Nthawi ino zaka ziwiri zapitazo ndinali 19 ndipo ndinali nditagunda pafupi kwambiri ndi miyala mpaka zolaula. Wovuta kwambiri PIED - sindinathe kuzimvetsa konse, makamaka - ndikumva zinthu zoyipa zomwe zimadza ndi izo. Kudzidalira, kusowa chidwi, zolaula zimandilepheretsa kukhala ndi chizolowezi choyenera, zonsezo. Ndinapitiliza kucheza ndi mtsikana ku uni yemwe ndimamukonda kwambiri. Amandikondanso, koma sindinachite chilichonse ndi iye, pazifukwa zomveka. Ponseponse, ndimamverera ngati dothi loyera.
Ndidakhala miyezi ingapo yapitayi ndikuyang'ana mozungulira, ndikuyesera kuti ndiwone mavuto anga, ndipo ndidapeza malowa, komanso anyamata okhwima kwambiri. Ndidapeza Noah Church ndi Gabe ndi yourbrainonporn - Ndiyenera kuti ndinawerenga tsamba lililonse la tsambalo katatu, ndi chilichonse chomwe chimalumikizidwa, maphunziro onse ndi maakaunti anu onse. Ndidawerenga ndikuwerenganso maakaunti, ambiri aiwo kuchokera ku subreddit iyi. Izi ndi zomwe zidandipatsa chiyembekezo.
Nthawi ina idabwera mu Epulo, sindikudziwa kuti ndi liti, pomwe ndidatsimikiza mtima kusiya zolaula. Pambuyo poyambira zabodza, ndidayamba kujambula zolaula zanga zoyambirira m'mwezi wa Meyi. Sabata yoyamba, mwina milungu iwiri kapena itatu - koyambilira kwa nthawi yachilimwe ndidatsimikiza kuti ndiziyika zolaula kumbuyo kwanga, ndikubwerera ku uni umodzi nditachita masiku 90 odziwika. M'malo mwake, ndikukumbukira kuchuluka kwamasiku omwe anali ataphulika anali pafupifupi 107 kapena kuyambira poyambira mpaka pamapeto. Ndimakumbukira mwina chifukwa ndidachotsa lililonse lamasiku amenewo ndikuwona lililonse ngati chigonjetso.
M'malo mwake, ndikuganiza ndikukumbukira chiwerengerocho chifukwa ndinali wodandaula poyesa mayendedwe anga nthawi yonseyi. Nditawerenga maakaunti osiyanasiyana ndidadziwa kuti anyamata onga ine, omwe adayamba achinyamata (mwina mozungulira 12 kapena 13) adatenga nthawi yayitali kuti achire, chifukwa chake ndidakonzeka. Koma nthawi yomweyo, ndinali ndi nkhawa kwambiri kuti ndisatenge nthawi yayitali. Chimodzi mwazomwe zidandilimbikitsa ndikuti ndikhale ndiubwenzi ndi mtsikanayo nditabwerera ku uni. Zinali zovuta kuyenda kwakanthawi ndipo ndimayenera kuyesetsa kuti ndisatumphe. Ndinagona ndi masokosi kapena magolovesi m'manja chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti ndikadayamba ngakhale kukhudza chibonga changa. Kwa ine ndinali ndi PMO nthawi zonse ndisanagone, ndipo ndinali nditafika poti sindinkagona popanda izi. Chifukwa chake, panali masiku angapo opanda mpumulo. Sindikukumbukira zokwanira kuti ndifotokoze bwino momwe zimakhalira tsopano; Ndimakumbukira kuti zinali zovuta kwambiri.
Komabe, miyezi itatu ikubwerera ndipo ndinali nditabwerera ku uni, osasintha kwenikweni PIED yanga kwakanthawi kochepa komwe kunatsatiridwa mwachangu. Chiyembekezo changa choyambiranso mwachangu sichinachitike. Ndikulumpha mpaka kumapeto, zidatenga miyezi isanu kulowa mchimake ndisanachite bwino. Panali nthawi zovuta poyamba, koma ndinakwanitsa kuti zizigwira ntchito ndi mtsikanayo ndipo tangokondwerera chaka chathu chokumbukira zaka ziwiri. Ndine wokondwa kwambiri ndi izi. Ndimanyadira kuti ndasiya. Icho chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri chomwe ine ndinayamba ndachitapo ine ndikuganiza, ndipo chopindulitsa kwambiri. Monga anthu ambiri ndimawona kuti phindu ndilowonjezeranso kudziletsa m'moyo wanga - ndinayamba kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndikuchita bwino kusukulu, chinthu choterocho.
Ndabwerera tsopano chifukwa ndikumva kuti ndikubweranso m'miyezi ingapo yapitayo. Ndinaganiza kuti zinali bwino kuseweretsa maliseche ndi zinthu zina, zomwe ndikuganiza kuti pang'ono pang'ono sizingakhale zopanda vuto mwa izo zokha. M'malo mwake, pomwe ndimaganiza zokhudza kuseweretsa maliseche (mwachitsanzo, pang'ono pang'ono, pokhapokha ndikadzuka zenizeni osati kungolakalaka) ndidazipeza zabwino.
Koma mizere idayambanso kusokonekera ndipo zidayamba kukhala zovuta. Posachedwa, makamaka ndikudzipatula, kupatukana ndi bwenzi langa (ngakhale ndiyenera kunena kuti zakhala zikuchitika kwakanthawi kwa miyezi ingapo) ndakhala ndikuyang'ana zinthu zina. Nthawizonse wokongola kwambiri, zolemba zina.
Koma ndikudziwa komwe mseuwu ukupita ndipo ndikumva kale zovuta zake. Chifukwa chake, ndabwera kuno kuti ndibwererenso pa kavalo. Ndikuganiza kuti mzere wanga womaliza udatha chaka chimodzi, ndidasiya kuwerengera nditakhutira, ndidachiritsidwa kwathunthu mu February. Ngati ndikanatha kuchita zonsezi ndi msinkhu wokhudzidwa nawo, ndikudziwa kuti ndikhoza kupyola masiku ena 90 ndi kupitirira, kuyambira pano.
by Ray_Hudsinho
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