Zaka 22 - ED, nkhawa zamagulu, kukhumudwa & utsi wamaubongo

-Mphamvu zochulukirapo -Kumveka bwino, kulimba, kusinkhasinkha -Kumaso kowoneka bwino -Nkhwangwa kulibe -Kukhumudwa kumachepetsa -Kulakalaka kuyanjana ndi azimayi -Obweza abwerera !!

Ndinaganiza zopanga nofap chifukwa cha kuvutika maganizo, ubongo wa ubongo, nkhawa za anthu, mphamvu zochepa, ndi zolaula zomwe zinachititsa ED. Ine ndinapita mmenemo ndi ziyembekezo zazikulu, ndipo ziyembekezozo zinali zopitirira. Ndikupitirizabe kupita patsogolo kwambiri muzinthu zonse, makamaka nkhawa za anthu.

Lero, ndili ndi zaka 22, inali nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga kutumiza mameseji ndi kumuwuza kuti azikhala ndi ine kamodzi. Atsikana nthawi zonse akhala akundikondera m'mbuyomu, koma nthawi zonse ndakhala ndikulakalaka kucheza ndi anthu. Sindikumva bwino kuti nditha kuzichita. Ndimaganiza kuti sindidzatero. Lero ndakumana ndi mtsikana wokongola uyu yemwe amandikonda ndipo tinapita kukatentha. Zinanditengera kanthawi koma pamapeto pake ndinasuntha ndipo tinapita ndipo ndinasewera naye zokongola kwambiri kwa maola angapo. Ngakhale ndimagonana ndi amayi osiyanasiyana a 7 m'moyo wanga (onse ku koleji) iyi inali nthawi yoyamba kuti ndikhazikitse tsiku ndikusintha. M'mbuyomu nthawi zonse zakhala zikumakhala paphwando kapena zoyipa zosasangalatsa. Anatumizirana mameseji pambuyo pake ndipo zikuoneka kuti anali ndi nthawi yabwino. Izi sizikanachitika kale. Ndinali womasuka komanso wopanda nkhawa.

Ndinalinso ndi boner yayikulu nthawi yonseyi (yodabwitsa)! Ndinafika poti nthawi zingapo zapitazo ndinayesa kugonana sindinathe ngakhale kuvuta. Ndinkafuna zolaula komanso kudzikonda. Usikuuno ndalimbikitsidwa kwambiri ndikungopsompsona.

Tsopano langizo lina kwa inu mu magawo oyambira kapena kusinkhasinkha zoyesera:

-Yesani basi! Sizingakupwetekeni, ndipo mungadabwe momwe zingathandizire. Sindinaganizirepo mwina za momwe kukula kwanga kumandibweretsera mavuto ambiri. Tsopano ndazindikira kuti zimapangitsa moyo wanga kukhala wovuta kwambiri.

-Ngati ndinu achichepere ndikuwerenga za izi, chitani tsopano! Chodandaula changa chachikulu ndikuti ndimakonda zolaula nthawi yonse yomwe ndimaphunzira ku koleji. Sindingathe kulingalira momwe moyo wabwino waku koleji ukadakhalira ndikadakhala kuti ndikadakhala wotsimikiza mtima komanso womasuka nthawi yonseyi. Akadakhala moyo wabwinoko kwambiri, ndipo akadadutsa mwa akazi mosiyana ndi pafupifupi 2 pachaka.

-Kubwezeretsa sikumakhala mzere. Ulendo uno wakhala wovuta kwambiri. Ndinamva bwino kwambiri sabata loyamba. Masabata otsatira a 2-3 anali owoneka bwino kwambiri. Ndinkamvanso bwino kwambiri ngati kwazaka zambiri. Wopsinjika, wopanda moyo, wodera nkhawa, wosakwiya, wotopa, ndi zina zoterezi zidamveka chimodzimodzi ngati comedown kuchokera ku cocaine kapena chowonjezera; zachidziwikire zonse zokhudzana ndi dopamine. Chinsinsi chake si kukhumudwitsidwa kapena kukhumudwitsidwa ndi mapepala awa. Chithunzi changa chomaliza chidadza tsiku la 70 pomwe ndimaganiza kuti ndatha. Nope. Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti pambuyo pazokotera chilichonse nditafika pamlingo wina watsopano. Ndinkatuluka mwamphamvu nthawi iliyonse. Ingoganizirani za kusinthasintha monga chizindikiro kuti kusintha kwenikweni kukuchitika mkati mwa ubongo wanu.

Ponena za m'tsogolo, sindikukonzekera kuti ndidzabwererenso. Sindikufuna, ndipo sindinenso chidwi ndi zolaula. M'malo mwake ndidawona ena mwangozi tsiku lina ndipo zinali zonyansa kwambiri kuposa china chilichonse. Ndili ndi malingaliro enieni aumunthu tsopano. Ngakhale sindikuwona cholakwika chilichonse nthawi zina popanda zolaula, ndilibe chikhumbo. M'malo mwake, ndinalibe chilakolako miyezi yonse ya 3. Kubwereranso kunalibe vuto pazifukwa zina.

Komabe, ndikufuna kuthokoza kwambiri chifukwa chondithandiza kupanga bvuto labwino kwambiri, ndikulakalaka nonse ncholinga chanu m'maulendo anu.

-IISBECOMEDEAth

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