Moni, ndili ndi zaka 24, wamwamuna, adagula bukuli - adadabwa, adapeza bwaloli - adadabwa, ndili ndi chofunikira chogawana chilichonse chomwe ndikudziwa kwa wina yemwe angandimvetse.
Zolaula zinakhudza moyo wanga kwambiri komanso zopweteka.
Sindinayang'ane zolaula kuyambira zaka ziwiri koma ubongo wanga udakhudzidwabe, sizachilendo. Chilichonse chimasinthidwa.
Ndikudziwa vuto lalikulu ndi liti? Momwe ndimazindikira moyo ndimakhudzidwa ndi zolaula, malingaliro anga okhudzana ndi azimayi komanso zogonana siomwe amayenera kukhalira, zomwe ndimamva panthawi yogonana sizomwe ndimayenera kumva, ndipo nditha kunena kuti zolaula ndizo .
Ndinayamba ndi zolaula ndili 12, ndidayimitsa atakhala zaka 22.
Huh, ndinali ndi usiku umodzi woti ndimaliseweretsa maliseche 11 nthawi ya 7 maola. Ndinalinso ndi tsiku limodzi, Sindinaiwale konse, ubongo wanga unasokonekera kwathunthu, ndikutanthauza, sindikudziwa zomwe zandichitikira koma sindimatha kumva kanthu, kwenikweni, palibe kanthu, ngati kuti sindimva chisoni, ngati loboti , ichi ndiye choyipa kwambiri chomwe munthu angakumane nacho, monga momwe ubongo wanga udawundikira ndipo ndimayang'ana ngati zombie, osakhudzidwa konse, palibe ngakhale chizindikiro chimodzi cha moyo, osamverera, osati chotengeka, palibe chomwe ndikuganiza chinali mkhalidwe wolimba kwambiri, ndiye ndinapeza chibwenzi ndipo ubongo wanga unatha kudzikonza wokha kwa miyezi ingapo ya 6 kuti ndimve bwino.
Komabe, chifukwa zolaula ndizo zonse zomwe ndinali nazo, ndi chibwenzi changa choyamba sindinayambe kugonana, monga ndikukumbukira tsopano zolaula zinali ndi lamulo lalikulu pa izi. Ndiloleni ndikufotokozereni - nditagonana, ndimadziona ngati kanema wolaula, ngati sanali ine, ndikutanthauza kuti ndimawona zonse, ndimatha kuwona zomwe ndikuchita koma ngati ziwalo za thupi sizanga, Ubongo wanga udavomereza zakugonana ngati zolaula ndikuziwona momwe zimawonera zolaula, zinali ngati kuti ndimayang'ana kuchokera kwa munthu wachitatu, iyi inali moyo wanga wogonana kwambiri, komanso kugonana komweko, sikunali kokhutiritsa kwenikweni, zinali ngati mankhwala, monga ndikufunikira kutero, chifukwa ndili ndi chosowachi ndipo ndili wamanjenje, nditamwa mankhwala ndili bwino. Ndinalibe chibwenzi, sindinathe kukhala pachibwenzi, pamene ndinakumbatira mwana wanga sanamve kanthu, ndinkafuna kugonana momwe amachitira zolaula, ndinkafuna kuti mwana wanga azichita zomwezo. Inde! Ndikulingalira kuti izi ndi zomwe zolaula zimachita kwaubongo wazaka 3 wowonera zolaula 12 pa sabata pazaka 5 zikubwerazi?
Zachidziwikire kuti tidasweka ndi chibwenzi changa, ndizosakhazikika, chifukwa zolaula sizinakhudze moyo wokhudzana ndi kugonana kokha, zolaula zimakhudza moyo wanga, malingaliro anga tsiku ndi tsiku, chilichonse changa, kulumikizana ndi anthu, sindimatha kuganiza bwino 🙁
Zina mwa zolaula - nditachoka kunyumba kwanga, sindinasangalale ndi moyo, moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, zochitika zanthawi zonse, ndikawona mtsikana, ndimayamba kulingalira naye zolaula ndipo ndimangowona akazi okha ndipo kokha ngati zinthu zogonana osati china chilichonse, ena amatsutsa zomwe ndikufunika kuti ndikwaniritse zosowa zanga zogonana. Sindingathe kulankhula ndi atsikana, sindinathe kuwawayang'ana! Khalidwe langa limakhala lopanda tanthauzo ngati wopenga anthu ena kapena china chake 🙁 Ndikulingalira sindinachite zambiri zomwe kulumikizana kwachikhalidwe kumafunikira, sindinasowe zambiri, ndipo nzosadabwitsa kuti ndimakhala nthawi zambiri kunyumba , Ndinalibe kufunika kotuluka, sindimamva chisangalalo chilichonse, bwanji ndikanachita? Sindinadziwepo momwe kugonana koyenera kuyenera kukhalira, sindinayesere momwe kulumikizana kwabwino pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi kuyenera kukhalira, sindinakhalepo ndiubwenzi wapamtima 🙁 Kodi mumaphunzitsa bwanji ubongo kuchita izi muli ndi zaka 20? mukadakhala kuti mudaphunzira zonsezi mukadali achichepere, ubongo wanu ukakhala wofewa komanso wokhoza kuphunzira zinthu zofunika izi. Kodi mumaphunzitsa bwanji bambo wazaka 70 kuti apange tsamba la webusayiti? Simukutero. Chifukwa chake zaka zotsatira ndidakhala ndikuvutika, ndidayamba kugwira ntchito kotero ndidayamba kukulitsa luso langa ndikulankhulana bwino ndi anthu. Ndinapeza chibwenzi chatsopano.
Ndine 24 tsopano, ndatsala pang'ono kukhazikika, ndimayankhulana ndi anthu mwachizolowezi, ndimangokhala ngati abwinobwino panthawi yogonana, ndimakhala ndi nthawi yambiri yolumikizana, kukwatirana, kupsompsonana mwachikondi ndimamva chisangalalo ndi moto.
Zina zosangalatsa: Ndikukumbukirabe kanema woyamba zolaula yemwe ndidamuwona, chithunzicho chazikika muubongo wanga. Nthawi zina ndikachita maliseche makanema ndi zithunzi zolaula zomwe ndidaziwona zisanatuluke, zimakhala ngati laibulale yaikulu ya f **** g !!! Ndipo ubongo wanga umayambiranso pa zolaula, chifukwa chake ndimangofunika kudzikakamiza kuti ndiganizire za bwenzi langa kapena zomwe ndimakumana nazo pamoyo wanga, apo ayi nditha kuyambitsa maukonde akale omwe angandikhudze.
Tsopano china chake chomwe chidachitika milungu iwiri isanachitike, sindingakhulupirire izi. Mukudziwa kuti sindinayang'ane zolaula kwa zaka ziwiri, inali nthawi yovuta kuchira, ngakhale malingaliro ake anandipangitsa kunjenjemera. Kotero pamene ndikusakatula ine mwangozi ndinawona CHITHUNZI CHA PORN, ndimangoyang'ana ubongo wanga, MULUNGU !!!!!!!!!!!
Ndinali ngati af **** g RAT !!!!!! Ndili tcheru kwambiri, ubongo wanga udafuna KUKUMBUKIRA CHITHUNZI CHOSATHA, sindinawone china chilichonse mchipindacho ndipo sindimaganizira china chilichonse kupatula CHITHUNZI ichi. Ndinasangalala kwambiri, ndimatha kumva adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin kapena chilichonse chomwe chikuthamangitsa ubongo wanga, kuchuluka kwake, mtima wanga unayamba kugunda mwachangu, ndinatseka chithunzicho. Sindinakhulupirire patadutsa chaka chachiwiri, zidakali ndi ine ?? !! Ndi za moyo wonse !!!!! Palibe wokonda zakale !!!! Ngakhale zitatha zaka 2 ndikawonera kanema, zonse zibwerera.
Kodi mukudziwa zomwe zidachitika, chithunzi cha chithunzichi mwina chidatsegula maukonde akale azolaula masiku atatu patatha masiku atatu ndili wamantha, ndinali ndi zovuta za chithunzichi, ndinayambanso kukhala ndimomwe ndimakhalira ndikawonera zolaula. Ndinamva kupweteka kwa ubongo kwa masiku atatu amenewo pambuyo pake. Ndinkafuna PORN! !!!!! Ndiye chithunzi chimodzi? zotsatira za masiku atatu? Wodabwitsa hu? Si MOVIE, ndi STATIC PICTURE !!!!! Sindinachitepo maliseche chifukwa chongoziwona. Masiku atatu KungoZIONA. Ndikutsimikiza kuti ndikadachita maliseche, zikadanditengera sabata kapena kupitilira kuti ndibwerere mwakale.
Mulungu, sindikhulupirira kuti izi ndi zamphamvu bwanji kwa ine. Ndikulingalira kuti ena omwe ali osokoneza bongo sali choncho, ndikuganiza kuti ndi ine ndekha amene ndimakonda kwambiri kugonana 🙁 1 pic = masiku atatu achikhalidwe chachilendo komanso zopindika komanso mantha ndi nkhawa. Ingoganizirani zomwe zingachitike ndikamaonera kanema ndikuchita maliseche? Eya, osachepera mwezi….
Pali zinthu zochepa zomwe ndapeza:
Momwe ubongo wanga umagwirira ntchito ndikamaonera zolaula sizofanana ndi nthawi yogonana.
Vuto lakuonera zolaula ndiloti ndimawona anthu ena awiri akugonana. Ndidawerenga kwinakwake kuti magalasi amitsempha anga ayatsidwa. Ndizosiyana. Sizabwino mukamakonda kuwonera anthu ena akugonana ndikukhala osangalala ndi izi.
Fruther kwambiri, chisangalalo chogonana ndichosiyana, ndimadzuka, zimakhala ngati mankhwala osokoneza bongo, ndimamva kuti si malingaliro enieni akugonana, ndimatha kumva momwe magawo osiyanasiyana aubongo wanga amathandizira mukamaonera zolaula komanso mukamagonana. Ndikutsimikiza kuti ubongo wanga umapanga kusiyana pakati pa zolaula ndi kugonana. Pali zochitika zina zomwe zimachitika mmenemo zomwe zimapangitsa kusiyana kwakukulu. Pambuyo pa zolaula ndikufuna zambiri. Pambuyo pa kugonana ndimakhala wokhutira. Pambuyo pa zolaula ndimakhala wokhutira kwa mphindi zingapo, ndiye ndimakhala wamanjenje ndiye ndimafuna zochulukirapo ndikumverera kukhutitsidwa sikungokhala kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana kwenikweni, ndizosamveka, kuli ngati kutopetsa kuposa chisangalalo ndipo ndikukhala wotopa. Pogonana, chilichonse chimakhala bata, ndimakhala ndi chisangalalo ngati momwe ndimamvera, nditagonana, ndimamva kuti ndine wathunthu, wopanda nkhawa, sindikufuna zochulukirapo, ndimangofuna kukumbatira chibwenzi changa, ndimasangalala kwambiri ndi izi. Chifukwa chake ndikamaonera zolaula ubongo wanga umayambitsa maukonde a neural - Anthu ena ogonana, mumakhala okondwa kuwona mbolo yamwamuna ikulowetsa mu nyini. Mumakhala okondwa kuwayang'ana, mumasangalatsidwa kuwona zoomed yolowera mkati, mumasangalatsidwa ndi madzi, kuchokera kuzosungidwa zomwe zasinthidwa. Izi ndi zomwe netowrk imapangidwa, ndipo netiwekiyi imakhudza chilichonse chomwe chili muubongo wanu komanso momwe mumagonana pambuyo pake.
Kugonana kwenikweni kumamanga netiweki iyi - Muli ndi munthu wamoyo pafupi nanu, thupi, thupi lenileni, mumasangalatsidwa ndi kupuma kokwanira, mumasangalatsidwa ndikumakhudza mwachikondi, simumakondwera chifukwa chazithunzi, simukuchita ' Muyenera kuwona mbolo yanu ikulowerera kuti musangalale, mumasangalatsidwa ndi mgwirizano, kuchokera pakuphatikizika komwe mukupanga. Mwambiri mukamagonana ma netiweki osiyanasiyana amakhala omangidwa, kuphatikiza zinthu zambiri zamaganizidwe.
Ndiye ndi intaneti iti yomwe mumakonda kukhala nayo? Ndiloleni ndikuuzeni kuti ndikamayang'ana zolaula ndi bwenzi langa loyamba, kuti ndikhale wosangalala, ndimafuna kuyang'ana kumaliseche kwake kapena zina kapena pakamwa pake (pa bj) kapena pa ZINTHU ZINA, sindimatha kumva kapena kuwona chilichonse Kupanda apo, ndimafunikira zolaula monga momwe ndingafikire kuti ndikwaniritse zolaula. Tsopano mu kugonana kwenikweni, sindikusowa izi, ndimakondwera pamlingo wina wozama kuchokera kuzinthu zina zambiri, zonga zolaula.
Pano ndili ndi funso limodzi - Ngati aliyense akudziwa, zomwe zimachitika muubongo komanso zomwe zimachitika nthawi: kuseweretsa maliseche, kuseweretsa maliseche opanda zolaula komanso Kugonana kwenikweni, ndikuthokoza kwambiri, izi ndizothandiza kwambiri.
Funso lina- nchifukwa chiyani ubongo wanga umachita zolaula ngati cholimbikitsa kwambiri? Chifukwa chake ndi chiyani? Iyenera kukhala ndi kufotokozera? Chifukwa chiyani ubongo wanga umachita misala ndikawona anthu awiri akuchita zogonana? Chifukwa chiyani sizichitika ndikawona anthu awiri akugonana m'moyo weniweni kapena ndikagonana? Sindikumvetsa izi? Ndikulingalira kuti ndikakhala ndi thupi lenileni patsogolo panga ubongo wanga umalandira izi mosiyanasiyana, ndikuyambitsa magawo osiyanasiyana kuposa kuwonera zolaula. Ndikutanthauza poyang'ana koyamba, zolaula sizapadera? Chifukwa chiyani ziyenera kundikhudza kwambiri? Kodi pangakhale njira yowonera anthu ena akugonana yomwe ikukhudza kwambiri? Mwina ubongo wanu ungadziwe kuti sizowona munjira ina? Payenera kuti pakhale china chake, kuphatikiza kwake zinthu… .ndikutanthauza.. chifukwa chiyani? Nditatha kuseweretsa maliseche sindikufuna zina, nditatha kuonera zolaula ndikufuna zambiri? Chifukwa chiyani? Nditagonana sindikufuna zina, nditaonera zolaula ndimafuna zambiri, bwanji? Nthawi zambiri zoyambitsa zenizeni zimayenera kukhala zamphamvu kwambiri, azimayi enieni, izi ndizowona? Koma zikuwoneka, ndimangokhalira kusangalala ndipo palibe cholakwika chilichonse chomwe chingapite ndi moyo weniweni, chifukwa chiyani kanema zolaula ndizolimbikitsa, zikufanizira bwanji ndi moyo weniweni? Kodi pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa kugonana kwenikweni ndi zolaula paubongo, kupatula kuti zolaula sizowona? Payenera kukhala china chake? Zina mwazomwe zimandipangitsa kufuna zambiri, bwanji zingakhale zolimbikitsa kwambiri? Ndikutsimikiza kuti ndikawona anthu awiri akugonana m'moyo weniweni, sizingakhale zolimbikitsa kwambiri kwa ine ndipo sindikufuna zambiri, koma zolaula ndizosiyana, ndikutsimikiza ngati ndiwona zolaula , Ndikutanthauza kuti anthu omwe amawonera zolaula ndipo ndili komweko, sizingandikhudze kuposa kuwonera chowonera ?! Kapena ndalakwitsa? Ndasokonekera.
Komanso, mukuganiza kuti pali munthu wokonda kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena amakhala moyo wonse, ngati patatha zaka 15 akuwonera kanema wolaula, njirayi idzalimbikitsidwa, kuyambira pang'onopang'ono komanso pambuyo pa makanema a 2-3, kuti abwererenso kuzolowera? Ndikudabwa kuti chidzachitike ndi chiyani ngati munthu yemwe anali ndi moyo wabwino ayamba zolaula ali ndi zaka 35?! Zichitika ndi chiyani? Ndikulingalira kuti sangakhale osokoneza bongo komanso zolaula sizingasinthe ubongo wake kwambiri?
Zowonjezera zomwe porn zimabweretsa ku ubongo wanga:
Kuda nkhawa kwa zaka pafupifupi 8, OCD pazogonana. OCD yokhudza kugonana kwa wokondedwa wanga ndikufuna kudziwa zomwe adachita ndi abwenzi ake mwatsatanetsatane mphindi iliyonse. Kuganiza za bwenzi langa ndi zibwenzi zake zakale, akugonana, akuchita zinthu (Ndikulingalira kuti ubongo wanga umangofuna kuwona anthu ena awiri akugonana, sichoncho? Kodi izi zinachokera kuti, anthu ena awiri akugonana?) Koma m'moyo weniweni , ndi wakupha. Si akudwala? Ndizo, ndipo ndimatha kubetcha mutu wanga, Ngati sizinali zolaula sindikadakhala ndi izi! Komanso, ndikuwona zolaula kulikonse, ngati munthu angalankhule ndi gf yanga, ndimaganizira momwe amamvera iye ndi zolaula zonse, ngati munthu angakhudze GF yanga, monga kucheza pagulu kapena mnzake kukumbatira, ndimakhala ndi nsanje kwambiri! Ndikayamba kuganiza momwe akumvera kukondweretsedwa ndi izi ndi momwe amamufunira. Ndimakhalanso wokonda kuseka za gf yanga komanso kuti amagonana ndi anyamata ena. Izi zimayambitsidwa ndi ZINTHU ZOTHANDIZA ZOTHANDIZA zopangidwa ndi zolaula zanga. Ndinali ndi nkhawa zambiri kotero sindingathe kuziwerenga. Chithunzi changa chinali chowola kwathunthu! Izi ndi zina mwa zowonjezera, sindingawalembe onse ndi zomwe ndidakumana nazo kuti ndipange umunthu wolimba.
Ndikudabwa momwe zolaula zimakhudzira mitundu ya anthu, tonsefe tili ndi ubongo wosiyana. Ngati ndikanati ndiyike m'gulu kapena ndikudzifotokoza ndekha, ndinganene kuti ndine wopambana kwambiri ndipo ndimagonana kwambiri ndichifukwa chake zolaula zimandikhudza kwambiri. Ndili ndi anzanga omwe amaonera zolaula, koma zikuwoneka kuti samakonda kwambiri, sanasinthe ?! Sindikumvetsa, ndikutanthauza kuti pali anthu omwe amawawonera kangapo kangapo pa sabata ndipo amakhala bwino, ali ndi abwenzi, amakhala ndi machitidwe ogonana, amakhala okhutira, abwinobwino? Ndikulingalira kuti ndichifukwa chaubongo wawo, amangosiyana ndipo samachita chidwi ndi zoterezi. Kodi muli ndi malingaliro aliwonse okhudzana ndi izi? Chifukwa chiyani anthu ena amatha kupewa zolaula zambiri, bwanji zolaula sizimawasintha, kapena zimatero koma sizodziwika komanso zochedwa?
Ndimangodana ndimakampani azolaula, ayenera kuwasumira ndikuwatsekera kwamuyaya, ngati ine ndi anyamata pano sitikwanira umboni wokwanira? Iwo awononga moyo wanga. Ndipo ayi, sindinali woyenera kuchita izi, mwana wamwamuna wazaka 12 KID ali ndi udindo wofunitsitsa kugonana komanso kusangalala?!?! BWANJI!!!!!!!!!!! Ndakwiya kwambiri !! 🙁 Ndipo sindikudziwa ngati ndine wapadera kapena ayi, kapena ngati ubongo wanga udakhudzidwa modetsa nkhawa, koma ndikutsimikiza, anthu ena akumananso ndi zotere.
Ndizo, chifukwa cha aliyense amene wakwanitsa kuwerenga zonsezo, ndemanga, malingaliro onse amalandiridwa ndikuyamikiridwa!
LINK - https://www.reuniting.info/node/4659
by back2life
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