Compass of Pleasure.) Monga momwe zilili ndi khalidwe lina lililonse, palinso nthawi zonse (anthu otchuka). Kotero iwe ukudziwa bwanji kuti inu ali pa awiri-bonder spectrum? Ndipo kodi zikutanthauzanji pokhudzana ndi kukhutira?

Taonani kafukufuku waposachedwapa wa mabanja oposa 1,000 kapena pakati kudzipereka, ubale wa nthawi yaitali ochokera kumayiko asanu. Ofufuzawo anati, "Magulu onse aubwenzi wachimwemwe anali okwanira phunziroli." Nanga awa akuti chiyani chimapangitsa maubale awo kukhala osangalatsa kwambiri (mwachitsanzo, atha kukhala)?

Kwa amuna, kupsompsonana ndi kukwapula mobwerezabwereza ndi kugonana kobwerezabwereza ndi wina aliyense kumayambitsa zovuta za chiyanjano cha ubale ndi chinthu cha pafupifupi 3. (Makamaka 3.0 ndi 3.11, motsatana. Kwa azimayi mphamvu yolosera ya aliyense anali 1.59 ndi 1.35 okha.) Monga momwe ofufuzawo adanenera, pali "chosowa chakuwunikanso gawo la chikondi chakuthupi ndi tanthauzo lake" mwa jenda. Pakafukufuku wina, ngakhale anyamata achichepere adalumikizana Chikondi choposa chikondi chogonana ndi chikhalidwe chokondweretsa.

Nthawi ya ubale nayenso inali ndi zotsatira zabwino komanso zabwino pa ubale wokondwa. Ndipo amuna omwe anali ndi zibwenzi zochepa adanena kuti akukhutira ndi kugonana. Kodi anyamata ali basi wired for monogamy? Kodi kuyandikana kwapafupi kumawonjezera chisangalalo? Kodi kugwirizana pakati pa mitundu ndi kusakhutira ndi chiyani? (Mphindi zambiri.)

Kutchuka kwambiri kwa chiwerewere ndi nthawi zambiri za kugonana kunali osati Otsindika mwamphamvu za ubale wachimwemwe. Komabe, koposa zonse, onse okwatirana adavotera mnzake zooneka ngati zofunika kwambiri kuposa zawo. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, iwo omwe amacheza nawo mokondwera pa nthawi yayitali amawoneka kuti amayamikira kukhudzika kwachikondi ndi kukweza, kugonana, ndipo, mwinamwake, malingaliro oolowa manja mopitirira malire okha.

Kodi chiani? lanu ubongo umati, ndipo kodi mukukumva bwino?

Kugonana kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi komanso kusakhulupirika nthawi zambiri kumagwirizana ndi kukhutira kapena kukhudzidwa. Maganizo amenewa amayamba m'gulu loyambirira la ubongo umene umadziwika kuti oyang'anira madera. Kulikonse komwe mungagwere pawunikirayi, momwe inu mumakhala ndi malingaliro anu abwino angakhoze kuwulula momwe inu muliri wired. Ngati mukuganizira kwambiri za kugonana kwanu, ndipo ogwirizana ndi aphrodisiac anu akuluakulu, mukhoza kukhala wired wa riskier, kugunda kapena kuphonya kugonana kuposa nthawi yaitali yokhala ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi yekhayo.

Mwa njira ina, ukhoza kukhala womanga mawiri omwe kuyankhidwa kwachisangalalo kumakhala kovuta kwambiri chikoka chogonana-Komwe osokoneza. Pankhaniyi, a Kuphunzira kwatsopano anapeza kuti kuwonetsa kwakukulu kwa kusakhulupirika kwa amuna ndiko: kukhudzidwa kwa chisangalalo cha kugonana (kukhala mosavuta chifukwa cha zovuta zambiri ndi zochitika) ndikuopa kugonjetsedwa kwa kugonana. Zonse zikhoza kukhala zizindikiro za kupitirira malire. Zachilendo ndi chiopsezo zingathe kutero chifukwa chosowa aphrodisiacs chifukwa amamasula owonjezera dopamine. Kamodzi kulemera mu ubongo kubwezeretsedwa, kukakamiza kwakukulu nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosafunika kuti munthu agwire ntchito yogonana, ndipo kukhala wokwatirana ndi mwamuna mmodzi kumakhala kosavuta.

Mulimonsemo, ngati mumapeza chikondi, kukhudzana ndi kugonana kwambiri kumadzutsa komanso kukhutiritsa, ndiye kuti mwinamwake ndinu osati osasamala pokhapokha ngati muli ndi zibwenzi zambiri pa nthawi. Okwatirana awiriwa amavomereza kugonana, ndithudi, koma kuti omvera awo azikhala omvera ndi kulandiridwa zikuwoneka kukhala okondweretsa kwambiri komanso olimbikitsa. Izi zikuwoneka kuti ndi zoona kwa ena primates ogwirizana komanso.

Kodi ndinu wolumikizidwa ngati maanja omwe akhalitsa omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa? Ngati ndi choncho, mwina simukuchita bwino masiku ano. Mphamvu zophatikizana, monga kufunika kwachisomo poyankha zogonana, zitha kuwoneka ngati zofooka masiku ano ogonana. Nazi malo anayi omwe upangiri woyenera ungakupindulitseni:

1. 'Ngati zili zabwino uchite' zitha kubweretsa chizolowezi

Khulupirirani kapena ayi, ngati muli ndi zingwe zolimba kwambiri, mutha kukhala pachiwopsezo chotengeka-osati pa intaneti zokha, komanso pazinthu zina. Chifukwa chake ndi chachilengedwe. Kukondoweza kwakukulu "kumalanda" ubongo womwe umasintha kuti ukalimbikitse kulumikizana. Mwachitsanzo, ma vo-bonding (prairie) voles nthawi zambiri amapitilira zinthu zolimbitsa thupi (mosiyana ndi ndege zosagwirizana ndi ziwiri). Komabe ophatikizidwa prairie voles ali osakhudzidwa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Zimakhala ngati mphotho yoyenda ndi awiri amakhala ndi “kabowo” kofuulira kuti kadzazidwe ndi ma bond awiri (ngakhale sangamangidwe).

Pakalibe mgwirizano wokhutira, ma bond bond awiri atenga chilichonse kuti akwaniritse "dzenje" limenelo. Ndipo ena sadzazindikira ndi akapolo awiri mpaka atasiya awo omwe amalowetsa chikondi. Monga mnyamata wina anati:

Cholinga: M'chaka chamaphunziro chotsatira, pezani anzanu ovomerezeka, odalirika. Ndizotheka kuti izi zikutanthauza bwenzi. Zabwino ndi ine! Ndikungofuna TLC. Mulungu, ndi zosiyana kwambiri ndi ine kuti ndiyankhule chonchi. Kwa zaka zambiri ndakhala ndikulakalaka zolaula, ndikudziwitsidwa, zomwe sindinadziwe kuti anthu amatha kukondana kwambiri. Tsopano ndikusandulika umodzi wawo.

Momwemo, ubongo wothandizira awiriwo ukhoza kuchititsa chidwi kwambiri kuti uchotse abambo olaula, ngakhale mutakhala wokondedwa weniweni. Mwamuna wina anati:

Ubongo wanu uyenera kuvomereza kuti mukuwombera atsikana onsewa, kuti musawawonenso iwo! Zidzakupweteketsani, kupsya mtima, kukhumudwa, kupsinjika mtima, kutentha ngati gehena, kufooka, kusalongosola-kudzakukozani inu ku gehena yoipa kuti mubwererenso kwa amayi anu, chifukwa amawakonda kwambiri. [Zolumikizana za amuna awiri-awiri-awiri zimasonyeza mtundu womwewo wa mavuto pamene osiyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi.]

Ananenanso momwe zimakhalira akamapita kwa wokondedwa weniweniyo:

Ndiye, monga momwe mungathere ndi chibwenzi (chabwino, chimodzimodzi, chifukwa ndi chimodzimodzi), mumadzuka tsiku lina malungo atha. Ubongo umati "Chabwino. Ndikumvetsetsa. * fwenkha *. Ndikuganiza kuti azimayi onse apita ndipo sindidzawawonanso. * sniff *… Hei - mayi ameneyu wakudikirira pamzere ku bank ndi wokongola ngakhale! Hei mwana wanga! ” Ndipo mwachiritsidwa. [Posakhalitsa adakumana ndi mayi yemwe adamukonda kuyambira kale.]

2. Kugonana Kwachikondi Kungabweretse Kukhutira Pang'ono Pang'ono Kumsewu

Chifukwa cha malingaliro abwino omwe amalumikizana nawo kuchokera kukulumikizana, aphunzitsi odziwika bwino amalimbikitsa anthu okwatirana kuti azigonana paokha kuti awonjezere chikhumbo chawo chokhutira kugonana chikhoza kuwonongeka. Mwamuna mmodzi, amene anadwala matenda oopsa a erectile kwa zaka zambiri ndipo chifukwa chake sankachita zachiwerewere nthawi zambiri, anaganiza zoyesa kusiya kugonana kwa miyezi itatu asanakwatirane ndi mkazi wake. Atatha masiku anayi olunjika kugonana naye, adati:

Iyi ndi nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndimagonana osaganizira za chinthu china. Kuyang'ana kwambiri mkazi wanga tsopano ndikutsegula! Ndikhoza kuyembekezera zambiri za ine m'mbuyomu. Ndinaganiza kuti ndiyenera kudzuka ndikukonzekera kupita kanthawi kochepa, zivute zitani. Ndinkayembekezera kupeza boner nthawi iliyonse ndikayang'ana mkazi wokongola. Tsopano chiyembekezo changa ndikuti ndikhale wolimba ndikamasuka pamaso pa mkazi yemwe ndimamukonda (mwachitsanzo, mkazi wanga).

Usiku woyamba, sizinachitike mpaka pomwe ndidayamba kukwatirana ndi mkazi wanga pomwe ndidakonzeka. Tsopano ndikuyamba "kumva" libido yanga pang'ono tsiku lonse. Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndachiritsidwa, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti vuto langa linali chisakanizo cha magwiridwe antchito komanso kuseweretsa maliseche kwambiri. Ngati masiku 4 akugonana motsatizana ndi mkazi wanga osanditsimikizira kuti libido yanga ili bwino, ndichani?

3. Cuddle Buddies Atha Kukhala Opindulitsa Kuposa Ma Hook-Ups

Omangirira awiriwa amawoneka kuti amakondana komanso amakondana kwambiri kuposa kugonana komwe kulibe zochepa. Chifukwa chake, pakati pa maubale, "zibwenzi”Ndi njira yabwino kuposa yokhudza kugonana pa Intaneti kapena kuchita zachiwerewere. Anati anyamata angapo omwe adayesa:

Tsopano ndili ndi mzanga wosuta. Timangowonera kanema limodzi kanthawi, tikugwirana. Ndi mkhalidwe wabwino chifukwa palibe kukakamizidwa. Ndipo ndiyeneradi kunena, azimayi enieni ali bwino kwambiri kuposa zolaula. Zimamva bwino kwambiri. Ndikuganiza kuti ndizomwe ndakhala ndikufuna kwa moyo wanga wonse. Zinali zotonthoza kudziwa kuti amafunanso kuzichita momwe ndimafunira.

Ndizotheka kuti ma bonders ena amapangidwira zibwenzi zocheperako zomwe zimalola kuti pakhale chidaliro (ndikuwunika kukhulupirika). Monga tafotokozera mu "Njira Yowongoka Yokhalabe Chikondi”

Inde, amuna ena sali ochepetsedwa kwambiri ndi zida zowonjezera kuposa ena. Monga bwenzi la sayansi ya chisinthiko anati,

Zikuwoneka kuti njira zomwe ubongo udasankhira kumangirira ana zimalandiridwanso chimodzimodzi ndi ana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kulumikizana kwa amuna ndi akazi komanso kulumikizana kwa abambo ndi ana. Makhalidwe amenewa, nawonso, asankhidwa bwino mwa anthu, ngakhale kuti ndi ocheperapo kwambiri mwa amuna kuposa akazi - chifukwa kulimba kwa chibadwa chamwamuna kumakwaniritsidwa mosiyanasiyana popanda maubwenzi amenewa.

4. Kugonana Pogonana Kungakhale Kogwirizana ndi Kulumikizana Kwambiri

Monga momwe tavumbulutsira pa zomwe anapeza pa phunziroli mwachidule kumayambiriro kwa positiyi, chikhumbo cha kugwirizana kwa maganizo chingapangidwe mu ubongo wa ubongo ngati akukondana kapena ayi. Taganizirani mawu a anyamata awa:

Sindikonda kukhala ndi chibwenzi ngati sindikudziwa kuti ndimuwona mkazi ali m'moyo wanga kwakanthawi. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikadakhala wowopsa pamapolamu. Ine sindine munthu wodziyimira pausiku umodzi — osangokhala opanda zingwe motero.

Ndikakhala ndi msungwana yemwe ndagonana naye kale, ndimatha kukhala ndi erection nditaima pafupi nawo. Koma ndi mtsikana yemwe sindinakhalepo naye, sindikumva kutsegulidwa. Ndiyenera kugwira ntchito kuti ndikumverera mu mbolo yanga polankhula nawo kapena kuvina nawo.

Malo amakono atha kupangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa ma bonders kuti apeze njira yokhalira okhutira kwamuyaya. Ngati mungafune kulumikizidwa mwakuya komanso kuchepa kwa chiwopsezo cha amuna kapena akazi, ndiye kuti upangiri wodziwika kwambiri masiku ano wonena za maubwino ogonana osagonana komanso zolaula pa intaneti sizingakuchitireni izi. Kuyesera kusintha kumatha kukupangitsani kumva kuti mulibe kanthu, kapena kukupangitsani kukhala osakhutira kapena mavuto oledzera.

Mosasamala kanthu zomwe ena akuchita, fufuzani zomwe zikuwonjezeka lanu kukhala wokhutira. Ngati kuli kotheka, bweretsani ubongo wanu kuti zikhale zachilendo. Lowani kwenikweni okwatirana omwe angathe. Yesani kugogomezera kukhudza kwina ndi chikondi muzomwe mukugwirizana. Zosangalatsa kwambiri? Ngati ndi choncho, mgwirizano ukhoza kukuthandizani kukhala ndi moyo wabwino mwa njira zofunika. Munthu wina anati,

Ine ndi mkazi wanga tonse timamwa mankhwala a kuthamanga kwa magazi. Miyezi ingapo yapitayo, chiwerengero chathu chinayamba kubwera. Ndadula mankhwala anga kwa ¼ ya msinkhu wammbuyo; Doc yake inamuuza kuti akhoza kugwetsa mankhwalawa. Chochititsa chidwi, miyezi ingapo yapitayo ine ndinachulukitsa msinkhu wathu makhalidwe abwino. Ndimupatsa phazi komanso / kapena kubwezeretsa masana usiku uliwonse. Ine ndinatulutsa galu wanga-eared, ndikuwonetseratu kopi ya Mtsinje Woopsa wa Cupid. Inde, pali tsamba 216 lomwe limati: “Kutikita minofu ndi zinthu zina zosamala zimakhudza mahomoni opanikizika ndipo kuthamanga kwa magazi, ”Ngakhale kwa opereka, zikuwoneka.

Mukayesa, mudzaphunzira kuzindikira, kupempha, ndi kupatsa makhalidwe lanu ubongo ukusaka kuti ulembetse kukhutira kokhazikika. Mudzadziwanso makhalidwe omwe muyenera kuwayang'anira omwe mukufuna kukhala nawo. (Ndi zomwe muyenera kukhululukira anzanu akale.) Kuzindikira zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu kumakhudza chisangalalo chanu, thanzi lanu, ndipo mwina mibadwo yotsatira.

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