Uku ndiko kupambana kwanga nkhani ya momwe ndinagonjetsera BDSM fetish yanga. Ndikulemba izi chifukwa ndikudziwa kuti palibe choyipa kuposa kukondwera ndi chinthu chomwe chimatsutsana ndi zomwe mumayendera, chifukwa zimakupangitsani kukayikira umunthu wanu wonse ndipo zimayambitsa mikangano yeniyeni ndi inu nokha. Izi zinkandichititsa kuti ndikhale wolaula (Ndili panobe, koma osakumananso ndi zolaula za BDSM), ndipo ndikufuna kufotokozera nkhani yanga pazifukwa zanga komanso chifukwa ndikuganiza kuti mwina ndi chidwi ndi ena.
Zolinga: Dziwani kuti nkhaniyi ili ndi lingaliro langa lenileni. Chifukwa chake ndilemba kuchokera kuwona momwemo ndipo mukhoza kukhala omasuka kusagwirizana ndi chilichonse chimene mukufuna
Chabwino, ndiyambira kuti? Ndinayamba PMO ndili wamng'ono koma kuyambira ndili ndi 16 ndayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti. Zomwe zidatsata zidachitikiranso anyamata mwina chimodzimodzi: Ndidayang'ana zolaula mosiyanasiyana ndikuyamba kukonza ubongo wanga chifukwa cha feteleza. Chifukwa chake ndinayamba kuseweretsa maliseche kuti ndichite zinthu zomwe si zachilengedwe mwanjira iliyonse ndipo nthawi zambiri sindimakhala gawo lachiwerewere.
Zina mwazirombozi zinali zopanda phindu, koma pamene ndinayamba kulowa mu BDSM zinali zovuta kwambiri. Ndinayamba kuseweretsa maliseche ku mavidiyo omwe amayi amangiridwa, amachiritsidwa movutikira komanso amapatsidwa ululu. Ndasintha ndi lingaliro la kugonana ndi amayi omwe ali osatetezeka kuti ndimakakamiza kugonana ndi ine. Zokondweretsa zomwe zilipo zimakhala zachiwawa zochepa zomwe ndimakhala nazo. Mwachitsanzo, pamene ndiseweretsa maliseche nthawi zambiri, mu gawo lirilonse zinthu zimakhala zovuta.
Pambuyo pake, ndinkangokhalira kudabwa kwambiri ndi zomwe ndayang'ana masekondi angapo apitawo komanso zomwe zinandigwedeza, choncho ndinamva chisoni. Ndinaganiza kuti izi si zabwino, kuti izi sizinthu zogonana komanso nthawi ina ndinayamba kuzindikira kuti ndiyenera kuchita chinachake.
Chifukwa chake ndikuwonekera, ndine munthu wabwino. Ndikupepesa ngati izo zikumveka ngati zonyada, koma zomwe ine ndikutanthauza, kuti ndine munthu yemwe safuna kuvulaza ena. Sindikufuna kutembenuka poona akazi akuchitidwa molakwika ndipo motsimikiza sindifuna kuwachitira akazi okha. Ichi chinali sitepe yoyamba yothetsera izi, kuzindikira kuti izi si zabwino ndi ine ndekha, kuzindikira kuti sizingakhale zoona.
Pambuyo pake ndidayamba ndi NoFap yomwe ndinganene moona mtima, sindine wopambana pano, ndili ndi masiku 16 pazabwino zanga mpaka pano, koma ndadula zinthu zachiwawa kuyambira chaka chopitilira ndipo nthawi zonse abwereranso kuyerekeza ndi "zolaula zopanda vuto". Pomwe ndimapewa zolaula zachiwawa ndimamverera tsiku lililonse kuti sindili nawo. Ndinali ndi nzeru mwadzidzidzi ndipo ndimatha kuziganizira moyenera. Ndikadakhala ndi chidwi chowonera kanema wolaula wa BDSM ndidadzifunsa ngati "mungafune kuti mlongo wanu kapena mwana wanu wamkazi achitidwe zotere kuchokera kwa mwamuna wina?".
Izi zinandithandiza kupewa, kulola makhalidwe anga kupindula zina zokhumba zanga. Zinandithandiza kuti ndipewe, koma mizu ya vuto langa siinangotsimikiziranso.
Chifukwa chokonda kwambiri zolaula, ndinkakonda akazi. Zinthu ziwiri zinandithandiza kuti ndigonjetse izi. Choyamba cha NoFap, koma chachiwiri ndipo mwina chofunika kwambiri: kukhala ndi chibwenzi. Ndili ndi mgwirizano wathanzi wogonana ndikuzindikira, kuti sindifuna kuchita chilichonse kuchokera mavidiyo awa ndi iye. M'mbuyomu ndinaganiza kuti kugonana ndi amayi okongola womangirizidwa ndi olamulidwa ndi ine kudzakhala chinthu chowoneka ndi loto. Nditakhala ndi chiyanjano chogonana ndikuzindikira kuti palibe chomwe chingakufanizidwe ndi kugonana ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, wina yemwe muli ndi chiyanjano chakuya ndi .. amamva ngati mumagwirizana. Ndinazindikira kuti kugonana ndi chinthu chodabwitsa kwambiri ndipo kungakhale kochuluka kuposa kungokondweretsa zinyama zina.
Chinthu chinanso chodetsa nkhawa ndi pamene ndayang'ana pa YouTube kuyankhulana ndi zolaula zodziwika bwino. Anayankhula za moyo wake waumwini, ankawoneka wokoma kwambiri, ankalankhula za mwamuna wake komanso zosangalatsa zake. Potsiriza, iye anali wachifundo kwambiri. Pambuyo pake pamene ndinayang'ana mavidiyo olaula ndi iye ndinamuwona momwe adachitiridwa zoipa ndikuchititsidwa manyazi. Ndinadabwa kwambiri ndipo sindinasinthe. Ndinaphunzira phunzirolo, kuti ndinangodzuka ndikuwona momwe adachitira zoipa pamene analibe umunthu kwa ine. Iye ndi mazana a akazi ena m'masewero omwe ndawawonera m'mbuyomu kumene ndimangolakalaka zinthu ... koma nditatha kuona munthu pambuyo pake, sindinathe kuwonanso mavidiyo ake achiwawa.
Kotero pakali pano ndimamverera kumasuka kuchoka ku BDSM fetish ndipo sindikudandaula konse kuti ndiwone amayi akuchiritsidwa molakwika. Inde mavidiyo awa amandipangitsa kuti ndiwuke, makamaka chifukwa mavidiyo awa akadali ndi kudandaula, uve, ndi ukazi. Koma ndikutha kunena kuti chiopsezochi si mbali ya chiwerewere changa.
Ndikupepesa Chingelezi changa choipa, sindine wokamba nkhani ndipo n'zovuta kulembera malemba awa. Komabe ndili ndi mwayi ngati mumakonda kuwerenga kapena kuzindikira. Ndine wokondwa kuti ndikutha kumuuza wina nkhani yanga chifukwa ndilibe anthu ambiri omwe ndingathe kuyankhula nawo pa mutu uwu. Khalani ndi tsiku labwino!
LINK -Momwe ndinagonjetsera fetusi yanga ya BDSM
by Phutonkla
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