Ndinaganiza kuti ndigawanapo zabwino zomwe ndakhala ndikuganiza kuti sizingachitike. Ndinagonana koyamba kuyambira 17 usiku watha! (Tsopano ndili ndi zaka 20)
Kwa mbiri yayitali, ndakhala ndikulimbana ndi vuto la PMO kuyambira ndikulephera zaka 15 ndipo mpaka chaka chatha ndidavomera kuti ndili ndi vuto. Ndimakumbukira ndikubweretsa mtsikana kwathu kuti ndikhale ndi usiku umodzi ndikumaliza usikuwo ndikuchita manyazi. Sindinathe kuzipeza pambuyo poyesera kangapo ndipo msungwanayo adakwiya, ndikuganiza kuti ndimaganiza kuti siokongola mokwanira. Ndikukumbukira nditawona TED Talk yokhudza gulu ili ndipo ndidaganiza zolowerera nawo nkhondoyi.
Kotero, kuyamba kwanga kovuta kwa NoFap kunapitirira mpaka kumayambiriro kwa August chaka chino. Ndinafika pamtsinje wa masiku 57, koma gf wanga panthawiyo adaganiza zothetsa ine ndipo ndidataya pang'ono. Zinthu zidangobwerera komwe zidalipo popeza sindinathe kuyendetsa bwino zinthu naye ndikutaya chiyembekezo. Komabe, ndidabweranso pahatchi kumapeto kwa Seputembara, ndipo sindinathe kuyambira pa Novembala 13.
Zomwe zachitika kuyambira pamenepo zakhala zovuta, koma zopindulitsa. Ndidapunthwa kwa m'modzi mwa atsikana akulu kwambiri omwe analinso mwa ine, koma ndinali ndi mavuto ambiri kuti ndimupangitse kuti ayambe chibwenzi (ndangotuluka kumene). Pambuyo pake, nditamuwuza kuti sindikungofuna zibwenzi zokha, adabwerako patatha sabata ndipo adandiuza kuti kutseguka sikunali koyenera kuti asandionenso (zomwe zimamveka bwino, btw).
Tidakhala ndi tsiku lathu loyamba sabata yatha. Chilichonse chimayenda bwino, ndipo tinamwa pang'ono pambuyo pake. Zinthu zinayamba kutentha ndipo kumbuyo kwa malingaliro anga, ndinali ndi nkhawa kuti phukusili silikhala lovuta kokwanira zogonana. Zowonadi ndiye, timatha tonse tili amaliseche pakama titangokhala pamenepo ndikukhumudwa poti ndidakali wopanda pake. Ndinavala zovala zanga zamkati ndipo timakhala usiku wonse tikungokhalira kukumbatirana, kwinaku ndikupitilizabe kumangonena zazomwe sindinathe kuchita. Sanadziwe zomwe ndimakhala ndikulimbana nazo ndipo sanazindikire kuti sikumakhala mowa wokha.
Chifukwa chake masiku angapo pambuyo pake (usiku watha makamaka), adandilembera mameseji kuti atuluka mu kanema ndi mnzake mnzake mtunda wa makilomita angapo kuchokera kunyumba kwanga ndipo akufuna kuti adzagone. Ndanena motsimikiza ndipo patatha maola angapo ndili netflix pakama panga, kupsompsona kwathu apa ndi apo kumakhala kolimba kwambiri kotero timazimitsa chilichonse. Tsopano ndili ndi mantha kwambiri chifukwa ndikudziwa komwe zikupita.
Pomaliza, akuti akufuna ndiphatikize. Ndimuuza kuti ndiyenera kulimbikira pang'ono motero andipatsa mutu kwa mphindi. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito kondomu ndipo pamene timayesetsa kugwirizanitsa zinthu, zimayambiranso kuyenda. Mutu wanthawi zonse wokhumudwitsa umawonekeranso. Pakadali pano, adadzigudubuza nati "..ukutsimikiza kuti siine ndekha?"
Ndikuti "mwamtheradi ayi .. sindikudziwa kuti ndi chiyani .."
Pambuyo povuta pang'ono, ndimamubwerera ndikumuuza kuti ndili pansi kuti ndichite zinthu zina. Amangopukusa mutu ndikundiuza kuti sakhala mumkhalidwe tsopano. Monga msungwana wazaka pafupifupi zapitazo, amakhulupirira kuti ndi iye yekhayo ndipo ndimagwiritsa ntchito mphindi 10 zotsatira kumutsimikizira kuti sizomwezo. Ndimazindikira kuti vuto langa ndi PMO ndikuchititsa manyazi ndikuyamba kumufotokozera zonse kuti zitheke kumveka. Potsirizira pake, akuti amandikhulupirira, koma tsopano malingaliro ake ali pazolakwa zake zonse kotero kuti sanakhalebe wokondwa.
Ndikumva kuwawa kwambiri tsopano ndipo ndikufunsani ngati akufuna kuyankhula za izi. Amanong'oneza "ngati" ndipo amatha kundiuza zolakwika zake zonse. Pamene akuyamba kuwalemba, ndimapita kumagetsi ndikumupangitsa kuti andisonyeze onsewa pofuna kumuwonetsa momwe ndimawonera thupi lake mosiyana. Ndimamuyamikira pazonse zomwe amandiuza ndipo titamaliza mndandanda wake, iye amatsutsa Ndimamuuza nkhawa zanga. Timaliza kukhala ndi nkhani yodabwitsayi yomwe imakhala pafupifupi ola limodzi ndipo pafupifupi 3AM, machitidwe ake akuwoneka kuti atembenuka.
Timayatsa magetsi kuti agone ndipo ndimamva pang'ono zogonana kumapeto kwake. Ndiyamba kumva mozungulira thupi lake ndikuchepetsanso dzanja langa mchiuno mwake. Timayamba kupanga zanja uku dzanja langa lili mkati mwake. Popanda kuzindikira, tsopano ndalimba kuposa thanthwe. Amadzimva pambali pake ndikundiyimitsa. "..Ufuna kuyesanso?" Osadanso nkhawa ndi nkhani yanga yochititsa manyazi, ndikunena chifukwa chiyani. Ndimagwiranso kondomu ina, kuti andiyike kuti ndipange zinthu pakati panga, ndikuziwombera mkati. Ndipo kuyambira pamenepo usiku woyamba wa kugonana kokongola: ')
Tikukhulupirira, izi zinali zosangalatsa kapena zolimbikitsa mwanjira ina. Ndikulimba mtima kwambiri usiku watha ndipo ndimaganiza kuti zitha kupereka chiyembekezo kwa ena omwe akuvutika ndi chinthu chomwecho. Yankhani ngati muli ndi mafunso kapena mukufuna kugawana chilichonse. Zikomo powerenga.
LINK - Nkhani Yopambana (PIED Yagonjetsa masiku a 47)
by Malicertes
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