Ndikudziwa kuti ndi yayitali kwambiri, koma ndakhala ndikupeza malingaliro ambiri pamutuwu sabata yapitayi, ndipo zimawoneka ngati zoyenera kuziyika mu lipoti langa la 'masiku 90', ndiye… nazi.
- Chiyambi
Masiku 90 apitawo, ndinkakayikira kwambiri NoFap. Nkhani ya TED inali ndi malingaliro angapo osangalatsa m'menemo omwe adandigwirizana, makamaka malingaliro okhudzana ndi mayankho ofunafuna mphotho. Zinali zomveka bwino kuti ngati mungadule maswiti am'mutu, pang'onopang'ono mudzaphunzitsanso malingaliro anu kuti mukazipezeko kwina. Popeza ndinali ndi milungu ingapo ndisiya kusuta ndi kumwa, ndinali ndimaganizo oyenera othetsera vuto latsopano kuti ndiwone zomwe zikuchitika.
Sabata yoyamba inali yosavuta kwambiri, ndadzaza kale ndandanda yanga ndi zinthu zoti ndichite kuti ndisamangoganizira mavuto anga, sindinkaganiza zongowonjezera. Sabata 2 idayamba kundipangitsa kukhala wodandaula komanso wokhumudwa, ndipo sabata la 3 ndimaganiza kuti ndipita mtedza. Njira zanga zokha zothanirana ndi izi zinali kutopa kwambiri kapena kutuluka ndikumangocheza ndi anzanga kapena kuyesa kupita kukakumana ndi anthu atsopano, kapena kungopita kwina komwe sindinakhaleko kale.
Apa ndipamene ndidazindikira china chake chodabwitsa ... nkhawa zanga sizinapezekenso. Kapenanso, idalipo, koma imatha kuwongoleredwa pamlingo woti inali yonyalanyaza. Ndinayamba kuzindikira momwe anthu ena amandichitira, ndipo ndinachitapo kanthu pa zomwe amandichitira. Mwachidule, ndimamva ngati ndimayang'anira zokambirana zambiri zomwe ndimakhala, ngakhale kuti sindinayambe kulankhula.
Zomwe ndikutanthauza ndikuti, simuyenera kuchita mokweza ndi alpha kuti mulamulire chidwi cha anthu. Pali njira zambiri zobisika zomwe zimakhudzira machitidwe a anthu kuposa izi, chinthu chofunikira chomwe ndazindikira mwa ine ndikungokhala kumvetsera. Ngati mumakhala ndi chidaliro chachikulu chamkati, anthu amangochimvera, amalemekeza, ndipo amakhudzidwa nazo kwambiri. Anthu adzasintha machitidwe awo ndi momwe amakulankhulirani ndi zomwe akukambirana makamaka momwe akudziwira momwe mumayankhira iwo.
Izi zitha kukhala zodziwika bwino kwa anthu ambiri, koma izi zidali zowunikira kwa ine, chifukwa zidandilola kuti ndizitha kulumikizana ndi anthu, chifukwa kamodzi m'moyo wanga, mayanjano omwe ndimakhala nawo anali olimbikitsa kwa ine, sindinatero ' Ndimamva ngati ndikumenyedwa pakona nthawi iliyonse ndikakhala pagulu. Kuposa zonsezi, mumayamba kumva bwino momwe anthu ena osatetezeka komanso kuda nkhawa mukawona izi, ndipo kusadzidalira kwanu sikuwoneka ngati kofunikira nthawi yomweyo kumvera chisoni kwanu.
- ubale
Ndakhala wosakwatiwa moyo wanga wonse, ndipo sindili wosakwatiwa tsopano, ndipo moona mtima, mwina sindikhala wosakwatiwa kwa nthawi yayitali ikubwera, ngati si moyo wanga wonse. Ndidakwanitsa kucheza ndi msungwana m'modzi yemwe ndimamufuna miyezi ingapo yapitayo, yomwe inali chinthu chachikulu kwambiri kwa ine popeza sindinagonepo zaka 4, (ndili ndi zaka 26 tsopano) koma mwachizolowezi , kunalibe chilichonse chakukopa kwenikweni kuti tikhale pamodzi.
Izi zati, ndili ndi ubale wabwino kwambiri ndi akazi tsopano kuposa kale lonse m'moyo wanga, ndipo ndikutha kunena motsimikiza kuti ndikudziyika ndekha posankha. Moona mtima, ndakhala ngati… sindimakonda zipsinjo zogonana. Sindikonda kudziona ngati waluntha, koma pali china chake chachikale kwambiri pamiyambo yamakedzana yamasiku ano yomwe imangokhala yopanda malingaliro kapena luntha. Ili ndi temberero lokhala ndi siliva m'mene, chabwino, palibe njira yachangu yopezera anzanu kuposa kuyambitsa kufunsa kozama pamalingaliro azimayi ndi nzeru zawo.
Komabe, monga 'beta' monga izi zikuwonekera, zandichititsa kuti ndizidalira komanso kukhala ndiubwenzi ndi anthu omwe ndimawona kuti ndiwosangalatsa komanso osangalatsa kwa ine, ndipo magulu omwe ndakhala nawo apindula kwambiri chifukwa cha izi. Kuposa pamenepo, zomwe ndakumana nazo zandipatsa kuzindikira kwakanthawi kwamankhwala azachikazi achikazi komanso zenera pazovuta zambiri zomwe anthu amakono amapatsa azimayi, komanso momwe kudzidalira kwawo kumakhalira makamaka pamakhalidwe achinyengo. Zomwe ndikuwona ndi gulu lomwe limalimbikitsa anthu kuchita zinthu m'njira zina, ndipo ngati mtundu wamtunduwu womwe mukudziwonetsa wekha sukugwirizana ndi omwe inu muli, ndiye kuti muli nokha pakakhala zanzeru zakusokonekera kwamalingaliro.
Ndikuganiza kuti ndingathe kumvetsetsa izi pamagulu ambiri, popeza sindinathenso kulandira zomwe ndimaganiza kuti ndiyenera kukhala nazo kuti ndikwaniritse anthu, chifukwa mfundo ndi… chabwino, palibe amene amasamala. Osati kwenikweni. Anthu okhawo omwe angawasamalire ndi abwenzi, ndipo malingaliro amzake ambiri amakhalabe osakhazikika pamapeto pake pazomwe atolankhani ndi chikhalidwe zimawauza kuti ayenera kuyamikira. Uku ndikudzipatula kwakukulu, chifukwa chake ndimayamikira nthawi yomwe anthu angakhale kwenikweni ndi wina ndi mnzake, ngakhale kwa mphindi zochepa, ndipo ichi ndi chifukwa chachikulu chondichotsera mpikisano wa masewera andewu yamasiku ano.
- Kuchita ndi Chikhumbo
Ndiye nditatha kuzindikira zomwe ndimakonda, ndikukhala wolimba mtima kuti nditha kukhala wodziletsa, ndidakhalabe ndi nkhawa komanso ndikakhumudwa. Moona mtima chomwe ndimamva kuti nditha kuchita ndikugwiritsa ntchito nkhawa ngati mafuta kuti ndichite chinthu chomwe ndimawona kuti chitha kundipindulitsa mwanjira inayake, kaya ndi kuphunzira, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kapena kudzikonza, kapena ndingotenga nthawi kuti ndilingalire za nkhawa zomwe ndikukumana nazo ndikungosinkhasinkha kwa nthawi yayitali momwe ndimafunira kuti malingaliro andigwere.
Mwa njira zambiri, ndimaganiza kuti ndikudzinamizira, kuti ndinali bomba lanthawi, kuti moyo wanga ukhale wabwino komanso wokwaniritsa ndikasiya kuganiza kwambiri ndikukwaniritsa zolakalaka zanga, kaya ndi zolaula komanso maliseche, kapena kumangopita kukacheza ndi kukhala ngati anthu wamba. Koma m'njira zambiri, ndidatsegula bokosi la Pandora, ndipo zomwe ndikuwona ndi gulu lomwe ladzaza ndi anthu omvetsa chisoni. Aliyense amene ndimamudziwa ali ndi mavuto pachibwenzi, aliyense amene ndimamudziwa akusewera mwambi, ndipo palibe m'modzi wa iwo amene angafotokozere zomwe akufuna komanso zomwe akufuna kukwaniritsa.
Ndikutanthauza, monga munthu wotsatira, nditha kuyamika mkazi wabwino ndikamuwona ndikumuganizira za iye ndikukhala 'kuyesera kuti ndidziwe zonse', koma… Ndikumva kupusa ngakhale ndikunena izi, koma malingaliro onsewo ndimangomva kuti sindimadziwa zenizeni, titakhala ndi zokumana nazo zambiri zenizeni zenizeni zenizeni komanso zovuta zambiri komanso zobisika zomwe zimalowa pachibwenzi komanso momwe zimavutira kuthana ndi tanthauzo mwakukumana kwachinyengo. Kwa nthawi yayitali ndimangoganiza kuti ndinali wolumala, mwina ndinali ndi vuto linalake lachiwerewere, kapena ng'ombe ina ya Freudian. Koma moona mtima, sindingathe kugwedeza malingaliro angawa pachifuwa kuti ndi gulu lonse lomwe lili ndi vuto lakumverera, magulu a anthu omwe sangathe kulumikiza madontho pakati pazogula, kulakalaka, ndi kukwaniritsidwa kwamkati… zikuwoneka kuti anthu apanga zachilengedwe, ndipo zonse zomwe tingachite ngati abambo ndi amai ndikudzaza zabwino zathu momwe tingathere.
Izi zimandikhumudwitsa pazifukwa zambiri, osati zochuluka chifukwa sindikupeza zambiri monga momwe ndikufunira, koma kuti dziko lonse lapansi likuwoneka kuti silingathe kuyandikira njira yoyenera, kuti yonse , tapanga makola athu komanso madigiri otilekanitsa. Sindikumva manyazi pozindikira zopinga izi ndikuchita zomwe ndingathe kuti ndiwathetse, koma pali lingaliro lodzipatula munkhalanso.
Ndikulakalaka nditapereka upangiri wotonthoza, koma chinthu chokha chomwe ndinganene apa ndi… zimapindulitsa kuphunzira kukonda ululu. Chiyambireni chinthu cha NoFap ichi, ndayamba kuthamanga kwambiri, ndikuphunzira mpikisano wothamanga, ndipo nthawi zina ndimadzikakamiza nthawi zovuta. Koma monga othamanga ena angatsimikizire, pali kunyada kwakukulu ndikukwaniritsidwa komwe kumapangitsa kuti kukhale koyenera, chisangalalo chomwe chimapangitsa kuti kuzimirako kutha. Ndiwo fanizo labwino kwambiri lomwe nditha kukhala nalo pakanthawi kodziwikiratu kodziletsa, koma kumverera ndikowona, komanso kopitilira matenda athu munjira zambiri.
- Tsogolo
Sindingathe kubwerera, pokhapokha nditakumana ndi zoopsa zina kapena ngati mzimu wanga ndi mphamvu zatsika kwambiri. Nthawi zina ndimayang'ana mmbuyo momwe ndinaliri miyezi itatu yapitayo, momwe ndinalili wopsinjika mtima, wosowa chiyembekezo komanso wopanda chiyembekezo m'malingaliro anga anali ... akadali kowonekera bwino m'malingaliro mwanga, ndipo ndikudziwa motsimikiza kuti sindinakhaleko pafupi ndi boma malingaliro kuyambira pachiyambi cha chinthu ichi cha NoFap. Pali kanema yomwe ndidapeza yolumikizidwa pano ndi nthano zafilosofi yokhudza chisangalalo Nietzche ndi zovuta Zomwe ndikukhulupirira kuti zimakhudzidwanso ndi zomwe ndakumana nazo pafupi, zomwe ndimalimbikitsa kuti ndiziziwonera.
Mwachidule… nthawi zina zimakhala zosavuta kulumpha gulu la NoFap chifukwa mumakhulupirira kuti lithetsa mavuto anu onse amoyo kapena kukupangitsani kukhala 'maginito a nkhuku' kapena china chilichonse, ndipo palibe kukayika m'malingaliro mwanga kuti zimathandiza madigiri osiyanasiyana kutengera pa omwe inu muli, koma ndikuganiza kuposa pamenepo, NoFap ndichithandizo m'njira yodziwonetsera, chimatithandiza kuzindikira zomwe tikufunitsitsadi komanso momwe timadziwira dziko lapansi chifukwa timachotsa dzanzi lomwe limayenda mosangalala nthawi zonse chitani njira zathu zamitsempha. Ndikutanthauza, psychology yomwe ili kumbuyo iyi ili mlengalenga, koma ndakhala nthawi yambiri ndikuganizira za nkhaniyi, ndipo sindingaganizire zoyipa chilichonse chonena za NoFap kupatula kuzinyalanyaza mwanjira zina, koma ndizo malingaliro osazindikira, ndipo sayenera kukhala nkhawa kwenikweni kwa aliyense amene akufunitsitsa kudzikonza okha. Zithunzi zolaula ndizofanana ndi mtsuko wachikuni. Mukudziwa zomwe zili mmenemo, mumadziwa momwe zimamvekera, ndipo mukudziwa zomwe zidzakuchitireni ngati mungakonde.
tl; dr Haha, eya.
KULUMIKIZANA NDI POST - Masiku a 90 a NoFap ndi machitidwe odziletsa
by Aculem
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