Moni nonse! Lero tsopano ndafika pachimake chachikulu masiku 90. Ndakhala ndikuchita izi kwa zaka 4.5 tsopano. Ndimaganiza kuti ndigawana zinthu zomwe zandithandiza komanso malingaliro ena. Gawo loyamba la ulusiwu ndi lokhudza nkhani yaulendo wanga yomwe mungawerenge ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe ndidayendera. Gawo lachiwiri limangokhudza "maluso". Zomwe zidandigwirira ntchito.
Gawo Loyamba: Ulendo wanga
Background
Kuyambira ndili mwana ndimakonda kusewera masewera apakompyuta, zomwe zidandipangitsa kudzipatula ndikucheza ndi anzanga munthawi yovuta kwambiri yakukula. Izi zidadzetsa nkhawa zambiri komanso manyazi ndili mwana, zomwe zidandipangitsa kuti ndizisewera kwambiri. Pakati pa zaka 12 ndinali ndi zolaula komanso maliseche, ndinadzuka kumapeto kwa sabata kuti ndiyese "zosangalatsa" zanga. Mafupipafupiwo adakwera mwachangu 'katatu patsiku.
Nthawi yomwe ndimakhala ndikuchita masewera a masewera komanso ndikungokhala m'malo olimbana ndi zisangalalo zotsogola zimandithandizira kuti ndisathe kuyang'ana pamaso. Ndinalankhula zosapindulitsa. Chizolowezi choyipa chosayenda komanso kudya kwambiri idandipatsa mafuta, zomwe zidawonjezera pazovuta zanga.
Kuyamba kwaulendo wanga
Ndili ndi zaka 14 ndidakopeka ndi msungwana woyamba "wamkulu" pa kalasi. Ndinkafuna kukhala naye paubwenzi koma ndinazindikira mwachangu kuti maluso anga olakwika sangatenge uthenga wanga kuti uzikhala bwino. Popeza sindinadziwe momwe tingalankhulire moyenera malangizo omwe angawongolere luso lanu pagulu. Zomwe ndidayamba kuchita zinali zofananira ndi mtundu wina wamankhwala wodziyang'anira wokha. Ndinayamba kudzitsutsa pang'onopang'ono. Popita nthawi ndidawonjezera zovuta pazantchitozo. Woyamba amangoyang'ana maso a anthu ena, ndikuwonjezera nthawi yomwe timagwira. Pambuyo pake ndinayamba kupatsa moni osunga ndalama asanandilonjere, zomwe zinali zolimbitsa thupi pophunzira kuyankhula.
Pamapeto pake sindinapeze msungwanayo, pamapeto pake ndidamveketsa zolinga zanga pomutumizira moni wa tsiku la valentines, womwe sunabwezeredwe. Ndinayesanso kangapo pambuyo pake, koma sizinathandize. Ndikudziyang'ana ndekha pa nthawiyo sindingathe kuchita china chilichonse koma kungodandaula.
Nthawi yopuma yomwe ndidakwanitsa zaka 15, ndidapeza gulu la NoFap. Ndinawerenga zokumana nazo za anthu ena ndipo zonsezi zinali zomveka kwa ine. Nditha kuwona zoyipa ndi zizolowezi mwa ine zomwe panthawiyo ndimapereka ulemu kwa iwo.
Mizere yanga sinapange masiku 20 ndi masiku ochulukirapo komanso omasulira a NoFap. Komabe, ndimapitilizabe kudziyesa ndikupitiliza kukulitsa malo anga abwino ndipo ndidachita zambiri pakuphunzira kusasamala zomwe anthu ena amaganiza za ine. Chidaliro changa chidakulirakulirabe ndipo kuthekera kwanga polankhula kudasintha kwambiri. Chifukwa chofuna kwanga kwa NoFap komanso kutenga nawo gawo pa subreddit ndinayamba chidwi ndi psychology ndi biology. Tithokoze anthu am'derali ndimawerenga zambiri pamitu ndikuphunzira za moyo zomwe mwina sindikadakhala nazo.
Kuzindikira china chomwe chikufunika kukonzanso
Kenako ndidakwanitsa zaka 16 ndipo sukulu yaku Sweden yofanana ndi sekondale idayamba. Ndinapitilizabe kuwerenga zakukula / kusintha kwaumwini, psychology ndi mitundu yonse yamaphunziro. Nditayamba NoFap ndinazindikira kuti ndinali wokonda PMO. Ndinali ndisanazindikire kuti ndimakonda kusewera, koma ndidachita "kusekondale" ndipo pomwe ndimangowerenga zamitundu yonse ndikuwonetsetsa ndekha ndikuzindikira mochulukira za zizolowezi zoyipa zomwe ndidakhala nazo. Ndinayamba kuyesa kukonza zolakwa zanga koma sindinathe. Ndinayesetsa, koma monga akunena "musagwire ntchito molimbika, gwirani ntchito mwanzeru (ndi molimbika)".
Moyo umangoyendabe ndipo nthawi inali ikuyenda mongofikira. Ndinapitilizabe kusintha ndikuchita ndekha, kupita patsogolo kunali pang'onopang'ono, koma popitilira ndimatha kuyang'ana mmbuyo ndikuwona momwe ndikusinthira. Monga mukudziwa kuti moyo ndi wovuta kwambiri ndipo munthu aliyense amakhala ndi zokumana nazo zambiri. Zambiri zachitika kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba ulendo wanga. Sindingathe kulemba za chilichonse chifukwa ndizochuluka kwambiri. Koma ndiposachedwa pomwe ndasintha kwambiri m'moyo wanga.
Njira zaposachedwa komanso njira zofananira
Tsopano ndili ndi zaka 18, ndili ndi zaka 19. M'miyezi ingapo yapitayi ndidasintha zinthu. Ndinazindikira lomwe linali vuto kwa ine komanso kubwereranso pafupipafupi popewa PMO ndi masewera anali. Ndinkangokhalira kuganizira zosintha zonse mwakamodzi, ndinali wofunitsitsa kwambiri ndipo ndinkadziwonjezera, zomwe zidathetsa mphamvu zanga zomwe zidandibwezera. Nthawi ino ndidadziyankhulira ndekha kuti "tengani zinthu pang'onopang'ono, chinthu chimodzi chaching'ono panthawi". Zikuwoneka ngati zotsutsana, koma zidandigwirira ntchito pomwe zina zonse zidalephera.
Ndinkadziwa zamakhalidwe azakudya komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, koma sindinayambe chizolowezi chokhazikika chifukwa cha zomwe ndanena kale. Koma nthawi ino ndinangonena ndekha kuti "ndibwino kuti muzisewera ndikusewera ndikukhala waulesi, koma chilichonse chomwe ndichita, ndiyenera kukhala pansi pa zopatsa mphamvu tsiku lililonse". Tsopano, sindinadye masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena sindinathe, ndinangotsimikiza kuti zinali bwino kutero.
Ndinayamba popanda choperewera, ngakhale ndinali wofunitsitsa kuwonjezera. Ndinangowerenga ma calories anga ndikuonetsetsa kuti ndisadye kwambiri. Pambuyo pa masabata angapo ndidawonjezera kuchepera pang'ono ndipo ndidakwanitsa kupitilirabe. Patatha milungu ingapo ndinapitiliza kukulitsa kuchepa. Kenako nditazengereza kugula gawo lochita masewera olimbitsa thupi kwa miyezi ingapo ndinangopitilira, popeza sizinamveke ngati gawo lalikulu monga kale. Patatha sabata ndidayamba kusiya masewera. Nthawi zambiri ndikadachotsa masewerawa, koma nthawi ino ndimalola kuti akhale. Patadutsa sabata ndidayamba zomwe zingakhale NoFap streak iyi. Ndinali ndi zolaula zomwe ndimasunga pafoni yanga, koma chimodzimodzi ndimasewera pa pc yanga ndimangolekerera.
Patatha milungu ingapo ndidapitilira zolaula. Masiku anali kupita, ndimachita maphunziro anga kusukulu koma chifukwa choti ndinkakhala ndekha panyumba ndinayamba kucheza ndi anzanga. Nthawi yomwe ndimakhala ku malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi idakwera ndipo sindinatope. Ndinayamba kuthera nthawi yambiri ndikunyengerera subreddit pomwe ndidayamba kudzimva kukhala wachinyamata komanso "wokonzeka" kukhala mtsikana. Ndinayamba kuwerenga zambiri zaukadaulo, womwe udandipindulitsa kwambiri chifukwa ndidayamba kugwiritsa ntchito mfundo zanga m'moyo wanga wonse.
Zina zomwe zimafunikira kutchulidwa koma zomwe zidachitika pang'onopang'ono miyezi yambiri izi zisanachitike, ndidayamba kukonza mawonekedwe anga. Nthawi zonse ndimadzimva kuti ndine wonyozeka, koma pang'onopang'ono ndinayamba kuvala bwino. Izi zinandipangitsa kumva bwino, zomwe zinapangitsa kuti ndisamadziderere. Kenako ndinapita kwa wowongoletsa tsitsi ndikuwasiya kuti akonze tsitsi langa. Ndinali ndisanasamalire tsitsi langa ndipo ndinangolidulira lalifupi, koma nthawi iyi ndinakhala ndi tsitsi labwino ndipo ndinayamba kulikonza tsiku ndi tsiku. Pakapita kanthawi zimamveka kuti sizachilendo kupita popanda kukonza tsitsi langa.
Kupambana, pomaliza!
Tsopano ku china chake chomwe chidachitika sabata yatha, ngati mtundu wina pachimake paulendo wanga waposachedwa wa 4.
Tawuni yanga imakonza zokonza masukulu onse m'bomalo. Ndikupita nawo limodzi ndi mnzanga wina mkalasi. Pokonzekera kuvina kokondwerera sukulu yathu imakonza maphunziro ovina. Lolemba sabata yatha tsiku langa la prom silinathe kufika pamsonkhanowu, choncho ndinapita ndekha. Tinkayenera kuti tiziphatika, choncho ndinapita kwa mtsikana yemwe analinso yekhayekha pagawolo. Zinayenda bwino kwambiri, tidaphatikizana pa instagram. Patatha tsiku limodzi ndimamuwonjezera pa snapchat ndipo timangochezabe. Tidagwirizana zokumana Lachisanu sabata yatha, zomwe tidachita. Tidawonera kanema kunyumba kwake ndipo tinkakambirana za zomwe nthawi zonse pamapeto pake ndisanachoke ndinapita kukapsompsona. ZINALI ZOFUNIKA KUCHITIKA! Zitha kuwoneka ngati zochepa koma zinali zazikulu kwa ine chifukwa chinali kupsompsona kwanga koyamba. Zimamva bwino chifukwa zidafika pachimake kuchokera paulendo wanga komanso kuyesetsa konse komwe ndakhala ndikudziwongolera pazaka 4 zapitazi.
Dzulo tinagwirizana kuti tidzakumananso ndikupita kukaonera ziwonetsero zamoto zam'deralo, ndichikhalidwe cha 1 Meyi. Tidawonera chiwonetserochi, ndidakumana ndi azinzake ndipo tidadya limodzi. Pambuyo pake tinabwerera kunyumba kwake, ndipo ndisananyamuke ndinapitanso kukapsompsona. Tsopano ndili mdera losadziwika ndipo ndimangopita ndi zomwe zimawoneka ngati zabwino, zonse ndi mwayi wophunzirira kwa ine.
Sindinamvepo wokhutira monga momwe ndikuchitira tsopano. Kumbukirani kuti zonse zimawonjezera. Ndaphunzira kuti ndisakhazikitse chisangalalo changa pazochitika zakunja, koma monga kuphatikiza kwamkati ndi zochitika zakunja.
Gawo Lachiwiri: Njira ndi upangiri wamba
- Werengani ndikuwerenga momwe ma bongo anu amagwirira ntchito, izi zikuthandizani kuti mumvetsetse chifukwa chomwe mumachitira zinthu ndi zomwe mumachita poyerekeza ndi zomwe mumakonda. Izi zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta pamene mupeza mwayi wothandizira machitidwe olakwika amtsogolo. Zimathandizanso kuti mumvetsetse.
- Tengani Kwambiri masitepe ang'onoang'ono. Mudzalimbikitsidwa kuti musinthe ndikufunitsitsa kuchita zonse nthawi imodzi. Mukatero mudzakhala pachiwopsezo chodzikulitsa, chomwe chimakupatsani mphamvu ndipo chimakuthandizani kuti mubwererenso mobwerezabwereza.
- Osadzimenya nokha chifukwa chobwereranso kapena zolephera zina. Dziwani kuti ndibwino kulephera ndikungopitilira, pitilizani. Mukamadzipweteka mumadzimvera chisoni kwambiri. Izi zimathetsa mphamvu zanu.
- Sinthani zizolowezi zoipa ndi zizolowezi zabwino. Mukangosiya chizolowezi chimodzi osangochisintha, mudzayambiranso kapena mungadzasinthe ndi zinthu zina zoipa.
- Ganizirani tsiku limodzi panthawi. Osalingalira za msewu, ndi wautali komanso wovuta womwe mudzaphunzire popita nthawi. Kuganizira za msewu womwe ukupite sikungakuthandizeni mulimonse, kungokuwonongerani mphamvu ndikukufooketsani.
- Osadziyerekeza nokha. Izi sizikukwaniritsa chilichonse, zimangokupangitsani kukhumudwa kapena kukupatsani ma hubris, omwe ndi oyipa mwanjira iliyonse. Pamapeto pake ndizabwino kudziyerekeza nokha ndi momwe mudaliri poyamba pomwe mumachita zofanana.
- Khalani ndi cholinga chamtsogolo. Ganizirani momwe mukufuna kukhalira mtsogolo. Izi zikulimbikitsani ndikukupatsani chiwongolero chazonse. Ngati mukuyenda popanda kopita kapena komwe mungapite, muziyenda msewu wosavuta komanso wabwino womwe umatsogolera ku "kuwonongeka" kwanu.
- Lekani kusamala zomwe gulu lalikulu limakuganizirani. Izi sizikuthandizani mwanjira iliyonse kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu. Mwachidziwikire, pali zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kusamalira, koma ndizodziwikiratu.
- Pangani malingaliro oti "Nditha kuthana ndi chilichonse". Tonsefe tikudziwa kuti SITINGATHE kuthetsa zonse, koma kukhala ndi malingaliro otere ndi kwamphamvu kwambiri chifukwa kumakupatsani chidaliro pakakhala kusatsimikizika. Kungoganiza choncho kungapusitse ubongo wanu, kumachepetsa kapena kungochepetsa zomwe mumachita mukapanikizika. Ganizirani za zoopsa zilizonse zomwe zingakutsutseni, koma m'malo mongoganiza kuti mudzalephera ingoganizirani kuti MUDZAYANKHA mwanjira ina (ngakhale mutakhala kuti muli ndi vuto). Zachidziwikire kuti mumadziwa malire anu kuti musadziike nokha pazosafunikira momwe mudzafere. Zonse ndizokhudza MENTALITY, osati CHOONADI.
- Onani ZONSE ZONSE ngati zokumana nazo zophunzirira, chifukwa zilipo. Izi zimachotsa kusala kwina, zomwe zimakupangitsani kuti musachite mantha. Ikuthandizaninso kuyesa zinthu zatsopano chifukwa zidzakuphunzirani maphunziro omwe angakhale othandiza.
- Pang'onopang'ono muziyamba kuvala bwino, osasintha kalembedwe kanu usiku. Ngati mungasinthe pang'onopang'ono zimamveka zachilengedwe ndipo mumayamba kumva bwino. Kumva bwino kumakupatsani mwayi wochepa wofunafuna PMO kuti mudzikwaniritse.
Pali zambiri zoti zizinenedwe, koma panthawiyi sindingathe kukumbukira zonse. Mutha kufunsa za zomwe ndidzayese kuthandiza.
TL; DR: "Wotayika" amakopeka, amazindikira kubwera kwakanthawi kochepa, amadzikongoletsa kenako ndikupsompsonana. Tikukhulupirira kuti amakhala mosangalala nthawi zonse.
LINK - Mawonekedwe a Tsiku 90, nkhani yopambana
by Kumakumakuma
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