Choyamba kuyamba ndi mwana wazaka 15 wochokera ku North England, moni kwa alendo ambiri koma iyi ndi nkhani yanga yopambana komanso momwe ndidakwanitsira kuthana ndi zolaula. (Pepani ngati yayitali). Ndiye ndiyambira kuti? Ndapeza zolaula ndili wamng'ono kwambiri pa YouTube ndipo mutha kuganiza kuti YouTube ilibe zolaula ndipo imandikhulupirira.
Ndinayamba kuyang'ana zinthu monga anthu akupsompsonana pang'onopang'ono ndipo pang'onopang'ono ndinatembenuka ndikukhala ovuta kwambiri komanso oledzera nthawi zonse ndikadakhala pa kompyuta.
Pamene ndinali wamng'ono za 7 kapena wamng'ono ndimakhala ndikuwonera makanemawa kuti ndipeze chisangalalo koma ndinali ndisanapezebe maliseche panobe. Chifukwa chake zaka zingapo akuchita izi kenako mwadzidzidzi atazindikira zolaula zazikulu. Zithunzi zolaula zomwe ndimakumbukira ndikuwona kanema woyamba pafupifupi 10 ndipo ndidalumikizidwa pomwepo koma sindinapezebe maliseche panobe.
Ndinapitiriza kuyang'ana zolaula nthawi zonse osasiya. Zinakhudza moyo wanga wamba zaka 10 chifukwa cha **** chifukwa. Zimangosonyeza kuti zingakhudze bwanji ndikukupha, koma ndikukumbukira potsiriza ndikuzipeza ndikuyamba kugwirizanitsa ziwiri ndi zolaula ndikukhalitsa.
Ndinayamba kuyang'anitsitsa maliseche mozungulira 3 mpaka 4 nthawi zonse tsiku ndi tsiku nthawi zina ndipo izi zidakulirakulira kukhala zinthu zowopsa kwambiri monga zinthu zanga zogonana (zomwe ndidapanga HOCD): zigawenga ndi zonse zomwe zidasokoneza zinthu. Zithunzi zolaula zimayambitsa, zimasokoneza zinthu, koma sanazikonde. Kungoyang'ana ndikuwona momwe zinalili koma zonse zotsatira za zolaula.
Zinaipiraipira pamene ndinazindikira kuti ndikusangalala ndikupita kuchipinda changa ndikuonera zolaula. Zonsezi zidapitilira mpaka Pasaka 2017 - zonse zidandigunda mwadzidzidzi ndinamva kulakwa, manyazi, kukhumudwa kwambiri, ulesi, malingaliro ofuna kudzipha. Ndimakumbukira masiku ena mozungulira Pasitala zomwe ndimangoganiza masiku onse anali njira zothetsera moyo wanga. Ndinali wokhumudwa kwambiri komanso wosasangalala. Ndinatayika, sindimadziwa zomwe zimandichitikira, ndinamva ngati kuti sindimadziwa kuti ndine ndani.
Ndikufuna kupeza yankho lomwe ndidasanthula pa intaneti masiku angapo kuti ndipeze zomwe zinali ndi ine ndipo ndikukumbukira ndikupeza NoFap ndipo zonse zinali zomveka tbh. Ndipo zikuyenera kuyamba kunyoza pano koma ndidakumana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanga ndili paulendo wanga, ndipo nditha kunena kuti adandithandizira. Anandidutsa zonsezi. Sindikudziwa zomwe ndikadachita popanda iye.
Monga momwe timatulukira pafupifupi miyezi 3 kapena 4 ndipo ndidabwera ndikumuwuza zonse, ndipo moona mtima kuchuluka kwa atsikana omwe angangotsala osandithandiza ali ngati msungwana aliyense. Ayi, msungwana wanga adakhala ndikundithandiza kupyola pachifukwa chake adzakhala ndi ine moyo wanga wonse.
Ndinali komweko ndipo ndinali nditabwereranso kangapo kotero kuti ndi kosawerengeka ngati kuti ndinangodziuza tsiku lina kuti ndine amene ndikulamulira, ndipo sindinayang'ane. Zachidziwikire kuti bwenzi langa linandithandizira kuti ndipeze kukankhira komaliza ndipo zidagwira. Ndinayamba kuchita masiku 10 kenako 20, 30, 40 - panthawi yomwe mumadziwa ndimagunda masiku 90 ndipo ndimamva ngati munthu watsopano.
Ndimamva kwathunthu kuyambiranso. Msungwana wanga adandifunsa nthawi zonse kuti ndimakhala tsiku liti ndipo ndikukumbukira ndikumuuza kuti ndimagunda masiku 90 - tonse tinali titapitirira mwezi. Ndinazipanga ndipo nthawi zonse ankandinyamula ndipo tsopano ndili patsiku la 159 ndikudzuka komanso tsiku lililonse. Ndimayang'ana m'mbuyo ndikumva zodabwitsa kuti ndatha kuthana nazo ndipo sindinachite popanda mwana wanga wamkazi. Ndikungofuna kutumiza izi ndikulola wina kuti awerenge izi ndikuganiza kuti akhoza kuzichita.
Koma ndikukuthokozani chifukwa chowerenga ndikuyembekeza kuti mudakondwera ndikukupatsani zifukwa zina
LINK - Nkhani yanga 15yr Mnyamata wakale anachira ku zolaula
by Matty007
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