Hei anyamata, aka ndi koyamba kuti ndikuuzeni za kuyambiranso, ngakhale sinali nthawi yanga yoyamba kuyesera pa noFap.
Mwachidule akhala 3 mwezi watha kuyambira nditayambiranso kuyambiranso. Ndinapumulanso patatha mwezi umodzi wouma. Zinali motalikirapo kudutsa m'chipululu, ndipo nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndimaganiza kuti ndiwone malo osungirako, nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndimazindikira kupita patsogolo kwanga, ndimapanga koyamba, kenako MO'ed, ndinayima masabata angapo, kenako PMO'ed. (Ndilongosola pambuyo pake). Dzulo pakhala milungu itatu kuyambira MO wanga womaliza, lero ndimalakwitsa ndikuganiza zogawana ulendo wanga nanu anyamata ndipo muchite pakadali pano, chifukwa LERO ndiye tsiku labwino kusiya!
Ndili ndi zaka 18 ndipo ndakhala ndikuchita chizolowezi kwa zaka 5, ndimawonera zolaula kangapo patsiku, ndikumangika, zinthu zonse. Chaka chomwe ndidatembenukira 16 ndidakondana koyamba. Yakhala nthawi yabwino kwambiri chifukwa choti onse amagwiritsa ntchito pomwe pali zolumikizana. Anali ndi nthabwala kwambiri ndipo anali wowoneka bwino kwambiri, kotero patatha miyezi ingapo zomwe tinali nazo zokhudzana ndi kugonana zinali zovuta komanso zokwaniritsa. Sindikufuna kulankhula zaubale kwambiri, kungonena kuti pakhala pali zovuta komanso zogonana m'moyo wanga, osanena kuti sindinakhalepo nthawi yomwe tinali limodzi.
Tidathetsa banja chifukwa adasamukira kudziko lina kwa chaka chimodzi, ndidakhumudwa. Sindinadziwe zoyenera kuchita m'moyo wanga, nkhawa zimayambiranso ndipo ndinayambanso kuonera zolaula. Pambuyo pakupita kanthawi ndinakumana ndi mtsikana wina, yemwe poyamba ndimamugwiritsa ntchito kuti andichotse m'mavuto anga okhumudwa. Simungayerekeze chibwenzicho ndi changa choyamba komanso zogonana zomwe zimasowa mwadzidzidzi. Anandiuza kuti sanabwereko nthawi yogonana, kuphatikiza pa kusowa kwa zokongola zenizeni ndinadzipangitsa kuti ndizisangalatsa. Sizinagwire ntchito kuyambira pachiyambi ndipo chifukwa cha machitidwe anga ofooka nthawi iliyonse yomwe timagonana, ndidayamba kukayikira zamomwe ndimagonana.
Ndi zinthu zomwe ndikudziwa za HOCD tsopano chifukwa cha nthawi yomwe ndimakhala ku YBOP ndimatha kuwuza omwe adakhala m'mbuyomu kuti adekha, kusiya zolaula, mwina kusiya chibwenzi chabodza, chifukwa mutha kulingalira zomwe zinachitika:
Ndidayamba kuchita zoseweretsa malodza tsiku lililonse kangapo ndikuyang'ana maukwati anga, ndikudzikhutiritsa kuti sindinatembenukire gay mwadzidzidzi, ndimaganizo: "O, bwanji ine, nthawi zonse ndimakonda atsikana, WTF, izi sizingakhale zoona". Chifukwa cha nkhawa mwezi wathunthu ndidapanga mtundu wa HOCD wosasintha, ndikupangitsa kuti ndizifunsa zokhudzana ndi kugonana kwanga, nthawi zonse, ndikamayang'ana atsikana ndi anyamata kusukulu, kuwunika - maliseche - nkhawa. Kunali kozunguza kowopsa komwe kumayendera ndi ubongo wanga kumabweretsa malingaliro amphamvu komanso opatsa chidwi kwa ogonana komanso kuwopa kusintha nthawi iliyonse ndikamva mawu oti "gay".
Koma zonsezo sizinasokere - ndimadziwa nthawi zonse, koma munthawi imeneyi sindinathe kufotokoza izi, ndipo sindinadziwe zoyenera kuchita, chifukwa chake maliseche a 24 / 7 zolaula zolaula zimawoneka ngati zikundiyang'anira .
Iyi inali nthawi yomwe ndimapunthwa pa YBOP. Ndinawonera makanema onse ndikuwerenga zonse zomwe zatulutsidwa pa ED. Poyamba sindinakhutire chifukwa nkhani za anthu ena sizinali zofanana ndi zanga, koma kuwerenga momwe ubongo umalumikizirana ndi mbolo yanga, zonse zamaganizidwe ndi zithupi za kuziziritsa kwa zinthu ndi zinthu zotere, ndimazindikira kuti zolaula zimalumikizidwa ndikukula kwanga kwachilendo ndipo ndidasankha kusiya nthawi yomweyo. Ndinauza bwenzi langa za malingaliro anga pa zankhondo zathu zomwe zayamba kugona ndipo anali ndi vuto lililonse. Ndatseka mawebusayiti onse oletsedwa mu msakatuli wanga ndi intaneti. Ndinayamba kuchita masewera komanso kuphunzira kusukulu. Pambuyo pa masabata awiri oyambilira ndinali ndimavuto komanso ndimagonedwe osagonana ndi bwenzi langa akuwoneka kuti akumasukitsa nkhawa zomwe tidatipatsa.
Kenako ndinawerenga za HOCD ndipo inali epiphany. Zinali ngati winawake wayimirira kumbuyo kwanga nthawi zonse akulemba za momwe ndimakhalira, malingaliro anga ndi zizolowezi zanga. Zinthu zodabwitsa zonse zomwe zimandichitikira mwadzidzidzi zidamveka ndipo ndidalimbikitsidwa kupitiliza ulendo wanga. Cholinga changa chinali pafupifupi miyezi iwiri. Pomwe ndidali masana 40 ndidagonana ndipo zidali bwino kuposa momwe ndimaganizira. Ndinali wodekha komanso woukitsidwa ndipo ndikuyang'ana m'mbuyo pazinthu zonse zomwe zidasinthika pakadali pano, (malingaliro, nkhawa, chidwi, chisangalalo chogonana) Ine ndimaganiza kuti zidachitika. Ndikuganiza kuti vuto lalikulu lidakhala kusanyalanyaza zomwe ndidalemba masiku omwe ndimakhala makalendala yanga. Zotsatira zake kuti sindimasunga zinthu zoyambira kuyambiranso, ndinayesa kuwerengera masiku ndi momwe zimakhalira pakubwezeretsa kulikonse kuli masiku ano komanso masiku amenewo.
Ngati mukuganiza kuti mwatha, makamaka mukakhala ndi HOCD, chitaninso mwezi wina! - Prostate yanu iphulika ngati mutero! … Ndikulonjeza!
Ndikuganiza kuti ndikadakwanitsa miyezi itatu, mwina zikadakhala momwe zakhalira, osaganizira za kuyambiranso ndipo moyo wanu umayenda m'njira yoyenera, koma ubongo wanga sunali wolingana ndi zolaula, kapena kuchokera ku HOCD. Chifukwa chake tsiku limodzi la masiku amenewo lidabwera ndipo ndinali ndi vuto lodziseweretsa maliseche, ngakhale kuganiza za gay. Zinandimenya kumbuyo ndi mpeni ndipo ndinali pansi. NDINALI, patapita masiku angapo ndinkaonera zolaula, zonse zowongoka komanso zongogonana ... Chosangalatsa ndichoti onse sanandidzutse momwe ngakhale m'modzi wa iwo akanayenera (kumene ndikanamukakamiza mwamwano, koma sizinali Sindisangalala kwenikweni. Ndikuganiza kuti zinali ngati zovuta za placebo, chifukwa cha kusokonezeka kwathunthu komanso kukhumudwa kwathunthu.
Ndidazindikira kuti kuyambiranso kuyenera kupitilizidwa ndipo ndidazindikiranso kuti malingaliro omwe adaletsedwa adandidalitsa kuposa kuwona zinthu izi zolaula. Zinandilimbitsa pang'ono chifukwa chakuti HOCD ndiyachangu, koma sindinapeze uthenga wofufuza wa HOCD, kuti kufunsa ndi kuyang'ana ndiye chinthu choyipa kwambiri chomwe chimasunga malingaliro osafunikira awa. Chifukwa chake ndidali ndi nkhawa. (Monga kakalata kakang'ono - bwenzi langa loyamba libwerera kusukulu yanga, ndipo kuti sakundifunanso, ndizovuta, koma ndikamuwona, zimandibwezera)
Zomwe ndidaphunzira kuyambira mwezi umodzi nditayambiranso kubadwa ndizofunikira kwambiri:
Kusuta udzu kumatha kuwononga zolinga zanu !! -Kapena osachepera amakupangitsani kukhudza mbolo yanu mosasamala.
Masabata otsatirawo anali ndi mawonekedwe ofanana: mkati mwa sabata ndinatulutsa bwino, ndikupita patsogolo bwino mu kuyambiranso (Palibe PMO, maloto onyowa ndi atsikana omwe ndimawadziwa, zomangika zokha, m'mawa wamatumba), koma kumapeto kwa sabata loyamba ndidasuta udzu ndi bwenzi langa, atakwiya kwambiri adatha kuchita zachiwerewere pagulu - osati zoyipa kwambiri zomwe ungaganize. Mulingo wake ndikuti Loweruka lina lotsatira, pomwe palibe atsikana adakhalapo, ndimatha kuseweretsa maliseche (malingaliro owongoka komanso amwano) - ndiyenera kuwonjezera, kuti, monga ndidawerengera, mosiyana ndi ambiri a inu anyamata Kugonana ndili wamkulu (ngakhale MO'ed pagulu, yomwe ndi gawo lina lakugwira ntchito yanga ya PMO) - kukhala wokwiya kwambiri izi nditangochita, ndikulonjeza kwa ine kuti sindidzakhalanso wopusa, kutha kusuta udzu kumapeto kwa sabata lotsatira…
Masabata atatu apitawa ndidazindikira kuti ndiyenera kuthana ndi mantha anga, kuti ndizikhala ndi izi, kuvomereza kuti mwina ndizikhala ndi ziwonetsero kapena ayi koma poyamba ndikhale wodekha komanso kuti ndigwirizane ndi kuyambiranso kuti ndidziwe zenizeni. Sanakhale PMO kwa milungu itatu. Munthawi imeneyi ndinali ndimalingaliro awiri azigonana okhaokha ndipo sakanakhoza kundipweteketsa ndi chidaliro changa chatsopano. Bwenzi langa ndi ine tidaganiza zosiya kugona tonse kwa miyezi iwiri chifukwa timawerenga nkhani yonena za kuyambiranso kugona ndi chibwenzi, zonga njira zopulumutsira komanso zinthu zonse zamtunduwu. Ndinasinthanso bwino pakulankhula ndi atsikana ena, mtundu wamasewera olakwika ndipo ndinakumana ndi zovuta kwambiri kuchita izi, ndipo ndinakhumudwitsidwa kuti ndikhulupiriwanso kwambiri kuti sindingakwanitse kuyika atsikana achichepere, ngakhale adandigometsa ndi maonekedwe ake komanso njira yake yondiponderetsera njira yochenjera komanso yogonana. Izi zinali zabwino kwambiri mwakuti ubongo wanga wa scumbag udatha kuganiza zondipatsa chilimbikitso champhamvu pambuyo pake, champhamvu kwambiri kwakuti ndidalephera ngakhale ndidadziuza nthawi yonseyi kuti ndisachite! Ndimakwiyirabe kupusa kumeneku, chifukwa kudziwa mtsikana uyu kuphatikiza kumukomera mtima ndichinthu chachikulu, ndinadzinyadira ndekha mpaka nditatero. Ndidakhumudwa ndi kusowa kwamphamvu kuti tsiku lachitatu - "tili bwino kukumana nanu!" - A HOCD anga adalowa, ndipo ndinayang'ana zolaula kuti ndiwone - Monga mukuwonera HOCD ingalowe m'njira zingapo.
Mulimonse, tsopano ndi tsiku lachinayi ndipo ndidaganiza kuti ndikufuna thandizo lanu. Inu anyamata ndinu abwino ndipo nthawi iliyonse ndikawerenga zolemba pa YBOP ndimawona ngwazi zenizeni zomwe zimalimbana ndi mavuto omwe ndimawadziwa ngakhale ndikwaniritsa zomwe sindingathe kuzikwaniritsa. Pali zochulukirapo patsamba lino ndipo ngakhale ndidauza anzanga ndi bwenzi langa za zovuta zanga zolaula ndikuganiza kuti sindingathe kukukhumudwitsani inu anyamata monga momwe ndimadziwira ine ndekha! Sindikupeza lero osati mawa, tsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo ngati china chake chofunikira chichitike ndikudziwitsani! Ndidzachita izi kuti ndikhale kuti nkhawa zanga zatha ndipo ndimatha kugonana m'njira momwe zimayenera kukhalira, zomwe zikufunika nthawi, ngakhale ndayamba kale kutengera zoyipa za ED.
Kwa anyamata onse omwe ali ndi kuchuluka komweko kobwerera Ndinganene kuti simuyenera kuda nkhawa kuti mungayambirenso mobwerezabwereza m'manja mwanu. Zomwe mungakwanitse komanso zomwe mwina mwakwaniritsa kale sizidzatha - ingoganizirani zabwino ndikupitiliza kuyambiranso mwamphamvu kuposa kale! - gulani lamba wodzisunga ngati mukufuna - simunapezepo amuna,… komabe: D… Ndikuganiza kuti nonse mukuchita ntchito yofunika kwa inu nokha komanso kwa anthu omwe ali pachiwerewere omwe tikukhala nawonso zikuyenda bwino! Khalani omasuka kundifunsa chilichonse Ps.
LINK - Zaka 18 - 3 mwezi waulendo ED wachiritsidwa - HOCD - tsopano kuyesa kwachitatu ndi KOMANSO
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