Ndine wokondwa kunena kuti ndikulemba pagulu lazopambana pazomwe ndimakonzanso. Ndatsala miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kuti ndiyambirenso kuyambira Disembala 8. Nditabwereranso kangapo ndili ndi chidaliro kunena kuti zatha kwa ine (ngakhale ndimavutikabe ndi zizindikilo zomwe zidalowa muubongo wanga chifukwa ndimazimva choncho Kutalika).
Koma ndimakumbukirabe zomwe ndinachita posachedwa. Ndimakumbukira momwe ndimamvera. Zinali ngati kumapeto kwenikweni, ndimayang'ana kupyola chisangalalo chomwe ndimayenera kukhala nacho, ndikuwona. Ndidawona momwe zidaliri zachinyengo komanso "zabodza". Nthawi yomweyo ndidawona "chisangalalo" chomwecho ndikuzindikira momwe ndimafunira kusiya malingaliro amenewo kwamuyaya. Ndinali wokonzeka kuyamba kumva zenizeni komanso zomverera zenizeni.Ndine, ndili ndi zinthu zingapo zazikulu zomwe ndikuyesera kufotokoza pamodzi ndi nkhani yanga. Tikukhulupirira izi ndi zomveka kwa aliyense wa inu amene akuwerenga izi:
1) Lekani Kutsimikizira Malangizo, Yambirani Kukwaniritsa Zofunikira
2) Muyenera kukhala oganiza bwino
3) Yamikirani momwe mukumvera, ndipo zindikirani malingaliro a PMO ngati achinyengo.
Ndimafuna kunena za nkhani yanga yopambana, mtundu wa njira zomwe ndidasinthiranso ubongo wanga. Sindikadaganiza zodzalankhula zomwe ndachita miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kenako ndikuyamba kuchira, sindingathe kuganiza kuti ndidziulula kwambiri za vuto langali.
Ndinayamba kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Ndili ndi mamembala olimbirako masewera olimbitsa thupi pafupifupi 2 miles kutali ndi komwe ndimakhala. khulupirirani kapena ayi sindinayambe kugwira ntchito kuti ndithandizire kuchira, ndinangoganiza "kuyesa kusiya" PMO, ndipo ndimafuna kugunda masewera olimbitsa thupi chifukwa ndimangosiya, kuti ndikhale wotanganidwa, ndikungopitilira abwenzi. Ndipo ndinali nditasankha ngakhale kuti "ndimafuna kuti ndichitidwe" zolaula, chifukwa choti ndimadwala komanso kutopa ndi zomwe PMO amabweretsa.
Olimbitsa thupi adamaliza kundichitira zodabwitsa. Zoposa momwe ndimayembekezera ndipo ndikupitilizabe kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi tsiku lililonse! Ndinayamba kugwira ntchito chifukwa PMO idandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wotsika kwa anyamata ena, anzanga, munthu wina aliyense yemwe ndamuwona wokongola kwambiri. Ndimangomva kufooka kwambiri, mwathupi, komanso m'maganizo. Chifukwa chake ndidaganiza ngati ndikulimbitsa mphamvu zanga, ziyenera kuthandizira pomwe? Ndinali wolondola pa izi, koma sindinadziwe kuti kukhala wolimbitsa thupi kungakhale ndi zopindulanso zina zambiri kwa ine… ndipo zinandithandiza kuti pamapeto pake ndione kuchira kwanga mozama. Koma, ndidayamba kugwira ntchito nthawi yopempherera chilimwe, ndidagula loko njinga yamoto pa amazon. Tsiku lomwe linafika apa ndipamene ndinayamba kupalasa njinga kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi. 2 miles ndikubwerera. 3-5 nthawi sabata iliyonse m'nyengo yotentha. Ndinadziwa ngati sindinayambe nthawi yomweyo sindingathe zonse. Tsiku lobweretsa loko njinga yamoto ndi tsiku lomwe ndidayamba kuchira, ndi momwe ndimadziwira pomwe idayang'ana. Juni 4, 2013. Ndipo ndinalowa nawo tsambali patatha masiku 4. Loko $ 12 ndichizindikiro cha kusintha kwambiri komwe ndidapanga m'moyo wanga. HAHA. Ndikudabwa kuti ndi ndani winanso amene ali ndi tanthauzo lamphamvu kumbuyo kwa loko njinga yake.
Ndinayamba kusintha moyo wanga nthawi yachilimwe ikangoyamba. Ndinadziwa kuti ndiyenera kusintha moyo wanga kuti ndibwezeretsere. Ndidayamba kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanga yochuluka ndili pabedi langa ndintchito yanga pakompyuta …… ndikumagwira kanthawi kochepa katatu pamlungu. chifukwa chiyani ndinali ndi chidwi chochitira izi? Sindikudziwa. Ndinayenera kuyambiranso. Tsopano ndinali kuzilingalira mozama. Tsopano ndinali kutenga MOYO WANGA mozama. Sindingathe kuyigwiritsabe ntchito PMO nthawi ina.
Kudziletsa kuchokera ku PMO kwandipatsanso chidaliro changa, koma zimakhala ngati sindinasinthe. (chinthu chapafupi kwambiri chomwe ndingachifanizire ndi kukula kwa zinthu osati kutanthauza). Kukula kukhala kuchira / kuchiritsa.
Ndazindikira kuti padali njira zinayi zokulutsira ubongo wanga. (mkati mwa sitepe 4, ndani akudziwa ngati ndingathe kuthana ndi china chake).
Gawo 1- Pozindikira kuti mumakonda zolaula ndipo mukufuna kuti zisinthe.
Gawo 2- Sindimamvarenso wotsika chifukwa ndinu osokoneza bongo.
Gawo 3- Pozindikira kuti simulinso chidakwa komanso ndinu gawo lofanana.
Gawo 4- Kudzidalira wekha ngati gawo lofanana pagulu.
Zili ngati, pali kusiyana pakati pakudzidalira mukadali PMO'ing, mukuganizabe za INU monga zosiyana kuchokera pagulu, pali zochepa zochepa kuchokera kwa anthu wamba "wamba" kapena "wamba" kunja uko mwa umunthu. Pamutu panga, zinali ngati ndasiya kumva kuti ndiyenera kuchita manyazi nthawi zonse, ndikupita kwa ine ndikumverera ok ndikukhala ocheperako pang'ono kuposa ena onse pagulu, chifukwa mwina sanawonepo zolaula. Koma, zoona, ine ndikukhulupirira kuti ndine wotsika zinali chabe zomwe ndimachita ndekha.
Koma ndikakhala kuti ndili bwino (ndikudzidalira) ndikuledzera PMO, gawo lotsatira ndiye kuti ndiyambe kudziyerekeza ndekha mdziko lenileni, ndikuganiza kuti ndinali nawo. Gawo lina lofanana pamodzi ndi wina aliyense. Ndadutsa gawo 1 pafupifupi miyezi 2-3 mkati. Nthawi imeneyo kwa kanthawi ndimaganiza kuti ndili mfulu kwathunthu. Koma kenako ndinazindikira kuti chidaliro chomwe ndimamva sichinali chidaliro konse. Ndimakhulupirirabe kuti ndiyenera kuchita manyazi kuti ndinali wosiyana, wotsika komanso wonyozeka kwa wina aliyense. Kudzidalira kukhala wotsika sikuli chidaliro chenicheni konse, koma zomwe ndimamva panthawi yopumula ndikuchotsa "kudziona kuti ndine wotsika" kenako gawo lotsatira ndikukhala gawo lofanana la dziko lapansi.
Ndakhala ndikudziwona ndekha ndikusinthasintha pakati pakumva ngati kuti ndikupita patsogolo kwambiri, ndikukokeredwa kumbuyo. Mwachitsanzo, m'miyezi yoyambirira yomwe ndidachira, ndimaganiza kuti ndatha kale. Ndinaganiza kale kuti ndinali ndi chidaliro chonse. koma panthawiyi ndinali nditangotuluka pa zolaula. Koma tsopano inali nthawi yoti ndiyambe kubwerera kudziko lenileni. Ndinkaganizabe kuti ndine wotsika poyerekeza ndi anthu wamba, koma ndinkadzidalira kuti ndine wotsika. Apa ndipamene ndimaganiza kuti ndachiritsidwa kale, chifukwa ndinali ndi chidaliro chokhala wokonda zolaula, womasuka kukhala wotsika kuposa ena ambiri. Koma ndimafunikira kumverera ngati gawo lofanana laanthu, padziko lapansi, osati monga wina aliyense anali wabwinoko kuposa ine. Ndinayenera kudzipangitsa kumva kuti ndili m'malo enieni, osakhala zolaula, lomwe ndi gawo lotsatira.
Pamenepo ndipamene ndidayamba kusinthasintha ndikumva ngati ndikokedwa pansi. Ndidasintha chifukwa ndimamvekera kudziko lenileni; chifukwa chake, komabe, ndinali adaima ndikudziona kuti ndine wotsika, chifukwa ndidazindikira kuti SINDINALI.
Panjira yopita ku gawo 3 ndinali ndalandiranso maubwino ambiri, ngakhale. Sindinachedwe… kumva bwino… ndilo liwu labwino koposa. ichi si chinthu cholakwika, ndikumasula! Palibe chomwe chimandifika mosavuta, ndipo sindikuyesera kunena kuti ndili dzanzi, chomwe ndikutanthauza ndikuti ndikudziwa kudalira kwanga! Sindingaganizenso kuti anthu akutanthauza kuti ndine wonyozeka komanso wosayenera ndi zomwe akunena ndipo ndikuwona molakwika. Izi zimachepetsa nkhawa yanga yambiri. Zili ngati ndili ndi kukana koyenera kuti ndibwererenso kwa aliyense ngati angandinyoze, sindikuopanso kubwerera kunkhondo haha. Ndine wonyada kuti ndidzifotokozere bwino, ndipo sindinamizire ngati ndinamva zomwe wina wanena chifukwa ndimachita manyazi kunena "chiyani".
Ndipo kusowa kwa nkhawa kumandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti palibe amene amaweruza monga ndimaganizira. Ndinali kuchita zonsezi kwa ine ndekha. ZONSE! Ndizopusa!
Ili ndiye gawo lachitatu, pozindikira kuti simulowereranso, simukuchita manyazi, ndikuzindikira kuti ndinu gawo lofanana ndi dziko lenileni. Koma potengera momwe ndimakhalira pa siteji 3, malingaliro anga okhudzana ndi malo anga ofanana padziko lapansi, mawu abwino omwe ndingagwiritse ntchito kufotokoza momwe ndikumvera ndi: FRAGILE. Ndipo izi zitha kundipangitsa kukhala yovuta nthawi zina, mwazinthu zina. ndipo ndizowopsa, ndizowopsa kwenikweni. kulola anthu kulowa m'moyo wanga, ndikudziyerekeza ndekha limodzi nawo onse. ndizowopsa kwambiri. Ndizovuta kwambiri kuti ndisadziderere. ndikosavuta kwambiri kudziyesa kuti ndine wotsika. Ndikosavuta kupeza zomwe zalakwika, kudziyerekeza ndekha kusungulumwa. Ndizosavuta kutero.
Koma ndiyenera kukhulupirira! Ndipo ndikudziwa kuti ndili nayo mphamvu yochita izi! Ndiyenera kukhulupirira kuti ndine "woyenera" mokwanira kuti ndikope azimayi ndikukhulupirira kuti ndidzakhala nawo posachedwa. Ndiyenera kudzikhulupirira ndekha m'njira yabwino. Ndiyenera kutero! ndizodabwitsa, ndizovuta, koma ndiyenera kudzikhulupirira, sindiyeneranso kudzidalira… ngakhale ndizomwe ndikudziwa.
Koma ndikupempha kuti ndiphunzire momwe ndingakhulupirire ndekha komanso tsogolo langa mwanjira yabwino. nthawi iliyonse ndikaleka kuganizira zakuchira kwanga, ndimangobwerera ndikadzichitira manyazi. Ndili ndi njira zazitali zoti ndipange kuti malingaliro anga akhale abwino nthawi zonse. Koma ndikupita kumeneko!
Izi ndizodabwitsa, izi ndizosiyana kwambiri. ndipo ndinanena kuti ndi zoopsa bwanji? Maganizo atsopanowa, kukhulupirira ndekha ndi? Ndipo ngakhale izi zitha kukhala zowopsa, ndili ndi ZERO yofuna kubwereranso zilizonse. Mwinamwake izi ndi momwe zimakhalira kuti mukhale omasuka ku chizolowezi choledzeretsa. Ndikugwirabe ntchito kusintha konse malingaliro anga akale omwe adalimbikitsidwa muubongo wanga. Ndasintha ndikusintha machitidwe anga, komabe ndimatha kuyambitsa kulingalira kwanga kwakale (ndipo mosavuta, inenso ndingathe kuwonjezera). ngakhale, pazifukwa zina ndikuyamba kukhala ndi chiyembekezo chochepa. Ndikudziwa kuti ndiyenera kukhala nawo, apo ayi ndikadakhala kuti ndikuyandikira kumva kuti ... ndafa… komanso wopanda pake. osati malingaliro omwe ndikufuna. Koma ndikutha kumva chiyembekezo chayamba. ndipo chinthu chokhacho cholimba kuposa mantha, ndiye chiyembekezo.
Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndidzapeza chikondi, kupambana, ndikumva bwino ndekha nthawi yonseyi.
Ndiyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro abwino ndikukhulupirira kuti zabwino kwambiri zidzandichitikira mtsogolo. Ndikutenga chizolowezi changa ngati phunziro lomwe landipangitsa kukhala wanzeru, waluntha. Tsopano ndimamvetsetsa zenizeni ndikumvetsetsa kufunika kwake pamoyo wamunthu komanso momwe munthu ayenera kukhalira ndi moyo komanso malo okhala mozungulira omwe ali ofunika kwenikweni. Ndipo tsopano ndikumvetsetsa kusiyanasiyana kwa malingaliro ndi malingaliro omwe ndi ofunika & oona, ndi omwe ali achinyengo, momwe mungawazindikirire (ndi kuzindikira pakati pa awiriwo). zomveka?
Ndipo ndili ndi chikhulupiriro kuti moyo wanga wogonana komanso moyo wabwinobwino ubwerera mwakale, ndipo tsopano ndikupitilira ndi malingaliro otsogola otere kwa ine. ndizodabwitsa momwe ndaphunzirira zonsezi ndili ndi zaka 15 (za nthawi yomwe anthu ambiri pano anali kuyamba kuchita maliseche). Koma ndakhala PMO'ing kuyambira zaka 13. Nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndidachita maliseche ndikuwonetsa zolaula kwambiri. Ndidayamba patsiku lokumbukira kubadwa kwanga kwa zaka 13, ndipo ndidaganiza zodzipereka kusiya miyezi ingapo isanakwane 15, wobadwa mu Ogasiti. Zitha kumveka ngati kanthawi kochepa, koma zidakula mofulumira kwambiri kwa ine.
Pokhala 15, ndakhala ndi mwayi wokhala ndi atsikana angapo, monga ndidanenera poyamba, koma nthawi zonse ndimalola kuti zolaula zomwe zimandipangitsa kuti ndizilankhula bwino. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi ina ndimayenda ndi mnzanga ngati pakati pausiku, ndipo msungwana uyu adabwera pafupi ndi ine ndipo anali ngati "ndikukufuna" ndipo adayamba kunditsata, kuzunguliza tsitsi lake, ndikuyesera kulankhula naye ine (Amawonekeranso kuti sadzisokoneza!) Koma ndidapezabe njira yochokeramo, ngakhale ndimaganiza kuti akutentha kwambiri. Ndinali wamantha kwambiri, wamanjenje kwambiri. Ndikayang'ana m'mbuyo ndimamva ngati ndikadapanda kutero. Mulungu, nthawi zina ndimangolakalaka nditakhala ndi makina akanthawi. Ndipo ngati izi zikanachitika kwa ine tsopano, BAM! Ine ndikanakhala ndiri mmenemo. haha
Koma sindiyenera kuganizira zakale. Ndiyenera kuyang'ana mtsogolo.
Popeza ndaphunzira zochuluka kuchokera ku kuzolowera, ndimayamikira mwanjira. Ndikuvomereza kuti ndinayamba kusuta. Ndatulukira tsidya lina, wanzeru kwambiri; Ndikuganiza kuti izi zimandipangitsa kukhala wanzeru kwambiri kuposa joe wanu wapakati. Mwinanso atsikana azindikire ndipo monga mbali yozama iyi kwa ine!
Zosavutanso!
Tsopano pamene ndikuyesera, tsopano kuti ndiganiza kumwetulira nthawi iliyonse yomwe ndimakhala pansi mwakachetechete, ndikukhumudwa, ndalandira chidwi chochuluka kuchokera kwa atsikana kuposa kale lonse. Ndipo ndizosavuta! Tsopano ndikulandira kuti ndiwone akusewera ndi ine, chifukwa ndimadzimva "woyenera" tsopano. Ndipo ndizosavuta kuchita, ndimangomwetulira nthawi iliyonse ndikamva kukhala wosasangalala. Ndipo zimagwira ntchito. Sindinachitepo kanthu pano, koma ndine WAAAAYYY bwino polankhula ndikuwakopa kuposa momwe ndimakhalira kanthawi kapitako. Ndipo sizovuta ngakhale nkomwe! Ndikungokhala ndi nthawi yabwino! Ndipo akakukana, tisekeni! Muli ndi mipira yochulukirapo kuposa kunena 75-80% ya anyamata ena ngati mungoyesa kumenya mtsikana wotentha, kaya ndizosavuta kapena ayi. Ngati akukanidwa, seka, ndiye kuti nthawi zonse pamakhala wina amene angayankhe kuti inde. Kwenikweni, ndaphunzira kuti kumwetulira ndichinsinsi. Kukhala wokondwa ndichinsinsi chonyamulira anapiye… ndikutanthauza kwa ine, koma taganizani za izi, ngati mtsikana angayankhe kuti "Inde" kwa mnyamata yemwe akumwetulira ndikupanga nthabwala; osati munthu yemwe wakhala pamenepo mwakachetechete osayang'ana / kukwiyitsa pankhope pake. Chimwemwe chidzakopa akaziwo. Ndakhala ndikungoyimba kumene angapo posachedwa. Kumwetulira kumangogwira ntchito! Ndayankhula ndikuwakopa kwambiri chaka chino kuposa kale lonse. Ndayamba kuyamikiridwa ndi atsikana ambiri. Amatchedwa sooo wabwino, wokoma, komanso wokongola kangapo. (kodi ichi ndi chiyamikiro?) haha. Ndikutanthauza kuti sindine munthu wodzidalira kwambiri yemwe amaganiza kuti ali bwino kuposa anyamata ena onse, koma ndili ndi chidaliro chokwanira ndipo ndine munthu wabwino kwambiri. Koma mwachiwonekere ndili ndi nkhope yabwino ngakhale haha. Ndikutanthauza kuti si atsikana onse amene amakonda mwana wabwino, wokongola. Koma ndili ndi chiyembekezo kuti zambiri zichitika! zikuyenda bwino kwambiri!
Osayesa kukhumudwitsa aliyense wa inu kunja uko. Simudziwa kuti ndinali wamanyazi bwanji / wokhumudwa / wowoneka wachisoni / wodekha / wosadzidalira kwambiri, ngakhale kalekale. Ndimamva ngati ndikhala ndekha moyo wanga wonse, ndikuyang'ana zaka 5-10 panjira yolakwika. Ndipo ndasintha kwambiri, ndakhala wokondwa kwambiri kuposa onse omwe ndakhalapo, ndinali ndi chidaliro chachikulu chomwe ndidakhalapo pakati pa azimayi, osatchula kupita komwe ndidakhalako, pamphepete mwa kupita kutali…. patangodutsa miyezi 6 mutaganizira molakwika. Ndipo zidzasintha kuchokera pano! Ndazindikira kuti kumangomwetulira nthawi iliyonse yomwe ndikadakhala kuti ndimangokhala phee, ndikadali wosuta, ndiye chinsinsi changa.
Ndakhwima kwambiri m'miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayi, ndipo ndili ndi malingaliro ambiri. Cholinga changa choyambirira chinali choti ndikangochezera ndi anzanga ndikuwonetsa kuti atsikana andiwona kuti ndasandulika kukhala munthu watsopano, wobwezerezedwanso yemwe ndidakhala chilimwe. Ngakhale ndakula ndikukhazikitsa zolinga zofunika kwambiri, ndidakwaniritsadi cholinga choyambirira, ngakhale sindine wocheperako kotero kuti ndikuganiza kuti ndizofunikira, kungoyesera kuwatsimikizira kuti ndinali bwino. Icho sichinali cholinga chokwaniritsira kwenikweni, kungoti ndi mfundo yotsimikizira. Ndipo ndaphunzira kuti moyo sindiwo kutsimikizira mfundo kwa anthu ena (kapena kwa inu nokha), koma kukhala ndi zolinga, ndikulimbikira kuchita zabwino, kuzitsatira POMPANO ndi zonse zomwe muli nazo. Simungadikire kufikira pagawo lina la PMO. Simuyenera kudikirira mpaka mutakhala "X" kuchuluka kwa masiku kuti muyambe kuchira kapena zina zotere (zomwe ndidachita kumayambiriro kwa kuchira kwanga). Sizabwino kuganiza kuti 'moyo womwe ndikufuna kukhala nawo udzakhalako mtsogolo'. Ayi. Awa ndi malangizo anga abwino kwambiri. Malingaliro amtunduwu samangokhala athanzi, koma sizowona. Muyenera kukhazikitsa malingaliro abwino pakalipano, ndipo yesetsani kuchita zomwe mukufuna kukwaniritsa. Ine, ndikukhalabe 15 yekha, ine ndipo palibe msinkhu wanga ali ndi lingaliro lazomwe akufuna kuchita ndi miyoyo yawo. Izi zati, komabe, ndimayesetsabe kukwaniritsa zofunika ndikutsutsa zolinga zabwino. Ndipo kwa ine, izi zikugwira ntchito ndikulimba, thupi labwino. Ndipo ndizokwanira kuti ndikhale wosangalala pakadali pano.
Sindikufunikiranso kutsimikizira chilichonse kwa ine, ndatha kuyesa kutsimikizira mfundo. Ndazindikira kuti mfundo zomwe ndimayesa kutsimikizira kwa anthu ena zinali chabe zomwe ndimayesera kuti nditsimikizire ndekha. Ndimakonda kutenga zinthu zomwe anthu ena anena, ndikupeza njira yoganizira kuti akundinyoza chifukwa cha zomwe ndimamva kale. ndazindikira kuti ndimadzipangira ndekha. Ndipo ndikuzindikira kopusa. Sindiyenera kuchita chilichonse. mwamtheradi palibe kunja uko. Palibe zolakwika zilizonse kunja kuno zomwe anthu andipangira zomwe ndiyenera kutsatira. Ndipo palibe chilichonse chomwe ndadziikira ndekha.
Ndipo zimandisangalatsa kwambiri.
Zimandipangitsa kukhala wosangalala, wokhutira. Ndimalola moyo, ndimalola zomwe zidandichitikira, zomwe ndidakumana nazo, ndavomereza zomwe ndidakumana nazo ndikuvomereza komwe ndili pano. M'malo mwake, ndimayamikira kuledzera, ndinali wolimba mokwanira kuti ndizindikire kuti chinali chopinga. Ndipo ndazindikira kale kuti chopinga sichingakhale chofunikira. Ndadutsa kuledzera. Ndipo tsopano ndiri wokonzeka kuzisiya.
Sindikuwona kufunikira kodzichititsa manyazi panonso. Ndine wokhutira. Ndatsegulidwa, ndimatulutsidwa…. omasuka. Ndili ndi ufulu kukhala wonyada, wokondwa, komanso wamtendere wamkati. Ndipo ine potsiriza ndikuzindikira izo. Ndine mfulu inu anyamata. . . Ndine womasuka.
Zikomo chifukwa chowerenga, ndikhulupilira kuti anyamata anu mumakonda kuwerenga izi. Ndikukhulupirira kuti idakudimbikitsani kapena kukupatsani chilimbikitso kuti mupitirize Kukula patsogolo.
Omasuka kupereka malingaliro anu.
Zikomonso!
LINK - 15 Zaka Old- 6 miyezi ikukonzanso. Lekani Kutsimikizira Malangizo, Kukwaniritsa Zolinga Zanu!
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