Kulimbana kwenikweni mutabwereranso sikukufunanso kalikonse. Ndili mu zaka makumi atatu tsopano. Ndimawona anzanga akukwatiwa. Anthu amati ali ofunitsitsa kufera akazi awo ndi ana awo. Ndikumvetsetsa zomwe akunena, koma sindingathe kuwamvera chisoni chifukwa sindimamva chilichonse. Ndimawona mnzanga akumaliza kukhala dokotala patatha zaka zambiri akuvutikira kulipira sukulu.
Atakanidwa kusukulu iliyonse ya med ku US, adasiya ntchito ndikuphunzira MCAT kwa zaka 2 osalandira malipiro kunyumba kwa makolo ake akudya nyemba ndi mpunga tsiku ndi tsiku. Pambuyo pake adalowa sukulu yakum'mawa zaka 4 zapitazo ali ndi zaka 28. Apa ndipamene ndidabwereranso. Sindingakuuzeni chifukwa chake chifukwa sindikukumbukira ndipo mwina sindingatero chifukwa chakuchulukana kwa chifunga chaubongo. Ngakhale ndikukumbukira ndikuganiza kuti mnzanga anali wopusa. Anasiya ntchito yolipira bwino kuti akaphunzire mayeso omwe adaphulitsa kale. Ali ndi zaka 28, ndimaganiza kuti anali wokalamba kwambiri kuti apite kusukulu ndi azaka 22. Ndimaganiza kuti ndili bwino kwambiri kuposa iye kukhala ndi ntchito yanga yayikulu yomwe imalipira bwino. Koma zowonadi, ndimadana ndi momwe ankagwirira ntchito chifukwa pansi pamtima sindinathe kudzipangitsa kufuna china chilichonse monga iye.
Pakadali pano, ndikuwona kumwetulira kwake kuli pulayimale pa Facebook ndikunena zinthu wamba komanso zazing'ono zakusangalala komanso kuthokoza kwake atavala chovala cha dokotala wake. Sindinamwetulirepo motere kwanthawi yayitali.
Ntchito inandipatsa tchuthi cha milungu ingapo. Ndikuganiza kuti sakundifunanso ndipo ali mfuti andiwombera posachedwa ndichifukwa chake andipatsa nthawi yayitali. Komabe, ndimapita kutchuthi kukacheza ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima ku koleji ku Northern California. Ndimakhala naye masiku angapo ndikugona pakama pake. Kodi mukufuna kudziwa momwe moyo wake ulili? Ndi wonenepa tsopano. Amamva fungo. Ali ndi bowa kumapazi ake ndipo amagwira ntchito ngati mlembi komanso wothandizira kwa loya wina wamba.
Mnzanga wapamtima waku koleji anali munthu wowoneka bwino kwambiri. Ndimakumbukira momwe adadzuka koyambirira kuposa wina aliyense ndipo sanafunikire wotchi yolira. Atsikana ankamuyang'ana nthawi zonse. Ndi 5'8 ″, ndiye kuti siwamtali kwambiri kuzungulira, koma anali wamkulu. Takonzeka kupita kulikonse kuti tikasangalale. Anali ndi mphamvu ngati zomwe simungakhulupirire, ndipo adapeza nthawi yophunzira ndikumakhoza bwino. Atsikana anazindikira izi. Anyamata anazindikira izi. Aliyense amafuna kukhala naye pafupi.
Ndinkakhala naye m'chipinda chaching'ono ku koleji kotero ndikudziwa kuti sanazengereze ngati ine. (Adakonda kusunga katundu wake kwa msungwana wake yemwe anali woyenera).
Atamaliza koleji, bwenzi lake linasudzulana naye ndipo sanachiritsidwe pomutaya. Anadzikakamiza kuti akwaniritse zolinga zosavuta m'moyo atataya chinthu chokhacho chomwe adakondapo kapena amafuna. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikosavuta kufuna zomwe zili zosavuta. Amachoka tsiku lililonse tsopano. Mosalephera.
Ndidadzuka m'mawa pakama pake m'chipinda chochezera ndikumva mafuta ake akumenyedwa kwinaku akukula. Ndimamva ngakhale makoma owonda a nyumba yake yokongola. Amatuluka kukasamba m'manja kubafa akuwoneka wotopa kwambiri komanso wotopa ngakhale atagona maola 8.
Ali ndi bwenzi loyipa tsopano lomwe limamuchitira zoyipa. Ndinakumana naye ndipo ali pafupi ndi munthu wowopsa, koma kwa iye ndiwabwino kuposa msungwana wokongola yemwe adaswa mtima wake.
Chifukwa chake bwenzi langa lapamtima limadwala matenda ashuga tsopano, chifukwa chake ndikupangira kuti tipite kumalo oyeserera kwaulere kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi. Akuti ayi. Sangakwanitse kulipira mwezi uliwonse nanga bwanji upite tsiku limodzi? Ndikulangiza kuti tithamange m'malo mwake, miyala yaulere ndi yaulere. Akuti ayi.
Patha masiku angapo ndakhala ndikugona pakama pake tsopano ndipo sindinathere nthawi yonseyi. Tilibe chilichonse choti tichite, chifukwa chake ndimathamanga ndekha ndipo malingaliro anga akuthamangitsidwa ndi kuthamanga komwe kukuyenda komanso momwe ndikuthamangira. Kuthamangira tsiku ndi tsiku kunyumba, sindingathe ngakhale kuthyola ma 12 mamailosi pamtunda.
Ndimalowa m'nyumba ya mnzanga wapamtima ndituluka thukuta chifukwa ndinadzikankhira koyamba kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo amandiyang'ana moyipa ndikundichenjeza kuti ndisanunkhe malo ake ndikusamba.
Koma amadzitukumula mpaka kununkha. Pali zovala zonyansa zodzala m'chipinda chake saganiza kuti zimanunkha koma zimamveka ngati zonyansa kwambiri zaumunthu. Pali kapu mu kapeti yake chifukwa sanavutike kutsuka koloko yemwe watayika.
Ndikukhala kumeneko kwaulere, ndiye sindinena chilichonse. Koma ndikudandaula za thanzi lake.
Amadzudzula chilichonse pamitundu yake. Koma ndidamuwona akuwombera zinyalala mkamwa mwake mosadzuka mlungu wonsewo. Amakhala ndi chakudya chimodzi chopitilira kuyambira Lachisanu mpaka Lamlungu. Zachidziwikire kuti pamene tidapita kuti tikadye, amandiuza kuti ndikadye kenakake kakang'ono nditatha kudya ndikusankha kuti ndikwaniritse zolimbitsa thupi zomwe ndidapeza pabwino.
Tikubwerera kwawo, ndipo ndimalankhula ndi mnzathu yemwe tonse tidakhala dokotala.
Mnzanga wapamtima wakale akuti, "Zabwino kwa iye. Sindikadachita izi, osayenerera mavuto onsewa. Ali ndi zambiri zoti achite. ”
OSAKHALA OGWIRA NTCHITO?!?! M'malingaliro mwanga, ndimachita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Mnzathuyu amakhala ku Hawaii. Amapanga 300k pachaka akugwira ntchito 9-5, OSACHITSA odwala odwala kwambiri, kusefera nthawi iliyonse akafuna, ndikukhala mnyumba yayikulu yamphongo, pomwe ndimakhala moyo wapakatikati wopanda zosankha zochepa chifukwa ndilibe ndalama.
Pazifukwa zina sindimatha kuyang'ananso bwenzi langa lapamtima, chifukwa chake ndinanama ndikunena kuti ntchito ikufunika kuti ndibwerere molawirira, choncho ndinabwerera kunyumba mofulumira kuposa momwe ndinayenera kukhalira.
Nditafika kunyumba, mosasamala, ine Facebook ndidatumiza uthenga kwa bwenzi lakale la bwenzi langa lapamtima, yemwe adamuyatsa. Poyamba tinali mabwenzi tisanathe ndipo ndinamva chisoni chifukwa cholephera kuthandizana. Ndimamufunsa momwe moyo wake ukuyendera ndipo ndinapepesa chifukwa chokhala MIA atatha. Anayankha nthawi yomweyo nati amamvetsetsa bwino, ndikuti ndi amene adasiyana ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima.
Sindinataye pafupifupi sabata tsopano, chifukwa chake ndimatha kufunsa mwamtendere chifukwa chomwe iye ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima adasudzulana osamveka ngati chinthu chovuta.
Amanena mosabisa momwe zimakhalira. Ankaona ngati pali woluza wamkulu mkati mwake. Anali ndi mwayi chifukwa anali wowoneka bwino nthawi imeneyo, koma sanamuwone akuyesayesa chilichonse. Ndidamuteteza pomati adapeza bwino, koma adati zonse ndizachibale. Anali ndi 2 majors ndipo adagwira ntchito yaying'ono. Analibe zolinga atapita kukoleji ndipo amangofuna kukhala naye. Ananenanso kena kokongola kopatsa chidwi. Anati chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe adasokonekera ndi iye ndikuti amadzimva kuti chibwenzi chawo chitha, atha, ndipo sakufuna kukhala ndi bambo yemwe amafunikira wina kuti akhale mwamuna.
Ndipo ndinali kuseweredwa. Anawona woluza wonenepa kuti tsopano ali mkati mwa mwana wachimwemwe wopita ku koleji yemwe sanayese kuyesa chifukwa anali ndi kumwetulira komanso kosavuta.
Ngati mukuganiza za wokondedwa wakale wakale. Amapanga ndalama zambiri kuposa ine (pafupifupi katatu konse). Akuwotchedwabe ngakhale ali ndi mwana tsopano. Zikuwoneka kuti mwamuna wake atha kusiya ntchito kuti abwerere kusukulu ndikusamalira mwana wake nthawi yonse akafuna. Amamukonda kwambiri. Ndinali nditamaliza kuyankhula pano, koma akuwonjezera kuti sanafune kukhala ndi bwenzi langa lapamtima chifukwa sanafune kugawana zipatso za khama lake ndi munthu wonga iye. Amamva ngati atha kumunyamula ndikunyamula ubale wawo.
Kumapeto kwa kucheza kwathu, amafunsa zomwe zimandichitikira. Sindikunena zambiri, kungoti ntchito yakufa, chilichonse ndichabwino, ndikunena. Ndipo atsikana otentha ndi ankhanza ngati zoyipa. Akufunsa zomwe zandichitikira. Ndimakonda kufuna zinthu, akutero.
Ndiye ndithawireni, eti?
Mawu kwa anzeru. Nditakhala ndimayendedwe anga ataliatali, ndidamuwona bwenzi langa lakale kwambiri momveka bwino kuti anali ndani. Wansanje, wosowa, waulesi, mnyamata. Ndinkamukonda, ndipo mpaka pano. Koma ndampatsa zifukwa zambiri chifukwa mkatikati, ndimakhala ngati iye, inenso.
Chifukwa chake, tanthauzo la nkhani yonseyi ndi iyi. SIMUDZIWIKA. Anthu amatha kuwona momwe mumanyansira. Chifukwa choti mumadzipangira nokha ndipo ndinu aulesi mochenjera, sizitanthauza kuti azimayi sangazindikire kuti simumamuna.
Amuna ena nawonso amadziwa.
Ndidakumana ndi mzanga wa dokotala ndipo ndidacheza naye patali chifukwa ali pano patchuthi. Anatinso ndidakhala wotsika nthawi ina muubwenzi wathu, ndipo samatha kukhala pafupi ndi ine chifukwa amadzikayikira, ndipo samafuna kuti inenso ndichite. Anadzipeza yekha akuyenda m'njira yosavuta m'moyo pomwe anali nane. Anati mumatembenukira kwa anthu omwe mumadzizungulira, ndipo kwa iye, akuti akutembenukira kwa ine.
Palibe amene amakonda kunyozedwa, koma sindinakhumudwe chifukwa zinali zowona.
Mukufuna kudziwa chifukwa chake mulibe abwenzi? Bwanji mtsikana? Abwino akukuthawa chifukwa akuwona.
Mnzanga wa dokotala anandiitana kuti ndikakhale naye ku Hawaii m'chipinda chake china kwakanthawi kuti ndikabwezeretse moyo wanga bola ndikanatha kulipirira chakudya changa ndikutsuka nyumbayo pomwe akugwira ntchito.
Ndidamufunsa chifukwa chomwe akuyesetsa kundithandizira zaka zonsezi.
Anati, koyamba patapita nthawi yayitali, akuwona kuti ndikufuna kukhala wopitilira zomwe ndili. Ndipo ndangokhala masiku 8 okha ku nofap kachiwiri, ndipo amatha kuwona kuti china chake chasintha mwa ine.
Zomwe ndazindikira kuti zikufunikadi sizili m'mutu mwanu mokha. Ndikumadzuka tsiku ndi tsiku ndikupulumutsa mphamvu zanu zakugonana kuti mudzipangire nokha komanso aliyense wokuzungulirani bwino, ndikumenya zolinga zanu, osangowononga zokhumba zanu zonse mu chovala chachinyengo. Ndinaganiza kuti sindikufuna kalikonse kamandipatsa mphamvu. Sanatero.
Ndinauza bwenzi langa lapamtima kuti palibe fap, ndipo ndinamuuza kuti sindikufuna kalikonse nditachoka ndikuchita tsiku ndi tsiku kunandipangitsa kukhala wopanda pake. Ndamuwonetsa kumsonkhano uno ndi makanema onse aku youtube, ndipo adati, "Sindiwona zomwe zikukhudzana ndi chilichonse."
Ayi. Iye satero.
LINK - Kulimbana Kwenikweni (pambuyo pa kuchita bwino ndikubwerera m'mbuyo.) NTHAWI YOMWEYO.
By makachimatu
;