Hei aliyense,
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Ndakhala ndikudandaula pazomwe ndinganene kwakanthawi tsopano, koma osafika kulikonse. Chifukwa chake ndaganiza zongoyamba kulemba kuti ndiwone komwe ndikathera. Chonde khululukirani zolakwika zilizonse zosagwirizana ndi zolakwika zina.
Izi zikupita. Ndine wamwamuna wazaka 35… ndikuganiza kuti ndiyenera kuzolowera kunena 36, popeza patangotsala milungu yochepa. Kuchita maliseche kuyambira ndili ndi 10, 11 kapena 12. Palibe magazini, zongopeka chabe. Ndili ndi intaneti ndili ndi zaka 18. Sindikukumbukira pomwe zolaula zidayamba kukhala vuto, koma ndi vuto pazaka khumi zapitazi. Sindinakhalepo ndi chibwenzi kapena kukhala pafupi kwambiri ndi mkazi kuti apange chibwenzi, ngakhale abwenzi. Ngakhale sindine namwali, ndili wokhumudwa.
Zaka zingapo zapitazo ndidapita ku hule ndi zotsatira zosakhutiritsa. Mutha kulingalira zomwe zachitika mu ola. Kusintha kwapakatikati panthawi yayifupi, koma zovala zitachoka, zidachoka mwachangu kwambiri. Nthawi zingapo zidabwerako pang'ono kuti 'ndithetse' unamwali wanga. Koma panthawi yonse yovutayi mbolo yanga sinamve kanthu ndipo sinatheretu. Zachidziwikire kuti ndidayimba mlandu wamanjenje, ndipo kumbuyo kwamaganizidwe anga ndidamunamizira. "Akadangomubweza kumbuyo kuti asonyeze mzerewo pansi pa msana wake, kapena kusuntha m'chiuno momwe ndimapezera achigololo". Kenako ndinayamba kuzindikira. Ndinali ndi mkazi wokongola atagona wamaliseche pamwamba / pansi / pafupi ndi ine. Ndiyenera kukhala wovuta, monganso ndikafika kunyumba, ndekha, kuseri kwa kompyuta.
Ndinkadziwa kuti zolaula ndizo zinali zovuta ... Ndipo sindinachite chilichonse za izo kwa nthawi yayitali. Zaka zambiri m'moyo wanga ndakhala ndikulephera kupanga komanso kucheza ndi anthu omwe asintha pang'ono pang'ono kukhala nkhawa zamankhwala komanso kupewa. Chilimwe chatha, nditatha milungu itatu ndili kunyumba ndekha, pamapeto pake ndidakhala ndi zokwanira ndipo nditabisalira mphuno yanga yoyipa ndidapita kwa dokotala. Ndidatsala pang'ono kutuluka, koma atandifunsira zina ndi zina pamphuno mwanga ndidavomereza kuvutika kwanga. Ichi chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri chomwe ndidachitapo m'moyo wanga. Kuvomereza zolephera zanga ndi zolakwa zanga kwa munthu wina sikunali kosaganizirika. Sindingathe kuyankhula misozi ili yonse ndimayesetsa kuti ndibisike. Koma ndidachita.
Zinayambitsa china chake mwa ine. Kupita kwa adotolo kunali kusinthika komwe kunandipangitsa ine kufuna kusintha malingaliro opanda chiyembekezo komanso osungulumwa omwe ndinali nawo mtsogolo mwanga. Tsono pomwe kutha kwa positi ya nofap september kudagundika kutsogolo, ndipo ndidakhala maola angapo ndikuwerenga zolemba zomwe zidali patsamba ili. Ndinaganiza ichi ndichinthu chomwe ndikanatha (ndikuyenera) kuchita.
Ndidakhazikitsa cholinga cha masiku 90 wamba omwe anali mchaka chatsopano, chifukwa chake ndidasankha january koyamba ngati tsiku langa lomaliza. Monga mphotho yokwaniritsira cholingachi ndinadzilonjeza ndekha kuti ndidzagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zoposa zomwe ndakhala ndikuwerenga ndikukopa akazi awiri okongola pakama. Zachisoni posakhalitsa ndidazindikira kuti ndiyenera kukhala ndikukhala ndi ndalama zambiri za kryptonite, chifukwa… palibe zopambana.
Kapena alipo? Ndakhala ndikuganizira zamphamvu zija ndi zomwe akanandichitira ndikadakhala nazo. Miyezi itatu yapitayi ya nofap komanso zolaula, kuphatikiza thandizo la chisamaliro cham'mutu chomwe ndapeza, malingaliro anga akhala omveka komanso osangalala. Wofunitsitsa kwambiri kuyang'ana kumaso ndikumwetulira. Kanthu kena kakuphulika mkati mwanga kuyesera kutuluka. NDIKAMALIZA nkhawa zanga, ndimadziwa kuti zidzatha. Ndikuganiza kuti ndizomwe zatchedwa zopambana ... koma sizoposa. Ndi mphamvu za anthu. Kugwidwa ndi chilichonse chomwe chikukulepheretsani m'moyo. Amangomverera kuti apamwamba pomwe amamasulidwa. Chabwino… ndikuyembekeza.
Chotsatira changa. Osatinso zolaula. OSATI. ZONSE. KANTHU. Ponena za nofap: sindikutsimikiza. Nditazindikira kuti zaka zanga zatsopano zitatu sizikanawoneka kuti mphotho yanga lero ikhala yabwino kumasulidwa. Koma tsopano ndazindikira kuti ndizomvetsa chisoni kukonzekera zotere mtsogolo muno. Chifukwa chake sinditero. Ndikudikira mpaka ndikafike masiku osachepera 100 kenako ndikulolera kuti zizichitika ndikakonzeka.
Pomaliza; mavuto anga azachuma adzathetsedwa ndi chithandizo chochokera ku chisamaliro chamaganizidwe pogwiritsa ntchito njira yolankhulirana, CBT kapena kuphatikiza (sindikudziwabe). Komanso zolemba zanga zodzithandizira pa intaneti ndikudzipereka kwambiri. Ndikhala wokondwa. Ndipanga anzanga atsopano. Ndipo ndipeza mkazi wabwino woti ndimukonde, ndikupangitsa kuti andikonde. Ndiyamba kukhala moyo wanga. Kusintha kwanga kwazaka zatsopano.
Zikomo nonse chifukwa cha nkhani zanu. Kuziwerenga kwandithandiza kwambiri. Khalani ndi fap komanso porn ya 2013 yaulere.
TL; DR Ingodutsa. Werengani izo .. kapena ayi.
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