Uwu ukhoza kukhala utali wautali, ndipo zina zomwe ndikunena zitha kumveka ngati zotsutsana ndi ena mwa mauthenga omwe tapeza kuchokera patsamba lino, koma dziwani kuti zabwino zomwe tsambali lapanga ndizopanga zakuthambo, ndipo mazana masauzande a ife ochokera m'mitundu yosiyanasiyana adathandizidwa kuyambiranso.
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Chenjezo: Zina mwa izi ndi ZOSAVUTA KWAMBIRI NDIPO DONGOSOLO. WERENGANI NDI MALO OYENERA NGATI ENA AMENE MANGAKHUDZEDWE.
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Nanga zidachitika bwanji kwa ine mwachidule? Ndidagwiriridwa ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima ngati mwana (adadzikakamiza pa ine ndikundilakwira nthawi yogona), ndipo izi zidakhudza kudzikhulupirira kwanga kuyambira zaka 5 mtsogolo. Chifukwa choti kudzidalira kwanga komanso malire zidatha, komanso kudali kuzunza kwambiri banja langa, ndidakhala chete, wamanyazi, komanso kudzipatula kwa anthu ena, ndipo ndidakhala mdani wangwiro wa omwe amapezerera anzawo. Chilichonse kuyambira kusala kwachikhalidwe, kucheza ndi anzawo, aphunzitsi ozunza, mpaka kumenyedwa kumene. Kuti zinthu ziziipiraipiratu, sindinapiteko kwa makolo anga ndi izi, chifukwa sindinamvepo kuti nditha kuwafotokozera zinthu ngati izi. Ndiwo malo omwe simunaloledwe kukwiya, kukhala achisoni, ndi zina zotere, kapena simunayamika, kapena 'mulibe ufulu womva choncho', mukudziwa?
Mofulumira patsogolo zaka zochepa kupita ku sekondale, ndipo ndinali munthu wovuta, wamkwiyo, wopanda kumvetsetsa malire. Mwachirengedwe, izi zidabweretsa kukondera kopitilira muyeso, zimangokhala zoyipitsitsa, chifukwa makamaka anali asungwana omwe amanditsutsa, amanditcha 'zoyipa', ndi zina zambiri.
Pansi pamtima, pang'onopang'ono ndinayamba kukayikira komanso kudana ndi anthu komanso atsikana osakwiya, ndipo sindinkadziwa kuti ndimachita izi chifukwa ndimapanikiza komanso kuchepetsa malingaliro anga mwamphamvu. Ndinalumikizana kwambiri ndi ine, ndipo ndinali ndi chidaliro chonse. Ndidali ndi vuto loyipa la Nice Guy entitlement syndrome, ndipo ndidadana kwambiri ndi anyamata olimba mtima omwe ndidawawona ngati osokoneza, omwe adatenga atsikana onse.
Mwachilengedwe, sukulu yasekondale sinali bwino kwambiri. Mwina inali nthawi yovuta kwambiri m'moyo wanga. Apa ndipamene ndinalowa zolaula ndikugwiritsa ntchito ngati kuthawa. Azimayi omwe ali pa zolaula sakanandipweteketsa, ndipo ndimatha kuwaona momwe ndimakondera ndipo ndimatha kuwanyoza momwe ndidawonera zoyenera. Kuphatikiza apo, kunali kupandukira mwankhalwe motsutsana ndi zoyenera za makolo anga okakamira, omwe makamaka adandisiya kuti ndikaume pankhani za maphunziro azakugonana. (Kuti ndikupatseni lingaliro la momwe iwo amakhalira zokhudzana ndi kugonana: simunayankhulepo. Imeneyi inali nkhani yopanda tanthauzo. Ndipo ngati atakupezani ndi china chilichonse ngati buku lachiwerewere kapena chithunzi 'mwasokonekera' kapena 'mwachita zosayenera']. Unabwera ndi mtsikana, umati ungokhala ndi pakati, kugwira ma STD, ndi kuwononga moyo wako chifukwa cha skank uja. '
Ndimatha kupita pa zolaula kwa maola ambiri. Kuyambira pomwe kalasi idamaliza ndimakhala ndikuthamangira kunyumba kuti ndizitha kupeza theka la ola, ndipo maola asanu ndi atatu mpaka khumi atha kudutsa ndisanayime (popeza makolo anga amabwera kunyumba). Zachidziwikire, ndinalibe malo ena ogonana. Ndinkawopa kukhala pachibwenzi, ndipo ngakhale atsikana akamandikonda ine ndilibe vuto. Izi zidachitika kuyambira wazaka za 14-18, ndipo pofika nthawi imeneyi, ndinali wokhumudwa kwambiri, ndipo ndinali ndi malingaliro oyipa okhudzana ndi zakugonana, azimayi, maubale, ndi zina zambiri (molimba mtima, zinthu ngati "Amayi onse akhoza kusinthidwa kukhala amuna wamba "Zinali kuyandama mchikumbumtima changa!).
M'chaka changa chomaliza cha sekondale, ndinali ndi mwayi wokhala pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana yemwe amandikonda kwa zaka zambiri. Sindimatha kupirira naye, ngakhale ndidakopeka naye. Anandipweteketsa mtima, inenso. Ndipo ndinali wovutitsidwa m'lingaliro lakuti kugonana kwathunthu kunali kochulukira nthawi imodzi; Ndinayamba ndisanagone mtsikana kale. Kuphatikizidwa ndi nkhanza (zomwe sindinkakumbukira, ndikukumbukira zomwe zinali), kumbuyo kwa malingaliro anga, ndidayamba kudandaula "Kodi ndikadakhala kuti ndimagonana ndipo sindimadziwa?".
Yunivesite sinali yabwinoko kwambiri. Ndinkakhala ndekha nthawi yambiri, ndikuonera zolaula, kukhala wokwiya komanso wachiwawa, etc.
Nditakhala ndekha komanso ndikakanidwa ndi atsikana ambiri patapita nthawi, komanso mbiri yovuta yovuta yogonana ndi azimayi ochokera ku ED, ndidachitidwa chipongwe ndi amuna amuna ogonana (sindimakhala ndi malire komanso kudziyimba mtima), ndipo zimawoneka ngati kokha Amuna gay adakopeka nane ndipo amandifuna. Ndinali wokhumudwa kwambiri, ndipo ndinangoponyedwa kanthu, ndipo ndinali ndi zonse kuyambira kukaikira kwambiri, mpaka ku mantha. Ndinkawerenga nkhani zokhudza hocd, kukana gay, kutuluka nkhani, ndimapeto kwa maola ambiri, ndipo nthawi zina ndimadzikakamiza kuti ndiziwonera zolaula za gay ndimayesedwe oti "ayang'anire", ngakhale sindinakopeke ndi amuna, kuthupi kapena zina.
Patapita kanthawi, ndinatulukira tsambali ndipo ndinazindikira kuti ndili ndi vuto loonera zolaula, ndipo ndinayesera kuyesetsa kuyesetsabe pa yunivesite yonseyi. Ndi magawo osiyanasiyana opambana, kulephera, ndi zina. Ndimamva kuwawa kwathunthu nthawi yonseyi, ndipo ndidadzida ndekha.
Nayi gawo lowopsa la nkhani yanga, lomwe lidzakuchititsani khungu pamaso panu, kukugwedezani, ndikukuponyani m'chiuno monga momwe lidandipangira ine nditazindikira.
Ndinachitidwanso zachipongwe. Panthawi imeneyi ndimunthu yemwe ndimamuganizira wondiphunzitsa komanso bwenzi langa.
Anali mnzake wapabanja; amalume, kwenikweni. Zidadziwika kuti wakhala akundikongoletsa kwazaka zambiri, kuyambira ndili 12. Sindinadziwe kuti zomwe anali kuchita zinali zopatsa chidwi, chifukwa malire anga anali atawonongedwa kale. Zomwe zimayambira ngati kukambirana zopanda atsikana zokhazokha zomwe zimapangitsa kuti azikhala momasuka, ndemanga za thupi langa, kulimbikitsa kuonera zolaula komanso zolaula ndikupempha kuti awone dick wanga, kufikira atandichitira mwano.
Ndinali ndi zaka makumi awiri ndi chimodzi modzi atandifunsira kuti andigone pakamwa. Pofika nthawi imeneyo, ndinali nditagwedezeka kwambiri, ndinali wokhumudwa kwambiri, wokonzekedwa kwathunthu komanso wokhumudwa, wamanyazi komanso ndikuopa kunena kuti 'ayi', etc, mwakuti ndinayendabe ndi ichi, ngakhale lingaliro lililonse lomwe ndinali nalo linali loti ndizithamangitsa gehena kunyumba . M'maganizo anga, 'ndimayenera kudziwa', kuti nditsimikizire kuti sindinali gay kapena wamkazi. Adandichitira zachiwerewere, ndipo amakhala akundizunza pazaka ZAKA. Kuyenda pang'onopang'ono, mosamala, mosamala, ngati kangaude, kapena woganiza kuti ayesetse chitetezo cha mdani wake asanagunde. Sindinazindikire zomwe anali kuchita mpaka mochedwa.
Zitachitika izi, ndinayamba kumva kuti ndayamba kuzizwa. Ndinkangodziwa zokhazokha pamlingo wambiri womwe anali ndi poizoni m'moyo wanga. Adali m'modzi wa abwenzi anga okha, ndipo ndidamuyang'ana. Helo, ndimamukonda monga momwe ndikanakondera amalume kapena abambo omwe sindinakhalepo nawo. Ndipo zinali zovuta kwambiri kuti pamapeto pake ndimuwone momwe analiri, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti sindinamudziwe bamboyo. Sindikayika chilichonse m'maganizo mwanga kuti iye amazunza anthu ena. (Adazunzidwanso ndi njira). Ndinkadzipatula ndekha, ndinasiya kucheza nawo, ndipo ndinawafotokozera makolo anga chilichonse.
Chaka chamankhwala pambuyo pake, ndipo ndinazindikira kuti zolaula zinali nsonga yokha ya madzi oundana: zinali nkhanza zakugonana, komanso manyazi onena za kugonana kwanga (kuchokera kwa makolo anga, anzanga, kukanidwa ndi atsikana, malingaliro owopsa a akazi, ndi zina) limenelo linali vuto. Zitha kunditengera zaka kuti ndizindikire zonse zomwe ndikadakhala ndikadapanda thandizo.
Tsopano, ndikukuuzani moona mtima kuti anyamata sindinayambitsenso zolaula, chifukwa manyazi, mkwiyo, mantha ndi mavuto ndiubwenzi womwe ndinali nawo ndikuchira pang'onopang'ono, ndipo sindikuwonanso zolaula ngati zovulaza, chizolowezi choipa chomwe chingakupezeni mukachichita mopitirira muyeso (monga kugula, kumwa, ndi zina). Mwakutero, chilimbikitso ndikukakamizidwa kuwonera makanema kulibenso. Ndingakonde kukondana ndi mkazi weniweni, kapena kungogwira dzanja la munthu amene ndimamukonda ndikucheza naye. Ndatha kukhala pachibwenzi chenicheni ndi akazi, ndipo ndakhala ndikugonana bwino, ndikukwaniritsa koyamba pamoyo wanga.
Chifukwa chake khalani ndi chikhulupiriro, pali kutha kumapeto kwa ngalande anzanga. Zikomo kwambiri nonse. Nonse mwakhala othandizira pochiritsa kwanga. Ndikukufunirani zabwino zonse pamaulendo anu, ndipo musazengereze kunditumizira ngati mutakhala ndi mafunso.
Zabwino zonse,
-Kyle B
LINK - Masiku makumi asanu ndi anai ndi Kupitilira: Kuchiritsa kuchokera kuzolowera komanso kuzunzidwa
by kman0300
ZOTHANDIZA KWA OTHANDIZA
1) Yambirani popewa zolaula komanso kusisita, ndikukhulupirira gulu la nofap. Ichi ndiye chiyambi.
2) Dziwani zolaula zilizonse zomwe porn yakupatsani. (Ex: "Amayi nthawi zonse amakakamizidwa kuti agone." Amayi onse amasangalala kuchititsidwa manyazi. "Amayi onse amakhala ndi ziwonetsero." "Ndimayenera kugonana ndi akazi okongola" "Akazi ndi zinthu, osati anthu". Etc ndi zina). Amulembe kuti muwatulutsire m'mutu mwanu ndikuyamba kusintha malingaliro anu.
3) Fotokozani kuti kwenikweni ndi chiyani chomwe chikukudya. Si zolaula ndiye vuto lenileni. Ndi zamanyazi zoopsa zomwe mwina mumamva zokhudzana ndi kugonana, kapena kuopa kukanidwa kapena kukondana, kapena mkwiyo kuchokera ku mabala a ubwana / achinyamata. Simunthu wokonda kuonera zolaula kapena kufuna kugonana. Simunthu wachilendo. Palibe cholakwika ndi inu. Ndiwe munthu wamunthu. Mwapwetekedwa ndipo munayenera kubwereranso ku chinthu china. Ndipo mukangofika pansi pazomva zilizonse zopweteka ndi zomwe munakumana nazo, ndipo mukayamba kuchira, mudzawona kuti chidwi chakuonera zolaula monga momwe zidalili kale chimazirala mpaka simudzatha. samalani ndi zolaula. Ndi china chake chomwe mwasiya. Yambani kukulitsa malingaliro olimbikitsa kugonana.
4) Yambani kusintha moyo wanu weniweni. Kukhala kunyumba wokha kusewera masewera a vidiyo kapena kuonera zolaula sikungakuchitireni nthawi yayitali. Ngati mukufuna zotsatira zosiyana, yambani kusintha momwe mumaganizira, komanso zomwe mumachita tsiku lililonse. Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi. Pitani ndi anzanu. Pitani ku zochitika. Sangalalani! Kumanani ndi anthu! Yesani zinthu zatsopano! Ngati mukuyesera kupita pa zolaula pa zolaula (china chake chomwe mwadalira kuti muthane ndi malingaliro anu ndikubisala kuwawa kwanu) osasintha momwe mumakhalira kapena malingaliro anu, ndiye kuti mupitiliza kudalira zolaula. Ndinu munthu wokhala ndi zosowa zamunthu, monga chikondi, chikondi, kukhutitsidwa ndi zina. Ngati zolaula zitha kukupatsani izi, simumapotozedwa, kuchita zoyipa, kapena zoyipa pakuchita izi. Ndi chinthu chomwe chidakuthandizani kuti mupulumuke. Tsopano ndi nthawi yoti mudzikhululukire nokha ndikusintha moyo wanu, kuti musafunenso.
5) Dzikhululukireni, ndikusintha moyo wanu. Osadzimenya kuti mukuyang'ana chithunzi chamaliseche kapena kuyang'ana kanema mukayambiranso. Ndinu munthu amene simunakwaniritse zosowa zanu, motero zosowa zanu zakwaniritsidwa mwangozi pano. Palibe cholakwika ndi inu. Ndinu membala waanthu, wokhala ndi malingaliro abwino, mphatso, komanso ufulu wachimwemwe. Wina aliyense akanapatsidwa zokumana nazo zanu, akadachita zomwezo.
Mkupita kwa nthawi, muwona kuti vuto lenileni linali lokhudzana ndi kuseweretsa maliseche kwambiri, ndikudziyimba nokha ndikuganiza kuti china chake sichili bwino nonse. Ndi mantha aubwenzi, komanso kumva manyazi ndi zogonana zomwe ndi mdani wanu wowona.
PS: Ndikupangira kwambiri kulumikizana ndi malingaliro anu owona omwe amakupangitsani kuti musangalale, ziribe kanthu kuti angaoneke 'osawoneka bwino bwanji, chifukwa awa amakupatsani zizindikiritso zamphamvu kwambiri zaomwe muli ndi zomwe muli mu. (Werengani gawo la "chikondi chazikulu" ndi a Dan Savage kuti mumve malangizo othandiza pa zakugonana.)
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