tsiku 31 - Ndinayamba kuseweretsa maliseche ndi zolaula pamene ndinali 13 kapena 14. Ndinali kuchita masiku ambiri, ngati si tsiku lililonse. Kenaka pafupi ndi tsiku langa lobadwa la 15th mu July, ndinazindikira kuti sindingathe kukhala ndi erection popanda zolaula. Chifukwa chake chaka chatha ndakhala ndikuyesera mobwerezabwereza kuti ndiyambitsenso, ndikulephera nthawi iliyonse pafupifupi masabata a 2-3. Tsopano ndili mu sabata 5 ndipo ndikadali mu flatline 🙁. Komabe, sindikufuna konse kuonera zolaula kapena kuseweretsa maliseche. Kodi m'mbuyomu ndiyesera kuyambiranso kundithandiza ndi iyi? Ndikhala nthawi yayitali bwanji pa flatline? Ndi sabata yanji yomwe ndingathe kuchita zogonana? Ndipo ndi masabata angati omwe ndingayambitsenso kuyambiranso popeza sindinawone zolaula kwa nthawi yayitali?
tsiku 34 -Izi zikuyamba kundiopsa. Ndinalibe fetus wowonera zolaula (ngakhale mabere akulu ali ngati chinthu changa lol), koma ngakhale ndikadutsa chithunzi chowopsa pa Instagram, kulibe moyo kumeneko. Kodi ili ndi gawo lonyengerera komanso, ndili ndi zisonyezo za HOCD. ZOCHITIKA: Momwe ndikumvera, sindinamvepo bwino. Ndinkakonda kukhala wokhumudwa nthawi zonse, koma tsopano ndimamva bwino nthawi zonse ndipo sindikumbukira tsiku langa lomaliza loipa. Momwe libido yanga imakhudzira, ndimatha kupeza 60-70% molimbika ndi msungwana wokongola patsogolo panga, koma pamalo anga okhazikika (kukhala / kugona). Kuyimirira, kulibe moyo.
Pomaliza, potengera zolimbikitsa, ndimaopa kuonera zolaula. Sindikudziwa momwe anyamata amakhalabe ndi zolimbikitsa atadutsa izi. Sindikufunanso kanema wina ndi mnzake. Kukhala wopota m'mutu mwako komanso wopanda moyo kumunsi uko kumayamwa kwambiri.
tsiku 36 - Patatha mwezi umodzi ndi sabata, sindichoka, koma sindichiritsidwa. Monga ndimatha kudzuka ndikawona atsikana okongola, koma imabwerera pansi ngati mphindi pambuyo pake. Ndikuganiza kuti ndidzachiritsidwa kwathunthu sabata la 8-9. Sindikulimbikitsanso konse. NDIPO, Ndinalota loto lonyowa usiku watha.
Tsiku 38 - Malo otsetserekawa ndi osiyana ndi omaliza. Sizoipa ponena za moyo wopanda moyo, koma zimapereka kumverera kovuta kumene sindingathe kunyalanyaza. Osati zokhazo, koma zimandipangitsa kukhala wopanikizika kwambiri pazomwe ndimayambiranso. Kuyambiranso, sindinaganize kuti zingakhudze moyo wanga, koma zili m'malingaliro mwanga kwenikweni 100% ya nthawiyo. Pakadali pano, ndine wokondwa kuti ndasiya kukonda zolaula. (Pambuyo pake) Ndikuganiza kuti ndinakwiya kwambiri ndipo ndinangokhala ndi tsiku loipa la libido lol. Ndikuganiza kuti ndi chiyambi cha njira yobwezera chifukwa ndayamba kuyankha kwambiri pazinthu monga kukhudza ndikumveka kuposa zowonera. Ichi ndiye chizolowezi choyipa kwambiri. Monga momwe mungasiyire mankhwala osokoneza bongo popewa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, koma simunganyalanyaze mbolo yanu lol. Ndipo mukayesa kusiya, simungadziwe zomwe mukuchita. Sheesh, zinthu zomwe ndikadachita kuti ndibwerereko tsiku lomwe ndidayamba kuwonera zolaula.
Tsiku 43 - Chifukwa chake ndikuganiza kuti bwenzi langa limafuna kugonana. Ndakhala ndikuwopa tsiku lino (id sindinaganize kuti ndikunena izi) kwakanthawi chifukwa sindikufuna kukhala ndi manyazi. Sindili mokhazikika kwathunthu, chifukwa chake ndasokonekera momwemonso momwe izi zingakhalire. Kunyada kwanga kudzawonongedwa popanda kukayika.
Tsiku 49 - Ndikulingalira izi zikutanthauza kuti ndachiritsidwa. Tsopano nditha kuzipeza 100% paliponse, ndikungoganiza za wina. Ndayiwala kuti ndinali ndi akauntiyi mpaka ndikudutsa m'mbiri yanga. Sindinakhalepo pamalopo masiku angapo. Izi sizinali zovuta monga momwe zinalili kale. Ndipo ndidangotenga masabata 7 okha. Lol, zivute zitani ndikhulupilira kuti achinyamata ena atha kudziwa za tsambali.
Sindikuwonanso zolaula ndikudutsanso izi. Koma upangiri, nthawi iliyonse mukafuna kuonera zolaula, ganizirani zomwe yakupatsani. Ndimadana ndi zolaula monga momwe ndimadana ndi khansa tsopano pozindikira kuti yandichotsera mbolo. Ingopitilirani kutengako tsiku ndi tsiku.
NDI - Chinthaka
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