M'masiku anga a 90 opanda PMO sindinabwere kudzamvetsetsa zabwino zonse za izi, koma mwina ndichifukwa sindinapezenso bwino miyezi itatu yapitayo, kapena mwina pali china. Ndimakhumudwitsidwabe ndiubwenziwu, ndinkamukonda kwambiri mtsikanayo ndipo ndinalidi wotsimikiza panthawiyo, kuti anali wanga ndipo tidzatha kumanga banja limodzi.
China chake mkati mwanga chimandiuza kuti mwanjira ina mwina akadali… Ndiye tsiku lina akuti, amandikondabe kwambiri, koma osati mwachikondi, kuti mwina sindine zomwe akufuna pakadali pano ndikuti ayenera kusiyana njira. Izi zidandidabwitsa, chifukwa tidakhala limodzi pafupifupi zaka 4 ndipo nthawi zonse timakhala ndiubwenzi wosavutawu, nthawi zonse timakhala owona mtima wina ndi mnzake, timasamalirana kwambiri ndipo timakonda kwambiri moyo. Komabe, ndikadakhala kuti ndimadwala omwewo miyezi itatu yapitayo? Bwenzi ndikadalankhula ndekha zomwe adandiuza. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa sindinali ndekha.
Nthawi zonse ndinali wokonda kukhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa, komanso kusadzidalira komanso kulimba mtima m'moyo. Makamaka chifukwa choti sindimadziwa zomwe ndikufuna pamoyo wanga. Ndipo adanditaya chifukwa cha ichi. Iye ndi ine tinakumana mchaka changa choyamba ku koleji, munthawi yomwe ndimayamba moyo watsopano ndipo ndinali wokhutira nazo, ndipo nditakumana naye ndipo tidayamba chibwenzi, inali nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga kuti ndimve wokondwa kwambiri. Ndipo izi zidabweretsa zabwino mwa ine zomwe zidamupangitsa kuti andigwere. Koma popita nthawi kukayika kudayambiranso m'malingaliro mwanga, ndipo ndidayamba kugwa m'malingaliro anga akale. Ndipo nthawi zonse panali china chake pamenepo chomwe ndimabwereza kawiri kawiri, Zolaula. Ndinayamba kuonera zolaula nthawi zonse ndili ndi zaka 15 (ndili ndi 25 tsopano), nthawi zina kawiri patsiku ndipo panali masiku anali oposa amenewo.
Ngakhale sindinganene motsimikiza kuti ndinali wokonda zolaula, pakadali pano sindinganene kuti sindinali, ndipo sizinakhudze moyo wanga mzaka izi. Ndimakumbukira nthawi zomwe ndimaphunzira ngati ola limodzi, kenako ndimayimilira kwa PMO ndipo sindimatha kuphunziranso pambuyo pake, ndimakhala wokhumudwa komanso wofatsa, ndipo zimachitika pafupipafupi! Nthawi zina ndimakumbukira masiku ndikadakhala PMO ndisanakhale ndi bwenzi langa, ndipo kenako ndikafuna kugwedeza ubongo wanga, sindinamvepo, kapena ngati ndingathe kuchita zimawoneka ngati ndataya chidwi changa (ngakhale zinali choncho, panali nthawi zina pamene tinkakhala limodzi kuti ndimatha sabata ndisanathe, koma nthawi zonse ndimabwerera ku zolaula). Izi ndikukhulupirira zakhudza moyo wathu wogonana. Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe adadandauliranso pamapeto pake, chinali kusowa kwa chidwi m'moyo wathu wachikondi.
Chifukwa chake, pamapeto pake, ndikaganizira, mwina kutha kumeneku kunali kungodzutsa kumene ndimafunikira. Zinandipangitsa kulingalira za moyo wanga komanso za ine ndekha. Mwinamwake ndine woledzera wa dopamine kuti ndithawe moyo wanga. Patatha masiku atatu tithe, ndinayamba Nofap. Ndinabwereranso tsiku langa lakhumi. Kunali kulephera kwanga koyamba. Ndidakhala wokhumudwa pambuyo pake, koma zidandipangitsa kudzipereka kuti sindidzafunanso kudzimva choncho ndikufuna kusintha moyo wanga wonse. Chifukwa chake mwina simungakhulupirire, koma masiku a 90 awa adakwaniritsidwa munthawi yanga yachiwiri yokha, ndipo adanditsogolera munjira yauzimu yomwe ndimawona kuti ikundisintha ndikundipanga kukhala munthu wosangalala.
Zomwe ndimamva kuti zasintha mwa ine m'masiku 90 awa: - Ndayamba kudzidalira ndikudzidera nkhawa zomwe ena amaganiza za ine. - Sindimva nkhawa ndikamayankhula ndi anthu, makamaka azimayi. - Ndimadzimva kuti ndikufuna kuchita zinthu zomwe ndimafuna kuchita, koma sindingathe kuzichita pazifukwa zopusa. - Chiyembekezo changa - Ngakhale ndili ndi mantha ambiri, tsopano m'malo mongothamanga, ndimangoyang'anizana nawo. - Nditha kuyang'anitsitsa maso ndi maso.
Zomwe ndidachita: - Palibe PMO - Ndinayamba kuwerenga filosofi ya Buddhist ndi Stoic (komanso nzeru zambiri). - Anayamba Kusinkhasinkha kwambiri pafupipafupi. - Kuyika ndalama pakukweza gitala yanga. - Kuthera nthawi yambiri ndi anzanu. - Kuwona zolemba zolembedwa za Joseph Campbells 'The Power of Myth "zidandithandizanso. - Kuyang'ana kumaliza MA yanga mu Archaeology.
Ndazindikiranso, kuti sitikusowa wina aliyense kuti atipangitse kudziona kuti ndife apadera, tiyenera kudziwona tokha. Tikakhala okondwa tidzakopa anthu apadera m'miyoyo yathu, anthu ambiri adzafuna kukhala nanu ngati mukusangalala, chifukwa mumapereka chisangalalo ichi m'miyoyo ya anthu ena. Ndiyenera kuvomereza kuti makamaka ndinayambitsa nofap ya akazi. Ndipo nchifukwa ninji zinali choncho? Chifukwa ndidangotayidwa ndipo ndimafuna kutsimikizika. Ndinkafuna kutsimikizika osayang'ana mkati ndikuyesera kuti ndisinthe. Izi zingangopanga bwalo loipa. Koma pakadali pano ndazindikira kuti ichi sichiyenera kukhala choyambirira, choyambirira chikuyenera kukhala kusintha ndekha. Akazi akamabwera ngati chikole chabwino, koma cholinga chanu chachikulu chizikhala inu ndi moyo wanu.
Ndipo kuti muchite izi, zomwe ndimaganizira kwambiri, ndikuti musataye mtima. Ngakhale simukudziwa zomwe mumachita pamoyo wanu, zili zofunika kuti musasiye kusuntha, kuyesa zinthu zatsopano, kukhala ndi zokumana nazo zatsopano, kupeza zokonda zatsopano, osasiya kudzikonza kuti mukhale munthu wabwinopo wopanda zomangira zilizonse zomwe zikukugwirani , osataya ankhandwe anu, khalani okoma kwa anthu.
Ndinalemba kale kuti "Mphamvu Yopeka" ya Joseph Campbell yandithandiza kwambiri, ndipo chifukwa chake, ndikuti ali ndi chiphunzitso chotchedwa "ulendo wa ngwazi" kapena "monomyth". Anazindikira kuti padziko lonse lapansi zitukuko zonse zinali ndi zikhulupiriro zonena za msirikali wachichepere yemwe amayenera kuchita zodabwitsazi. Munthawi imeneyi amayenera kudutsa m'mayesero ndi masautso ambiri, koma pamapeto pake amakwanitsa kupambana, ndikubwerera kunyumba akusinthidwa. Kwa iye uku kunali "kukometsa" kwa zomwe ife monga anthu tiyenera kupita kukadya m'miyoyo yathu. Izi zidandipangitsa kuzindikira, monga Campbell adanenera, kuti tonse ndife ngwazi yachinyamata iyi, tonse tili mu "Ulendo Wathu Wa Hero", munjira ina iliyonse, ndipo cholinga chaulendo wa ngwazi ndikupha zimbalangondo zathu (Mantha, kukhumudwa , nkhawa, zilizonse zomwe zingakulepheretseni) ndikukhala weniweni pakuchita izi. Tonsefe tili ndi kuthekera kwakukulu mkati mwathu komwe kuyenera kumasulidwa, tifunika kupha anyani athu.
Ndidawerenga malipoti ambiri kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba nofap ndipo onse adandithandiza kwambiri kuti ndisataye mtima, kuti tsopano ndikumva ngati ndiyenera kutumiza yanga pano kuti ndibweretse kumudzi uno. Ndikufuna kuyamba ndi chikumbutso ngakhale, kuti Nofap Superpowers si zenizeni. Ndipo sizowona chifukwa sizopambana. Ndiinu enieni.
Tsatirani anthu anu achisangalalo a Nofap!
LINK - Ripoti Langa la Masiku 90 (Mphamvu Zoposa zenizeni si zenizeni).
By alireza
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