Ndidapanga masiku a 172! Moona mtima ndiyenera kuvomereza kuti ndakhala ndikusakatula, ndikutsika zaka. Chifukwa chofuna kudziwa zambiri, ndipo ndinangolimbitsa mtima kulowa nawo, ndikuyankha. Ndiyenera kunena kuti ndine wonyadira kukhala m'gulu lokonzanso zinthu.
Mapindu ake ndi ochulukirapo kuti atchulidwe. Kuda nkhawa kwa anthu kukutha. Momwe ndimatha kuyanjana mosavuta. Ndili ndi nthawi yambiri yochitira zinthu zomwe ndikufuna kuchita. Ndangoyamba kuphunzira piyano dzulo. Popeza ndakhala ndikuimba gitala mozama kwa zaka; on, and off as a studio studio. Kapena kungolipirira paliponse ndi anthu wamba. Chifukwa chake zimapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kukhala pansi, ndikusintha; ndi maukonde. Ngakhale nthawi zina nkhawa imandigwera mwachisawawa, ndipo zovuta zomwe ndimakhala nazo pagulu zimayesera kuti zindidya. Ndikuwona kuti ndikuchira.
Zipsinjo zomwe ndinali nazo; ikuyamba kulowa mkati, ndi kutuluka. Popeza ndikadali ndi ziwonetsero zakunyumba, koma ndikutheka kwakanthawi; sizichitika usiku wonse. Popeza ndakhala ndikuwonera kuchuluka kwa porngraphy kuyambira zaka za 11. Ndimakhalanso ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza ndi banja, komanso anzanga ngati ndikufuna. Kukhala ndi chibwenzi kumawoneka ngati mwayi. Sindikunena izi monga momwe ndimakhalira ndi akazi. Porngraphy adawononga ubale wanga kapena mwayi wokhala ndi chibwenzi.
Sindinanong'oneze bondo m'derali. Popeza ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito gawo langa labwino kwambiri kumanga talente, komanso luso. M'malo mowathamangitsa akazi osagwiritsa ntchito bongo. Komabe ndikusangalatsa kudziwa kuti kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndikotheka; koma sichofunikira kwa ine. Momwe ndimaonera moyo ndikusintha kwambiri. Magawo a kukhumudwa akutsikira; mkwiyo wanga ukutsikira.
Malingaliro osokoneza ayamba kuchepera. Ine ndimakhoza kumapitirira, mopitirirabe; koma zingakhale zambiri zochulidwa. Moyo wayamba kumamvanso moyo. M'malo mokokomeza pang'onopang'ono kothamangira kuimfa. Ndikusangalatsidwa ndi zinthu wamba; zomwe ndimakonda kudana nazo. Monga kudzuka m'mawa kuphika chakudya cham'mawa kapena kudya. Ndimatha kukhala pansi, ndikuonera kanema wathunthu popanda kusokonezedwa mosavuta.
Tiyeni tinene kuti chizindikiritso chanu chikuwululidwa munthawi yonseyi; Njira yoyambiranso. Cholinga cha moyo wanu chikuyamba kubwerera. Zophimba zomwe zidakutidwa ndimaso anu zikutuluka; ndipo wayamba kuwona moyo momwe ulili. Si za komwe mukupita; ili pafupi ndi kutsogolo kwanu. Inde pamakhala zolimba, ndipo zimatsika mkati mwa njira yonse yochira, koma nthawi yayitali mukamayandikira imakhala yosavuta. Zomwe zinali zopanda pake, komanso zodzala ndimdima; tsopano ikusintha kupita ku kuunika, ndi chiyembekezo. Anthu ambiri amafunafuna kukhutitsidwa pompopompo, koma pali zosangalatsa zambiri pakupera, ndi kufuna.
Kodi mfundo yoti mungofika kumeneko ndi yotani? Zikuwoneka kuti aliyense akuthamangitsa imfa m'malo m moyo. Tsopano talunjika ku njira yoona ya moyo; osati zopanda pake.
Ndinalibe zizindikilo zambiri, koma ndidazindikira kuti nthawi zonse ndimakhala wokhumudwa ndikamaliza. Kumva kwachisoni kumeneku kumayamba kwanthawi yayitali komanso kwakanthawi mpaka zimanditengera masiku angapo kuti ndibwerere mwakale. Kenako ndinawona kanema "Kuyesera Zolaula" kuchokera Ubongo Wanu pa Zithunzi Mnyamata. Imeneyo inali mphindi yaying'ono kwambiri!
Ndinkakumbukira nthawi zomwe ndinkachita NoFap mwachibadwa, ndipo nthawi zonse ndinkakhala bwino. Nthawi zonse ndimasiya ngakhale ndikafika pa Flatline, popeza sindimadziwa kuti ndi chiyani, ndipo ndimasokonekera.
Tsopano, mothandizidwa ndi gulu la NoFap, ndadutsa m'malo otsetsereka. Amakhala oyipa nthawi zina, koma maubwino ake amaposa mtengo.
Ndimamva bwino kwambiri komanso ndamasuka IRL. Kusangalala ndi kukhala ndi anthu kwakhala bwino. Komanso, ndamva wosangalala. Sindinadziwe kuti sindinali wokondwa monga momwe ndikanakhalira. Ndimaganiza kuti zinali zabwinobwino. Osatinso pano. Izi ndiye zatsopano.
Sindikunena kuti ndizosavuta. Muyenera kukwera mafunde, ndikupita
kupyola m'matumba kuti mumve kukwera. Kutalika kwa nthawi yayitali kumachitika,
zochepa ndi zotsika ndizochepa. Ndilemba zambiri ndikamenya 90.
Tsiku lililonse ndimadzuka kupita kuma webusayiti ochezera. Ndikuwona chidwi chachikulu chomwe porngraphy imakhala nacho chogwira ntchito! Ndizoseketsa momwe anyamata ambiri ali akapolo a zikhumbo zawo; ndipo sinditha kudziwa izi! Ine ndinali pa WSHH miniti yokha yapitayo, ndipo iwo anali ndi kanema komwe mwana wanga anali; akuwonetsa masaya ake. Zachidziwikire kuti sindinadule kanemayo, koma ndinasanthula gawo la ndemanga, ndipo ndawona anyamata ambiri. Kuyankhula za momwe bulu wake anali wolimbira. Ndikulankhulanso za momwe "adakhomerera nati".
Nthawi zonse ndakhala ndikudziwa kufunikira kwa kudziletsa, komanso kudzipereka. Momwe ndakhala ndikuzigwiritsira ntchito mbali zina m'moyo wanga, koma sindimadziwa kufunikira kwa chizolowezi chogonana! Ndili ndi chipiriro kwambiri; monga ndangofika masiku a 172.
Ndimatha kuwona kupita patsogolo, ndikusintha kumaikidwa mu ubongo wanga. Kapena malingaliro anga pa moyo, ndipo azimayi akusintha. Ndibwino kupita pagulu, osayang'ana pagulu la amayi.
Achinyamata ambiri amadzikakamiza kuti agone. Pomwe amazigwiritsa ntchito ngati mtundu wa "kudzitsimikizira" pawokha. Amaganiza kuti ndiwachabechabe ngati sangachite zogonana ndi mkazi. Chifukwa chake amawathamangitsa. Nthawi yowononga, osapita kulikonse. M'malo mopanga maluso ofunikira; monga talente kapena kuchuluka kwazidziwitso kapena nzeru.
Ndikufuna aliyense pano adziwe. Kuti ali panjira yotsogola; pokhazikitsa, ndikuchita zoyeserera pakugonana. Kukhala ndi chipiriro, ndipo chilango ndi chinthu chosangalatsa kukhala nacho. Monga momwe imaperekera chiyamiko, ndi zonyansa zochuluka za deph, ndi kumvetsetsa. Kuyamikira kwachilengedwe kwa moyo; ndikumvetsetsa kuti unyinji wa moyo umakumana ndi zochitika zamkati. Osati malekezero akunja. Monga ndalama kapena zolimbitsa thupi.
Ndikumva ngati ndikubwerera m'mbuyo; za momwe ine ndinali mwana. Zachidziwikire kuti sindinachiritsidwe kwathunthu. Pomwe ntchito yobwezeretsayi ikuyenera kutenga zaka. Ndikudziwa kuchokera pazomwe ndinakumana nazo kale. Popeza ndakhala ndikumenya nkhondo zanga ndi zizolowezi zina m'mbuyomu. Wina wokhala kanema wa masewera a kanema pomwe ndinali mwana. Wina kukhala chizolowezi chomenya chomwe ndidamenya zaka za 3 zapitazo.
Tilidi pa njira yopita ku ufulu. Ndikufuna kuti mudziwe kuti anthu ambiri adzaganiza kuti ndizosadabwitsa kuti mukupanga mchitidwe wogonana m'moyo wanu. Makamaka ngati ndinu achichepere. Popeza ndili ndi zaka 22, ndipo pali anyamata ambiri; zomwe ndizowoneka bwino kwambiri. Pomwe amalola thupi kuwalamulira, ndikuwalamulira. Pokhala ndife akapolo, koma tili ku zinthu zabwinoko.
Sungani anthu achikhulupiriro! Khazikani mtima pansi! Khalani olimba mtima, ndipo khalani olimba! Palibe anthu ambiri omwe amakhala odziletsa kapena odziletsa. Koma omwe akupita kukachita zinthu zazikulu. Popeza sakhala otanganidwa kwambiri ndi zododometsa, kapena zinthu zazing'ono. Apa kumenya thupi! Apa ndiye kuti malingaliro athu agonjere ku zochita zathu! Apa pali kutukuka, ndi chisomo!
Tiyeni tikambirane za mphindi yapano, ndikusangalala ndi mapindu ake! Osangonena, koma gwiritsani ntchito zomwe mwaphunzira pano kuzisunga mu moyo wanu. Ndikudziwa anyamata ambiri pano amangolankhula zongoyeserera; koma dziperekeni kwa icho, ndipo chitani icho!
Ndikwabwino kuvutika pano; kuposa kusiya izi; pambuyo pake m'moyo wanu. Ndikukuyamikirani ngati mukukonzekera izi. Mtendere, ndi madalitso zikhale nawe!
LINK - Ndapanga masiku a 172!
PEZANI
Yesu Kristu sindingakhulupirire zoyipa izi. Ndakhala ndikupita izi kwa miyezi yapitayi ya 6, ndipo nthawi yowonjezera ndimatha kumva kusintha. Simukusintha kukhala munthu watsopano. Mukubwerera zakale inu, koma koposa! Monga anthu tidapangidwadi kukhala angwiro, komanso angwiro. Komabe kuchita izi kungapangitse kukhala woyengeka kwambiri ndikukhalanso ndi mphamvu zambiri, ndikuyendetsa! Uyu ndiye wamkulu kwambiri yemwe ndimamverera kuti ali ndi moyo.
Mavuto onse anali oyenera! Moyo wanga umakhala ndi zochita zambiri, komanso zochuluka. Sindibwerera ku PMO. Si moyo imfa. Pali ulemu pakati pa abale ovutika. Chifukwa chake pitirirani, pitani patsogolo!
Sindikufuna kugonana. Tonsefe timachiritsa mosiyanasiyana, koma muyenera kuvomereza kuti zimatenga kanthawi kuti ubongo wanu umadzikonzanso pawokha kuchokera ku zisangalalo zochuluka. Zithunzi zolaula izi.
LINK - Mapindu ake ndi oyipa!
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