Ndine 25. Ndili ndi chiberekero chachikulu chachikazi chomwe chidayamba pafupifupi 12. Zolaula pa intaneti pa 14 komanso zolaula za pa 16/17. Kuyambira 17-24 zinali zolaula komanso maliseche tsiku lililonse. Mosalephera kwa zaka zambiri. Ndinali ndi nkhawa yayikulu yokhudzana ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu yomwe sinachokere ku zolaula, koma zolaula zidapangitsa kuti zikule kwambiri. Ndinalinso ndi OCD wofatsa komanso nkhawa wamba.
Nthawi zonse ndimamva kuti ubongo wanga ungalowe munthawi zoyipa pakagwa vuto lililonse. Mpaka zaka 24 kuseweretsa maliseche. Tsiku lina ndinalimba mtima kuyang'ana maliseche ovuta ndipo ngati zidamupangitsa ED, ndidapeza tsamba loti ndiyenera kusiya ndikugwirizananso ndi YBOP. Ndakhala ndikuyesera kusiya PMO pafupifupi chaka chimodzi. Ndili ndi masiku ambiri a 40, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti ndachiritsidwa pambuyo pa tsiku la 56.
Nkhani yanga ndi iyi ndi yodabwitsa komanso yosavuta, koma ndikuganiza kuti aliyense akhoza kunena chimodzimodzi. Ndili wokondwa kwa aliyense amene adagawana nkhani zawo pano, ndizolimbikitsa komanso zophunzitsa. Koposa chilichonse ndikuthokoza Gary Wilson chifukwa cha ntchito yomwe adayika. Kuposa ma forum awa ndidapezeka pa yourbrainonporn.com kumapeto, ndikuwerenganso malangizowo ndikamapita patsogolo.
Kuwonongeka kwa zolaula ndi erectile
Ndinkangogonana ku 22.
Ndili pabedi ndi akazi kuyambira 16-21 sindinadziwe choti ndichite. Sindingakhale wovuta. Sindinadziwe chifukwa chake ndiyenera kuvutikira, sizinali ngati zomwe ndimachita maliseche. Mbolo yanga idachepa ngati wina angaigwire. Zinali zoyipa. Ndili ndi ED kangapo, ndizovuta kunena kuti ndi angati chifukwa nthawi zina ndimapewa kukathera pabedi ndi mkazi chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti ndimupeza. Ndimagona ndikungoyembekezera kuti zikhale zovuta chifukwa, zimangochita zokha zolaula.
Ndiye tsiku lina ndinagonana ndi chibwenzi. Apa panali zaka 22. Apa pali chinthucho, izi zinali pokhapokha atagona ndi mkaziyu osagonana kwambiri chifukwa sanafune kugonana mwachangu kwambiri. Kuyang'ana m'mbuyo izi zinali ngati kubwelelanso kwina osadziwa. Ndinkasangalala nazo kwambiri. Ndili ndi chibwenzi izi zisanachitike tinkagona limodzi osagonana, koma nthawi zonse ndimamva kuwawa chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti akufuna kwa ine ndipo sindinathe kupereka. Sindikukumbukira, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndinayambanso kuyesetsa kuti ndisiye zolaula nthawi ino. Kuyesaku sikunatenge nthawi yayitali koma kunathandiza.
Kenako adayamba chaka chogonana ndikuwonera zolaula kwambiri. Kugonana sikunamveke bwino. Nthawi zonse ndimamva ngati kuseweretsa maliseche. Ndiyenera kulingalira zolaula momveka bwino kuti ndigone, zinali zotopetsa m'maganizo. Nditha kukhala kwakanthawi momwe ndimafunira. Zinali zabwino kwambiri, koma sindinathe kuganiza kuti kungogonana osaganizira kwambiri za izi. Ubalewu unatha ndili ndi 23, ndikutsimikiza zikadapitilira, ndikadakhala ndi PIED. Ubalewu utatha ndidayamba zolaula kwambiri. Ndinganene kuyambira 23-24 ndidadziwononga ndekha.
Zolaula
Ndimayang'ana zolaula ndikuchita maliseche kawiri patsiku, tsiku lililonse. Ndinali ndi malingaliro odabwitsa okhudza wokondedwa wanga, koma uyenera kukhala ndi mwana wamkazi kuti umvetse izi. Ndapeza zolaula, ndinalipira ndalama zambiri zachilendo, makamaka zolaula za akazi. Sizinali zabwino. Koma sindimadziwa kuti izi ndizowononga. Ndinalibe zozizwitsa m'mawa. Simungayerekeze konse zovuta za mkazi m'moyo weniweni. Ndimaganiza kuti ndinali wonyansa kwambiri, ndimaganiza kuti pamapeto pake ndidzapeza mkazi ku BDSM ndipo izi zitha kundichititsa zolaula. Ndikayang'ana kumbuyo ndinali wosokonezeka kwathunthu. Mavuto aliwonse ku koleji kapena pantchito: zolaula zimapangitsa kuti zikhale bwino. Kuchokera pamlingo wa chisangalalo cha 1-10, kupeza makanema atsopano azolaula anali 10 yanga. Izi sizinali zolondola.
Zowonjezera za ED
Chaka chapitacho ndidalandira GF, m'modzi mwa atsikana otentha kwambiri omwe ndidawonapo, ndipo ndidakhala ndi PIED. Apa ndipamene ndimayang'ana zolaula, ndinapeza yourbrainonporn ndikuyamba kuyesa kusiya. Tidasiyana, ndipo ndidayamba kusiya PMO chaka chatha.
Zomwe zidandithandiza
Koposa zonse, kumvetsetsa izi: Ndimayenera kumenya zolaula ndi zinthu zozizwitsa. Sindikunena kuti ngati mumakonda zolaula ndiye kuti ndinu munthu wamanyazi. Ndikutanthauza, ndinali, komabe. Chotsani m'moyo wanu, ikani zinthu zabwino m'malo mwake. Kuyenda. Kuchita ma push 20 m'mawa uliwonse. Zinthu zophweka chifukwa izi ndizodabwitsa mukaziyerekeza ndi zolaula.
Ndipo ngati muli ngati ine, mungafunenso kumvetsetsa izi: mudzamva manyazi ndipo zili bwino. Ndikakangana ndi munthu wina kapena china chake chovuta chidandigwera masana, zinali zolaula zolaula ASAP. Kusiya zolaula izi kumachitika m'malo mwake: Ndimakhala pansi, ndikumva manyazi. Ndikuganiza kuti "zinali zoyipa". Ndinazindikira koyamba kuti zinali bwino, ndipo zitha. Ndinaganiza kuti kuyankhula kwandithandiza. Kulemba zamakalata kunathandiza. Ndinaganiza kuti ndikhoza kumangokhalira kumangokhalira kuchita zoipa zomwe zimandipangitsa kumva bwino, koma mosiyana ndi zolaula sizinandiwononge. Koma pafupifupi theka la nthawiyo, ndinangotenga. Ndinagona popanda PMOing ndikumva manyazi. Ndipo sizinandiphe.
Njira Yamoyo ndi Google Spreadsheets. Way of Life ndi pulogalamu yabwino kuti foni yanu isatsatire PMO. Zinandithandiza kwambiri. Zinali zonse zomwe ndimazisamalira kwa miyezi yambiri koma Google Spreadsheets ndidazipeza kukhala zabwino kwambiri pongotsatira palibe PMO ndi zizolowezi.
Kuwerenga zonse zomwe ndikadatha kupeza pano ndi yourbrainonporn. Kuziwongolera, kuzimvetsa.
Kuganiza mozama komanso kuganiza motalika za moyo wanga komanso momwe ndidasokonezekera.
Mabuku. Mabuku onena za kusinkhasinkha, nzeru, ubongo, zizolowezi, mabuku othandizira (pali zabwino, pezani omwe mumawoneka bwino, ndipo ngakhale oyipa ndi othandiza). Ndinali ndi nkhawa zokhudzana ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu ndipo ndimawerenga zambiri pamenepo. Ndinawerenga mabuku onena za kudzidalira, kukhumudwa. Koma mabuku abwino azopeka nawonso adathandizadi. Ndalumikizidwa ndi laputopu yanga, ndipo izi zimapangitsa kuti kusiya zolaula ndizovuta kwambiri. Kuchoka kwakanthawi kwakanthawi ndikutayika m'buku lamapepala kunathandiza kwambiri. Ngati mukuganiza kuti simuli wowerenga wamkulu mukulakwitsa: pezani buku lomwe mumakonda ngakhale mukuyenera kuyamba makumi awiri simumatero.
Kusinkhasinkha. Zovuta kulowa, mutengemo buku.
Masewera olimbitsa thupi. Zandichitira zodabwitsa. Ndinkakayikira kwambiri izi, koma ndizodabwitsa zomwe zingapangire munthu.
Ndinadziuza kuti sindigonana chaka chimodzi. Ndipo panali pafupi chaka chimodzi. Tinder, Facebook ndi OKCupid zachedwetsa kuyambiranso kwanga, koma nthawi yomweyo ndimasungulumwa kwambiri popanda iwo. Ndinkakonda kupita kokacheza pano ndi apo, koma kwenikweni zomwe zinayamba kuchitika ndikulingalira kwanga kuti akazi ndi akazi agonane. Ndinkangoyang'ana kwambiri zinthu zina monga ntchito kotero kuti ndinalibe nthawi ya Tinder. Koma muyenera kudziweruza nokha. Zomwe zidathandiza kwambiri ndi zomwe Gary adanena zakukhala woyendetsa sitima yako. Ndinayamba kuphunzira kudalira zachibadwa zanga. “Kodi izi ndi zolakwika? Winawake adalemba kuti adachita, koma zikundimva kukhala zolakwika kwa ine ”, ndiye mwina ndizolakwika.
Palibe PMO akutsitsa ndi kufota Idakwera komanso kutsika kwambiri ndipo idali yowononga mutu. Ndimayamba zovuta, ndimakhala ndi masiku ochepa ovuta, kenako chisangalalo, ndiye kuti chilakolakocho chimangobwerera pang'onopang'ono mpaka sizingatheke kukhala PMO. Zinkawoneka ngati ndilibe chochita. Ndimagona tulo, ndimakhala ndi nkhawa. Ndimalolera kuti ndiyang'ane zolaula, ndikawona ngati palibe chatsopano, siyani. Pambuyo pake, fufuzani kachiwiri, kenako muzidya. Matenda okhumudwa. Yambanso. Nayi chinthu ichi: Ndilibe mphamvu zambiri. Koma zomwe ndidachita ndikuyesera ndikukwanira kwambiri m'moyo wanga kwakuti ndinalibe nthawi yolaula Ndiye simukusowa kufunikira. Ntchito, mabuku, masewera olimbitsa thupi, zosangalatsa. Ndili ndi zokonda zatsopano ziwiri kungochita china. Ndinapanga anzanga kudzera mwa iwo. Izi zinandipatsa zinthu zambiri zoti ndichite. Ndidayesera kuphunzira kulemba, kulephera, kuyesa kuphunzira Chijeremani, kulephera. Gitala, yalephera, mwachisoni pa iyo. Koma ndidawachotsa pamndandanda ndipo pamapeto pake ndidapeza zinthu zomwe ndimafuna kuchita.
Chimaliziro Chomaliza
Koma kunena zowona, msomali womaliza mu bokosi la PMOing anali mkazi. Koma ndinangokumana ndi mayi uyu poyesera kukhala munthu wodabwitsa yemwe sanachite PMO tsiku lililonse. Ndinangomusangalatsa chifukwa chodzidalira kuchokera kwa PMOing m'malo mwake ndimachita zinthu zozizwitsa, zomwe sizimangokhala kupatula maliseche zolaula kawiri patsiku. Ndipamene ndidati "Mutha kutenga PIED ndi iyi, kapena mutha kutero, koma simuli PMOing kachiwiri. Yang'anani zolaula ndipo musachite maliseche, maliseche koma osayang'ana zolaula, simukuchitanso zonsezi "
Kumayambiriro kwa chingwechi ndidachita misala. Ndikanakhala ndi maboners tsiku lonse. Ndimaganiza kuti ndachiritsidwa, koma ndimangopitilira momwe ndingathere popanda kugonana, maliseche kapena PMOing.
Kenako milungu itatu isanachitike zogonana ndimakhala ndi mbiri yoyipa kwambiri yomwe ndidakhala nayo. Ndikuganiza ndi ma streaks ena, ndimakhala wochuluka kwambiri, ndikuchita maliseche ku zolaula zomwe ndimakumbukira. Zitha kukhala kuti anali PMOing, koma ndimayeso awa ndinayesera PM kukhala akazi enieni momwe angathere. Ndikuganiza kuti izi zidandipangitsa kuti ndilowe m'malo oyenera.
Ndipo zinali zowopsa. Sindingakonde kwa aliyense. Maboners anaima. Mbolo yanga imamverera yaying'ono. Sindinkafuna kuyang'ana zolaula (zomwe zinali zopumula). Ndinadzimva wokhumudwa, wodandaula kachiwiri. Ndinalibe mphamvu. Ndinalakwitsa pachilichonse. Sindinkafuna kugona koma sindinkafuna kuchita zambiri. Ndikudabwitsidwa kuti sindinagundidwe ndi galimoto kapena china m'masabata ano. Zinkawoneka ngati ndili mkati mwanga, koma sindinathe kudziletsa bwino, sindinathe kuyankhula ndi munthu moyenera kapena kuchitapo kanthu mwachangu.
Sindingalowemo, koma zidafika pano kapena sizinakhalepo ndi mkaziyo.
Tidagona, adangofuna cuddle. Zabwino. Palibe zopangira. Shiti. Chabwino, zinali kumvekera bwino.
Kenako tsiku lotsatira tinagonanso. Ndinali wodera nkhawa kwambiri. Ndinalibe erection m'masabata atatu. Ndikugona naye ndipo, mwanjira ina, zonse zidabwerera. Kukula kwakukulu. Chidaliro changa chidabwerera. Ndisanadziwe kuti timagonana. Sindinkafunika kuganizira za izi. Zinali zosangalatsa.
Kuonera zolaula kumapangitsa kuti ndikhale wosangalala kuposa kugonana komwe ndakhala nako ndikakhala ndi zolaula. Palibe zolaula zomwe zimabwereza m'mutu mwanga kuti ndikhalebe ndi erection. Sindinabwere mwachangu kale. Ndimamva ngati sindinayilamulire kwa nthawi yoyamba. Osasowa mphindi 40 zamasewera, ndinali wokonzeka kupita. Ndipo ndakhala ndikugonana tsiku lililonse kuyambira pamenepo. Ndi chinthu chopambana. Sindikukhulupirira. Zimakhala bwino nthawi iliyonse, nthawi iliyonse zimandipangitsa kuti ndizigwiranso ntchito pang'ono. Ndinaganiza kuti ndiyenera kukhala osachepera masiku 90 osakhala PMO nthawi ino, koma ndikuganiza kuti ma streaks onse anali ndi vuto lina muubongo wanga.
Ndimaganiza kuti mlandu wanga ndi mlendo komanso wakuya kuposa zomwe ndimapeza, koma ndidazichita. Zinali zovuta, zopsinjitsa, zimawoneka ngati zoopsa, koma ngati ndingathe kuzichita aliyense angathe.
LINK - Kugonana tsiku lililonse pambuyo masiku 56 palibe PMO streak (ndi chaka cholephera)
NDI - faofao
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