10-27 Kotero ndili ndi zaka 24, ndipo ndakhala MO kuyambira 12 kapena 13, komanso P pomwe ndimatha kuzipeza. Kungoyambira pomwe ndidayamba kuyunivesite zaka 5 zapitazo ndidakhala ndi mwayi wopeza intaneti yothamanga kwambiri, ndipamene ndidazindikira kusintha. Pafupifupi, nditha kunena kuti PMO 5 kapena 6 pa sabata. Sindinali wocheza kapena chilichonse, ndimakondabe kucheza ndi azimayi komanso kucheza nawo. Komabe, nthawi zonse ndinkangokhalira kukangana ndikamagona ndi mtsikana, ngati kuti ndimangokhala ndikuseweretsa maliseche komanso osadandaula za zomwe amaganiza kapena china chilichonse. Kwenikweni, kuyendetsa / moyo wanga wogonana unali wosagwirizana kwambiri. Pazovuta zanga zotsika kwambiri, sindinathe kuzimva ndipo ndinali womvetsa chisoni, wokhumudwa komanso wamanyazi.
Ndikulephera, zinthu zimawoneka ngati "zabwinobwino" koma ndimakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse ndipo sindimatha kusunga chibwenzi pachifukwa ichi. Ndinganene kuti kuchuluka kwa zabwino zogonana ndi 1: 1. Ndili ndi mwayi kuti sindinali kuvutika moyipa monga ena onse pano, ndinali ndisanazame kwambiri. Koma ndinali kulowera komweko: kupsinjika ndi nkhawa kuchokera kusukulu ya med, nkhawa yomwe idangokhazikitsidwa kumene (yomwe idayamba kukula), yolumikizana ndi maubale osatha, kenako nkusakanikirana ndi chizolowezi cha caffeine ndikupita mopitirira muyeso pakumwa. Nditakhala ndimantha mobwerezabwereza, ndikusinkhasinkha za machitidwe anga, ndidazindikira kuti china chake sichili bwino.
Chimodzi mwazinthu zokhudzana ndi sukulu ndikuti ophunzira ambiri amakhala ma hypochondriacs, nthawi zonse amaganiza kuti ali ndi matenda ena omwe amaphunzira. Izi zidandichitikira. Ndimaganiza kuti ndili ndi matenda amitsempha kapena ma testosterone ochepa. Ndinafufuza, zonse zinali zabwinobwino koma adayesa kuchita zosayenera. Ndinapita ku GNC ndikugula zowonjezera zowonjezera, monga Yohimbe, L-Argenine, mafuta amafuta, ngakhale kugula Cialis ku pharmacy yapaintaneti ku India. Ndinamva chisoni. Kenako, ndinawerenga mabuku kusukulu yokhudza zolaula. Ndidamvapo za izi, koma sindinaganize kuti ndinali nazo zoyipa choncho. Ndinafufuza mozama, ndikuphunzira momwe zimakhudzira ma neurotransmitters momwe amachita njuga, kapena chizolowezi china chilichonse. Sindinathe kuchita izi: ndikudwala chifukwa cha zowonjezera mavutowo, ndinali wokhumudwa, wodandaula, wosungulumwa… Ndinadziwa kuti yankho lake ndinalipeza nditazindikira pang'ono zomwe ndimachita kwa ine ndekha.
[Mbiri yambiri] Chifukwa chake ndili patsiku la 77 palibe P kapena M. Ndangokhala ngati ndimangoyang'ana chabe mundipirire .. koma ndikufunikiradi malangizo.
Ndine mwana wasukulu wofufuza ku Africa… Ndakhala kuno pafupifupi miyezi iwiri, ndinayamba kupezeka pa Ogasiti 9 ndipo lero ndi Okutobala 26. Ndakhala ndiri ku Africa kuyambira Seputembala 1. Ndidazindikira kuti china chake sichili bwino ndi ine Zosokoneza pomwe ndidayamba koleji nditakhala ndi moyo wathanzi wogonana mu HS… patatha zaka zisanu, ndidazindikira kuti zinali zolaula komanso maliseche ndipo ndidazindikira izi nditawerenga zolemba zachipatala. Pambuyo pazaka zambiri nditakhala ndi nkhawa chifukwa chosakweza kapena kusachita bwino ndikundisiya osatetezeka komanso zosankha, sindinataye pang'ono. Mbali yoyambira ... yotayika ngati ma 15 lbs ndipo ndikuwona kuwonjezeka kwa magwiridwe antchito komanso mwayi wopeza zovuta .. zinachokera ku 33% mpaka 50% yakulowetsedwa bwino. Ndimayesetsa kupulumutsa nkhope ndikunena kuti "ohhh sindikumva bwino kwambiri" ngati sindikuganiza kuti dick wanga ndiye (haha, pun akufuna).
Komabe. Palibe zolaula kapena maliseche: Zachidziwikire tidawona kupita patsogolo kodabwitsa, ngakhale patadutsa masiku ochepa. Ndine wolimba mtima kwambiri, wosavuta kukhala nawo, ochezeka, azimayi amandikonda (nthawi zonse amandikonda, koma m'masiku anga amdima ndimawona ngati atha kuzindikira kusowa chitetezo ndikumatha kunena kuti sindinali 100%). Sindinabwererenso. Ndikukhala gehena kutali ndi zolaula kwa moyo wanga wonse, ndipo sindinakhalepo ndi chidwi chobwerera. Ngakhale zolimbikitsa maliseche sizichitika kawirikawiri (kuyambira usiku uliwonse kupita kuzizira kozizira pa 8/9/11). Ndakhala ndikulota 4 kapena 5 maloto onyowa kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba ndikuzindikira "wobangirira" tsiku lotsatira… ndikumva kukhumudwa kapena kudziimba mlandu kwa tsiku limodzi kapena awiri pambuyo pake. Zafika poti nditha kuneneratu, ndikudziwa kuti ndidzakhala wokhumudwa, ndiloleni kuti ndisadandaule kwambiri za izi.
Ndilinso ndi chowonjezera chakumwa cha khofi choipa, zikomo med sukulu. Ndasiya kuchepa kwambiri kuchokera ku Africa, nthawi zambiri khofi tsiku lililonse ndipo mwina Coke. Ndinganene kuti ndimatha pafupifupi 100mg ya caffeine tsiku lililonse- Zochepera kuposa momwe ndimakhalira 500-700 + patsiku. Ndimakhala ngati ndazindikira kumwa komwe kumangokhala ngati munthu atamwa khofi… ndathedwa nzeru, koma ndimangokhala wosasangalala nthawi zonse. Ndimayang'ana m'mabuku a caffeine ndi dopamine koma sizowona. Vuto lina: Ndimakonda kumwa, ndipo ndimakonda kumwa kwambiri. Zimabweretsanso vuto lachikale lamasiku olimba mtima, ndipo zimandipatsa chidaliro chokwanira kuti ndikatengere zinthu pamlingo wina… ngakhale zili choncho ngati ndamwa kwambiri, ndabwereranso pachimodzi. Chifukwa chake kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba izi: anzeru 180 mwanzeru. Ndili ngati munthu watsopano. Nkhawa za anthu (zomwe zakhala zikundidumphira pang'onopang'ono) zatha. Ndagona ndi atsikana awiri kuyambira pomwe ndidakhala kuno, msungwana waku Asia ndi mtsikana wa Norweigen, onse ataledzera pambuyo pausiku. Ndinaimvetsa ndikulowetsa, ndipo atsikana onse anali okhutira…. koma …… .ndinadziwikiratu kuti masiku awiri pambuyo pake (pamwamba pa chidakwa) ndinangomva ngati sindidzamvanso chisoni. Ndizomvetsa manyazi chifukwa ndimakonda kwambiri mtsikana wa ku Norwiegen, ndipo takhala tikuwonana pafupipafupi. Ndakhala ndikuyesera kuti ndizichepetse chifukwa sindikufuna kudzichititsa manyazi, koma mwamwayi siwo mtundu wankhanza. Anakhala komweko usiku watha (ndimamwa mowa koyambirira ndipo ndinkachita tulo) ndipo ndinkapanga nawo gawo chifukwa sindinali wotsimikiza ngati ndinali woyenera. Tinkapusitsika m'mawa uno ndipo ndinali wolimba ngati thanthwe kwakanthawi koma opanda kondomu .. kenako (titamwa khofi) tinakhala nayo koma ndinadzipeza ndikudzikhululukira osasangalala.
Kodi ntchito yanga ndiyotani? Ndine tsiku la 77 la P kapena M, ndili ndi msungwana wokongola yemwe ndimamukonda ngati bwenzi langa akundidikirira kuti ndimutenge ndipo ndimangolephera! Ndikufuna kukhala wamkulu ndikukhala ndi chibwenzi chogonana, chomwe ndimadzikana ndekha mosazindikira zaka zingapo zapitazi. Ndithandizeni! Ndibwezereni kunjira yoyenera chifukwa ndimaganiza kuti ndimachita bwino kwambiri 
Ngati wina aliyense wakumanapo ndi vuto la dopamine lotsekera tiyi kapena khofi ndi momwe amakhudzirana ndi zochitika zogonana, ndidziwitseni. ZABODZA!
Popeza ndidayimitsa PMO (kupatula awiri Os, onani pansipa), ndachita kwathunthu 180. Ndine wocheperako, wodalirika, wokoma komanso wosangalala. Kukhumudwa komwe ndakhala ndikulimbana nako ndikutha kwazaka zambiri kwachepa (ngakhale ndi ma spikes ena, koma ndimawona ngati kuti sali owopsa ndipo satenga nthawi yayitali). Ngakhale sindimachiriranso thanzi langa, kusintha kwa umunthu kumapangitsa kukhala koyenera (ngakhale izi ndi zotsatira za placebo, sindikusamala! Ndizowona kwa ine). Ponseponse, ndine munthu wabwino kuposa masiku 79 apitawo, pomwe sindinathe kulemba imelo kwa pulofesa kapena kulankhula ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima osakhala ndi nkhawa.
Ndagona ndi atsikana awiri kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba izi zobwezeretsanso moyo wanga wogonana. Nthawi yoyamba inali pafupi masabata a 5 kuti ayambirenso; woledzera usiku umodzi ndikuyimirira ndi mzanga. Ngakhale ndimenyedwa, ndimamva mosiyana kwambiri ndi kugonana. Ndinali wokonda kwambiri, ndimamva bwino, ndipo ndimasinthidwa ndikudandaula za magwiridwe antchito, zomwe nthawi zonse zimakhala nkhawa yayikulu. Ndimangokhalira kusangalala. Kawirikawiri, ndikavala kondomu, ndimangokhalira kumangokhalira kuyenda koma izi sizinali zovuta nthawi ino. Ndinkadziwa kuti sindinachiritsidwe ndi nthawi yayitali, ndipo ndinamva kukhumudwa tsiku lotsatira komanso libido yosalala. Ndidali wokhumudwa kwamasiku ochepa pambuyo pake, koma ndimakhala ndikuwadzudzula chifukwa chazikhalidwe komanso kulakalaka kwathu (ndikupanga semester ku Africa). Posakhalitsa zidatha, ndipo ndidakhala wotsimikiza kwambiri ndikusangalala posakhalitsa.
Kwa sabata latha ndi theka, ndakhala ndikuwona mtsikana watsopano, ndipo takhala tikukondana kwambiri. Kupsompsona ndi kukumbatirana kwambiri, ndipo ndimamva ngati ndikugwirizana ndi amuna kapena akazi kwanthawi yoyamba pazaka; Osangomuyang'ana mkazi koma kutha "kumukonda" ndikukopeka naye. Simumakonda nyenyezi zolaula mukakhala kuti mumakonda zolaula, ndipo atsikana amoyo omwe mumawakonda amayamba kukwezedwa kwambiri, amazindikira kusatetezeka, ndikuchoka. Komabe, titatha usiku (ndinali nditaledzera, anali bwino / buzzed?) Tinali tikulumikizana. Ndinkachita manyazi kuvala kondomu chifukwa ndinali ndi nkhawa kuti ndiyitaya… koma mowa umandipatsa chidaliro ndipo tidagonana. Ndinali wokondwa, 2/2 kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba kuyambiranso! Koma tsoka, osayambiranso. Tsiku lotsatira ndinamva chimodzimodzi nditagonana koyamba milungu ingapo isanachitike. Ndinali wachisoni chifukwa anali ndi mtsikana yemwe ndimamukonda kwambiri, ndipo ndimangofuna kukhala ndekha ndikumva kukhumudwa. Ndinapanga chowiringula kuti ndiyenera kugwira ntchito, choncho adanyamuka molawirira kwambiri (ngakhale amagwirizana). Patatha masiku angapo, adabweranso (nditamwa mowa umodzi kotero kuti sindidagone). Ndinali ndi nkhawa kuti sindikumva, ndiye ndinanama ndikunena kuti ndilibe kondomu ngakhale ndinali osachepera theka la mast .. koma sindikudziwa. Sindinkafuna kudziika pachiwopsezo chodzipusitsa. Kutacha m'mawa tinakhala pabedi kwa maola ambiri tikupusitsana, zomwe zinali zabwino kwambiri. Tidagonana pongonamizira kuti "kungolandira pang'ono, kwa mphindi zochepa" popanda kondomu (Ndikudziwa, sakhala bwino! Koma ali pa BC ngakhale sizothandiza kwenikweni chifukwa timayenera kumwa malungo podziteteza pano). Komabe, ndinali wosasamala ndipo ndinali wolimba ngati thanthwe, ngakhale anali kumva bwino kwambiri ndinali pachiwopsezo cha PE kotero ndidatuluka mwachangu. Pambuyo pake tsiku lomwelo, tinapita kwawo (komwe anali ndi kondomu) koma ndimakhala ngati ndatopa kuti ndisachite manyazi.
Ndine wokhumudwa chifukwa sindingakhale ndi chizolowezi chogonana ndi mtsikana amene ndimamukonda. Ndikumva ngati zimandipatsa nkhawa, ndichifukwa chake ndikuzengereza koma ndikudziwa kuti zinthu zikuyenera kufulumira m'masiku ochepa otsatirawa ... Ndikumva kuti ndikutsitsimulidwa pakadali pano ndikukhumudwa. Ndizomvetsa chisoni chifukwa ngati masiku 5 kapena 6 apitawo ndimamva ngati ndili pamwamba padziko lapansi. Zokwera komanso zotsika izi zikundipangitsa misala! Ndikuyembekeza kuti sindinabwererenso ku malo oyamba mwa kugonana moledzera… Sindikudziwa choti ndichitenso. Osati kuti ndidzabwerera ku PM. Nthawi zonse. Koma ndimaona ngati ndakhazikika. Ndiyesera kusintha izi pafupipafupi momwe ndingathere ndi intaneti yocheperako pano, ndipo ndikukhulupirira kuti nthawi ina ndikadzalemba blog ndidzakhala ndi nkhani yabwino.
Kotero padutsa masiku asanu kuchokera pomwe ndidatumiza, ndipo akuganiza kuti zikuwoneka bwino… kukhumudwa "kutha" kwatha. Sabata ino kwakukulu inali yabwino; Ndinapita kumapeto kwa sabata limodzi ndi bwenzi langa latsopano. Ndiye chibwenzi choyamba chomwe ndakhala ndikuthokoza nacho pazaka zomwe ndimamva ngati. Ndi zatsopano komanso zosangalatsa.
Komabe, kumapeto kwa sabata lino tidakhala pansi kuthengo m'nkhalangoyi. Ndimakhala ndi tsiku lodabwitsa, kusambira, kukopana, ndi zina zotero. Komabe, posadzidalira ndekha, ndinadzikonzekeretsa njira yopumira ndikumangodzimva kuti ndikudwala komanso kutopa (zomwe zinali zowona mwanjira iliyonse). Ndimamva kuti ndikumvera chisoni koma ndimamva kuti ndiyenera kupulumutsa nkhope ngati zinthu zitasokonekera pambuyo pake.
Kwenikweni tinabwerera ndipo tinali kupusitsika ndipo ndikuganiza kuti chinali chisangalalo, mantha, kukondoweza kuchokera ku humping kouma komanso kuti ndimamva sooo tcheru tsopano patatha miyezi 2.5 palibe M. Ndipo ndinali wochenjera .. nthawi zina ine anali ataledzera kwambiri ndipo amatha kukhala kwakanthawi. Koma eya, kondomu yodzozedwa idapitilira, ndidalowamo, ndipo… I PE. Haha. Koma… ndinali wanzeru ndipo ndinangotuluka ndikunena kuti sindimva bwino. Ndinamva chisoni koma sanazindikire kuti ndikuganiza. Ndinazibisa bwino ndipo ndikuganiza kuti amaganiza kuti ndinali wotentha komanso thukuta chifukwa chosamva bwino. Chilichonse, zinali zoyipa koma iye samadziwa. Ndimapita kubafa, ndikuponya kondomu ndikubwerera kukagona .. ndipo mphindi 15 pambuyo pake .. tayambiranso. Yesetsani kusandiseka. Koma zidachitikanso. Mwinanso ndimatha mphindi ... koma ndinakopanso chinyengo chimodzimodzi kunena kuti kugonana sikunali bwino ndikubisa PE yanga haha. ZOchititsa manyazi! Ndikuseka tsopano koma ndinali wamantha kwambiri .. komabe, anaganiza kuti sindimangomva bwino ndipo sindinazindikire kuti nditha 2x mu theka la ola, mawonekedwe onse a American Pie.
Kutacha m'mawa, tinali kupusitsanso, ndipo timaliza kusamba. Nthawiyi inapita bwino kwambiri ... ndinamuchotsa pamanja kenako ndimagonana (opanda kondomu) mwina ngati 5 min kusamba ... koma anali wokonda kwambiri. Kupambana kwakukulu. Pazonse, ndimadzipatsa C- ya ma PE awiri koma osati F kuyambira pomwe ndidapanga m'mawa mwake. Ndikuganiza kuti andipatsa B + popeza samadziwa kwenikweni za PE.
Ziribe kanthu, kumapeto kwa sabata sikunali kokhudza kugonana ndipo ndinasangalala kukhala naye komanso iye. Ndidadzimva ngati wopusa tsiku lotsatira nditabwerera ndipo ndimangofuna nthawi yopuma, koma kenako ndidapita kunyumba kwake ndikumacheza naye (yemwe ndimagona naye momwemo palibe chomwe chidali pafupi). Ndikupita patsogolo ndikukhala ndi chiyembekezo, komabe ndikumvabe manyazi. Ndikuyang'ana kuti ndigule makondomu okondweretsedwa koma ndimayesa ngati apezeka mosavuta ku Africa .. hm. Ndikungofuna kukhala bwino kale! Komabe, ndimatenga ma PEs pa Dick mmodzi wakufa nthawi iliyonse. Ndidziwitseni ngati muli ndi upangiri kapena ngati izi si zachilendo! Ndangokhala tcheru basi pano…
Wakhala sabata losangalatsa. Makamaka kuchokera pakusintha kwamaganizidwe.
Ndiloleni ndiyambire pomwe ndidachoka:
ubwino: Chibwenzi chanthawi zonse komanso zogonana zomwe ndimatha. Zomwe ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito… ndikugonana kanayi motsatira mzere kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga. Woohoo! Kuchepetsa nkhawa zamagulu.
Mavuto: Ndinali ndi maloto onyowa, ndikugawana kama wanga ndi bwenzi langa komanso bwenzi lathu (lachikazi). Haha, soo manyazi. Ndidadzuka ndikuzisamalira osazindikira iwo .. Ndimangodandaula kuti ndikubuula kapena kena kake mtulo. Komanso, maloto omwe amatsogolera ku WD anali… achilendo. Ndikudziwa kuti anthu ena adalemba za maloto awo ndipo palibe katundu wambiri amene ayenera kuyikidwamo .. koma malotowo akadzatha, ndidzakhala ndi "mphwayi" ya ulesi ndi kukhumudwa kwa tsiku limodzi kapena awiri pambuyo pake. Izi zimachitikanso pambuyo pa O… sindinakhalepo ndi izi m'moyo wanga, ndisanachite zolaula kapena nthawi ina. China chomwe ndazindikira, ndichakuti ndimagonana onsewa ... ndikuyamba kumva momwe ndinalili ndisanabwezeretsere, ngati ndikugwiritsa ntchito dopamine kwambiri pamankhwalawa (ngakhale ali odabwitsa ndipo msungwana wanga watsopanoyu ndiwodabwitsa !). Monga nkhawa zamagulu, kukhumudwa komanso kukhumudwa kumandibwerera. Mwinanso tidzapeputsa zogonana… 6 Os m'maola 24 ayenera kukhala rollercoaster ya CNS. Pali zigwa ndi nsonga zambiri zobwezeretsanso. Komabe, ... kodi aliyense anganditumizire ulalo wa mnyamatayo yemwe adapanga mawonekedwe azisinthidwe zake? Ndikuganiza kuti izi zindipatsa chikhulupiriro choti ndipitirirebe.
Chifukwa chake patha zaka kuchokera pomwe ndidatumiza komaliza. Tsopano ndi Marichi ndipo positi inali mu Novembala pomwe ndimakhala ku Africa. Sindinaonenso zolaula kapena maliseche kuyambira Ogasiti - ngakhale ndakhala ndikuwona zolaula, ndipo nthawi zingapo ndakhala ngati "ndimasewera" ndekha koma osati motalika kwambiri osangokhala zolaula kapena ndikuwonera zolaula zilizonse. Kwenikweni, atsikana omwe ndikuwadziwa anditumizira zithunzi zamaliseche, ndipo ndani angakane? haha. Komabe, ndakhala ndikudziletsa kale zolaula.
Masiku a 232 ndi nthawi yayitali ndipo zosintha zamisala zachitika. Kaya izi zikuchitika chifukwa cha PM, sindikudziwa. Choyamba: mu Ogasiti, ndimalemera mapaundi 138, tsopano ndikulemera pafupifupi 165. Osandilakwitsa, ndili bwino ... ndakhala ndikupita kumalo olimbitsira thupi tsiku lililonse kuyambira kumapeto kwa Disembala pomwe ndimachokera ku Africa. Ndikuwoneka bwino ndipo sindichitanso masewera olimbitsa thupi ... zimamveka bwino kutsekedwa. Ndimakondanso kwambiri. Ndikanati kamodzi patsiku ndimatsegulidwa! Ndilibe noooooo nkhawa zamagulu konse, zomwe zimandivutitsa kwambiri pomwe ndimakhala PMOing nthawi zonse. Ndilinso wotsimikiza kwambiri pazokambirana ndipo ndimakhala womasuka kuyimirira ndekha, komanso sindisamala za "zazing'ono". Ndine wocheperako ndipo musalole kuti mavuto andigawike kwambiri. Komabe, ndinali ndi chibwenzi kwakanthawi (onaninso zolemba zam'mbuyomu). Tinali ndi zolaula zokongola. Ndinayenda kanayi motsatizana usiku umodzi, kugona kwa maola angapo kenako ndikupita kawiri. Ngakhale kuti zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri, ndinayesa yohimbe (wokakamiza kugonana) ndipo ndimagwiritsa ntchito makondomu (ndimakhala wovuta kwambiri popeza sindine PM). Komabe, ndili pachibwenzi, kugonana kunali kwabwino ndipo pafupifupi ndimatha mphindi 2-10, nthawi zina zochulukirapo, nthawi zina zochepa. Komabe, tidasiyana ndipo ndabwerera ku US ndipo tsopano ndikudalira kuyimba kwa anthu kuti ndikwaniritse izi.
Izi ndizovuta. Ngati sindimamwa mowa / sindinamwe mowa… .. Ndimakhudzidwa msanga ndikumasilira msanga msanga. Zinachoka kwa bwenzi lathu popeza tinali kuzichita kwambiri koma ma blowjobs owerengeka komanso zofulumira sizimandikhumudwitsa. Sindikusamala ngakhale, ndikupezabe kuchitapo kanthu. Ndinganene kuti ndidakali 50/50 pazabwino ndikukumana ndi zoyipa (ndisanayimitse PM, ndinali 50/50 pakupanga erection kapena ayi, tsopano ndili 50/50 pa kukodzedwa msanga kapena ayi) Ndimalimba mtima kuti PE isakhale yovuta, bola ndikungotulutsa katundu ndipo chowiringula changa ndikungomuwuza msungwanayo kuti watentha kwambiri sindingathe kudziletsa ndipo "sindizolowera" ( zomwe zili zoona)… sindisamala.
Lang'anani… musananditchulire mamuna: izi ndi zomwe zachitika m'maola 48 apitawa. Ndinkamwa / msungwana / ndaledzera komanso ndimangolumikizana. Kupeza chochita chamasewera pang'ono ndikamulowetsa koma ndikumva bwino kwambiri kotero ndimatuluka, ndikumutaya, ndikumulola kuti andimalize pakatha mphindi zochepa pakamwa. Pafupifupi mphindi 30 ndikulimbananso ndipo amandimenyanso, ndipo ndimangokhala mphindi khumi (dunno zowonadi, anali ataledzera). Soo… eya sindine wokondwa kwambiri kuti sindinathe kukhala motalika kwambiri mwa iye, koma zilizonse. Ndiye usiku watha, mtsikana wina amabwera. Nthawi yoyamba talumikizidwa ndipo pali ma humping ambiri ouma, malaya, ali ndi ma boob akulu ndipo sindimatha kudziletsa, mwina chifukwa inali 2am ndipo ndimakhalabe ndikumverera kuyambira usiku wapitawu koma humping wouma pamenepo zimandipangitsa kuti ndiphulitse katundu wanga. Mu thalauza langa. Sazindikira ndipo ndine wanzeru ndipo ndimangomaliza panthawiyi komabe…. kwenikweni? Mu buluku langa ?!
Chifukwa chake funso langa ndi ili: Ndikuvomereza mwamtheradi kuti zolaula ndizoyipa sooooo. Koma kodi kuseweretsa maliseche ndikoipa? Ndikumva ngati ndili ndi mphamvu zambiri zogonana… mwina ndikakhala ndi maliseche nthawi zina (osati zolaula - koma atsikana enieni m'maganizo mwanga) sindingatengeke msanga msanga? Ndimakumanabe ndi mpweya wa usiku ngati kamodzi pamwezi ndipo ndimakonda kumva ngati "matsire" tsiku lotsatira. Malingaliro ??? Tithokoze chifukwa chothandizidwa ndikudzimva bwino kukhala pamasiku opitilira 232.
Patha pafupifupi chaka chimodzi ndi miyezi iwiri kuchokera pomwe ndidapeza tsamba lino mu Ogasiti 2010 ndipo ndidaganiza zosiya zolaula komanso maliseche. Ndikuganiza kuti ndibwino kunena kuti ndayambiranso.
Thanzi lakugonana lasintha kwambiri ndipo ndakhala otseguka kwambiri / kinkier. Tsopano ndatsala pang'ono pafupifupi miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kukhala pachibwenzi chomaliza kwambiri kuposa kale lonse. Uwu ndiye ubale wachiwiri womwe ndidakhala nawo kuyambira pomwe ndinayambiranso ntchito (yoyamba idatenga miyezi 3 kapena 4 isanatuluke) koma asanafike Ogasiti chaka chatha ndimangokhala ndiubwenzi potengera zolanda anthu. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikunena pano pomwe: mchaka chathachi ndidakhala ndiubwenzi wathanzi kwa miyezi 9 pa miyezi 12 yapitayi; komabe palibe izi zisanachitike (ndili ndi zaka 25). Komanso, kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga ndimakonda kuchita zachiwerewere pamtsikana (poyerekeza ndi kuyambiranso, sizikanachitika). Komabe, mchaka chatha, mwina ndidagona ndi atsikana a 12 + (ndine wowoneka bwino lol) ndipo sindinakhalepo ndi vuto lililonse, kupatula kuti ndimangotaya msanga nthawi yayitali usiku umodzi koma nditawona mochedwa ndimatha kusamalira zochepa, ndipo mungoseka za izi tsopano.
Komabe, ndinali ndi mavuto azaumoyo omwe nthawi zina anali ovuta kwambiri. Kuda nkhawa (komwe kudakhala ndi mantha kumapeto kwa Ogasiti 2011, milungu ingapo nditayimilira) ndipo kupsinjika kwabwera ndikudutsa - ndakhala ndikutenga St. John's Wort kuti ndithandizire ndi nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa kuyambira Marichi. Ngakhale ndikuganiza kuti mavuto aliwonse amisala ndi ovuta kwambiri kuti asalumikizane ndi PMO, ndiwodziwika bwino chifukwa PMO akuti imathandizira kupirira kwa dopamine. Zambiri mwazokhudzana ndi sukulu ya grad, chikhalidwe chosokoneza (kukhala ndikupita kunja), komanso nkhawa yayikulu yantchito yanga (ndikusintha kukhala wophunzira pantchito). Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zomwe ndidazindikira, mwamaganizidwe, ndikuti zomwe ndikuika patsogolo zasintha. Ndikumva ngati kuyimitsa PMO kwandithandizira kukalamba mpaka kufika pomwe ndimayenera kukhala. M'mbuyomu, nthawi zonse ndimawoneka wachichepere, tsitsi lakumaso linali losalala, ziphuphu nthawi zina. Tsopano… Ndimawoneka wachikulire, tsitsi lakale komanso tsitsi lakumaso limakhala lolimba, ndikulimba mtima pamakhalidwe (makamaka ndi akulu, omwe ndimawawona ngati anzawo). Vuto ndilakuti, popeza zofunika zanga zasintha, zomwe zimandilimbikitsa ndikundifotokozera ngati munthu (kuwunika dziko lapansi, kuthandiza anthu, kukhala ndi zikhalidwe zatsopano ndi zina) zikutsitsidwa. Zimangondipangitsa kumva kuti ndatayika m'moyo wanga pompano. Ndikutsimikiza kuti m'miyezi ingapo ndikonza zinthu koma zakhala zowongolera. Mumtima, mwakuthupi, pagulu, zilipo. Dunno ngati izi zikukhudzana kwambiri ndi china chilichonse koma ndikuganiza kuti ndinganene.
Chofunika kwambiri, ndizotheka kusiya PMO kuti mukhale ndi moyo wathanzi wogonana. Zitha kubweretsa, kapena kuthandizira, pazinthu zina zamaganizidwe zomwe zili pamwambapa, makamaka nkhawa ndi kukhumudwa. Zabwino zonse aliyense!
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