Ndinali ndi vuto la kukhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa kwambiri ... ndikadangosamukira kudziko lina ndipo ndinalibe abwenzi. Ndinali ndi maliseche pafupifupi katatu patsiku (chizolowezi changa cholaula chinayamba pafupifupi zaka 12-13. Ndine 20, pafupifupi 21 tsopano). Ndinkasewera runescape maola khumi ndi awiri patsiku. Kwa zaka zingapo zapitazi ndimaganiza zodzipha kangapo pa sabata.
Chilichonse chinali chotopetsa. Sindinkafuna kucheza ndi aliyense. Maphunziro anga atayamba ndinkaopa kupita tsiku lililonse. Ndidapita, ndidafika pomwe kalasi idayamba, ndidangochoka kalasi itangotsala osatulutsa mawu ndi munthu aliyense, ndidabweranso kunyumba ndikukhala pansi kuwerengera ndikumakhala tsiku langa lonse pa intaneti.
Nthawi zambiri ndimangogwira pa Reddit nthawi ya NFL. Ndine wokonda wamkulu wa NFL ndipo ndimakonda subreddit. Komabe, Pakati pa preseason ya NFL ndinafikako ndipo ndidawona subreddit "nofap" inali ndi zolemba zingapo patsamba limodzi lapamwamba la Reddit. Ndidayang'ana mu subreddit ndikuwona anthu ali ndi ziwerengero zamasana zopitilira chaka. Ndinaganiza kuti "nditha kuchita izi, koma palibe chifukwa…" sindinawerengere chifukwa chomwe anthu amachitira izi. Okutobala adabwera ndipo ndidayamba kusasangalala ndimomwe ndimakhalira. Ndinayang'ananso ku nofap popanda chifukwa ndipo ndinayamba kuwerenga chifukwa chake anthuwa anali kuchita izi. Ndinazindikira zinthu zambiri zolakwika m'moyo wanga zinali zisonyezo za anthu omwe amakonda kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Idalongosola kusakhala kwanga ndi chidwi ndi zogonana zenizeni komanso chifukwa chake ndimakhala ndi magwiridwe antchito. Idafotokoza pafupifupi mavuto anga onse amisala. Zinandipatsa chidwi cha chiyembekezo… ndinali nditaiwala kwathunthu momwe zimamvekera.
Kumayambiriro kwa Okutobala, ndinayesa nofap koyamba. Ndidapanga masiku 27 ndisanabwerere (poyerekeza kuti ndimafuna kuwonetsetsa kuti sindinali "wakufa" kumusi uko). M'masiku 14 ndinali ndi kusintha kosaneneka. Achibale anga anandiuza kuti posachedwapa ndimawoneka wosangalala komanso ochezeka. Ndinachepetsa nthawi yanga yogwiritsira ntchito intaneti. Ndinayamba kulakalaka kucheza kwambiri. Nditha kuyamikira kukongola kwachilengedwe. Ndinayamba kulakalaka china kuchokera m'moyo, zomwe zidandipangitsa kulingalira zomwe ndikufuna kuchita ndekha. O, ndikusintha kwakuthupi komanso kwakugonana monga kukumana ndi matabwa am'mawa kwa nthawi yoyamba mzaka kumawonekeranso kodabwitsa. Kukhala wolimba mwamphamvu nditadzuka ndikusunga izi mpaka nditasamba - umboni wotsimikiza kuti china chake chikusintha. Zinkawoneka zodabwitsa.
Kenako, ndikutsetsereka. Ndinazolowera kunyada kokhala ndi matabwa ammawa uliwonse tsiku lililonse. Itasiya kuchitika ndidayamba kuipotoza ngati chowonera kuti ndiwone ngati mbolo yanga ikugwirabe ntchito. Zinanditengera masiku angapo kuti ndichite, koma zinali zikumangidwa kwa sabata imodzi ndipo ndidadzipereka. Choyamba ndimakhala ndimaganizo anga. Kenaka patapita masiku angapo ndinali ndi chidwi chochita kachiwiri, nthawi ino ndi zolaula. Ndidatulutsa.
Kuyambiranso koyamba patapita nthawi yayitali kunandibweretsanso kumbuyo. Koma, ndimafuna. Zinandikumbutsa kutalika komwe ndidachokera. Utsi wamaganizidwe womwe sindinadziwe kuti wapita unali utabwerera. Sindikudziwa kuti ndinatha bwanji kugwira ntchito kwakanthawi motere. Maganizo anga onse anaponderezedwanso. Nthawi yomweyo ndinayamba kupsa mtima ndikumangodandaula m'masiku ochepa otsatirawa.
Ndidalimbana ndikupitilira mpaka Thanksgiving. Ndinkakonda kukhala ndi zolaula ndisanapite patchuthi. Sanakhalepo PMO kuyambira pamenepo. Ndili ndi bwenzi lokongola tsopano ndipo ndakhala ndikugonana posachedwa pazomwe zimamverera ngati nthawi yoyamba. Sindinathe kuzimvetsa nthawi yoyamba, ndipo zimawoneka zoyipa kuposa kale nofap. Ndinamuuza pasadakhale kuti sindimadziwa choti ndichite komanso chifukwa, ndipo amandimvetsetsa komanso amandithandiza. Nthawi yachiwiri inali yabwino kwambiri. Chachitatu, ngakhale zabwinoko. Ndakhala ndikusintha nthawi iliyonse ndikusangalala nayo koposa. Tsopano, ndikakhala ndikulimbikitsidwa, ndi za iye, osati za PMO. Sindinkafuna kuyang'ana zolaula m'masabata atatu kapena apo tsopano. Nthawi zambiri ndimakhala ochepera ola limodzi tsiku lililonse pa intaneti. Tsopano ndikumva bwino mwakuthupi komanso m'maganizo kuposa momwe ndakhalira kuyambira ndili mwana. Ndikumva ngati munthu tsopano. Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndipitilizabe kusintha, chifukwa sindikuganiza kuti ndachira bwino m'maganizo, koma ndikumva bwino kwambiri kuposa momwe ndidachitira miyezi ingapo yapitayo.
Ndi njira yovuta, yochedwa. Ndikukhulupirira kuti ngati mwatsopano ndipo mudakhala ndi nthawi yowerenga izi, muphunzira pazolakwitsa zanga zina ndikulimbikitsidwa ndi kupambana kwanga. Khalani olimba, aliyense, komanso mwayi kwa nonse.
LINK - Miyezi inayi yapitayo ndinali nditatsika kwambiri m'moyo wanga.
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