Zaka 27 - Ndinayamba kukwiya kwambiri; zakudya zathanzi zinayamba kukhala zosasangalatsa; Sindingathe kudzutsidwa

Masiku a 120 opanda zolaula.

M'masiku otsiriza a 120 ndakhala ndikuchita zodzoladzola nthawi za 7 zokha (popanda zongopeka kapena zokopa zina).

Ndimenya kudalira kwa Cannabis, masiku a 121 aukhondo monga lero.

Ndinali chidakwa kwambiri kwa zaka 8 ndipo ndinasiyira 437 Masiku apitawa ozizira.

Kwa miyezi iwiri yapitayi ndikudya chakudya cham'mawa tsiku lililonse (sindimadya chilichonse pakati pa chakudya chamadzulo ndi chamasana).

Nthawi yomaliza ndidamwa inali 142 masiku apitawa.

Chiyambi: - 12 kapena akhoza kukhala wazaka 13. Anayamba kuthamangira kuzithunzi za atsikana a bikini. Zaka 14, ndinali kuthamangira ku zolaula zolaula. Ndinazolowera. Sindinadziwe zomwe ndimachita. Ndinayamba kukwiya kwambiri patapita nthawi; Zakudya zabwinobwino zimakhala zosasangalatsa ndipo ndimapewa kuzidya. Nkhani yayitali, ndimakonda zolaula tsiku lililonse ndipo ndili ndi zaka 16 pomwe ndimkawerenga, mnzanga (wamkazi, wamkulu chaka chimodzi kuposa ine) adalowa mchipinda changa ndipo adakhala pafupi kwambiri ndi ine ndipo mwadzidzidzi adayamba kupanga ndipo ndinali ngati wakufa. Adayesera kukhudza Dick wanga yemwe anali atamwalira ... Sindinathe kudziwa zomwe ndimayenera kuchita. Anakhala wowopsa kwambiri ndipo ndimakhala ngati wosokonezeka, kuyesera momwe ndingathere kuti ndidzutse koma palibe chomwe chidachitika. Momwe amatuluka mchipindacho ubongo wanga sunathe kukonza zomwe zinali zitangochitika kumene.

Usiku ndimatha kuganiza kuti zomwe zimandichitikirazo ndi chiyani kenako ndikugona.

Ndinkasewera masewera a pa vidiyo kuyambira ndili mwana ndipo ndinapeza anzanga. Komanso anali osokoneza bongo a pmo.

Choyamba patsogolo. Ndinali 18, ndikujambula pa zoyipa zina, 5-8 orgasms sabata. Ndinaphunzira kusuta ndudu, kusuta fodya. Kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro, kukhumudwa pang'ono, nkhawa komanso kusowa chidwi kwa azimayi enieni anali umunthu wanga. Kuda nkhawa kwa anthu kunali kukukulira. 4 ya anzanga anali kudutsanso momwemo.

Pomaliza, sindinathenso kumutenga ndipo ndinatuluka ku koleji. Kuphunzira kunandivuta kwambiri.

Mofulumira. Ndinali ndi 21 wokhumudwa chifukwa chakumwa ndikuledzera mpaka kukomoka, ngakhale sindinali kumwa kuposa 2-3 pamwezi. Koma ndinkamva bwino ndikaledzera. Ndi anzanga awiri apamtima ndidayamba kuchezera mahule, timagwiritsa ntchito mapiritsi a dick. Zinkagwira ntchito koma ndimakhala ngati makina osalankhula okhala ndi mbolo yowongoka. Sindingathe kutulutsa nawo gawo lachiwiri popanda kuthawa. Sindingathe kudzutsidwa, zonse zimawoneka zosasangalatsa.

Mofulumira. Ndinali ndi zaka 24, ndinapeza Cannabis. Ine ndi anzanga tinamva ngati anatumidwa ndi Mulungu. Tinkasuta usiku uliwonse ndikusangalala. Chisangalalo ichi sichinakhalitse. Posakhalitsa aliyense anali wokhumudwa kwambiri komanso wamantha muubongo. Nthawi zina ndimakhala ndekha ndikukhala ndi zolaula ngati kulibe mawa. Tsopano, ine ndi anzanga tikakumana, tinkakwera ndi kusuta ndudu ngati chimbudzi. Zakudya zopanda pake, PMO, Cannabis, hule kamodzi pa kanthawi. Umenewo unali moyo wathu mpaka usiku umodzi ndinali kuthamangira ku zolaula za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso transgender. Ntchitoyo itachitika, ndimakhala ngati "ndikuchita chiyani? Kodi ndichifukwa cha mankhwalawa? Ndine gay? Ndimagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha? ”Sindinakhalepo wabwinobwino kuyambira tsiku lomwelo.

25.Oct.2017 masana, anzanga adandiimbira foni. Amapita kukagula chamba kwa wogulitsa watsopano yemwe ali ndi khansa yabwino kwambiri. Ndinali wodandaula, wokhumudwa, wothedwa nzeru kwenikweni. Ndinayankha ndipo tinali paulendo wopita kwa wogulitsa watsopanoyo. Titafika kumeneko, ndimakhala ndi nkhawa zambiri, popeza anali kugula, sindinadziwe zomwe zinandigwera ndinayamba kuchoka pamalo amenewo. Mnzanga wapamtima anandikwiyira ndipo momwemonso ndinalili nawo onse pondiyimbira foni. Ndataya zoyipa zanga ndikunena zoyipa zina. Kumeneku kunali kutha kwaubwenzi wapamtima wa zaka 8.

Kwakhala kwenikweni masiku 768 ife sitinakhalepo limodzi.

Ndidafika kunyumba ndidaganiza zosiya ndudu ndi ziphuphu. Uko kunali kusintha.

Ndimayesetsa kusiya ndudu ndi chamba ndi mphamvu zanga zonse, ndimatha milungu ingapo ndikumayambiranso ndikumakhala ndi chamba komanso pmo. Ndinali ngati zombie. Koma ndinapitilizabe kuyesetsa. Ndinali wosungulumwa ngati fuck. Kusinthasintha kowopsa, nkhawa zowopsa. Nthawi zina madzulo ndimapita kukacheza ndi hule nditameza mapiritsi a Dick omwe amandipangitsa kukhala wamisala, dzanzi komanso pafupifupi zombie. Sindinkasangalala nawo. Ndinapita kumeneko chifukwa sindimadziwa zomwe ndingachite. Ndinali wakufa ubongo.

Usiku wina ndinali Wam'mwamba ndipo ndimamvera nyimbo zaphokoso ndikulira nditagona pakona la chipinda changa chamdima. Ndikukumbukira zomwe aphunzitsi anga ankakonda kunena ("Mwana uyu ali ndi tsogolo labwino") ndipo apa ndimakhala ndikulira, nditagona mchipinda chamdima pomwe mkulu adayamba kuzimiririka. Pomaliza, ndinadzipatsiranso ndudu. Posakhalitsa ndidayamba kutsika kwambiri ndikusiya zolaula ndidatsika koma ndidapitilira mpaka tsiku lina ndidakhumudwa ndi makanema a Gabe a YouTube ndipo pambuyo pake Makanema a Gary. Ndinali ngati "chifukwa chiyani ku gehena sindinapeze izi kale?"

Ndidayamba kusiya PMO kwambiri kuyambira tsiku lobadwa langa la 26th. Ndipo m'miyezi isanu ndi inayi yapitayo ndinayambiranso zolaula za 3 nthawi yomwe ndinali m'manja mwa cannabis. Sindinalole kuyambiranso kusuta.

Sindikudziwa ngati PIED yanga yachiritsidwa kapena ayi koma sindingayendere hule kuti ndikawone kapena kuwona momwe ndikulowera mpaka pano ndili ndi chidwi ndi ubale wopanda tanthauzo wokhala ndi chisangalalo chakanthawi kochepa.

Zaka za 13 za moyo wanga zidataika zolaula. Sindidzadziwa kuti moyo wachinyamata wamba ndi wotani.

Ngati mukuvutika ndi izi, dziwani kuti kuchira kumatha kuchitika ngakhale mutakumana ndi zovuta bwanji.

Ma OCD anu onse, ADD, Bongo chifunga, nkhawa, kukhumudwa, kukwiya, kusowa tulo, kugona pafupipafupi, kuzengeleza, kukhumudwa, kulakalaka chakudya chopanda pake. Ndikukulonjezani. Zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikusiya PMO.

Ndilibe wina koma izi zotsogola zogawana zowawa zanga. Ndimangofuna ndichotse izi pachifuwa changa ndikukudziwitsani inu anyamata kuti ndipamene ndidapeza thandizo ndi chilimbikitso. Malo abwino kwambiri pa intaneti.

LINK - Masiku a 120!

by opambana_modzi