Chaka ndi theka zapitazo ndidasiyana ndi gf (L) yanga yoyamba. Patatha milungu iwiri ndidakumana ndi mtsikana (M) ndipo tidakondana. Tidakhala limodzi masiku khumi chilimwe chisanachoke ndipo tidayamba sukulu m'malo osiyanasiyana. Sindingagone naye poyamba, mozindikira, chifukwa ndinali wosweka mtima. Koma kenako ndinayamba kuyang'ana mozama ndikuzindikira kuti ndinali ndi zovuta kuchokera ku PIED.
Izi zidandilowetsa m'mafamu. Ndinkakonda kupita ku NoFap, koma ndimangoganiza za izi ndikufufuza, ndimakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri ndipo zimandivuta kusiya zolaula zanga.
Ndinamuwonanso M miyezi isanu ndi umodzi pambuyo pake pa 30 Day NoFap streak ndipo ndinali ndi nkhawa kwambiri za PIED kotero kuti ndimangotenga chilichonse kuti ndisiye kugonana. Iyi inali nthawi yanga yonse yotsika. Lero ndikuzindikira kuti sindinangokhala pachibwenzi choyipa ndi kugonana, koma ndi ine ndekha ndikusiya ubale wanga woyamba.
Uku kunali koyambirira kwa 2020. Ndinayamba kujambula zolaula kenako ndikupita ku nofap masiku khumi, ndikudzichititsa manyazi komanso zosowa zanga zogonana. Kenako mliri unagunda.
Ndipo ndinabwereranso ndi L, bwenzi langa loyamba. Sindingagone naye popanda vuto chifukwa ndimamukhulupirira pazolakwitsa zanga. Kugonana ndimisewu iwiri, osati munthu wopitilira muyeso yemwe amapitako kwa maola ambiri ngati akuonera zolaula. Kotero ndimamukhulupirira ndipo tinali pamodzi, komabe ndinkangokhalira kuonera zolaula. Ndipo tidasweka, mozungulira Ogasiti 2020. Nthawi ino ndidaganiza zowonjezerapo ntchitoyi kuti ndimugonjetse. Kuti ndizimva bwino ndi ine. Kukumbukira kuti ndinali yekhayo amene ndimayenera kumusangalatsa, ndikuti ndikakwanitsa kutero zina zonse zitha kudziwika. Ndinasamukira mumzinda wina (ndi nkhani ina) ndipo ndinapeza ntchito. Ndinasuntha.
Ndipo pamene ndinali kuganizira kwambiri za ine ndekha ndi ntchito zanga zatsopano ndayiwala mwangozi za kuonera zolaula. Ndinakhalamo pafupifupi milungu iwiri pamene ndinazindikira. Ndinkadzimva kuti ndine wamphamvu, ndipo sindinachite zolaula ndipo sizinandichotsere mphamvuzo.
Kenako ndidapeza Pornfree, ndipo ndichinthu chomwe NoFap sangakupatseni. Zithunzi zolaula zimamasula kugonana kwanu, pomwe NoFap imamangirira pansi. Ndikangogwiritsa ntchito malingaliro anga okha ndimamva bwino chifukwa ndimakhala wowopsa, koma ndikakhala ku NoFap zonse zimamveka zolakwika ndipo ndimangomaliza kuwonera zolaula.
Popeza sindinakondweretsedwe ndipo ndinali ndi ntchito zambiri zomwe ndimangochita ndikadangopezeka ndikapeza ma boners achilengedwe ndipo ndimangokhala chete kunyumba. Mwina anali maulendo 0.9 sabata iliyonse. Ndazindikira kuti uwu ndi mulingo woyenera kwa ine, koma ndikutsimikiza umasiyanasiyana malinga ndi munthu. Ndibwino kuti muzichita mosamala, ngati njira yolumikizirana ndi kudzionetsera nokha. Zimakuthandizani kuti muzisangalala Lamlungu usiku.
Kotero nkhani yanga inatha kumapeto kwa sabata yatha. Ndinakumana ndi M. Ndi munthu amene ndimamukonda, koma ndinali nditalephera chifukwa cha maunyolo omwe ndinkakhala nawo. Tinatuluka kenako ndikubwerera kunyumba kwanga. Tikagona, lingaliro la PIED silinadutse m'maganizo mwanga. Ndinali wokonzeka, osati mwakuthupi kokha komanso mwamalingaliro. Ndipo titatha kugonana ndinamva kuti nkhawa yomwe ikubwerayi imamasula mavuto omwe anali akundipweteka pachifuwa ndi m'mapewa kwa chaka ndi theka tsopano. Ndinapita kubafa, ndikudziyang'ana ndekha, ndikusintha mosangalala. Mphindi iyi inanditsimikizira kuti ndakula monga munthu.
Sindikadakhala ndi usiku wokongola ngati uno ndikadapanda kukhala ndi Pornfree popeza ndidasiyana ndi L kachiwiri. Zinandiphunzitsa kukumbukira kuti kugonana ndi kodabwitsa komanso kwachinsinsi, osati china chomwe chimayenera kuphatikizira ojambula ma cinema komanso opanga milionea LA. Ndife chabe anthu pambuyo pa zonse. Chifukwa chake zikomo pagulu la Pornfree. Uwu ndiye mwayi wanga woyamba apa koma ndakhala ndikuwerenga za izi kwakanthawi. Tili m'njira yoyenera.
Koma ndiyenera kunena chinthu chomaliza ichi: pomwe ndidayamba ndi NoFap ndimaganiza kuti kumamatira ndikundichiritsa, monga mankhwala amtundu wina. Kupita pa 100+ day streak sikuchita zoyipa. Ndizokhudza kusiya mavuto omwe tonsefe timakhala nawo. Ndizokhudza kuchita zinthu zomwe mumakonda nokha. Ndizokhudza kuzindikira kuti chikhalidwe ndi zolaula zimayika chiyembekezo chathu, ndipo zimatipangitsa kukhala osatetezeka. Mukakwanitsa kuchita izi mumasiya kuwerengera. Koma palibe changu. Aliyense adzafika kumeneko pakafunika kutero. Monga momwe a Daft Punk ananenera kuti: "Ndife anthu enanso."
LINK - Kubwezeretsa PIED kumafuna kuyesetsa mwakhama, osati kungodziletsa
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