Ndimaganiza kuti ndigawana nanu nkhani yanga yokhudzana ndi izi komanso momwe ndidagonjetsera chaka chatha. Ndinkawona zolaula nthawi zonse kuyambira azaka za 11-15, koma ndinapita ku Transexual zolaula, pazomwe zimayang'ana kumbuyo zimafanana m'nkhaniyi amafotokoza motalikirira. Zinakhala chinsinsi chokomera ine ndipo ndinataya chidwi chosewera mpaka azimayi mpaka pomwe ngakhale maliseche amadziona kuti ndi achilendo komanso amanyansidwa nthawi zina. Ndimaganiza kuti 'ndatembenuka', koma sindinawonepo zolaula ndipo sindingathenso kuonera zolaula.
Chifukwa chake ndidazindikira kuti ndiyenera kukhala “Wosinthika.” Ndidapitilizabe kuonera zolaula zolaula ndipo ndidagonana ndi akazi ambiri azaka zingapo ndipo ndikuchita manyazi kunena kuti ndidazigwiritsa ntchito pakukonda kwanga palibe 'kukonda' kapena ayi 'kumverera' kumeneko, anali njira chabe yopitira kwa ine nthawi zonse kumamveka kusokonezeka, koma ndimawona ngati iyi ndi njira yokhayo yomwe ndikanapezera buzz yanga.
Nditachita nawo zachiwerewere zomwe zitha kupangitsa kuti ena azisokoneza zolaula, ndidagwa pang'ono ndikuyang'ana pa intaneti kuti ndione ngati ndingapeze chilichonse chokhudza izi. Ndazindikira masamba osiyanasiyana azolaula ndipo pambuyo pake tsamba lanu 'Kuyanjananso' ndi 'Ubongo wanu pa zolaula' nditawerenga nkhanizi zonse zinali zomveka ndipo ndidakhala ndi mphindi yakuwala.
Kwa zaka zingapo zotsatira ndidayesetsa kuthana ndi zomwe ndidazindikira kuti ndizolakalaka zolaula, pamapeto pake ndidatha kupita masabata a 11 pakati pa 2012. Zosintha osati zongoganizira chabe zakugonana komanso moyo wanga wachitukuko zinali zakuthambo. Sikuti ndinangotaya zokopa za akazi achikhalidwe chokha, komanso ndinapanga chidwi cha azimayi omwe ali ndi mphamvu kuposa chilichonse chomwe ndimakumbukira. Amayi akundiyandikira kuti asinthe, zinali zodabwitsa kwambiri ndipo ndakukonda mphindi iliyonse.
Kuyambira pomwe ndidakhala ndi maubwenzi angapo abwino ndipo sindinamvepo bwino za moyo wanga, zonse zikukonzekera tsopano, sindifunanso zolaula ndipo ndili pamtundu wa zolaula zamtundu wankhani zolaula. Ndili wokondwa kwambiri tsopano. Zambiri zake ndi zosamveka, monga kuti zinali loto m'njira.
Komanso, kwa anyamata onse a HOCD kunoko, nayi mawu omwe angakuwonjezereni mokhazikika: "Ngati MUKUFUNA kuti mukupanikizika, mukusokonezeka." Ndipo ndi ochokera kwa Gay Therapist yemwe amathandiza anyamata ndi HOCD, kotero yesani kusiya kuda nkhawa!
PHOKOSA PADZIKO LAPANSI
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