Ndili ndi zaka 19 ndipo ndimakonda zolaula, ndipo ndikufuna kugawana nkhani yanga ndi aliyense amene angawone ngati othandiza. Sindikudziwa kuti ndakhala ndikuledzera zolaula, ndinayamba kuziwona ndili ndi zaka 12 kapena 13, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti sizinatenge nthawi kuti ndigwiritse ntchito kuti muthe kuti ndazolowera 5 kapena 6 zaka.
Sindinazindikire kuti ndinali m'mavuto ambiri mpaka theka la chaka chapitacho. Ndinapita paulendo kwa sabata imodzi ndipo ndinalibe zolaula, sabata imeneyo sindinapeze cholowa chimodzi !!! Ndinali ngati ndani, ndili ndi zaka 19 zokha zomwe sizili pomwe pano. Zidali kalekale pomwe ndidazindikira kuti zanga zayamba kufooka, koma popeza ndimakonda kwambiri zolaula sindinkafuna kuvomereza ndekha kuti zimayambitsidwa ndi zolaula. Miyezi iwiri yapitayo, kwinakwake pafupi ndi Khrisimasi, pamapeto pake ndidavomereza kuti ndili ndi zolaula ndipo ndiyenera kuthawa. Kuchokera nthawi imeneyo ndikuyesera kuti ndisiye kuyiyang'ana ndipo ndakhala ndikukumana ndi zizindikilo zoopsa, makamaka za HOCD yoopsa.
Popeza ndili ndi zinthu zambiri zomwe ndikufuna kugawana ndi wina aliyense yemwe akukumana ndi zomwezi kapena zofanana, ndikuyenera kukuchenjezani kuti nkhani iyi izikhala yayitali komanso yopatsa chiyembekezo.
Mbiri Yabwino Kwambiri
Sindinakhalepo ndi mwayi ndi atsikana ambiri chifukwa chodzikayikira komanso kuda nkhawa, ndiye chifukwa chachikulu chomwe ndinalowera zolaula. Zinali zosavuta, ndikudina kochepera nditha kuwona chilichonse chomwe ndimafuna kuwona popanda kuyeserera komanso kupita kwa atsikana. Nthawi zonse ndimaganiza kuti iyi inali yankho labwino komanso kuti sindingafunenso bwenzi, ndimakhulupirira kuti zonse zomwe ndimafunikira ndi zolaula. Zinali miyezi yochepa chabe ndisanafike pomwe ndazindikira kuti ndili wopanda chisoni ndipo kenako ndidaganiza zolaula zolaula, ndimaganiza kuti zikhala zosavuta, ndikupusa bwanji.
OCD MWA CHIDA
Nthawi zonse ndakhala ndikudwala OCD, ndinali ndimatenda ena akuluakulu ngati mwana ndipo chifukwa chake, ndili ndi PTSD. Pakapita kanthawi PTSD itasowa (idapita yokha, sindinayambe ndakhalapo wazamisala chifukwa cha PTSD kapena OCD), kenako OCD idawonekera, idali yokhudza khansa kwambiri, koma kuyambira pamenepo ndidakhala ndi mitundu ingapo ya OCD (Chibale , HOCD, mumatcha dzina). Momwe munganene, ndinadzipeza ndekha ndipo mwina mukukayikira lingaliro langa, koma ndikhulupirireni kuti ndine 100% ndikutsimikiza kuti ndi OCD.
TASTE ESCALATION
Monga momwe mungaganizire, m'mene nthawi zolaula zanga zimalowera, ndiyesabe kuzisintha mtsogolo monga momwe amapitira patsogolo ndikuyesera kufotokoza chifukwa chomwe adandichotsera.
- KUGWIRITSA NTCHITO ZINA ZOKHUDZA (Zithunzi, makanema, ngakhale nyimbo pomwe mtsikanayo akuyimba anali ndi mawu otentha)
- Vanilla porn (Ndikukumbukira nthawi yomwe ndinadziimba mlandu nditatha kupanga vidiyo yonyansa)
- Amuna okhaokha (Ganizirani kuti sindinkafuna kuwona amuna zolaula, pakupemphaku anali makanema okhaokha, koma adasintha kukhala zinthu zoopsa)
- Kulowetsedwa kawiri
- Chilichonse
- Magulu achifwamba
- Ndi zinthu zowongoka kwambiri zokha zomwe zingaganiziridwe (Kulamulira mopambanitsa, kumatako apawiri / patatu… Zinthu izi zimandichotsera ngakhale lero ngakhale ndimaganiza kuti zinali kwinakwake zaka ziwiri ndi theka zapitazo)
- SHEMALES (Ine ndimangoyang'ana ma shemales akulamulidwa ndipo nthawi zonse amakhala achikazi, ngati atsikana okhala ndi penises. Uyu ndi wanga wamkulu kwambiri komanso gwero la HOCD yanga, popeza ndimakhala ndi chilala chofuna zolaula zowongoka, ndidapitilira kuti - Zinthu zowongoka. Chifukwa chomwe ndidachipezera kuti chinali chotentha ndichoti ndidachipeza kuti chimakhala chozunza komanso chochititsa manyazi kwambiri kwa shemale. Mwachidziwikire anali munthu wamwamuna yemwe amavulidwa pazosinthika zomaliza zaumunthu ndipo amalamulidwa ndi munthu wina, ndipo chinthu chinali chakuti Shemale amawoneka bwino kuposa atsikana enieni. Chifukwa chake ndikuganiza iyi inali njira yanga yomaliza yamalingaliro achisoni.)
- Pambuyo pa zaka zopitilira ziwiri za shemale zimangondivuta chifukwa ndimawonera makanema onse amaonekedwe okongola a shemale kukhala f *** ed, kotero ndidayamba pang'onopang'ono kubwerera ku zolaula zowongoka, koma ndikuganiza chiyani: sizinali zotheka ine!
KUTHENGA KWA SHEMALE PORN
Kwa zaka ziwiri ndimangokhala ndimtunduwu, poyamba sindinkafuna kuti shemale achite chilichonse ndi zida zake, ngakhale kundigwira kungakhale kotheka kwa ine. Koma pamene chizoloŵezi changa choledzeretsa chinkawonjezereka mu c ** ks, mpaka pamene sindinathe kuzipangira ma shemales omwe anali ndi ziwalo zoberekera ndipo nthawi ina ndinayamba kuganiza ngati "Ndikanamuyamwa". Ngakhale sindinkafuna kuwona amuna okhaokha akulamulira mwamunayo. Ndinafika pozama kwambiri moti ndinkaganiza kuti atsikana omwe ndimakonda kukhala ndi maliseche, ndiye kuti anali okonda zinthu, moona mtima, nthawi ina ndimapatsa ma shemales atsikana. Mwamwayi, chidwi changa pa shemales chikuchepa nthawi yochulukirapo yomwe ndimakhala kutali ndi zolaula, ndipo ndimapeza ziwalo zoberekera za akazi zowoneka bwino. (Masiku 45 palibe PMO)
CHENJEZO ZA KUDZIPEREKA
Ndikungothokoza kuti sindinakhalepo ndi zolaula za gay, nditha kungoganiza kuti HOCD yanga ikhala bwanji ndikadapanda kutero, zitha kundidziwitsa. Koma chomwe chimandidetsa nkhawa ndichakuti ndi nthawi zomwe zikhumbo zanga zomaliza zimatha, ndipo china chake m'maganizo mwanga chidasinthika ndipo ndidayamba kuganiza kuti zingakhale bwanji shemale yomwe ikulamulidwa. Monga momwe mungaganizire zinandisokoneza komanso zinayambitsa chidwi chambiri pakugonana komanso kusalemekeza amuna kapena akazi.
CURRENT HOCD
Mine HOCD inayamba masiku angapo nditasankha kusiya zolaula (motero ndikukhulupirira kuti ndi chizindikiro chodzichotsera), patatha masiku angapo ndisanachite zolaula ndidaganiza zoyesa kusiya malingaliro omwe sindinachite nawo kwanthawi yayitali. Ndinayesa malingaliro aliwonse pomwe ndimakhala wamkulu ndipo mbolo yanga sinayankhe. Kenako ndinayesa kulingalira za china chake chomwe ndikanawona kuti sichingaganizidwe nthawi ina kumbuyo - ndikumatsitsidwa, ndikuganiza kuti, ndinayamba ndikumangapo kwa mphindi zochepa - NDINALI WOOPSA KWAMBIRI !!! Ndimamva ngati nthawi yoyamba kuwonera zolaula, kapena nditayamba kupeza zolaula, zinali ngati kusakanikirana kwa adrenaline ndi horniness. Ndiyesera kufotokoza, ngakhale simutha kumvetsetsa momwe zimamvekera chifukwa ndikuganiza kuti odwala OCD okha ndi omwe amatha kumvetsetsa (ndikhulupirira simuli amodzi). Zimamveka ngati mukumenyana ndi malingaliro anu, mukufunafuna mtundu wina wotsimikizira kuti zomwe mumachita (pankhaniyi kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha) sizowona, koma kuvomereza kwanu sikungapezeke. Ngakhale mutatsimikiziridwa kuwongoka kwanu, malingaliro anu amangotaya mumphindi zochepa ndikukuyankhaninso mafunso ena.
Ndinkaopa kuti ndigonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso kuti ndisadzakondenso ndi mtsikana. Panthawi yovuta kwambiri ndinali ndi mantha omwe adatenga masiku 10, ndimakhala maola 6 patsiku ndikuyang'ana mayeso a "Kodi ndine gay"! Zinali ngati ndagwidwa mkulota koopsa ndipo ndinalibe njira yopulumukira. Nthawi ina ndimadziyankhulira ndekha kuti "O amuna ndikhozanso kukhala gay ngati zingachititse kuti zoopsa izi zichoke". Ngati aliyense amene ali ndi HOCD akuwerenga izi ndinena izi: ingozisiya, ndikudziwa zikumveka zovuta, koma kufunafuna chitsimikiziro chakuwongoka kwanu kumangokulowetsani mmenemo. HOCD ndi SATAN IWokha, izisewera malingaliro m'maganizo mwanu, ikupangitsani kusewera komwe mumasewera nokha ndipo chilichonse chomwe mungachite chikupandukireni pamapeto pake. Njira yokhayo yopambana masewerawa ndi kusasewera !!! Ngati idayamba panthawi yomwe mumayesetsa kusiya zolaula, mutha kukhala otsimikiza 100% (zikumveka zosatheka ngati muli ndi OCD - mudatchulapo vuto lokayikira) ndichizindikiro chodzichotsa. Mukangobwereranso ndikuchita maliseche zolaula zidzatha, koma kuti mudzabwerere maola angapo apitawa.
ZOCHITIKA ZABWINO
Ndiyenera kuti ndipereke ndime yosiyana ndi zochitikazi, sindinayambe ndakhalapo mwa amuna zonsezi zisanachitike. Koma pamene idayamba ndimangokhala ndi chidwi chofufuza abambo ndi amai ndikuwayerekezera ndi anzawo kuti ndidziwe yemwe ndimakopeka naye, ndipo mutha kulingalira zomwe-malingaliro anga adayamba kundipangitsa kuti ndikhale wokopeka ndi amuna.
Njira yopangira zokopa zabodza imayenda motere:
- Choyamba mumayang'ana wina kuti adziwe kuti mumamukonda
- Kuchokera mwa amuna a 20 omwe mungayang'anire mumamutsimikizira kuti iye ndiwowoneka bwino
- Kenako mupita mwamantha chifukwa mulephera kusiyanitsa pakati pa kukopeka ndi winawake ndikuwona kuti wina ndiwokongola
- Zitatha izi, ngati chitumbuwa pamwamba, pamabwera malingaliro omwe amakupangitsani kuganiza kuti nkhawa zanu ndizowona zomwe zimakupangitsani inu
- Chotsatira ndikuti malingaliro anu akuponyera m'malingaliro ngati "mungayamwitse c ** k" kapena "mungafune kukhala wh ** e wake wamng'ono"
- Kenako pakubwera kukhumudwa ndi kudzipha, atleast kwa ine CHOFUNIKA KWAMBIRI CHOFUNIKA KUDZIWA ZOKHUDZA HOCD NDI CHIMENE CHIMAKHALA CHIMENE CHIMAKHALA CHENICHENI, NGATI SIKUMVA NGATI CHONCHO SIKUNGAKHALE KUKHALA SATANA NOKHA. Pakadali pano sindili mumayendedwe a HOCD chifukwa ndidabwereranso maola angapo apitawa, ngati ndingayese kulemba izi ndili ndi chidwi chonse, sizingatheke chifukwa chakukaikira kwakukulu. Ndikulemba izi mwina ndimaganiza ngati momwe ndimaganizira motere kapena ndikukana zina.
KUSINTHA KWA ZINSINSI
Ndikuyesera kuyambiranso kwa miyezi iwiri tsopano, koma sindinapitirire masiku 8 opanda PMO. Ndikukumana ndi mavuto ambiri kuyimitsa zolaula popeza HOCD yanga imandipangitsa kuti ndiyang'ane momwe ndimaonera zolaula nthawi zonse. Koma zivute zitani, masiku 8 a nofap ndichinthu chomwe sindinachite zaka 7, chifukwa chake ndichopambana kwambiri kwa ine. Ponena za zozizwitsa zachilendo, zimandichititsa kuchepa, tsopano ndizonyansa pang'ono. Ma shemales amandidzutsa pang'ono kuposa momwe ndinayesera ndisanayese PMO ndipo ndimatha kupeza zolaula zolaula m'masekondi 20-30 osalimbikitsidwa ndi dzanja, zomwe zinali zosaganizirika miyezi itatu yapitayo. Komanso HOCD yanga ikuchepa ndikuchepa, ndiye ikakwera ndimangofunika kuyambiranso kenako imachokanso kwakanthawi isanabwererenso ndikukakamiza kuti ndiyesetse kugonana kwanga powonera zolaula, zomwe zimatha kubwereranso kwina.
ZOIPA
Mukabwereranso ndimangomva ngati kuti ndagwidwa, mphamvu zanga zimangolowa ndipo ndimamva ngati ndili m'ndende ndikukakamizidwa kuti ndibwererenso. Kutanthauzira kwakukulu ndikuti malingaliro anga amangopita mu zombie mode, koma m'malo mongonena "BRAAAAINS" akuti "JUUUST MOOORE TIMEEE". Ndimaseka pomwe munthu wosadziwa amalemba ngati "zolaula sizitenga bwenzi", ndikumvetsetsa momwe anthu omwe amamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo amamvera. Ndili ndi anzanga omwe ali ndi vuto la mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndipo tsopano ndimatha kumvetsetsa za kuyesayesa kwawo kolephera kuti ndisiye kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, nthawi iliyonse ndikabwereranso ndimakulitsa njira yanga ya zombie ndi yawo ("JUUUST ONE MOOORE TIMEEE").
Ndinaonanso kuti ndikadzayambiranso ndimakhala wotopa m'maganizo komanso mthupi, malingaliro anga amakhala ngati sanathere ndipo ndimamva kupweteka mutu pang'ono ndipo thupi langa limangokhala lofooka ndipo ndimakhala ndimaganizo achilendo pachifuwa chomwe ndimatha kufotokoza bwino ngati chinthu pakati pa kukomoka ndi kupuma.
Izi ndi zonse zomwe ndingakumbukire panthawiyi, ngati wina aliyense azindikira zomwe ndili nazo, muli olandilidwa kufunsa mafunso aliwonse omwe muli nawo. Zabwino zonse ndipo ndikukhulupirira kuti tituluka.
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