Ngati wina akanandiuza nthawi ina pakale, pomwe sindimadziwa kuopsa kwa zolaula, kuti zitha kuyambitsa mavuto azakugonana ndikudzilekanitsa ndi ena, ndikadaganiza kuti zinali zatsopano za evangeli kapena chinthu. Ndikadaganiza kuti anali okongola pakugonana komanso osasangalatsa, osatengera njira zatsopano momwe anthu amafotokozera za kugonana kwawo.
Ndidakhala kuti ndazindikira kuti kukhala wokonda kwambiri zolaula, ndipo ndidavutika chifukwa cha zomwe zimaphatikizidwa. Ndine wazaka za 30 ndipo ndakhala munthu wokonda kwambiri kuyambira zaka XXUMX. Ndinakulira m’banja momwe chilichonse chokhudzana ndi kugonana sichinakambitsiridwe, ndipo momwe ndimadziwikirirana ndi kugonana ndimadutsa anzanga.
Ndidasokerera nditaonera zolaula zanga zoyamba. Ndakhalapo ndi abwenzi omwe angakhale ndi abale ndi abambo achikulire omwe ali ndi mapiri amitundu yosiyanasiyana yosangalatsa ya zolaula, okwanira kuti avotere ubongo wanu kwa moyo wonse, ndipo ndizomwe ndidachita kwa zaka zotsatirazi za 16.
Nthawi yonseyi, sindinachite zogonana zambiri. Sindinkavutika ndi vuto logonana panthawi yomwe ndimakumana koyamba koyamba chibwenzi, ngakhale bwenzi langa limakhala lachisoni ndikudandaula kuti kugonana kwathu kumamveka ngati "kovuta" kuposa kulumikizana. Pansi pamtima, ndimadziwa kuti akunena zoona, ndimaganiza kuti kupanga chikondi kumakhala kovuta ngati zolaula, zinali zosangalatsa nthawi zina, koma kulumikizana kwamtima chifukwa chopanga sichinali chinthu chomwe ndimachidziwitsa kapena kuphunzitsira bwino, komanso kuphatikiza zithunzi zamphamvu. Ndimaganiza kuti kugonana kwakukulu ndikusavuta kwa gonana.
Ubwenziwo unatenga nthawi yayitali osanathe. Zinandipweteka komanso kusungulumwa zitatha. Ndinali munthu wokonda zamkati kale, ndipo ndinali kuonera zolaula pafupifupi tsiku lililonse. Ubwenziwo utatha, ndidatha kuthana ndi mavuto komanso kusakhazikika kwanga ndikugwiritsa ntchito molakwika zolaula, ndikukulitsa chizolowezi changa ndikufika pamlingo wina. Sichingakhale chachilendo kwa ine kuti ndiziwonerera ndikuseweretsa maliseche mpaka nthawi ya 8 patsiku.
Ndawonera zolaula zamitundu mitundu, ndipo chinali chinthu chomwe chimandikweza kwambiri. Ndinali wopanda nzeru, ndinanyadira kuti nditha kudziseweretsa maliseche mobwerezabwereza tsiku limodzi, ndimaganiza kuti zingasinthe kukhala mulungu wakugonana ndi mkazi wotsatira yemwe ndimagona naye. Sindinadziwe kuti izi zinali kutali ndi chowonadi. kwenikweni, zinali zosiyana.
Sindinakwatiwe kwa zaka 3 pambuyo pa chibwenzi cha 5. Nditha kudzipereka pachiwonetsero chilichonse chazithunzi zowoneka ngati zolaula zowonera kangapo patsiku pazaka zitatu izi. Kuyandikira 30, ndinali pamlingo m'moyo wanga pomwe anzanga onse omwe akhala nawo kwa nthawi yayitali anali atakhazikika mu ntchito zawo, kukwatiwa, ndikupita patsogolo. Ndidapezeka ndekha, wopanda gulu la abwenzi komanso wopanda bwenzi loti andilimbikitse. Ndinali ndekha ndikutonthozedwa ndi chophimba chodzaza ndi zolaula zotsekemera kuti zimveke bwino. Zolaula sizimakupatsani chilichonse koma chotsika mtengo basi, ululuwo sunathe.
Patapita nthawi, zimachitika kapena kufa, chifukwa chake ndidayamba kusintha moyo wanga. Ndinayamba kudziyika ndekha kunja uko, ndikudziwonetsa ndekha chikondi china, ndipo pamapeto pake, nditakhala wosasangalala komanso wosaleka kugwira ntchito, ndinakhala wokhoza kulumikizana ndi anthu, mitundu yonse ya anthu. Pambuyo pake ndinakhala wokhoza kulumikizana ndi akazi. Ndinakumana ndi mkazi wokongola uyu, adandilimbikitsa m'njira zambiri, ndipo adandikondanso! Ndidamupeza kuti ndi wokonda komanso woganiza bwino. Ndimamufuna munjira iliyonse, ndipo ndinali wokondwa kwambiri kuti amandifunanso! Moyo unali wabwino zedi !! Tidali pabedi lake ndipo ndinali wokonzeka kukhala ndiubwenzi wabwino ndi mkazi wokondedwayu pamtundu wapamtima chotere! Ndidadikirira nthawi yayitali ndikuyika ntchito yochulukirapo kuti ndikhale paubwenzi ndi munthu wina kwambiri. Itakwana nthawi… pamene ndimagona pabedi la mkazi wokongola uyu ndi thupi lake pamwamba panga… sindinathe kuchita kalikonse za izi… Dick wanga anali atamwalira, ndipo mzimu wanga unali kufa limodzi nawo.
Anali wokoma mtima kwambiri pankhaniyi ndipo amandithandiza kwambiri, ndimaganiza kuti ndingokhala ndi mitsempha. Kwakhala kwakanthawi, ndipo ndimafunitsitsa kuti ndikhale ndi chithunzi chabwino, ndidachichotsa, mpaka… zidachitikanso nthawi yotsatira, komanso pambuyo pake… komanso pambuyo pake…. Kenako ndinazindikira kuti ndikhoza kukhala ndi vuto lalikulu. Anakhumudwa, ndipo zinafika pamutu panga. Pambuyo pake adati tiyenera kutenga zogonana, ndikukhala abwenzi. Ndinachita manyazi kwambiri, ndipo ndinkamva ngati ndikhumudwitsa mayiyu. Ndimamva ngati ndikudzimvera chisoni.
Ndinkatsimikiza mtima kuti ndidziwe zomwe zikundivuta. Ndinapita kwa a urologist, kukayezetsa, anati zonse zinali bwino ndipo miyezo yanga ya testosterone inali yapamwamba koposa. Ndimamva kusweka ndi kusokonezeka, ndimafunitsitsadi kugonana komanso kugonana, ndipo ndinkaona ngati sindingakhale nayo. Ndidayamba kufunsa zokhudzana ndi kugonana kwanga, "kodi sindine wachibadwa? Ndimakopeka ndi akazi, bwanji sindingathe kuyimitsa? Chifukwa chiyani ndikuvutika ndi izi pomwe zikuwoneka zachilengedwe kwa wina aliyense? Chifukwa chiyani ndikudutsa izi? ”Ndidasokonezeka kwambiri, ndikuopa kugonana.
Ndinayang'ana mayankho ndipo ndinapeza madera ngati amenewa akukambirana zoopsa za zolaula. Ndinaphunzira za PIED, ndipo zonse zinayamba kukhala zomveka. Izi ziyenera kukhala chifukwa, palibenso china. Pofufuza zotsatira zoyipa za zolaula, ndidaphunzira kuti sizingovulaza ogula, koma anthu omwe amatenga nawo gawo popanga zinthu nthawi zambiri amakhala akuchitiridwa nkhanza komanso kugwiriridwa. Sindinkafunanso kuti imeneyi ikhale gawo langa logonana.
Sindinkafuna kuchita ndi zolaula ... zomwe sizinandilepheretse kuzigwiritsa ntchito ... Ndabwereranso nthawi zambiri, podziwa zomwe ndikuwonera zikundipweteka komanso kuvulaza anthu, sindinathe kuyimilira. Sindinataye mtima, ndikayambiranso, ndimaganizira chifukwa chake izi zidachitika, momwe ndimamvera nditaganiza zogwiritsa ntchito, komanso ndikadatani kuti ndipewe ina.
Chilichonse ndichizolowezi, kuphatikiza kusiya china chake.
Pambuyo pake ndinapita miyezi yabwino ya 3 popanda kuwonera zolaula, ndikumenya maliseche mosasamala, ndikuwerengera. Ndinakumana ndi mayiyu sabata yatha, ndipo tinakopeka kwambiri. Amakhala kunyumba kwanga, ndimadziwongola ndimpsompsone, ndipo ndidamva china chake chikuchitika chomwe sindimaganiziranso kuti ndidzamvanso. Bonasi woyamwa. Ndidali wofukiza ndikuthokoza chifukwa ndimafuna kulira. Sindinkaganiza kuti ndidzakumana ndi amodzi omwe ali ndi mkazi weniweni. Osati zokhazo, koma pamapeto pake ndinayenera kukhala ndi kugonana kosangalatsa komwe sindinapanikizike podzuka mutulo. Ndimamva bwino kwambiri ndekha!
Ndachokera kutali. Ndidaphunziranso kuti ndimavutikanso ndi kuchepa kwa thupi, mwina pochita maliseche kwambiri mwakuti ndimazolowera dzanja langa, ndasanthula izi ndikumvekanso bwino. Ndikuyembekeza kukula kwanga ndikuchira ku zolaula. Ndimatha kuwona ndikumva kuwala.
Tikufunika maphunziro azakugonana mdziko muno. Palibe amene amakuchenjezani za izi. Izi ndi zenizeni. Zolaula ndizowopsa kwa thanzi lanu lamaganizidwe ndi zakugonana. Sindingathe kutsindika izi. Ndakhala moyo wanga, ndipo sindikhalanso ndi moyo
LINK - Ndidachita ... PIED, ndikuchira zolaula !! Pali kuwala kumapeto! Khalani amphamvu!
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