Ndidayamba zolaula ndili wachinyamata ndimayimba ndikuyamba kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti mwachangu ndipo kuchokera pamenepo ndidagwirizana. Sizofunika kwambiri kuti zonse zidayamba bwanji. Chofunika ndichakuti pamapeto pake ndinapanga zosintha kuti ndikhale ndi kuchira kolimba. Zinanditengera pafupi zaka zisanu ndi zitatu kuti ndifikire pamenepa pakuyesa ndi zolakwika zambiri, kuuma ndi misala (kuchita zomwezo mobwerezabwereza koma ndikuyembekeza zotsatira zosiyana). Chiyembekezo changa ndikuti mutha kuchira mwachangu kuposa momwe ndidakhalira ndikusintha moyo wanu tsopano.
Iyamba zinthu zoyamba, Ndinalandira thandizo lomwe ndimafuna. Ndinapezeka kuti ndili ndi matenda a ADHD komanso ndimakhumudwa ndili mwana, koma ndinasiya kumwa mankhwala ndili wachinyamata (kwenikweni potengeka ndi vuto langa). Ndakhala ndikuchita kwa akatswiri azachipatala pazaka zingapo zomwe zidandithandizira ndikuyamba kundiyambiranso njira yabwino, koma ndidakana kumwa mankhwala kwakanthawi kotalika chifukwa ndimaganiza kuti mwina zingandisinthe kapena kukhala wopanda munthu. Ndinali wolakwa. Pambuyo pake ndidayambanso kumwa mankhwala nditachokapo kwa pafupifupi zaka 15 ndipo zidapangitsa kuti pakhale kusiyana konse. Ndikupitilizabe chithandizo chomwe chakhala thandizo lalikulu.
Kuyankha mlandu: Simungathe kuchita izi nokha. Izi sizitanthauza kuti muyenera kujowina gulu lothandizira kapena china chake, koma muyenera kukhala ndi munthu m'modzi m'moyo wanu yemwe mungam'khulupirire komanso amene sangakuweruzeni chifukwa cha m'mbuyomu. Ndikupangira kuuza wachibale kapena mnzanga wapamtima komanso katswiri wazachipatala. Mutha kuwuzako ena anu omwe atha kukhala ambiri ndipo akhoza kukhala thandizo lalikulu, koma monga a Matt Dobschuetz (wopanga wa Porn Free Radio podcast) akuwalimbikitsa kuti asawapangireni zakukhosi, chifukwa zomwe zimachitika mukakangana ndi iwowo ndikufuna kutembenukira ku zolaula? Kodi mukulankhula ndi ndani pazokopa zanu?
Kusinkhasinkha: Kusinkhasinkha kumathandizira kuyeretsa chifunga ndikupereka malingaliro omveka bwino. Zimathandizanso kudzizindikira komwe kuli kofunikira kuti munthu abwezeretse. Sindingathe kuyipangira chokwanira. Yambani zazing'ono komanso zoyambira. Simuyenera kupita kuthengo kapena kukwera phiri. Ingokhalani mosangalatsa ndikuyang'ana pa mpweya wanu. Ngati malingaliro anu akusokonezani inu zomwe zili bwino. Pang'onopang'ono bweretsani kuyang'ana pa mpweya wanu. Yambani zazing'ono. Chitani mphindi za 2 tsiku lililonse mumange. Tsopano ndimasinkhasinkha pakati pa 30 ndi 40 mphindi tsiku ndikupanga kusiyana konse.
Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi: Chitani kena kake kuti musunthe. Zimathandizanso kukhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa, osanenapo kuti mudzimva bwino. Ndimachita zosewerera ndipo ndimayendetsa mphindi za 30 2-3 kamodzi pa sabata. Ndichoncho. Ndikufuna kudzanso masewera olimbitsa thupi posachedwa, koma pakadali pano ndikulimbitsa nyonga yanga (ndakhala ndikulimbana ndi carpal kuyambira zaka ndikugwiritsa ntchito molakwa izi chifukwa cha PMO). Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi!
Tsiku limodzi panthawi yolingalira: Izi zakhala zazikulu kwa ine. Poyamba ndimakhala ndikutanganidwa komanso kuda nkhawa ndi zam'tsogolo ndipo izi zinkandipangitsa kuti ndizikhala wokhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa. Kupatula posinkhasinkha komanso kudzizindikira ndakhala bwino pakukhala munthawi ino.
Lekani kuchita zangwiro: Kodi ndidatchulanso kuti ndili ndi OCD? Inde, chimenecho chinali chopinga chachikulu pakuthana ndi chizolowezi. Mpaka pano ndimasinthabe ndipo ndimakhala ndikulota. OCD ankapangitsa kuti ikhale yosamvetseka ndikuyesera kundinyenga kuti ndiganize kuti mwina ndiyambiranso. Mwamwayi mankhwala anga amathandizira ndi izi, koma siabwino (ndipo zili bwino!). Izi zinapitilira mu zochita zanga za tsiku ndi tsiku zomwe ndimalankhula zambiri pansipa.
Dziyang'anireni ndekha ndikhululuka: Ndinkakonda kumenya zoyipa ndekha chifukwa choyambiranso kapena kuchita zolakwa. Koma tsopano ndimadzikhululukira ndekha pazomwe ndidachita m'mbuyomu, zomwe ndimayang'ana. Ndimayamika chifukwa chazolowera izi chifukwa zidandipangitsa kuti ndikhale munthu wabwino pakupita kwa nthawi.
Kuleza mtima: Zimatenga nthawi kuti muchepe. Pali nthawi zina zomwe ndimaganiza zosiya kusinthanso chibwerere chifukwa sindinawone kusiyana kulikonse m'miyezi ingapo yoyambirira. Dzilolezereni nokha. Khalani ndi tsiku limodzi panthawi ndikuchita zodzisamalira. Zinkakhala ngati nyali yasinthidwa panthawi yomwe ndimva kusintha. Zikhala zovuta nthawi zina, koma mutha kuchita! Osataya mtima!
Miyezo: Makhalidwe ndi momwe mukufuna kukhalira moyo wanu komanso zomwe ndizofunika kwa inu. Ndinayamba ndi zitatu: kudzisamalira (kundisamalira), kuleza mtima komanso kudziletsa. Tsiku limodzi. Tsopano ndili ndi zina zambiri zomwe nditha kuzilingalira, koma ndikadayamba ndi zonsezo ndikadakhala wopsinjika.
Adachitapo kanthu ngakhale adachita mantha: Ndimamva ngati ndachita zambiri m'miyezi ingapo yapitayo kuposa momwe ndidachitirapo zaka khumi zapitazo (kuphatikizapo kumaliza maphunziro anu ku koleji ndikukhala kudziko lina). Ndikugwira ntchito yanthawi yonse, kukhala wotsimikizika kuti ndiziphunzitsa ndipo ndikukonzekera kuyambitsa bizinesi yakumbuyo kuti ndipange ndalama zowonjezera. Izi zikuchokera kwa munthu yemwe anali wokhumudwa komanso wosakonzekera ZAKA. Ndikukumbatira moyo molimba mtima ndipo inde ndimachita mantha nthawi zina, koma tsopano ndili ndi chidaliro chowonjezereka kutsatira zomwe ndikufuna. Ndimadzikakamiza ndekha kuchoka kumalo anga achitetezo kuti ndizicheza ndi anthu ambiri ngakhale masiku ena ndimangofuna kukhala kunyumba osachita chilichonse. Inde, kuzengereza kulipo, koma nditha kutha kuthana nazo mwanzeru.
Ndazindikira chifukwa chake ndinayang'ana zolaula: kuthawa ululu / kusapeza mtundu uliwonse. Ichi chinali chimodzi mwamavumbulutso akulu kwa ine omwe ndidawadziwa kwa zaka zambiri koma osalankhulidwapo poyera. NDINAKHALA ndikumva vuto lililonse. Ndimakumbukira kupindika phazi langa ndi dzanja ndikadali kusekondale komanso momwe ndingamverere zolaula. Ndimakumbukira nthawi zambiri ndikusowa tulo komanso kutopa (zomwe zimayambitsa zazikulu) ndikufuna kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Ndikukumbukira kuti ndimakhala wokanidwa ndikusintha zolaula. Sindithanso kupweteka komanso kusasangalala. Zimakhala zovuta nthawi zina, koma poyeseza komanso kupirira ndimakhala bwino. Chimodzi mwazomwe zimathandizira kudzizindikira ndi HALT (Hry / Angry / Lonely / Tired). Ndi chizindikiritso chabwino cha komwe mukumverera mu nthawi. Pakhalapo nthawi zina ndidatopa kapena / kapena ndimakhala ndi njala ndipo ndimakhala wofunitsitsa kuti ndione zolaula. Koma kenako ndinazindikira kuti ndinali wotopa komanso wanjala ndipo ndidachita zina zake. Nthawi zambiri kudya kumandipatsa mphamvu chifukwa zimasamalira onse awiri. Dzisamalire!
Asintha mtundu wazomwe ndadya (zosayambitsa): Ndinachotsa Netflix, ndinasiya kusewera masewera apakanema apa intaneti ndipo ndimachepetsa kuchuluka komwe ndimapeza pa laputopu yanga. Ndinasinthanso mtundu wa makanema komanso makanema omwe ndimawonera. Ngati ili ndi zolozera mmalo mwake nthawi zambiri ndimadumpha. Pali zinthu zambiri zabwino zomwe moyo wanga sizingathe ngati ndaphonya china chake. Inde, ndimathabe kuonera zanema ndikusewera magemu, koma ndili ndi kuyendetsa galimoto kwambiri komanso mphamvu kwambiri kotero kuti sindikufunanso kuchita izi. Ndakhala ndikuwerenga mabuku ambiri odzithandiza ndipo chaka chamawa ndikupanga kuwerenga zopeka zambiri. Ndiphatikiza mndandanda wamabuku omwe ndimalimbikitsa kumapeto.
Ndazindikira zofunikira zanga (kutsimikiza): Poyamba ndinali munthu “wabwino” ndipo ndimalolera kuchita chilichonse ngakhale sindikufuna. Ndikadali munthu wabwino, koma ndikulankhula bwino kapena kunena nthawi yomwe sindikufuna kuchita zinazake. Tsopano nditha kuyika patsogolo ndekha koma kukhalabe woganizira ena. Simuyenera kuchita phokoso, ndizofunikira kuchita pazomwe mukuwona ngati zabwino kwa inu polemekeza ena komanso osawalola kuti azingoyenda inu nonse.
Anapanga zisankho (osakhala angwiro) ndikukhala nawo limodzi: Chimodzi mwazinthu zobisika kwambiri pankhaniyi ndikuti chimasokoneza ubongo wanu ndi luso lanu la kulingalira. Ndidali wokayikira zaka ndipo izi zidapangitsa kuti ndizengeleza zonse zomwe ndimafuna kukwaniritsa. Tsopano ndikumangika kwambiri ndipo nditha kugwira ntchito tsiku lililonse. Ndikuyenda pang'onopang'ono kumoyo womwe ndikufuna kukhala nawo.
Pali chiyembekezo. Sanachedwe. Sindimakhalanso pa Reddit kwambiri, koma ndiyesetsa kupereka zochulukirapo. Ngati muli ndi mafunso chonde omasuka kufunsa. Sindikudziwa tsiku lomwe ndikhala (tsiku lokhalo lomwe lili lero) ndipo ndilibe chidwi chodziwa.
Zinthu zomwe ndimalimbikitsa:
Podcasts
Zolaula Zolaula za Porn
Kondani Anthu Amagwiritsa Ntchito Zinthu
Luso Lalunyumba
mabuku
Ubongo Wanu pa Zithunzi ndi Gary Wilson
Wopemphedwa ndi Erica Spiegelman
Ndikufuna Kusintha Moyo Wanga ndi Steven Melemis
Gawo Lalikulu la Jeff Olson
Maphunziro a Willpower a Kelly McGonigal
Msampha wa Chimwemwe wolemba a Harris Harris
Palibenso Mr. Nice Guy wolemba Robert Glover
Zithunzi ndi Mark Manson
Zilankhulo Zachikondi za 5 zolemba Gary Chapman
Nkhondo Ya Art ndi Steven Pressfield
Kugonana Kwatsopano Kwa Amuna ndi Bernie Zilbergeld (mosamala kumayambitsa)
Ndine zaka 29.
TLDR: Ndapeza thandizo lomwe ndinkafuna nditalephera kwa zaka 8 ndipo moyo wanga unasintha kwambiri. Zimatenga nthawi kuti muchepetse. Pali chiyembekezo.
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