Wongoletsani machitidwe anu olimbitsa thupi kuti muthe kukondana ndi kukhalabe m'chikondi
"Zomwe tingaganizire m'mbiri yonse ya anthu zikutsimikizira kuti anthu azikhala ndi ufulu wogonana, momwe kugonana kumayenera kuonedwa ngati zida zogwirizira ndipo chachiwiri ngati njira yoberekera." ~ EO Wilson
Tikuyembekezera konsati kuti iyambe pachiwonetsero chathu, ine ndi amuna anga tidayang'ana chiwonetsero cha nyama zokwawa zomwe zimaphunzitsa wophunzitsa ziweto wokhala ndi nyama yolira bwino yopuma modekha. Pamene tinkasisita gator, ndidafunsa wophunzitsayo chifukwa chake inali yoyipa kwambiri. “Ndimawasamalira tsiku lililonse. Ndikapanda kutero, zikadakhalanso msanga, ndipo sizingalole izi, ”adalongosola.
Makhalidwe ogwirizana
Ndinadabwa. Miyezi ingapo m'mbuyomo ndinali nditayamba kumvetsetsa mphamvu yolumikizana (kukhudzana ndi khungu, kusisita pang'ono ndi zina) kutulutsa chikhumbo cholumikizana popanda kuchitanso china chilichonse. Sindinadziwe kuti zokwawa zinayankhapo chimodzimodzi.
Zizolowezi zolimbitsa, kapena zizindikiro zothandizira, ziri zizindikiro zosamvetsetseka zomwe zingapangitse kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe kukhala kosavuta modzidzimutsa, pokhapokha chitetezo chilichonse chikasungunuka. Makhalidwe ogwirizana ndi mankhwala abwino ochepetsera chitetezo. Nachi chitsanzo chochititsa chidwi: Makolo olera ana akhala akulimbana kwanthawi yayitali ndi mwana wamasiye waku Romanian yemwe ali ndi vuto lodziphatika. Mwankhanza, adayika mabowo opitilira 1000 mchipinda chake chogona, ndipo atakula amayi ake adachita kufunafuna olondera. Pomaliza, ali wachinyamata, makolowo adayesa kuphatikiza zinthu tsiku lililonse. Pambuyo pa masabata atatu, adalumikizananso ndi makolo ake ndipo adayambanso kupanga ubale wabwino ndi anzawo. Mverani kwa ake mawu 'zikomo' kwa mphoto.
Makhalidwe olimbikira ndi othandiza chifukwa ndi momwe ana oyamwitsa amagwirizanira ndi omwe amawasamalira. Kuti apulumuke, makanda amafunika kulumikizana pafupipafupi ndi mammaries mpaka atakhala okonzeka kuyamwa. Makhalidwe olimbirana amagwira ntchito polimbikitsa kutulutsidwa kwa ma neurochemicals (kuphatikiza oxytocin), omwe amachepetsa chitetezo chamunthu, ndikupangitsa mgwirizano kukhala wotheka.
Wambiri
Mwachidule, makhalidwe amenewa ndi momwe ife timachitira chikondi ndi makolo athu ndi ana athu. Zizindikiro zothandizira ana zimaphatikizapo kukhudzidwa ndi chikondi, kudzikongoletsa, kumveka kochepetsetsa, kukulitsa, kuyang'ana maso, ndi zina zotero.
Muzilombo zosaoneka zosaoneka ngati ife, kugwirizana tumikizani yachiwiri ntchito komanso (wodziwika kuti kuchotsedwa). Ndiwo amodzi mwazifukwa zomwe timakondana (pafupifupi) kwakanthawi kokwanira kuti makolo onse azicheza ndi mwana aliyense. Honeymoon neurochemistry imathandizanso, koma imafanana ndi kuwombera komwe kumatha. Mosiyana ndi izi, machitidwe olumikizana amatha kusunga mgwirizano mpaka kalekale.
Zizindikiro zamphamvu
Kwa okonda, makhalidwe oyanjana amawoneka mosiyana kwambiri kusiyana ndi omwe amapereka pakati pa wosamalira ndi mwana, komabe kufanana kwake kukuwonekera. Zisonyezero zabwinozi zikuphatikizapo:
- akumwetulira, ndikuyang'ana ndi maso
- khungu pakhungu
- kupereka ntchito kapena kuchitira popanda kufunsa
- kupereka chilolezo chosapemphedwa, kudzera pakumwetulira kapena kuyamikira
- akuyang'anizana
- kumvetsera mwachidwi, ndi kubwereza zomwe mukumva
- wokhululuka kapena kunyalanyaza cholakwika kapena mawu osaganizira, akale kapena apano
- kukonzera mnzako chakudya
- kupuma kolumikizana
- kumpsompsona ndi milomo ndi malirime
- kugwedeza, kapena kugwedeza mokoma, mutu wa mnzanu ndi torso (imagwira bwino pakama, kapena ndi mapilo ambiri)
- kugwirana, kapena kuwaza msuzi, wina ndi mnzake mu chete
- mawu opanda mawu okhutira ndi chisangalalo
- akumayenda ndi cholinga chotonthoza
- massaging ndi cholinga kutonthoza, makamaka miyendo, mapewa ndi mutu
- kukumbatira ndi cholinga chotonthoza
- kugona ndi khutu lako pamtima wa mnzako ndikumvetsera kugunda kwa mtima
- kukhudza ndi kuyamwa nsonga zamabele / mawere
- ikani manja anu pang'onopang'ono kumaliseche kwa wokondedwa wanu ndi cholinga chofuna kutonthoza m'malo mongodzutsa
- kupanga nthawi yogona tulo tisanapite patsogolo
- kugonana
Chitani tsiku ndi tsiku
Pali zinthu zina zodziwika bwino zomwe zimakhudza makhalidwe abwino. Choyamba, kuti pitirizani kuwonekera mu chiyanjano makhalidwe awa ayenera kuchitika tsiku ndi tsiku, kapena pafupifupi tsiku lililonse — monga momwe mphunzitsi wa alligator anaonera. Chachiwiri, siziyenera kuchitika kwa nthawi yayitali, kapena kukhala olimbikira, koma ayenera kukhala osadzipereka. Ngakhale kugwirana wina ndi mzake mwakachetechete kumapeto kwa tsiku lalitali, lotanganidwa kumatha kukhala kokwanira kusinthana zizindikiritso zakuti ubale wanu ndi wopindulitsa. Chachitatu, pali umboni woti mukamagwiritsa ntchito njira zolumikizirana, the zovuta kwambiri ubongo wanu umakhala ndi mankhwala omwe amathandiza kuti mukhale omasuka komanso achikondi. (Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, nthawi zambiri kukakamiza kwambiri kumayambitsa kulolerana kuti amange.)
Chachinai, zina mwazomwe zili pamwambapa zingamveke ngati poyamba, koma mwa lingaliro lofunika kwambiri. Choyambirira ndi cholinga cholimbikitsa kugonana kukangana ndi pachimake-zomwe zimachokera nyengo yowonekera za kusintha kwa ubongo (ndi nthawi zina zosamveka zosamveka) kusanafike ubongo kuti ukhale woyenerera. Mosiyana ndi zimenezo, khalidwe lachiyanjano limayendera zosangalatsa. Amagwira ntchito bwino akamatsitsimula mbali yakaleyo ya ubongo wakale wodziwika kuti amygdala.
Ntchito ya Amygdala
Amygd
ntchito ya ala ndikuteteza up, pokhapokha italimbikitsidwa pafupipafupi ndi zizindikiritso izi. Kunena zowona, imapumuliranso kwakanthawi panthawi yomwe mwakumana nawo mwachangu. Kupatula apo, feteleza ndiye cholinga chathu chachikulu cha majini. Komabe, kulumikizana pafupipafupi, kopanda zolinga kumawoneka ngati kothandiza kwambiri ngati kulumikizana. Izi zikusonyeza kuti kukonda chiwonetsero cham'mbuyomu ndikwabwino… koma kumatha kutumiza mauthenga osakanikirana. Mwinanso zikwangwani zosatsutsika izi zimayambitsa "kukopa-kukopa" okonda kukondweretsanso omwe nthawi zambiri amawona pambuyo paukwati wawo woyamba atakwera kwambiri.
Kulimbikitsa kukhudza
Mulimonsemo, kukhudza sikuti kumangokhala malo otonthoza komanso otetezeka. Zingakhalenso zodabwitsa zokondweretsa, monga mnzanu anagawana:
"Ngakhale panali patadutsa 11 PM, tidakangana. Kwa pafupi maola awiri. Kusangalala modzidzimutsa. Ndinali ndi zokumana nazo usiku watha zomwe ndilibe mawu apompopompo. Wolemera, wakuya, wodzaza. Wochenjera. Wamphamvu. Kupita. Zopindulitsa. Kusonyeza kulumikizana kwakukulu ndi moyo wonse. Tidali olumikizana. Mu funde lomwelo, monga ananenera, ngati gulu la mbalame zomwe zikuyenda mlengalenga ngati ndi lingaliro limodzi. ”
Kaya simukusangalala kapena ayi, machitidwe olumikizana ndi njira yothandiza pakukhazikitsanso komanso kukhalabe ogwirizana muubwenzi… ngakhale ndi bwenzi lomwe likungokakamira ngati alligator. Aphatikizeni ndi kupanga chikondi modekha ndi nthawi yambiri yopuma (ndi a zizindikiro zochepa zogonana kudzera pamasewera), ndipo mukhoza kupeza kuti mutha kugwirizanitsa mgwirizano wanu ndi chisangalalo chodabwitsa.
Mwinanso "swans" osowa (maanja omwe amakhala pamodzi mosagwirizana) amapangidwa, osati obadwa. Zachidziwikire, tsopano ndimasinkhasinkha mosamala nkhani ngati iyi yokhudza a okwatirana okondwa kwa zaka zoposa 80. Mtolankhaniyo adati, "Banjali silinapite kukagona popanda kupsompsonana kapena kukumbatirana."
Hmmm ... chifukwa kapena zotsatira?
~~~
Tamverani: Mphungu 'amakangana' za kusakhulupirika mu ultrasound
MAFUNSO OTHANDIZA:
Mnyamata yemwe amayesedwa ndi makhalidwe abwino
pamene tchuthi ku Cancun anati,
Zinthu zolumikizana ndizodabwitsa! Iye (wokongola waku Brazil) adati kwa ine "Ndili ndi mwayi wambiri, amuna ambiri. Koma sindimawakonda. Ndinu osiyana, amamva wapadera. Ndili ndi mphamvu, ndimakukondani. ”
Ndikuganiza izi ndichifukwa sindimayesera kuti ndilowetse buluku lake monga anyamata ambiri. Kupsompsonana, kugwira, zinthu zogwira tsiku lonse zinali zabwino kwa tonsefe.
Mnyamata wina anati:
Kodi tidakumanapo ndi dona yemwe timagwira naye ntchito tsiku lina polankhula naye kapena pomwe maso athu adakumana mwamwayi. Kuyang'ana m'maso kumatha kukhala kwakukulu. Dziko lonse lopanda mawu. Ndalumikizidwa. Ndinazichitanso pamseu ndikamathamanga m'mawa. Akazi ndi okongola kwambiri.
Kugwiritsa ntchito makhalidwe abwino kuti asiye zolaula
Nditasiya kuchita zolaula, ndinkachita zinthu zogwirizana ndi mkazi wanga masiku ano. Mmawa ndi usiku, mwinamwake maminiti 60 kapena kuposa, ndipo manja ambiri akugwira pakati. Ine ndinangopatsa mkazi wanga maminiti asanu misala pamene iye anali pa tebulo lake ndipo izo zinamveka bwino kwa ine ndi kwa iye.
Umu ndi momwe ndimakhalira moyo wanga tsopano. Ndimagonana pafupipafupi koma ndimakonda khungu ndi khungu, kutikita minofu, kusisita, ndi zina zambiri Izi sizimakhudza kupsompsonana kapena chilichonse chogonana.
Komabe, pali chinthu china chokhutiritsa kwambiri ndi kukhudzana kumeneku komwe kunapangitsa kuti zikhale zophweka kupeza zomwe zinkangowoneka ngati zosatheka kuchitapo kanthu: kusiya zongopeka ndi zolaula ndi maliseche.
"Brave Terry Crews Adapita Patsiku la 90-Day Kuthamanga Kuti Ukwati Wake uziyenda bwino"
[Ichi ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha mphamvu za makhalidwe ogwirizana.]
Izi ndi zomwe iye ndi mkazi wake adapulumuka
Munthu wamba samangokhala kusankha kupewa kugonana masiku 90. Amuna wamba amatha masiku 90 akuyesera kugonana ndipo amalephera mobwerezabwereza. Terry Crews si munthu wamba. Mukayang'ana pa Brooklyn Nine-Nine wosewera, ali pafupifupi 99.9% minofu. Ali pachimake. Amatha kugonana nthawi iliyonse akafuna kugonana. Komabe, ngakhale anali munthu wolimba mtima komanso wokondedwa, iye ndi mkazi wake adasankha kupatula masiku 90.
"Ndidapeza kuti kumapeto kwa masiku 90 ndimakondana kwambiri, ndizowonjezera zambiri. Ndinkadziwa kuti anali ndani, ”akutero a Crews. Pali zokambirana zambiri, zolankhula zambiri, ndikukondana kwambiri. Ndizabwino kwenikweni, Ogwira Ntchito. Tiyesanso izi. Masiku 89 okha kuti atsala…
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