tsiku 22
Chifukwa chiyani zidanditengera nthawi yayitali kuti ndipeze malowa?! Nayi nkhani yanga, 31 wazaka, wopambana pantchito yanga, wokongola moyenera, wathanzi, wopirira zinthu, kuyendetsa njinga, kuthamanga, maulendo atatu nthawi zonse koma ndimakhala ndi chidutswa chosowa kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo sindimatha kudziwa zomwe zinali. YBOP inandigunda ngati matani a njerwa pafupifupi mwezi wapitawu.
Nditafika ku dorms chaka choyambacho ku koleji, ndinazindikira kuti anali ndi intaneti yothamanga tsiku lililonse tsiku lililonse ndipo ndinazindikira mwachangu zigawo za intaneti. Zithunzi zowoneka ndi zinthu zamiseche zinali zambiri panthawiyo. Sipanatenge nthawi kuti ndinayamba kukumana ndimavuto ena a ED, omwe ndinawasunthira chifukwa chomwa mowa.
Ubale wanga wapamtima ndi kompyuta yanga idakwera kuchokera pamenepo, sindinakhalepo wonyentchera, koma zithunzi zokhazikika mwachangu sizimagwiranso ndalama ndipo ndinachoka pa vidiyo yosinthika kupita pamakina otsutsa ovuta a pun. Mwa 22, masewera olimbitsa thupi adayamba kuchepa, ndidayamba kuvala, kutola kusuta kumawoneka ngati lingaliro labwino. GF wanga yemwe anali atakhala naye kwa nthawi yayitali adasiyana ndi ine, zomwe nthawi zambiri zinkachitika chifukwa cha manyazi komanso kukhumudwa kwanga ndi ED zomwe zikupita, zomwe zidandipangitsa kuti ndisamachedwe komanso kukwiya. Ndidasinthanso motengera kusakhala kwawonekedwe, kusuta, kumwa, etc.
Pambuyo pa kutha, ndidataya PMO kangapo patsiku. Mu zaka zingapo zotsatira, ndinali ndi maubwenzi angapo, koma ndinapezeka kuti ndikupewa atsikana omwe ndimakopeka nawo chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti ndikakhala ndi machitidwe a ntchito. Ndinamaliza kucheza ndi atsikana omwe sindimakopeka nawo kwambiri, ndimakonda kupewa kucheza, ndipo sindidawachitira ulemu asungwana awa ulemu ndi chisamaliro choyenera. Pafupifupi 26, nditadwala kwambiri, ndidasokoneza nkhope ndikuganiza zochepetsa thupi, kulowa masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuyamba kuthamanga, kudya bwino komanso kukhala wathanzi. Zotsatira zake PMO idagwa pang'ono chifukwa ndimakhala ndi nthawi yochepa, koma ndidali pomwepo pa desiki la kompyuta kamodzi kamodzi tsiku lililonse kapena masiku angapo. Ndinaonanso pang'ono kusintha kwina kwa ED, koma ngakhale pobwerera komwe ndimafuna kuti ndikhale wanzeru thupi ndidali ndimavuto ndipo ndidayamba kuganiza kuti ndili ndi vuto lanyumba yanyumba yanga yotsikira. Ndidalankhula ndi dotolo nditatha kuyankhula mozama komanso kuti ndilephere kunyada. Ndidamuyesa Viagra ndipo zimangothandiza pang'ono ndipo nthawi zambiri ndikatha kutsitsa ubongo wanga ndikuyamba kugona, ndiye kuti ndimakhala okonzeka kugwedezeka, titero. Zokhazokha zokhazokha zokhazokha zomwe ndimagonana ndi mtengo wam'mawa ndipo ngakhale zomwe zidayamba kuyipa komanso kukhala zabwino. Zinali zabwino pamene zinagwira ntchito, koma ma 19 nthawi zambiri kuchokera ku 20, sikuti zambiri zidachitika kumeneko. Ndinkadzuka, koma nthawi zambiri ndimangodikirira kuti ndidutse. Pakamwa panali kuwononga nthawi. Sindinadziwe chomwe chavuta ndi ine ndipo zimandinyamula mkati ndipo chaka chatha ndidadzimva kukhala wokhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa cha izi. Ndimakhala ndi mtsikana yemwe nthawi zina amadziponya ndipo ndimayesetsa kupewa chifukwa ndimadziwa ndikakhala wokhumudwa pabedi. Ndinali chisokonezo.
Pomaliza, Januwale 1 adazungulira. Ndidadzuka nditapendekera ndikuwononga kwambiri kuti ndigone pabedi langa tsiku latsopano osakhala ndi SO. Ndidasinthana ndikungosiya, kukhala moyo wanga mochita kusowa pogwira komanso nthawi yogwira mtima kwambiri ndikukhumba kudziwa kuti vuto langa ndi chiyani. Ndakhala ndikuwongolera zaka zingapo, kotero m'mene ndimasanthula mzimu, mwachidziwikire ndimayang'anitsitsa subs yanga. Ndidakugwirani mwangozi kwathunthu. Ndinachita chidwi. Ndinapita ku YBOP ndikudya ndipo nditatha kuwerenga mosamala, nditazindikira izi. Kodi ndikadatha kuchita izi ku ubongo wanga? Sindinakhulupirire kwenikweni poyamba, sindimakhulupirira chilichonse chomwe mumawerenga pa intaneti, ndinadziuza ndekha. Ndaganiza, helo, ndipita sabata. Ndidayamba Januwale 2, nthawi yomweyo ndidayamba kumva bwino, ndiyitchuleni placebo, itchuleni zomwe mungafune, koma nthawi yomweyo ndidamva bwino. Ndidapita sabata ndipo china chake chikuchitika, chidaliro changa chakale chidabweranso, ndidayamba kutenga ng'ombe ndi nyanga kuntchito, ndidalimbika mtima, ndidayamba kuyeretsa nyumba yanga, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kudakulirakulira ndipo kusinthika kwanga kumapita tsiku lililonse. Ma Urges anali ovuta, koma patatha sabata limodzi, ndimapanga mipira (kwenikweni) kuti ndichotse ma stash anga, osalembetsa komwe akupita, nsfw, ndi zinai, ndimaseseratu zolemba zonse, ndimataya masamba omwe adasungidwa, ndidatulutsa ma DVD ndi ma Mag omwe ndidasunga, Ndinatsuka nyumba ndendende komanso digito.
Izi zikuyimira, ndidadziuza. Ndatenga zaka khumi moyo wanga ndi zoyipa izi, ma 30 anga akhala dziko latsopano. Ndine woyendetsa njinga, nditakhala pansi moyipa ndikayipa ndidatembenukira kwa ngwazi yanga yomwe ndimakonda kwambiri, akunena a Jens Voigt “Takhazikika, Tiyendo” kupatula kuti anali "Tonthola, Bongo", mwanjira ina "Shut, dick", onse ovomerezeka a Germany. (Jens Voigt, akafunsidwa zomwe amachita atatopa ndipo miyendo yake ikuwotchedwa mu Tour de France amangoyankha kuti "Takhazikika, miyendo" kenako nkuyamba kukhala woyipa panjira yonse.)
Ndatha masabata a 3 pakadali pano ndipo ndakhala ndikukumana ndi zowawa, ndikuganiza kuti ndikulowa gawo lankhondo lakufa pakadali pano, koma tsiku lirilonse limakhala bwinoko muubongo wanga ndipo tsiku lililonse ndimakhala ngati ndikupeza wanga mojo kubwerera.
ZONSE! Ndakhala ndikugona pano, ili ndi gulu labwino kwambiri ndipo tili limodzi. Kuyambira tsopano ndizikhala otakataka pano ndipo ndikupangira izi zoyenera, palibe wina. Izi sizingakhale za aliyense, vuto la aliyense ndi losiyana, koma ngati muli pano, mwayamba kuwona zina zokhudzana ndi kugonana, akhale momwe iwo angakhalire. Ndikukhulupirira ndi mtima wonse kuti iyi ndi nkhani yanga, tsiku lililonse ndimakhulupirira kwambiri mumtima mwanga kuti malo ano ndi omwe adzandipangitsenso, ndipo ndi inu, ndinu mabwanamkubwa okongola, omwe mukupita pazinthu zomwezi, Ndiperekezeni kumeneko. Ndiyesani kukuthandizani inu anyamata komwe ndingathe pano ndipo ndikudziwa masabata anga a 3 osangalala kuti mudzandichitiranso zomwezo.
Dzina langa ndi AnotherSideoftheLeaf ndipo ndine wokonda zolaula ... ndi nthawi yoti FUCK ithe.
tsiku 60
TSIKU 60 !!! Tsoka, nyenyezi yaying'ono yagolide ija imawoneka yokongola. Zowonera mabanja pano.
Ndinalowa mu Beast Mode pambuyo pa sabata la 1, kuyendetsa mwamphamvu, chidwi, ndikutsimikiza kuti ndikhale munthu wabwino. Anandilimbikitsa kuti ndikhale munthu wokhotakhota, ndinayamba kudzuka ku 5am, kulimbitsa thupi kuposa momwe ndidapangira kale, ndikuyamba kuchita keto, kuyeretsa nyumba yanga, ndidatenga ng'ombe yamphongoyo ndi mipira kuntchito, nthawi zambiri ndimakhala moyo wanga mosiyana. Sindikunena kuti izi zidayambitsidwa ndi NoFap, koma zidalidi gawo lake, lizitcha placebo, lizitcha zomwe mukufuna, koma ndakhala ndikung'amba (ndikulumbira mwachiwonekere)
Ndikumva ngati sindinatenthe ngati momwe ndinali m'masabata angapo oyambilira, koma ndikuchitabe zosintha pamoyo zomwe ndimafuna kuchita ndipo ndimakondwera nazo zonse. Masabata ena akutha, ena ali pansi. Ndikumva kuti zokopa ndi mayesero oti zitheke zangokhala zochepa kwambiri, koma nthawi zonse munthu amene ali pansi pake amadzuka ndi mutu wonyansa ... zabwino zili patsogolo. Zimakhala bwino nthawi zonse. Pambuyo pa tsiku lililonse ndimamva kukhala wathunthu.
Chinthu china chachikulu chomwe ndazindikira ndi MAFUNSO… monga EMOTION enieni. Ndikumva ngati munthu yemwe ndinali 2 miyezi yapitayo anali loboti, wopanda malingaliro onse aanthu ngati kungoyenda m'moyo. Ndimalira masabata angapo apitawa, ndinali ndisanalire zaka khumi. Ndimakhala wosangalala nthawi zina. monga chimwemwe chenicheni. Ndizodabwitsa. Ndimakonda zinthu zambiri, kukhala panja, kuyenda ndi galu, kuyenda, matalala, chilichonse.
Apanso, ndikuganiza chisonkhezero changa chosintha moyo wanga m'magawo ONSE kuphatikiza ndi Nofap andipangiradi munthu wabwino.
Kudzisokoneza ndikofunika. Nthawi zonse pamakhala china chake chomwe chimafunika kuchitidwa, kuthirira mbewu, kuyenda galu, kukonza zingwe zomvera. Chipinda changa chapansi sichinakonzedwenso motere.
tsiku 100
Masiku a 100! Ndiye 2400hrs! Ndizo 144,000MINS!
Ichi chinali cholinga changa ndipo ndakwanitsa. Ndiganiza njira yodzipezera ndekha phindu, koma ulendowu wapereka mphotho zake. NoFap inali gawo lofunikira kwambiri pazomwe ndidatcha "New Year, New Me". Ndinagwiritsa ntchito zida za 7day NoFap kuti zindilimbikitse kugunda masewera olimbitsa thupi, kusintha kadyedwe kanga, kudula zizolowezi zina zoyipa ndikuyamba kupanga njira yatsopano. Ndili pansi pafupifupi 40lbs, ndimagwira ntchito kwambiri, ndimamva bwino, ndimagona bwino, ndili bwino.
Ndine munthu watsopano, sindikunena kuti inali NoFap yomwe imayang'anira zonsezi, chifukwa ndidasintha zambiri. Koma ndikuganiza kuti NoFap anali ndi zambiri nazo. Ndili ndi chidaliro kwambiri, ndimayenda ndi zina zotsekereza, ndimalankhula ndiulamuliro, ndili ndi chidaliro, cholimbikitsidwa, komanso chosangalatsa. Ndikuganiza za munthu yemwe ndidali 100 masiku apitawa ndipo ndikuwona chipolopolo cha munthu, amakhala maola ambiri nthawi yobisika m'chipinda chamdima. Ndimadziyerekeza ndikuwoneka ngati nyani wosalala, wanyansi, wofunidwa ndi kudzipenyerera ndekha kuti ndimalimbikitse kuchita bizinezi yanga yayifupi. Pali akazi enieni, akazi okongola kunja kwake. Ndimasowa kutuluka. Zowawa, si ineyo, ndiye winawake. Ndiye mbiri.
Zambiri, izi ndi zanga kutumiza koyamba ku NoFap. Izi ndi zanga 60 tsiku lowetsani. Nditatenga masiku a 100 kuti ndikhale bwino. Ndidangotuluka kumene muubwenzi wamanyazi ndipo ndidaganiza zokhala pachibwenzi, osagonana ndi amuna wamba, ndipo sindimachita chilichonse koma kungolakalaka ndekha kukhala munthu watsopano. Nthawiyo yatha. Amamva bwino, bambo. Mosapangana, ndinakumana ndi mtsikana watsopano ndipo tinakhala pa chibwenzi naye sabata yatha. Zinthu zinayenda bwino kwambiri. Chifukwa chake zidachitika kuti nthawi yanga yowerengeka ikatha, ndimakumana ndi mtsikana wodabwitsa. Wokongola, wanzeru, wopambana, munthu amene sindikadakhala naye mipira kuti ndilankhule naye kale.
Sindinayesepo mayeso a ED omwe ndidakumana nawo kale, koma ndili ndi chidaliro pankhaniyi. Mtengo wam'mawa wanga wabwerera kwathunthu ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimakhala ndi zodabwitsa. Palinso maulendo obwera ndi osasangalatsa, koma amakhala okweza kwambiri (ngati mukudziwa zomwe ndikutanthauza).
Chifukwa chake, masiku a 100 pansi. Ndidzadzipangira ndewu ndi botolo la scotch ngati mphotho, koma mphotho yanga siyikhala kubwerera ku njira zanga zakale. Gawo ili la moyo wanga latha, ine ndinangowonongera pa izo. Ndikhala ndikumamatira ku moyo wa NoFap. Ndimayendera nthawi ndi nthawi. Ndimakonda munthu yemwe ndakhala, ndikuwonetsetsa kuti amamamatira.
Ndiye ngati mukuganiza zothana ndi zovutazi, ndikuti MUZichita. Musaganize za izi ngati chinsinsi chamatsenga chomwe chimakupangani inu kukhala mulungu, koma pangani gawo kukhala lingaliro lakudzipangira nokha kukhala munthu yemwe mwakhala mukufuna kukhala. Chitani nokha, kudzipanga kukhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwinoko. Osakhala nyani wonyansa uja wobisika m'chipinda chamdima, wotsekeka, wamanyazi. KHALANI munthu amene mukudziwa kuti mutha kukhala. Tengani lupanga lija m'moyo, amayi, ndi malo abwino kunjako.
[Mayankho kwa mnyamata wina] Ndinali ndi milungu ingapo pomwe chilichonse chinali chongotuwa komanso chosasangalatsa, ndiye mwadzidzidzi ndinatulukamo. Ndine wotsimikiza kwambiri tsopano. Sindinganene momwe Mulungu alili sabata yoyamba, koma olimba mtima, olamulidwa, komanso wodalirika. Ndinali kuthamangitsa pamakoma sabata langa loyamba. Tsopano ndikungokhala bwino pakhungu langa ndipo zikuwonetsa.
Ndikuganiza kuti pakadali pano ndikakamira ku NoFap, koma sizikutanthauza kuti sindisintha malingaliro anga. Pakalipano, sindikufuna kuti ndikhalepo, ndimagwirizanabe ndi "wokalamba ine" ndipo ndimadana naye. Cholinga changa chatsopano ndikupeza msungwana, zomwe mwina zidachitika kale, ndikupanga chiwerewere changa. Komabe, ndakhala ndikuchita zolaula kwamuyaya.
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