8-05 Pambuyo pa nthawi yayitali osagonana (zaka 2 - zomwe zingayambitsidwe ndi chochitika chovuta pamoyo) ndidaganiza kuti inali nthawi yoti ndikonze moyo wanga ndikukhala ndi atsikana ena. Munthawi imeneyi zolaula zanga komanso kuseweretsa maliseche zidakwera mpaka pomwe zolaula zokhazokha (mwachitsanzo ma lesibian 2 okhwima omwe amalamulira msungwana wachichepere 1 pa nthawi yake yoyamba yogonana) ndikuchita mwachangu, mwamphamvu, kumandipangitsa kukhala wamaliseche. Ndinkasangalalanso ndikamayang'ana, ndikudziyesa ndekha ngati msungwanayo akulamulidwa. Kuyang'ana mmbuyo zonse zinali zosokonezeka. Ndimakumbukira nthawi zina ndimamva zachilendo panthawiyo koma kukwera pang'onopang'ono kunapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati zachizolowezi. Ndimakhala nthawi yonse yamasana ndikuseweretsa maliseche mobwerezabwereza.
Ndinkafuna kukhala ndi atsikana, popeza zochitika zanga zogonana ndimangokhumudwa. Chifukwa chake ndidaganiza zosiya kuseweretsa maliseche ndikudziuza kuti ziphuphu zimangobwera kuchokera kwa atsikana. Izi zidandikakamiza kuti ndiyambe kuyandikira, ndikukopana ndi atsikana. Mbali imodzi yokhudza 'Sindiloledwa kuchita maliseche' ndikuti ndinasiya kuonera zolaula. Sindinadziwe za tsambali kapena zolaula pakadali pano, chifukwa chake ndimakhala ngati ndasiya PMO mwangozi.
Ndinadabwa. Ndidayamba kukopa atsikana mwachangu. Ndinali wamantha ndipo ndikudziwa kuti ndimangopeza kukhutitsidwa ndi msungwana (lamulo langa lokhazikika) ndinayamba kuyandikira ndi kutsata atsikana. Ndinakumana ndi msungwana wodabwitsayu usiku wina tikugwirana ndipo tinalumikizana ndi surreal, ndikukopa kwambiri, kupsompsonana, kupera, ndikumverera matupi a wina ndi mnzake povina. Ndinamupempha kuti abwerere nane usiku womwewo koma tinati sakundidziwa mokwanira. Ndinapita kunyumba ndipo ngakhale ndinkafuna kumasulidwa, sindinalole kuti ndisewere maliseche.
Tinakumananso ndipo zinthu zinathera kuchipinda chake. Ndinali wamanjenje popeza zinali zitakhala kuyambira nthawi yomwe ndinali ndisanagone ndi mtsikana. Tidapsompsona mwachikondi ndikudululana koma sindinapeze erection. Palibe. M'malo mwake Dick wanga anali wocheperako komanso wopunduka kwathunthu. Palibe chomwe adachita chomwe chidakhudza chilichonse. Amamvetsetsa ndipo adati "ndi thupi lanu palibe chochititsa manyazi". Amakhala womasuka ndi thupi lake lomwe, ndipo amakonda kukhala wamaliseche. Tinakhala usiku wonse titagona maliseche limodzi tikulankhula, kumasuka komanso kukhala omasuka. Zinamva bwino.
Tsiku lotsatira ndidafika kunyumba ndikupita kuchipinda changa kukachita maliseche kuti ndione ngati zonse zikugwirabe ntchito. Zomwe zidachitikazo zinali zosokoneza pang'ono. Choyamba ndimavutika kuti ndikhale wolimba, kenako ndikatero ndimamasula. Zinanditengera pafupifupi maola 1.5 ndisanakhale ndi vuto, ndikugwiritsa ntchito malingaliro olimba kwambiri komanso zochita zamanja zomwe ndimadziwa. Ndikuganiza kuti panthawiyi ndimaganiza kuti kupewa kuseweretsa maliseche sichinali chinthu chabwino (sindinadziwe zobwezeretsanso, kunyalanyaza zina). Palibe PMO yemwe adandikakamiza kuti ndikakomane ndi atsikana (ngati ndimafuna kuti ndikhale wosankha yekhayo) koma zimawonekeranso kuti zimapha zomwe ndimasankha.
Pitani patsogolo miyezi 3-4. Ndinayesa kugonana ndi msungwanayi kangapo koma sindinapeze erection. Nthawi zonse ndinkayesetsa kuti ndimugwiritse ntchito pakamwa kapena zala zanga. Ndinkafuna kuti apeze kena kake tikakumana.
Munthawi yonseyi ndinali kuseweretsa maliseche, nthawi zina mpaka 5 patsiku, koma sindinkagwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Sindikukumbukira nthawi iti pomwe ndinapeza izi ndi masamba a YBOP, koma ndinazindikira kuti zolaula zimakhudza moyo wanga weniweni. Chifukwa chake ndidatsimikiza kuti sindigwiritsanso ntchito. Koma ndinali ndikuchita maliseche, ndipo ngakhale ndimaganiza za bwenzi langa (nthawi zambiri), ndimadzisangalatsabe ndekha ndikugwiritsa ntchito zongopeka. Zikafika pokhala ndi bwenzi langa zimamveka mosiyana ndipo sindinatsegulidwe chimodzimodzi. M'malo mwake nthawi zina sindimafuna kukhala mumkhalidwewo (palibe kumangirira ndipo kumudikirira moleza mtima kumamveka ngati gehena). Ndinayesa kuseweretsa maliseche popanda zongopeka zomwe zimagwira ntchito, koma posakhalitsa ndinayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zongopeka chifukwa zinali 'zosavuta' kwambiri. Zinthu zidasintha pakapita nthawi pomwe tidali limodzi (kuchokera ku zero erection kwathunthu, mpaka erection yomwe ndidataya).
Ndimayenda maulendo ambiri osakhala malo amodzi kwa nthawi yayitali. Ndikudziwa kuti ndikadakhala pachibwenzi chachikulu ndi msungwana uyu koma ED wanga, komanso cholepheretsa kusagonana pakati pathu, adachiwononga. Zomwe zidapangitsa kuti zinthu ziwonjezeke ndikuti ndidakhala ndi ukonde wabodza ngati njira yowerengera vuto langa. Kuyambira pamenepo ndabwera ndikumuwuza zonse koma, zomveka bwino, mabodzawa adakhudza kundidalira kwawo. Ndikulingalira zabodza zanga zambiri zimachokera pakusokonezeka kwathunthu pazomwe zikuchitika. Ndine wazaka 24, wokwanira kwambiri komanso wathanzi. Sindiyenera kukhala ndi ED! Nthawi ina iye adanenanso kuti achite. Iyi sinali njira yomwe ndinali wokonzeka kuyenda.
Dziko langa linali ngati litagwedezeka pamene ife tinapita njira yathu yosiyana. Ndatayika mtsikana woyamba yemwe ndimamukonda chifukwa cha ED. Ntchito yanga mumoyo inayamba kuthetsa vutoli.
Chifukwa chake nditawerenga zolemba zoyambiranso pa YBOP ndidaganiza zopita kuti ndisiye (palibe PMO). Chodabwitsa masiku awiri nditatsanzika kwa chibwenzi changa ndidakumana ndi mtsikana watsopano. Tidadina kwathunthu ndikukhala ndi usiku wabwino. Tinathera kwanga ndipo ndinafotokozera ndisanapite komwe ndimakhala kuti sindingachite chilichonse chogonana usiku womwewo (chifukwa ndinali nditangopatukana ndi bwenzi langa - komanso chifukwa ndinali nditangoyambiranso (ndidangokhala chete )). Gawo lalikulu la ine silinali lokonzeka.
Chifukwa chake tidabwerera ndikupanga ngati achinyamata kwa maola ambiri, akumva matupi a wina ndi mnzake, nthawi zonse atavala zovala zamkati. Tinkalankhula zambiri, kuseka, kufufuza. Kukhazikitsa malirewa kunapangitsa kuti zochitikazo zitheke. Sindikukumbukira kuti ndinali wolimba (anali kundiseka pang'ono ndikupsompsona kuzungulira mbolo yanga) koma amalemekeza malire anga. Pambuyo pake usiku womwewo adandiuza kuti akhala akusintha chibwenzi chake ndi kugonana. Sanagonane miyezi isanu ndi umodzi ndipo anali atapanga lamulo loti azingogonana ngati ali ndi malingaliro enieni.
Kuntchito tsiku lotsatira, ndidakhudzidwa pang'ono ndi zomwe zidandichitikirazo. Zinamveka posachedwa, ndipo sindinayambitsenso PMO. Ndinazisiya kwakanthawi, koma sindinathe kukonza zokakumana sabata yotsatira. Tinasangalala kwambiri limodzi ndipo mobwerezabwereza zinathera kuchipinda. Zonse zinali zachilengedwe ndipo palibe chomwe chidakakamizidwa ku gawo lathu lililonse. Sindinakakamize kalikonse ndipo ndinkangopita kunyumba kwake mosangalala ndikusiya ngati adafunsa. Tinakumananso ndi gawo lina lalitali. Zinkawoneka ngati zachilengedwe ndipo sindinali wokonda kugonana, kumangopita ndimayendedwe ndikusangalala ndi thupi lake. Zinkawoneka kuti ndife olumikizana kwambiri, ndipo sindinadandaule za magwiridwe antchito. Ndinali ndi chilichonse chomwe chimachitika, ndimaganiza. Tidagwirizana kuti sitigonana usiku womwewo. Anati ayenera kuganizira theka ndikutuluka m'chipindacho. Anabwerera ndipo tinapitiliza. Mwachiwonekere anali atadzipachika yekha pachigololo. Ndidampatsa chilakolako pogwiritsa ntchito zala zanga ndipo adandipatsa pakamwa. Nthawi ina ndinali wolimba koma kenako ndinayamba kuda nkhawa ndikuganiza kuti 'ndadzuka, kodi izi zipitilira' ndikuzitaya.
Kutacha m'mawa, tinakumbatirana, kuwononga zinthu, ndi kupsompsonana mwachikondi. Ndinadabwa nditamupatsa zibangili zitatu osavula ngakhale akabudula ake. Anandipatsa pakamwa, ndipo ndinali wolimba koma sindinathe kukhala ndi erection ndipo sindinachite bwino. Zosangalatsa zam'mlomo zimamveka zofewa, zodabwitsa kwambiri, komanso zosiyana ndi maliseche anga onse. Izi zidandichititsa kutsegula maso. Tinaletsa kugonana pa makhadi ndipo tinkasangalala pofufuza matupi a wina ndi mnzake. Panalibe mapeto omaliza. Tinangopita ndi kutuluka.
Kuyang'ana pa mbali yowala ndikukumana ndi mavuto anga ED adatsutsa ndi kundiphunzitsa zomwe zimapangitsa kugonana kwakukulu.
Kumene ine ndiri ndi vuto langa
- Sindinayang'ane zolaula kwa miyezi 4 tsopano. Ndine wotsimikiza kuti sindidzachitanso.
- Kuchita maliseche kwambiri kumatanthauza kuti ndinazolowera momwe ndimasangalalira ndikupangitsa ena kukhudzidwa kuti azimva alendo. Kugonana pakamwa mwachitsanzo kumakhala kofewa poyerekeza ndi momwe ndimakhalira maliseche. Ndikulingalira ndakhala ndikufunidwa kwambiri.
- Nditha kudzimva kuti ndikusintha ndikusangalala ndikakumana ndi zogonana zenizeni padziko lapansi.
- Ndimakhala wofunitsitsa kulumikizana ndi atsikana kuyambira nditasiya zolaula. Zili ngati akuwona china mwa ine tsopano. Ndikumva ngati ndakhala ndikusamaliridwa kwambiri ndi akazi m'miyezi ingapo yapitayi kuposa m'moyo wanga wonse.
Izi zimayambiranso
- Kupewa kwanga kwa PMO m'mbuyomu kunali ngozi. Sindinadziwe chilichonse chokhudza zolaula kapena momwe zimakhudzira magwiridwe antchito.
- Kuyambira pomwe mukuwerenga tsambali ndi YBOP zonse zimakhala zomveka.
- Kusayang'ana zolaula sikunakhale vuto (laperekedwa kale).
- Kuchita maliseche kumakhala kosangalatsa nthawi zina.
- Pitirizani kukhala ndi maloto ogonana. Ndikuwoneka kuti ndimaganizo olota ogonana ndikumadzuka kuti ndizindikire kuti palibe wina amene ali pabedi langa. Zachilendo kwambiri.
- Kupweteka kopweteka m'mipira yanga.
- Tsiku 11-19 - zovuta kuyang'ana ntchito. Kumverera pang'ono kwa kukhumudwa ndi kukwiya.
- Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi tsiku lililonse komanso kulimbitsa thupi kwanga sikundisiya ndikutopa tsiku lotsatira monga momwe angakhalire - monga othamanga izi ndizosangalatsa.
- Mega horny ndikadzuka tsiku la 19.
kugonana
Chifukwa chake ndikufuna kukumananso ndi mtsikanayu. Ndili ndi chidwi chofuna kukhala naye paubwenzi. Ndikufuna kugonana naye. Tikakumana ndidzakhala masiku 26 a PMO. Kodi ichi ndi chisankho chabwino? Kodi zolaula kudzera pakamwa kapena kugonana zingandibwezeretse? Ngati ikugwira ntchito ndipo ndilibe ED ndiye nditha kuyambiranso? Mwina chifukwa choyambiranso ndikuti nditha kugonana popanda kumasuka? Chifukwa chake ngati zonse zikuyenda bwino ndiye kuti nditha kuwona kuyambiranso kukhala kopambana ndikumaliza? Sindingadumphe kubwerera ku 5 patsiku lodziseweretsa maliseche, koma kamodzi pa sabata / masabata a 2 palibe zongopeka zomwe zimawoneka ngati zokhazikika. Ngati ndikhalabe ndikubwezeretsanso, ndimapitilira nthawi yayitali bwanji? Poyamba ndimaganiza masiku 60, koma sindikudziwika bwinobwino mukadziwa kuti zagwira ntchito…
Ndikukhulupirira kuti kuseweretsa maliseche kumabweretsa mavuto ambiri monga zolaula. Ndinazoloŵera kugwira ntchito mwamphamvu kwambiri ndipo ndikutsimikiza kuti izi zasokoneza mbolo yanga. Nditazolowera kuchuluka kwakukondweretsaku ntchito yophulika yofewa sinkawoneka ngati yanditembenukira. Kupatula apo ndidazolowera kuwongolera zochitika zanga zogonana (zindikirani kuti sindinachite zogonana panthawi yanga ya 1.5 ya PMO yoledzera). Mukamasewera panokha mumadziwa zomwe zimakusinthirani, kupanikizika, kukonza chilichonse. Chifukwa chake ukadzipeza uli ndi mkazi zikuwoneka kuti sizimveka bwino. Kwa ine kudula MO kunalola kuti thupi langa lisinthe momwe angakhudzire wina. Izi zimawoneka ngati zofunika kwambiri ngati kudula zolaula.
8-15
Dulani tsiku lozizira ndi dona wamkulu Ndimayenda bwino modabwitsa. Tinakhala usiku wozizira komwe timakhala tikumvetsera zolemba zakale za vinyl (sitinadziwe momwe osewera amasewera). Tinatenga zinthu pang'onopang'ono. Ndinkavutika kwambiri panthawi yamasewera, koma zosankha zanga zinali kubwera ndikupita. Sikunali kovuta konse pomwe anali kupsompsona mozungulira Dick wanga ngati zomangirira pakamwa. Gawo lathu lachiwerewere lidatenga maola angapo. Tidatha kugona kwinaku tikulumikizana ndikupsompsona. Ndinamva kulumikizana kwambiri ndi iye usikuwo.
Tinadzipeza tokha tikupsompsonana m'mawa mwake titadzuka kutulo. Ndinamva zodabwitsa kuyamba tsiku ngati ili. Kupsompsona kwanthawi yayitali, pang'onopang'ono, mofewa, tikugona nkhope ndi nkhope mbali zathu. Zinthu zidakulirakulira ndipo ndimagwedezeka mwamphamvu (ndimakonda kuchita zogonana m'mawa pomwe ndimakhala wowopsa kwambiri) pomwe tidali 'owuma' ine osavala, atavala kabudula wamkati. Anandipatsa pakamwa koma sindinavutike kwambiri ndipo sindinafike pachimake. Zinali zabwino ngakhale. Sitinayese kugonana usiku watha kapena m'mawa uno.
Ndayamba kudzifunsa ngati ED yanga tsopano ndi nkhawa m'malo moonera zolaula. Tikagona limodzi, kupsompsonana, kugwira, ndikumangidwa chifukwa sindikuganiza izi. Komabe ngati ayamba kundipsompsona ngati cholimbikitsira pakamwa / kugonana, malingaliro amabwera m'malingaliro mwanga okhalabe olimba, ndipo ndimatha. Izi zikuwoneka kuti ndizovuta kwambiri kuthetsa. Kudziwuza kuti mupumule, sangalalani, musadandaule ndi zina nthawi yomweyo kumatanthauza kuti ED ali m'maganizo mwanu. Ndikudziwa kuti izi sizikugwirizana ndi nkhawa zantchito. Samakakamiza, akuwoneka kuti akumvetsetsa, ndipo kuchokera pazoyankha zake ku china chilichonse chomwe tachita ndikudziwa kuti sindingakhale ndi nkhani zomusangalatsa.
Lero (tsiku 29) mipira yanga ikupweteka kuposa kale lonse. Ndizovuta kukhala pansi pakadali pano, ndipo ndikuyenera kusinthitsa mathalauza anga, zovala zamkati. Usiku watha ndipo m'mawa uno kunali kolimbikitsa kwambiri popanda O. Ziyenera kukhala ndi maola 4 okhudza 'kugonana'. Ndikanakonda M to O osati kuti O angochotsa zowawa izi.
Ndinakhumudwa kwambiri kuti ndikukhalabe ndi mavuto. Koma kuyeza izi kunali bwino kusiyana ndi tsiku 12 la kubwezeretsanso, zomwe zinkakhala bwino kuposa kuyambiranso kubwereza (pafupifupi nthawi zonse). Kotero ndikulingalira kuti ndikuyenera kukhala owona ndikuzindikira kuti zinthu zikupita patsogolo pang'onopang'ono. Kuleza mtima.
9-06
tsiku 47
Tidakhala limodzi kumapeto kwa sabata lathu lonse chifukwa inali yanga yomaliza mdziko muno. Tidaganiza zoyesa kugonana monga momwe ndinali m'masabata a 7 ndipo zinali zaposachedwa kwambiri kuti tisiye (Upangiri wa Marnia). Chifukwa chake ndidakhumudwitsidwa pomwe tsiku la 47 sindimatha kumva kugonana. Anabwera madzulo ndipo tinadya kwambiri. Koma ndili pabedi ndimangomva kuti zinthu sizingachitike. Ndinamuuza kuti ndilibe galimoto lero ndipo ati tipereka m'mawa.
tsiku 48
Loweruka m'mawa owopsa koma sitinayese. Anandilimbikitsa kwambiri ndinakhala wolimba kwambiri (bwino!) Koma sindinathe kukhala wosangalala. Kusisita ndi dzanja lake, khungu lake, mkamwa, lube. Zimamveka ngati thupi langa laiwala momwe angathere. Tidakhala tsikulo limodzi ndikukumana ndi anzathu kwa nthawi yoyamba. Ndidagwirizana naye bwino kwambiri ndipo tidakhala ndi usiku woipa. Tidafika kunyumba mochedwa ndipo tidaledzera kotero kuti tidakomoka.
tsiku 49
M'mawa sindinkaganiziranso zogonana. Ndine woopsa kwambiri m'mawa ndipo kukhudza kwake kumandipangitsa kuti ndipite nthawi yomweyo. Ankachita zomwe amakonda koma sindinali kuvuta konse. Kenako ndinamva kuti ndili ndi nkhawa. Ndayesetsa kwambiri pantchitoyi komabe sindinapeze ngakhale pang'ono zolimba. Ndinakwiya, ndinakhumudwa, ndipo kunena zoona ndinakwiya. Tinali titagona mbali zotsutsana za bedi. Ndimatha kumusangalatsa pogwiritsa ntchito zala zanga ndi pakamwa koma osatha kumva izi ndekha.
Panali mphindi 20 pomwe ndimamva zenizeni zakumva kwachisoni. Tidali titagona pabedi tili maliseche ndipo adandigoneka ngati mayi anga mwana wake. Mutu wanga unali atagona pamutu pake ndipo ndimayang'ana kutali ndi iye mumlengalenga. Ndinadzimva kukhala wopanda kanthu ndi wopanda kanthu; osathandiza ndi osatetezeka. Ndinatsala pang'ono kulira ndipo sindinathe kumuyang'ana m'maso. Ndidali ndi chiyembekezo chazomwe zayambitsidwenso ndipo 'kulephera' uku ndikuwopsa kwadzidzidzi komwe kudafika kunyumba. Ndinamuuza kuti sindimakonda anthu kundiwona chonchi. Ndinatsala pang'ono kuchoka monga ndikudziwira kuti palibe chifukwa chokhala pafupi ndi wina pomwe ndili mdziko lino.
Ndakhala ndikudwala matenda ovutika maganizo kuyambira ndili ndi zaka pafupifupi XNUMX; ndichinthu chomwe ndayesetsa kuchisunga kwa anthu ambiri. Zakhudza ubale wanga monga momwe ndimamvera nthawi zonse kuti ndi vuto langa osati lawo. Kutsegulidwa kungabweretse kusintha m'malingaliro awo za ine ndipo mwina kusintha machitidwe awo. Nanenso sindinkafuna. Mwakutero sindinatsegule kawirikawiri ndipo ndi ochepa omwe amadziwa kuti ndimavutika. Chosamvetseka ndichosiyana ndi 'chochitika' chachizolowezi momwe ndimamverera kuti ndikumangirira komwe kumandilola kuti ndikonzekere moyenera izi sizinachitike. Zinali zachilendo komanso zosokoneza pang'ono. Koma mwachangu momwe zimachitikira zidapita.
Nthawi zonse ndikamva izi ndisanakhale pamalo oyipa pakati pa masiku 1-3. Sindinakhalepo ndi kusintha kotere. Zinali ngati gawo lokhumudwitsa. Kukula konse kwachizolowezi chomenyedwa koma kanthawi kochepa chabe. Chozizwitsa. Ndakhala ndikuganiza za chifukwa chake nditha kutulukamo kuyambira pamenepo. Mwina ndi momwe amachitira? Sanataye mtima. Iye sanaweruze. Anasonyeza chifundo chenicheni. Amamvetsetsa kwathunthu ndipo amalankhula zazinthu zakale. Amanenadi kuti 'amaikonda' chifukwa yandipangitsa kukhala wosangalatsa kwambiri. Ndikulingalira ndinamva kukhala wolandiridwa kwathunthu monga ine; ziphuphu zoyipa ndi zonse.
Posakhalitsa ndidayamba kuseka ndipo ndidayamba kukhala wopanda nzeru. Ndinatsegulidwa ndipo ndili naye pamwamba ndinali wovuta kwambiri. Ndinamufunsa ngati akufuna kugonana. Zomwe ndimafuna ndikumuyika. Ndinadzuka kuti ndikapeze kondomu, ndinabwerera pa bedi, koma kenako ndinataya. Pazifukwa zina sindinakhumudwe kwambiri. Ndinaseka kuti wina anali ndi lingaliro losiyana ndikuti inali nthawi ya kadzutsa. Tonse tinaseka. Sindikudziwa ngati awa ndi gawo lathanzi. Erection + Condom = Kugonana & Kugonana = kuda nkhawa ndi nkhani za ED.
Tinakhala limodzi tsiku lonse. Adandiphikira chakudya chamasana ndipo tidakumbatirana kutsanzikana. Zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri. Ndikulingalira takhala tikudutsa zambiri ndipo kuyambiranso kumeneku kwapangitsa ubale wathu kukhala wowona mtima komanso wodalirika zomwe sizingamangidwe munthawi imeneyi. Kupitilira mwezi umodzi ndikumva kuti amandidziwa bwino kuposa wina aliyense. Anandithokoza chifukwa chomutulutsa mu funk. Ndinamuthokoza chifukwa chodekha komanso kumvetsetsa. Anaseka kuti 'hule' wina adzapeza zabwino za kuleza mtima kwake pomwe ine ndili kutali lol.
Masabata ena a 6 ndi tsogolo la kubwezeretsanso
Kotero tsopano ndikuyenda kwa masabata 6. Sindimaganiza kuti ndifunikira kuyambiranso ndikupita masiku 90 zikuwoneka ngati nthawi yochulukirapo. Pakadali pano ndili ndi nkhawa ndi matupi anga kutha kutulutsa umuna. Gawo lina la ine limafuna M kudzikumbutsa ndekha momwe O alili. Zimamveka ngati kukumbukira kwakutali.
Ndikufunanso kudziwa ngati pali zinthu zina zomwe zikukhudza kugonana kwanga kotero ndasankha kukhala wathanzi momwe ndingathere. Ndikufuna kuwona momwe chilengedwe changa chilili. Zili ngati kuyambiranso uku kwandipanga kukhala woyeserera pang'ono. Mapazi anga ndi awa:
- Ndasiya kusuta - Ndinachita mopusa posachedwapa nditatha zaka 3.5 ndasiya zopusa. Sindikuphonya, ndikudziwa kuti ndikhoza kusiya, koma ndikuyembekeza kuti sindivutika.
- Chepetsani mowa - Ndinaganiza zosiya kwathunthu koma izi zimawoneka ngati zovuta. Ndikulingalira zakumwa zochepa zakumwa ndizabwino, ndikumamwa mowa mwauchidakwa komwe ndi nkhani zoipa.
- Siyani Kafeini - Kupatula kukoma kwa tiyi, sindinapeze mankhwala ena abwino, sindiphonya.
- Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi m'chilengedwe, kukwera, kuthamanga, kupalasa njinga ndikupeza dzuwa.
- Kupuma pantchito kasitomala - kuchepetsa nkhawa.
Zokhudza kugonana mnzanga sadzapezeka kwakanthawi tsopano. Sitikupita kunja kotero kuti sitikukhala ndi akazi amodzi. Ine ndamuuza iye kuti apite akapeze munthu wamkulu. Ineyo patokha sindiri pakasaka kuti ndikaikidwe koma ndimatseguka ndikakumana ndi wina 'wapadera'. Kupatula apo ndikhale ndikukhazikitsanso kuyambiranso kwa PMO. Tidzakumananso ndikadzabweranso ndikuwona momwe timamvera nthawi imeneyo.
9-11
Alamu amatha 7am, pabedi nthawi ya 7:30. Kunja kwa nyumba ya 8. Ndizosadabwitsa kwa ine. Ndidawerenga a Blog positi zomwe zimati nthawi yomwe umagona zilibe kanthu, chofunikira ndikukhala ndi nthawi yodzuka nthawi zonse. Anati muyenera kungogona mukatopa kwambiri simungathe kukhalabe otseguka. Kaya ndiyiti 8 o wotchi pa 1 o koloko zilibe kanthu. Kuwerenga ndi njira yabwino yotopetsa. Ndikhala ndikuyesera njirayi maulendo anga onse.
Ndimakonda momwe kudzuka m'mawa kumakupatsani inu kumverera kwa '' kusangalala ndi tsikulo '. Komabe ndimamva kuti ndafafanizidwa masana, mwina chifukwa chochita masewera olimbitsa thupi m'mawa womwe sindinazolowere. Ndinali kuwerenga ndipo sindinathe kutsegula maso anga choncho ndinaganiza zopuma pang'ono. Mphindi 30 ndipo ndinali kubwerera tsiku langa. Komabe ndimamva kutopa pang'ono pakadali pano. Ndikulingalira thupi langa liyenera kusintha. Zikuyenda bwino pakadali pano eti? Palibe mowa, ndudu, tiyi kapena khofi, kugona pang'ono, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi / kusiyanasiyana, kupewa chiwerewere. Mwina sakudziwa zomwe zikuchitika!
Zosintha zam'mawa tsopano ndizofanana. Ndinali ndi 'sewero' posambira kuti ndione cheke chomwe ndimatha kuwongoka. Sizinatengere khama ndipo sindinkagwiritsa ntchito zopeka. Nditaimirira ndinatsiriza 'nthawi yosewerera'. Ndili pamalo akutali kwambiri kumapiri kotero sindinakhale ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza ndi akazi. Ndikumva ngati mmonke wachibuda pakadali pano. Kuwerenga zambiri, kuganiza, kulemba. 'Kupulumuka' kumeneku kunali kutha kale
11-06
Kotero ndine munthu wokondwa kwambiri lero. Kuyambiranso kunagwira. Pambuyo pa miyezi iwiri yakulekana ndinayanjananso ndi mayi anga usiku watha. Gawo la ine silinkatsimikiza za momwe zinthu zidzayendere. Kodi tikadapitilirabe monga tidachitira tonsefe tisanayende? Kodi padzakhalabe zokopa? Koma titawonana zinali zowonekeratu. Kumwetulira kwakukulu pankhope zathu zonse. Ndidayenda ndipo osalankhula chilichonse tidakhala ndi kupsompsonana kwakutali. Zinali zosangalatsa kukhala naye m'manja mwanga. Monga ngati palibe nthawi idadutsa. Omasuka monga kale. Monga tadziwana kwa zaka.
Kubwerera kwawo komweko zonse zimangoyenda. Ndakhala ndikumva bwino posachedwa, chilimbikitso chokhazikika chogonana, zoyeserera zazikulu m'mawa. Ndinkadziwa kuti zinthu zitha kugwira ntchito koma panali chikaiko chaching'ono m'malingaliro mwanga. Chilichonse chinagwira ntchito. Tidagona usiku wonse tikugonana. Tikakhala limodzi (tsiku 1 - 49) tinkakonda kusewera m'mawa chifukwa zogonana zanga sizinali usiku.
Tsopano ngakhale ndimamwa mowa kwambiri kuphwando ndinali nyama usiku wonse. Nthawi iliyonse ndimakhala wovuta mosavuta ndikukhala ndi erection yolimba nthawi yonse yogonana. Timapitilizabe kunena kuti timafunikira kugona kenako m'modzi wa ife amayambitsa ndikupitanso. Tidayamba kugona m'manja nthawi ya 3am koma ndidadzuka ola limodzi kutipeza tikugonana. Zinali zodabwitsa. Ndiyamba kugonana naye mtulo! Anatinso adadzidzimuka modabwitsa. Anandiuza kuti abwezera zabwino m'mawa.
Lero m'mawa ndinadzuka kwa iye kuti andipatse ntchito yovuta. Tinagonana kachiwiri. Sitinathe kuyanjana. Ndidanyamuka m'mawa kwambiri popeza anali ndi ntchito yoti agwire ndipo ndidati palibe njira yoti atuluke pakama ndikadakhalapo. Ndinadzuka kuti ndivale koma ndinali ndikumangirira.
Gawo lomwe ndimakonda usiku linali mawonekedwe okongola omwe adandipatsa titagonana koyamba. Chimwemwe chotere kuti pamapeto pake tinali pano ndipo tinakhazikika. Ndidamva kulumikizidwa kwambiri ndikukopeka naye munthawiyo. China choposa kukopeka ndi mphamvu zakugonana. Sindimakonda mawu oti 'zauzimu' koma mwina ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yofotokozera.
Kudutsa gawo loyamba loyambiranso naye kunali kovuta nthawi zina. Anali wamkulu, womvetsetsa komanso wodekha. Sanandikakamize. Sanathenso kuwonetsa kukhumudwa. Koma ndimadziwa kuti zidamuvuta. Ndinakwiya komanso kukhumudwitsidwa nthawi zina ndimaganiza kuti kuyambiranso ntchito yamatsenga koma ndimakumanabe ndi mavuto a ED. Anandiuza kuti inali nthawi chabe. Tidzatha kugonana pamapeto pake. Kaya zinali lero, mawa, kapena mwezi wamawa sanadandaule. Koma ndinali ndimalingaliro kuti ngati sichingagwire ntchito posachedwa samangokhala.
Ndikuganiza momwe adangovomera vuto langa zinali zodabwitsa. Sanathamange. Iye sanaweruze. Ndidawona kuti azikakhala nthawi yovuta komanso yabwino. Mwina mutha kukhala pachibwenzi zaka zambiri osawona mawonekedwe amenewo. Kukhala ndi vuto logawana, makamaka limodzi lofunikira kwambiri pachibwenzi, kwatibweretsa pafupi. Mwanjira ina imayika zovuta zamabanja moyenera.
Komabe pali vuto limodzi. Sindinatenge umuna. Tinagonana kangapo, nthawi iliyonse ndikathandizidwa thanthwe lolimba koma silinatengepo kanthu. Tinapita maola ndi maola ambiri. Iye anali ndi chiwonongeko pambuyo pa chiwonongeko.
Anangosamukira kunyumba ndi okwatirana nawo atsopano ndipo anali wamanyazi ndikufuula kwachisangalalo usiku! Ndinamutopetsa kwathunthu. Chifukwa cha magwiridwe antchito omwe anali abwino koma sindikudziwa chifukwa chomwe sindinasangalalire. Ndinali wopusa kwambiri, ndikulakalaka kwambiri, koma sindinamve kuti ndikumayandikira. Ndinaganiza kuti nditakhala osamasulidwa kwa nthawi yayitali zosemphana ndi zomwe zingachitike ndipo ndimangodzichotsa ndikangolowa.
Mwanjira inali yabwino kuti ndipitilize. Nditataya chidaliro chambiri chakugonana paubwenzi wanga wakale wa ED zinali zodabwitsa kukhala olamulira bwino. Kukhala omasuka kwathunthu, wodalirika, wopanda nkhawa, wopambana. Ndidamwa kwambiri dzulo ndiye mwina izi zidakhudza. Koma m'mawa uno zinali chimodzimodzi. Fufuzani ntchito ndi kugonana (motalika) koma osamaliza. Malingaliro aliwonse? Kodi ichi ndi chinthu chomwe ena obwezeretsanso apeza?
Ponena zamtsogolo sindikutsimikiza kwathunthu pa pulani yanga. Ndikufuna kuseweretsa maliseche pompano. Kukhala ndi chiwonetsero chazidziwitso mwachitsanzo maloto osanyowa. Sindikudziwa momwe chizolowezi changa choyenera kuseweretsa maliseche chizikhala. Pali gawo lina la ine lomwe limaganiza kuti mwina sindikufuna kuseweretsa maliseche. Ndiyenera kungopeza zosangalatsa zanga zogonana. Gawo lina limaganiza kuti mwina zili bwino ngati ndizingosewera mopanda tanthauzo. Ndikungodziwa kuti sindikufuna kuterera.
11-17 (Tsiku 121, Mavuto akuukitsa)
Ndinakumana ndi msungwana wanga pambuyo pa zomwe ndimamva ngati sabata lalitali kwambiri komanso theka la kukhala wopatukana. Ndinali wokondwa ndikuyembekeza kugonana koma ndinali ndikumverera pang'ono m'mutu mwanga tsiku lonse. Kodi nthawi yomaliza yopambana inali itachoka?
Tinakhala usiku wozizira kunyumba kwake; chakudya, vinyo, kupsompsonana, kukwatirana, kukopana, kuseka. Titatha kudya tidalimbikitsidwa ndikupita kuchipinda. Ndimakumbukira ndikutsika pakhonde ndikukwera kwakukulu. Koma mchipinda chake zidapita. Palibe. Kotero ndangotsala ndi zala zanga ndi lilime. Usiku umakhala wazonse za iye. Amazikonda koma mwachizolowezi ndimaona ngati wasiyidwa. Sindingapeze chisangalalo chilichonse inemwini. Sindingakhale wamkulu wanga. Zokhumudwitsa. Ndimamuuza kuti ndimakhala ndikuganiza zongomugwirira ntchito tsiku lonse. Amati mwa njira yake yoleza mtima komanso yomvetsetsa 'Tidzangodikirira' ndikumwetulira.
Cha m'ma 4am ndimadzuka kupita kuchimbudzi. Nditabwerera pabedi amadandaula ndikundikumbatira. Timadzikakamiza tulo ndipo dzanja lake limakhala pa tambala wanga mosadziwa. Ndimatsegulidwa omwe amawawona ndikuyamba kundisisita. Ndimampsompsona kwambiri pamene akuyamba kugwiritsa ntchito manja onse awiri. Tsopano ndakhazikika kwathunthu, kuuma kwathunthu. Ndimamukoka pafupi ndi ine ndipo amatsogolera tambala wanga mkati mwake. Timagonana kwa mphindi zochepa ndipo zimamveka zodabwitsa. Kenako tonse timazindikira kuti izi ndi zopusa kwambiri chifukwa sindikuvala kondomu ndipo iye sali pamapiritsi. Ndizo zonse zomwe tikufuna koma timakana kukopa. Timasewera pang'ono kenako tulo.
Lero m'mawa andidzutsa ndi ntchito yowawa koma mwachizolowezi sindimataya umuna. Pambuyo pa mphindi 10 ndimamukoka kuti adze kwa ine ndikupsompsonana. Amapita kukasamba ndipo ndimachita maliseche chifukwa cha chidwi koma sindingakhale wovuta. Kuchita maliseche kumamveka kosamveka. Amabwerera mchipinda, kuvala zodzoladzola zantchito, kenako nati tili ndi mphindi 20 zosewerera. Akugwetsa mkanjo wake, nayenda kudutsa mchipindacho, nakhala pa ine. Kumverera kwa khungu lake lofewa, mabere ake pankhope panga, kununkhiza kwake; Ndimayatsa kwambiri. Imeneyi inali mbali yochititsa chidwi yoyerekeza poyerekeza. Ndizosangalatsa kudziwona ndekha ndikumvera kwambiri momwe mayi amakhudzidwira komanso kupezeka m'malo mmanja mwanga. Momwemo momwe zinthu ziyenera kukhalira.
Zonsezi zinali thumba losakanikirana. Ndinaganiza kuti titatha usiku watha limodzi kuti ndakhazikika. Izi zinali zosayembekezereka, zosasangalatsa, komanso zosokoneza. Kodi chinali chiyani madzulo? Kodi ndimadziyesa ndekha ndikulingalira za izi? Tinasuta cholumikizira tisanadye chakudya chomwe mwina chimakhudza…
Pakati pausiku ndinalibe vuto kupeza kapena kukhala wolimba. Nanga zinali zosiyana bwanji pamenepo? Ndili mtulo ndinalibe malingaliro, panalibe zoyembekezera, zinangochitika. Tikakhala limodzi kumapeto kwa sabata zingapo tinagonana usiku wonse ndipo ndinali wovuta nthawi yonseyi. Inenso ndinali woledzera kotero sindimaganizanso zambiri. Kutengera ndi zochitika ziwirizi ndikutsimikiza kuti vutoli tsopano ndiolingalira chabe. Ndiyenera kuphunzira kuti ndipeze mkhalidwe wopanda malingaliro kapena zodandaula mwachilengedwe. Zophweka zonena kuposa kuchita. Kupumula, kupuma, osayembekezera. Ndayesera zonsezi. Ndizovuta kwa ine kuganiza mozama za zinthu ndi gawo lalikulu la chikhalidwe changa.
China chake ndikuti ndikupeza makondomu andipha ine. Timamasula zodzichitira pawokha ndipo ndimamasula kumiza ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimamangidwa. Ndikulingalira zokambirana naye za kumwa mapiritsi. Zachidziwikire kuti ndiye chisankho chake. Adalankhulapo kale ndipo sanatchule zovuta zake kupatula mabere akulu. Ndikakhala ndi erection ndikufuna kuyigwiritsa ntchito nthawi yomweyo m'malo moyendetsa gauntlet ya kondomu.
Ndachoka kwawo m'mawa uno ndili ndi mutu wodzaza ndi malingaliro olakwika komanso kusatetezeka. Kodi ndithetsa vutoli? Kodi moyo wanga wogonana nthawi zonse uzikhala chonchi? Kodi izi zikuyenera? Amakonda kugonana kwambiri. Ndikumva ngati ndikufuna kuti apite kukapeza mwamuna wina. Kapenanso timayesa mwezi wina ndipo ngati sizigwira ntchito ndiye kuti timangosiya. Chifukwa chilichonse chogonana chotere ndimakhala nacho chimandigwetsa. Sananene chilichonse za izi. Gawo lina la ine ndikudabwitsidwa kuti akadali ndi ine. Ndikumva ngati ndikufunsa chifukwa chake. Bwanji simunataye izi? Ndikuganiza kuti ayenera kundikonda.
Zimayamwa chifukwa china chilichonse pakati pathu chimamva bwino. Ndife omasuka limodzi. Ndiye munthu yemwe ndikufuna kumuwona. Tikamatsanzikana zimakhala ngati tinalibe nthawi yokwanira limodzi. Ndikufuna kuti akhalebe m'manja mwanga. Pali zambiri zomwe ndikufuna kuti ndiyankhule naye, zambiri zomwe ndikufuna kudziwa. Sindikudziwa ngati akumva koma ndikuganiza kuti mwina ndingakondane.
Mwambiri sindine munthu wopanda chitetezo koma izi zidandidetsa nkhawa. Ndataya kale mtsikana amene ndimamukonda wochokera ku ED. Sindikufuna kuti izi zichitike. Ndikufuna kuti tikhale ndi ubale wabwino. Ndikufuna kuti tizikhala ndi moyo wabwino wogonana, sindikufuna kuti zikhale motere. Ndiyenera kulankhula naye koma nthawi yomweyo sindikufuna kumuumiriza. Sindikufuna kuti azimva kuti ali ndi udindo wokhala pachibwenzi ichi.
Ndipo zonsezi chifukwa gawo la thupi langa silikuyenda bwino. Wopenga!
11-18
Ndikulingalira kuti ndimayang'ana kuyambiranso ngati yankho la 100%. Osangokhala PMO ndipo mudzabwerera mwakale. Ndikudziwa kuti zimafunikanso kugwira ntchito pa iwe wekha komanso nthawi mukamaliza. Gahena, pomwe tidakumana koyamba mbolo yanga inali itatsala pang'ono kufa. Nthawi ziwiri zomaliza takhala limodzi tinagonana. Ndikangolowa, palibe vuto kukhalabe olimba. Pakhala kusintha kwakukulu. Zinthu zikungokhala bwino.
Kugonana ndi nthawi yolumikizana, nthawi yokhala pachibwenzi ndi pafupi. Ndikufuna kugonana kosalolera kuti ndimve kulumikizana kumeneku ndi iye m'malo mongomva chilakolako chomwecho. Zomwe ndiyenera kuphunzira ndikukhazikitsa bata malingaliro anga. Kodi ndikuvutikira? Ndili wolimba bwanji tsopano? Chifukwa chiyani sindili wovuta panthawiyi? Ndisanakhale ndi vuto ili sindimadziwa za ED kotero malingaliro awa sanali m'malingaliro mwanga. Ndinali womasuka komanso kusangalala ndi mphindiyo. Koma tsopano ndili ndi zambiri zakumbuyo zakugonana. Ndikuganiza kuti zingotenga nthawi kuti muchotse izi.
Kumiza ndiye kiyi. Mwathupi ndakhazikika. Kupumula, kupuma, kusilira thupi lake lokongola ndikukhalanso. Ndinaganiziranso zochitika zomwe zinthu zidasinthidwa. Ngati mtsikana ameneyu anali ndi nkhawa zokhudzana ndi thupi lake kapena kugonana, kapena kuyenda kotsika kwambiri sindikanatha kuthamanga. Ndimamukonda kwambiri. Ndikanakhala ndikumuthandiza komanso kuthana ndi vuto lililonse. Chibwenzi chathu chimangopitilira kugonana kwanthawi zonse. Ndi iyeyo, munthu yemwe ndimakondana naye. Kukonda kwake, ukazi, chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro, luntha, nthabwala, zododometsa, zozizwitsa, ndi zododometsa. Kudziwa izi ndi momwe amamvera kumachotsa kukayika. Zinali zoyesa kuganiza mozama.
Ndikusiya kujambula kuwerengera tsiku chifukwa sikuwoneka kuti kukuyeneranso. Kwa zolinga zonse, kuyambiranso kwatha. Sindigwiritsanso ntchito zolaula. Ndinganene izi motsimikiza kwathunthu. Kuwona chithunzi cha mtsikana wamaliseche pakompyuta? Izi zimamveka ngati moyo wakale womwe sukundisangalatsa tsopano. Ndachotsa choletsa changa pa O ndi mnzanga ndipo ndikuganiza zosakanikirana ndi MO mosaganizira.
Za ubalewo ndikutha kuwona tsogolo lenileni pakati pathu. Mosiyana ndi maubwenzi ena omwe ndidayamba sindimadzimva kuti ndili ndi chisangalalo kapena chosiyana, ndikuchita mantha kapena mantha. Zimangokhala zabwino komanso zachilengedwe. Kulondola. Anandifunsa kuti ndizikhala naye, ndemanga yoyipa popeza ndikufunafuna malo mumzinda. Tonse tinaseka ndipo tinati ili lingakhale lingaliro loipa pakadali pano koma ndizosangalatsa kuti anali ndi malingaliro amenewo. Ndimayenda kwambiri, ndikugawa nthawi yanga pakati pa mayiko awiri, chifukwa chake ndichinthu chomwe ndidasangalala nacho ngati chotheka. Angadziwe ndani. Tsiku ndi tsiku. Palibe vuto. Palibe tanthauzo. Kungokhala munthawiyo ndikusangalala nayo chifukwa chake.
11-21
Ndinapita kunyumba kwa mayi anga Lamlungu kuti ndikawasamalire ndikumubweretsera chisangalalo pamene anali kudwala (mutu, pakhosi). Alinso kusamba. Zabwino zonse! Koma kwenikweni inali yozizira kwambiri ndipo anali wofatsa kwenikweni, wachifundo, komanso womasuka. Ndi nthawi yoyamba kukhala nthawi yayitali limodzi (maola 24 +) chibwerereni. Maola amawoneka ngati akudutsa ngakhale kuti nthawi zambiri timangogona pabedi, kumvera nyimbo, kukumbatirana, ndi kusewera. Sizimasangalatsa ndipo sizisangalatsa. Tinakhala usiku wonse tikugona wina ndi mnzake m'manja. Anatinso sanachitepo izi kale popeza amafunikira malo ake kuti agone. Kukumbatirana kwambiri ndikupsompsona, ma oxytocin kudutsa padenga!
Tinakambirana momasuka kwambiri. Tonsefe tinavomereza poyera kuti ndife odzipereka. Tinagwirizana kuti tizitenga tsiku limodzi nthawi imodzi ndikuwona komwe zinthu zimapita. Palibe kukakamiza. Anati ngati zinthu sizigwira ntchito titha kukhala abwenzi. Ndidayenera kufotokoza kuti mwatsoka izi sizotheka. Ndicho chiopsezo chomwe timatenga kutenga nawo mbali. Anandiuzanso momwe zimawonekera zopanda pake kuti awone wina aliyense chifukwa sizingafanane ndi izi. Adavomereza poyera kuti amandimva ndipo ndikadakhala wansanje ndikakhala ndi mtsikana wina. Mfundo imodzi yomwe ndimaganiza yosangalatsa ndi kusiyana kwake pakati pa kugonana ndi munthu wina wakale pomwe panali mbiri yokhudza usiku umodzi. Kwa ine palibe kutengeka mu ONS kotero ndizopanda tanthauzo pomwe wokonda wakale samayang'ana kutsogolo. Iye anaganiza zosiyana. Zinali chifukwa panali zomverera zomwe zidalungamitsidwa. Kumbali ina ONS ndi 'cholakwa' chachikulu chifukwa chosowa kuya; kudzipereka kwa mlendo mosavuta. Zikuwoneka kuti apa panali pang'ono kusiyana kwamalingaliro achimuna.
Ndidafunsa chifukwa chomwe amamangirira ngakhale anali ndi vuto la ED pomwe adayankha kuti amakonza zina mwazakugonana panthawiyo ndipo zinali bwino kundidziwa ndisanalowe mgulu lachiwerewere lomwe lingangomusokoneza. Ananenanso kuti ndi chikhalidwe chake kusamalira komanso kukhala mayi kwa omwe amawasamalira. Amafuna kuti anthu akhale athunthu ndipo achita zonse zomwe angathe kuti athandize.
Ndinamuuza kuti chinthu chomwe ndimakonda kwambiri ndi kuwona mtima. Sindikufuna kuti pakhale zinsinsi kapena mabodza pakati pathu. Ndidati sindidzakwiya kapena kumuweruza chilichonse chomwe andiuza. Ndikufuna kuti ndimudziwe, iyeyu, ma bads onse ndi zina zonse. Tinagwirizana kuti tiyambe kutsegula tokha wina ndi mnzake.
Ndikukhalabe ndi vuto losatulutsa umuna. Zomlomo ndi zamanja; nthawi iliyonse ndikatsegulidwa, kupuma kosalamulirika, koma sindingathe kumaliza. Ndizosamvetseka kwenikweni, sindimapeza chomwe chili chopinga. Nthawi ina ndidagunda 'pachimake' ndikuganiza kuti ndikupita kwa O. Ndinali ndi chidwi chachikulu koma zinali ngati sindingadzukenso. Chifukwa chake ndidayamba kuyenda mofewa. Zinali ngati O wopanda umuna. Thupi langa lonse linali kulira pambuyo pake ndipo ndinali ndi mwayi wokhala ndi malo osangalala O kuwala. Sindinamvepo zotere.
Ndikuwonanso zochitika zina. Tikakhala kunja kwa chipinda chogona ndipo zinthu sizingakwere ndimayamba kutseguka ndikulimba. Ndiye tikamalowa kuchipinda ndimapita ndikufa pansi. Zimatengera kumuwona kwake akutsegulidwa kuti andilimbikitse, ndichifukwa chake nthawi zambiri sizigwira ntchito akungondisangalatsa. Ndikufuna kudyetsa kudzuka kwake. Zitha kutenga ola limodzi ndisanakhale pamalo oyenera amisala.
Ndiye pali mfundo yoti nthawi zonse ndimadzuka mozungulira 4 kapena 5 m'mawa ndipo ndimakhala wopusa kwambiri. Kukhala ndi thupi lake lamaliseche pafupi ndi ine ndikumva kuwawa. Ndatsegulidwa ndipo chinthu chomwe ndidapanga chili mmanja mwanga koma ndili mtulo. Sindingagone ndipo kudzuka pabedi nthawi imeneyo sikumveka. Chifukwa chake 'ndimayang'ana' ngati wagalamuka. Ndikumva ngati ndikumudzutsa, makamaka usiku watha momwe amafunikira kuti agone, koma sindingathe kudzithandiza ndekha pakadali pano. Thupi lake limandipangitsa misala. Anandiuza kuti amakonda kudzutsidwa ndikundipeza wotentha komanso wokonda. Ndichinthu china chokhudzana ndi kugona chomwe chimapangitsa kuti chimveke ngati loto ndipo sindiganiza za china koma mphindi. Nthawi zonse ndimakhala wolimba nthawi ino. Timasewera pang'ono kenako nkugwa mulu osapumira kuti tibwererenso ku tulo. Ndimakonda kwambiri pakati pausiku kugonana.
Zomwe zimapangidwa pakati pathu pakadali pano ndizabwino kwambiri. Ndimakhala ndi lingaliro la nthawi yachisangalalo koma sitingaleke kuthana. Kungokhala ndi iye kumanditembenuzira ine, zomwe zimamupangitsa iye, kenako kuzungulira kumayamba. Tonsefe timafuna kugonana kwambiri. Timalankhula za izi, kulingalira, kuyerekezera momwe timauzirana zomwe tikufuna kuchita. Amandiuza zomwe akufuna ndikundimva ndikulowa mwa iye. Ndikufuna, akufuna. Chifukwa chake ndizowawa kuti zinthu sizikuyenda (ine kapena chilengedwe). Sabata yamawa tiwona zomwe zichitike.
Pomaliza ndidaganiza zodziseweretsa maliseche ndikafika kunyumba. Inali nthawi yoyamba m'masiku 125+! Ndinkafunika kumva O. Ndinayesetsa kuti ndisamagwiritse ntchito zozizwitsa koma sindinkavuta. Chifukwa chake ndimayang'ana kwambiri za iye, ndikuganiza za zomwe tidachita, ndikuganiza zogonana naye pazenera m'chipinda chake, kapena pampando kukhitchini. Kugwiritsa ntchito malingalirowa ndikhoza kukhala ndi zovuta. Zinkawoneka zachilendo kukhala maliseche. Nthawi ina ndimakhala wovuta mwina mphindi 5 ndisanatuluke. Sindinawonepo umuna wochuluka chonchi m'moyo wanga. Ndimangowombera mopitilira. Payenera kuti panali kubwereranso kwakukulu pakudziletsa. Chiwonongekocho chinali chachikulu.
Ndine wokondwa kuti ndinachita MO. Zinali zazitali kwambiri ndipo ndimafunikira kukumbukira momwe O amamvera. Koma bwanji sindingachite izi pamaso pake? Mavuto onse ali m'mutu mwanga koma sindikudziwa njira yopita patsogolo. Pumulani, pumani, khalani olowa m'thupi lake ndikukhala. Ndimayesa zinthu zonsezi koma sindingathe kulowa nthawi yanga yogonana.
11-28
Ife potsiriza tinasokoneza vuto la kuchepa kwa kuchedwa. Ndinali ndi nthawi yoyamba pamaso pake. Ndinkafuna gehena imodzi yokondweretsa kwambiri kuti andipatse ine komweko koma ndiyomweyo! Iye anali wokondwa kwambiri. Ndinkasangalala ndi ine komanso kwa iyemwini ponena kuti amadzimva kuti sangakwanitse kunditenga (zomwe zimasintha pa vuto lachiwerewere la amuna ndi akazi).
Pambuyo pake awiri otsatirawa anali osavuta komanso achilengedwe. Zinkawoneka ngati ndaswa malingaliro. Ndakhala ndikuganizira zomwe zidapangitsa kuti ndikuchedwa kutaya nthawi yakugonana 'vuto'. Ndinkadziletsa kuti ndisawonongeke panthawi yomwe ndinayambiranso. Ndidawerenganso positi ya blog yoyambiranso yomwe idati chiwonetsero ndi chibwenzi chake chachepetsa kuyambiranso. Chifukwa chake ndidaganiza zopewera zolaula nthawi yogonana komanso M. Ndikuletsa zokakamiza zonse zikakhala zolemera kwambiri (mipira yabuluu galore). Chifukwa chake mwina ndikaganiza kuti yakwana nthawi yoti O malingaliro anga adapangidwa kuti azitsutsa. Ndiye ndimayesetsa mwakhama ndipo izi zimapangitsa kuti zisakhale zotheka. Ndimakonda upangiri wa Marnia woti ayesere kusinthana ndi ma psychology "Dziwuzeni kuti simukufuna kutulutsa umuna ngakhale utakhala bwanji… ndipo mudzatero".
Pazinthu zina zonse, zikuyenda bwino koma pali zovuta zina zoti muchite. Ndikukumana ndi mavuto ndikumasula erection yanga ndikayamba kondomu. Ndikumva ngati zosunthika zanga zikadali 'zosalimba' pakadali pano. Gawo lowonjezerali limangowonjezera zovuta. Chifukwa chake tidagwiritsa ntchito njira yochotsera, yomwe tonsefe tidanena kuti sitingachitenso (zonse zoyera ndi matenda opatsirana pogonana koma nkhawa za pakati) popeza zikungofunsa mavuto (ngakhale zimangowonjezera kuyambiranso kosangalatsa kwa kugonana). Ngati sindili wolimba ndimatha kutsimikizira kuti ndikumangika bwino ndikangolowa molimba kapena molimba. Ndizothekanso kugonana ngakhale nditakhala kuti sindili bwino, pomwe kondomu imamasulidwa. Tidakambirana za iye kumwa mapiritsi. Sananene kuti sangatchule zotsatira zake zoyipa komanso kukumbukira kwake (anatchula jakisoni m'malo mwake). Anatinso nthawi zonse amagwiritsa ntchito kondomu akamamwa mapiritsi. Ndidamuuza kuti sindikufuna kuti achite chilichonse chomwe sakufuna, ndiye tithana ndi makondomu!
Masabata awiri kufikira pomwe tidzakumanenso, koma mwanjira ina 'zovuta' zimatipangitsa kusangalala ndi nthawi yathu limodzi.
12-07
Chifukwa cha moyo wathu wotanganidwa komanso ubale wautali kwambiri timapindula kwambiri tikakhala pamodzi. Anayambira pamlomo kwa O asanadye chakudya. Tisanagona tinagonana. Ndinadziimitsa kuchoka ku O. Tinadzuka pakati pa usiku, tinagonana ndipo ine ndinali ndi O. Tsiku lotsatira ndimadzuka, ndikugonana (15 maminiti). Sindinali wovuta kwathunthu. Iye ali pamwamba omwe sindiwo malo omwe ndimawakonda. Ndimakhala ndikugona pang'ono, ndinasiya kumaliseche popanda O.
Sindidali wovuta pakufuna. Ndakhala womasuka kukhala wamaliseche ndi iye. Koma ndikuganiza kuti tonse tili ndi mwayi wowerengera matupi athu. Ndine wokonda kwambiri pakati pausiku, zomwe timapezerapo mwayi. Kugonana ku 4 m'mawa kumamveka ngati maloto. Ndi chinthu chosakomoka kwenikweni, zimangowoneka ngati zikuchitika tikamagona pabedi. Ndizogonana modabwitsa pomwe ndimadzimva kuti ndilipo. Ndilibe nkhawa iliyonse. Palibe zoyembekezera nthawi imeneyo. Ndikuyesera kuti ndifike poti ndikhoza kulowa m'boma nthawi zonse. Kuwona kugonana ngati chosangalatsa kotheratu, mchitidwe wapamtima, popanda kukhala ndi nkhawa, nkhawa, kukayika.
Waganiza zokamwa mankhwala. Ndikumva kuwawa pang'ono chifukwa ndikudziwa ngati sindinali ndimavuto ndi kondomu ndiye kuti samayenera kutero. Koma njira yochotsera ikutiwopsyeza tonsefe ndipo ikutilepheretsa kuti ndidzibweretsetse kwathunthu.
Kuyambiranso kumawoneka ngati gawo lofunikira. Zakhala zochulukirapo kuposa kungobwezeretsa mbolo yanga kuti igwire ntchito. Zanditengera kumalo komwe chibwenzi chachikulu chimamveka ngati chinthu chachilengedwe. Ndikuganiza kuti sindinamvetsetse chifukwa chomwe anthu angafunire kukhala zibwenzi kale. Ndikulingalira PMO anali malo anga otonthoza. Zomwe zimachitika kuti osagonana (osalowerera) kwa miyezi ingapo yoyambirira zimatanthauza kuti timadziwana bwino. Adakhala ndikumverera kwachikondi cha kusekondale.
Ndikusuntha sabata yamawa ndipo kwa nthawi yoyamba tidzakhala pafupi; kuyenda pang'ono mphindi 10 pakati pa nyumba zathu. Ndikulingalira kuti tikamakhala mbali zazikulu za moyo wa anzathu tidzayamba kudziwa kuti izi ndi chiyani komanso ngati pali tsogolo. Zowopsa koma zosangalatsa nthawi yomweyo.
01-03
Chibwenzi changa chinali kutali ndi masabata a 2. Anapita kumapeto kwa sabata pasanathe. Kotero anali masabata a 3 kuyambira pomwe tinagonana. Ndinayamba kugonana modzidzimutsa pamene adachoka, ngakhale opanda zolaula komanso nthawi zambiri popanda malingaliro. Ndikaganiza kuti ndimaganiza za iye komanso chipinda chathu choyambirira cha chipinda kapena asungwana ena omwe ndakhala nawo kale (palibe malingaliro opanga zolaula). Kugonana kwanga kumakhala ngati kwatayika kwambiri chifukwa cholowa mu ubale uwu. Ndinazindikira kuti kudziletsa nthawi zonse sikunali kwanzeru kotero kuti anasiya masiku a 4 asanabwererenso.
Ndinazungulira kwa iye m'mawa. Zinali zosangalatsa kumuwona ndikumubweza m'manja mwanga. Molunjika kuchipinda, ndikumavula momwe timayankhulira, kuseka, kutigwira. Ndimakonda mwachilengedwe, momasuka, komanso mosasunthika tili limodzi. Anandiuza kuti adapewa maliseche kwa milungu iwiri yonse. Ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi iye. Anati adalimbikitsidwa ndikuyesetsa kuyambiranso.
Thupi lake linali lamoyo. Zinali ngati akugonana koyamba. Anali womvera komanso wamanjenje pang'ono. Zinali zokongola kwambiri. Tinagonana kamodzi ndipo tonse timalowa mulu wopumira. Kenako mphindi 30 pambuyo pake. Ndinali ndi ma O awiri. Ndinali 100% molimbika konse. Chosamvetseka ndikuti ndidakhala ndi erection patatha mphindi 5 nditatuluka. Nthawi zambiri ndimakhala nditakhala kwa maola angapo. Tinapita kukaonera kanema. Kenako adabwerera ndikugonana kachiwiri. Sindinachite O nthawi ino (gawo lalitali). Zonsezi zinali kugonana kwabwino kwambiri m'moyo wanga.
Tsopano ndafika poti sindiganiziranso za ED. Ndinali ndi zokambirana izi m'mutu mwanga "Kodi ndili wovuta komabe?", "Kodi ndikhala ndi vuto", "Ahh ayi akunditsikira, koma sindikhala wovuta" . Izi tsopano zatha. Zinkawoneka ngati zimanditengera kanthawi kuti ndithane ndi zovuta zomwe ndakumana nazo m'malingaliro mwanga. Dzulo ndinabatizidwa kwathunthu ndikuwongolera. Osadandaula, osakayikira. Ndimangosangalala nazo. Zodabwitsa.
LINK - Zonse blog
BY - wofunsidwa
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