(TLDR pansi)

Ndakhala ndikubisalira pa subreddit iyi kwa masiku angapo tsopano, ndipo ndine wogwiritsa ntchito wamba koma ndimayenera kutsegula akaunti yatsopano popeza mkazi wanga amadziwa dzina langa lina. Ndinkafuna kufotokoza pang'ono za nkhani yanga, momwe kuseweretsa maliseche / zolaula kunadzetsa zizolowezi zowopsa, pafupifupi kuwononga banja langa, komanso momwe zinthu zasinthira kuyambira pomwe ndidasiya. Ndine wokondwa kupitiliza kuwerenga nkhani za ena ndikukhala pano kuti ndithandizidwe ndi anthu ammudzi, chifukwa monga tonsefe timadziwira, simuli "kuthengo konse" ndi chizolowezi ichi.

(Chodzikanira: Cholembacho chikukulira ku nkhani zomwe ndidali nazo zopitilira zolaula / maliseche koma chizolowezi changa chazola zolaula chinali chothandizira kwambiri pazonsezi)

Ndili ndi zaka 33 ndipo moona mtima ndakhala ndikulowerera zolaula komanso maliseche kuyambira ndili ndi zaka 15. M'chipinda changa munali TV, bokosi lachingwe, VCR, ndi ma VHS ambiri omwe anali ndi mapulogalamu "ausiku" a Cinemax. Pasanapite nthawi ndinazindikira Limewire ndi MILIYONI ya makanema olaula omwe angafunike nthawi iliyonse, kulikonse. Kuchokera ku 15 kudzera ku koleji mwina ndimachita maliseche 1-2 pa tsiku, tsiku lililonse, mosalephera. Ndinganene kuti moyo wanga wachikhalidwe pazaka izi unali wachabechabe, ndipo moyo wanga weniweni wogonana unali wosavuta. (Sindine munthu wowoneka bwino, ndimangokhala ndi chidwi kapena kudalira pankhani yotsata atsikana). Nthawi zonse ndikayamba chibwenzi ndi wina, zogonana zimakhala zatsopano komanso zosangalatsa kwa mwezi umodzi kapena iwiri, koma kenako ndimayamba kukonda zolaula, zogonazo zimatha, ndipo ubalewo umatha. Nthawi zingapo ndimakhala ndi vuto ladzidzidzi komanso ED ndi atsikana atsopano, koma ndidalemba izi ngati mowa, kupsinjika, osakonda makondomu, ndi zina zambiri.

Kuthamangira mwachangu zaka zanga zoyambirira za 20. Ndinakumana ndi mkazi wanga tsopano ndili ndi zaka 22, ndipo tinakwatirana ndili ndi zaka 24. Mpaka pano, vuto langa linali chizolowezi zolaula / maliseche, koma linali litayamba kuipiraipira. Pakati pa zaka 23 ndi 32, ngakhale zolaula zokha sizinali zosangalatsa mokwanira. Ndinayamba kuzichita m'malo opezeka anthu ambiri ndikusangalala ndikamagwidwa. Pambuyo pake ndidapita ku Craigslist kukayesa kupeza anthu osadziwika omwe ndimacheza nawo, kuthamangitsa magulu, ndi zina zambiri. Ndidaphatikizanso ku LA Fitness ndipo ndimakonda kupita kumalo komwe anyamata nthawi zambiri amapita kukasamba limodzi. (Chidziwitso: Sindinakopeke ndi anyamata, motero sizinapitirirepo kungodzitchinjiriza ndi ena, koma zidayamba kukhala zosokoneza chifukwa ndizosangalatsa kuposa kuzichita payekha) Ndinapita kumaofesi akuluakulu a kanema ndi wamkulu zisudzo. (Ndidakonzekeranso maulendo a masiku awiri ogulitsira mtawuni kuti ndikakhale kutali ndi mkazi wanga ndikupita kokayenda m'mizinda ina - ndalama zanga mosadziwa zomwe zimandithandizira ndi kampani yanga.) Ndinapitiliza izi kwa zaka zingapo, kenako kenako ndinayamba kupita kumakalabu azolowera , malo osangalatsa omaliza kutikita minofu, operekera kutikita kumbuyo, atsikana omwe ndimalipira kuti andiyang'ane ndikuthawa, ndi zina zotere.

Ndidakhala chonchi zaka 8 ndikudzitsimikizira kuti palibe chomwe chinali cholakwika chifukwa sindimadziika pachiwopsezo cha matenda opatsirana pogonana, ndipo chifukwa sindinkagonana ndi wina aliyense, sichinali chinyengo, sichoncho? Tikudziwa kuti sizowona, koma banja langa lidasokonekera ndipo moyo wathu wogonana sunalipo. Ndinayamba kudwala matenda obwerezabwereza pomwe ndinali 26 ngakhale ndinali wathanzi komanso wathanzi. Ndimangodzinamizira ndimutu, kumanamizira kutopa kwambiri, kuyamba ndewu zosafunikira, ndi zina zambiri kuti ndipewe chiyembekezo chogonana. Nthawi zambiri akagona ndimatha kupita kuchimbudzi ndi foni yanga kuti ndikachite msanga ndikutsata imelo yanga yachinsinsi kuti ndiwone zomwe Craigslist ikwaniritse tsiku lotsatira. Ndikuganiza kuti ndili pakati pa zaka 26 ndi 32 mkazi wanga ndipo mwina timagonana kawiri pachaka.

Tsiku lina pafupifupi chaka chapitacho, ZONSE ZINAKHALA pansi pomwe mkazi wanga anatenga foni yanga kuti apeze chithunzi chatsopano ndipo ndinazindikira kuti ndasiya imelo yanga "yachinsinsi" yomwe inali ndi zaka 5-6 za jerkoff meetup communications, zopempha pa intaneti chifukwa chokomera kutha mosangalala, macheza akuda, ndi zina zambiri. Ndidakuwa kuti ayike foni, zomwe adachita. Poyamba ndidamuwuza kuti ndakhala ndikuwonera kanema zolaula kale ndipo ndinkachita manyazi. Ndinagunda pansi, ndimakhala moyo wapawiri, banja langa linali lomvetsa chisoni, chidaliro changa chidawombedwa, moyo wanga wogonana sunali, ndipo ndinali ndimasekondi 2 kutaya mkazi wanga ndi ana anga

Apa ndipomwe "kuchira" kumakhala kosavomerezeka. Kutacha m'mawa ndinachotsa imelo adilesi yachinsinsi ija ndikuimitsa kuzizira konse. (Palibe zolaula, osachita maliseche konse, anasiya kutsatira zithunzi zaukazitape za instagram, ndi zina zambiri) Zakhala pafupifupi chaka chimodzi tsopano, ndipo ndikutsimikiza kuti ndadumphadumpha nyumba ikakhala yopanda kanthu, koma chonsecho mwina ndatenga maliseche / zolaula kamodzi patsiku mwina kamodzi pa miyezi iwiri iliyonse. (Cholinga changa ndi chopanda malire…. Sindimaloleza kuti ndikhale ndi gawo lililonse koma ndimangoyenda mobwerezabwereza.) Ukwati wanga wachita 180. Moyo wathu wogonana ndiwodabwitsa kwambiri. Ndili ndi chidaliro chambiri, ndimapeza zosankha zabwino, ndikusangalala ndi zogonana kuposa momwe ndakhalira m'moyo wanga. Zabwino ndi ziti ..… .Sindisowa zolaula nthawi zonse. Kodi ndichifukwa chiyani ndikufuna kuonera zolaula ndili ndi mkazi wokongola pafupi nane usiku uliwonse? (Zikuwoneka ngati mawu omveka bwino, koma ndikutsimikiza ambiri a inu mukudziwa, sizimawoneka choncho mukakodwa mumsamphawo.) Ndilibe mayankho onse ndipo ndikudziwa kuyesedwa kuti ndigwere kubwerera kuzizolowezizi kuli mwa ine kwinakwake, koma ndikhulupilira kuti aliyense amene ali mumkhalidwe wofananawo womwe ndinali nawo atenge kena kake m'nkhani yanga.

TLDR: wazaka 33, wokwatiwa zaka 9, ana awiri achichepere. Zolakalaka zolaula / maliseche zidasanduka zizolowezi zozama monga kuthamangitsa magulu, malo ochitira zisudzo achikulire, kutikita minofu kosangalatsa, ndi zina zambiri. Ukwati ndi moyo wogonana zinali zomvetsa chisoni. Pafupifupi adagwidwa ndi mkazi. Anayimitsa chilichonse chozizira. Chaka chimodzi pambuyo pake ukwati wanga ndiwopambana kuposa kale lonse, moyo wogonana ndiwodabwitsa, chidaliro chabwino komanso zosintha pamoyo wanga.

Ndiyesera kuti ndizikhala zazifupi. 33M wokwatiwa ndi ana awiri. Siyani zolaula zonse ndi kumangodandaula pakati pa Disembala. Wokondwa kunena kuti sindinayende kamodzi. Ndili ndi backstory yayitali yomwe mumatha kuiwona mu mbiri yanga kuchokera patsamba langa lokhalo. Nkhani yayitali, ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito kwambiri zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche kuyambira ndili mwana.

Zinthu zina zazikulu zatuluka m'miyezi yapitayi. Moyo wanga wogonana ndi mkazi wanga ndiwopambana, ndataya ma lbs 20, maumboni amakhala bwino kuposa momwe ndinali ndi zaka 19, ndipo ndimakhala wopanga bwino nthawi yonse yowonjezera yomwe sindikuwona zolaula / zolaula.

Chinthu chimodzi chomwe ndinena ndichodabwitsa kwambiri, mayeserowo, (zikafika), chimabwera molimba ngati kale. (Nthawi zina mwamphamvu) Mwina si onse amene akumva izi, ndipo mwina anthu ena “saganiziranso zolaula”, koma osati ine. Izi zikutanthauza kuti, chifukwa chomwe ndaletsera ndichifukwa ndasiya chizolowezichi. Chizolowezi ndichinthu chachikulu kuposa mayesero. Pezani zizolowezi zopezeka bwino m'malo mwake, pewani zoyambitsa ZONSE, pezani bwenzi, ndipo pamapeto pake musawerenge masiku. Ndidazindikira kuti nditazindikira zolaula zanga, ndimaganizira kwambiri izi, motero ndimangoganiza zolaula. Moona mtima sindinkaganiza konse kuti ndikanaima nthawi yanji mpaka lero pamene ndinazindikira kuti ndinali miyezi itatu mpaka tsiku.

Zabwino zonse anyamata! Zilibe kanthu kuti mulephera nthawi 1,000 - izi zikutanthauza kuti 1,001 iyenera kukhala nthawi yanu!

PANGANI: Nkhani yeniyeni ndiyoti iyenera kusiya kalekale izi kuti ndigone ndi mkazi.