Zaka 23 - Ndinkakonda kuda nkhawa kwambiri ndi anthu, koma zinthu zasintha

Ndine 23 wazaka wazaka wazaka zapamwamba wochokera ku Finland. Ndidapeza malo pafupifupi chaka chapitacho ndipo ndidawombera kwathunthu chifukwa panali ena omwe amayesa kuthana ndi vuto lomwe ndidali nalo kwazaka zambiri. Nali lipoti lalifupi lomwe ndidapanga nditamaliza kuthana ndi zovuta za masiku a 90.

Kotero ine ndiri, potsiriza. Sindinaganizepo kuti ndikafika kuno. Zinanditengera zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi ndipo ambiri amabwereranso sindingathe kuwerengera, koma nthawi yotsiriza iyi china chake chidangodina m'mutu mwanga. Ndinazitenga pang'onopang'ono. Amakhala tsiku limodzi nthawi imodzi. Nthawi iliyonse yomwe chilakolako chimawuka ndimangodziuza ndekha kuti 'Muyenera kuyamba izi kuti mufike kumene mukufuna kukhala.' Tsiku lililonse ndi gawo lazovuta ndipo ndilofunikanso. Chifukwa chake ziribe kanthu zomwe zingachitike lero ingomupeza. Mudzakhala olimba ndipo pamapeto pake zidzakhala zosavuta. Ndipo zinaterodi. Ndili ndi zolimbikitsabe, koma ndizosavuta kuzisamalira. Ndikosavuta kungoyang'ana kumbali ndikadzawona china chake chikukweza pa TV kapena pa intaneti. Ndikuzindikira kuti sindipindula kalikonse pakukula, zimangobweretsa mavuto. Ndipo ndipomwe sindimafuna kubwerera konse.

Poyamba ndinkakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri, popeza ndidazunzidwa ndili mwana ndipo ndimakhala nthawi yayitali ndikuthawa dziko lenileni pamaso pa kompyuta yanga. Pamapeto pake ndinalibe anzanga. Vutoli landipatsa kulimba mtima kuthana ndi malingaliro anga enieni osawathawa. Ndili ndi chidaliro kuposa kale ndipo ndimafuna kucheza ndi kutuluka panja. Kumanani ndi anthu atsopano. Ndimapindulitsa kwambiri ndipo ndimakwaniritsa zinthu. Ndimatenga masamba ozizira ndikusinkhasinkha pafupifupi tsiku lililonse, zomwe zimandithandiza kukhazika mtima pansi. Ndikosavuta kuti ndiwone phindu lakanthawi, komanso ndikukhala munthawiyo osadandaula zazinthu zazing'ono zomwe zilibe kanthu jack shit.

Vutoli silinathe, koma amayi andipatsa kale zambiri. Zida zamtsogolo. Chifukwa chake musapereke othandizira anzawo, nkhondo ili yonse imakupangitsani kukhala wamphamvu. Osataya mtima!

KULUMIKIZANA - Masiku a 94! Kupereka lipoti.

by Mpho Mulaudzi