Zotsatira za Coolidge zikhoza kuwomba zolinga zathu zabwino.
Zaka zingapo zapitazo Ofufuza a ku Germany anafotokoza kuti pamene nthawi yothandizana ikuchulukirachulukira, chilakolako chogonana chimachepa mwa akazi - pomwe kufunitsitsa kuchitira chifundo kumachepa mwa amuna. Nthawi zambiri wokhumudwitsidwayo (kaya akhale wamwamuna kapena wamkazi) moganiza bwino angaganize kuti angakhale wokondwa kwambiri atangomagonana momwe angafunire. Nchiyani chomwe chingamupangitse iye kukhala wosangalala?
Ndipotu, vutoli ndi lolemetsa kwambiri kuposa ilo. Mabwenzi alidi otsutsana ndi pulogalamu yachinsinsi yowononga zachibadwa, yomwe nthawi zambiri imawaphwanya kuti asagwirizanitse ndi kugonana-ngakhale ngakhale kwa othandizana nawo.
Taganizirani zomwe zinachitika pamene abambo amphongo ankakumbatirana mobwerezabwereza ndi amayi omwewo (omwe nthawi zonse anali ndi maganizo, chifukwa cha jekeseni wa mahomoni tsiku lililonse). Kumwamba kwa mbulu, chabwino? Ayi. Amuna amathandizidwa mocheperapo, ndipo ndikutaya mtima, pazaka zitatu ndi theka. Sizinali zokhazokha, pamene akazi achikazi amasonyeza, anyamatawa anafulumira kulowerera ndikuchita nawo zest zoyambirira.
Ndiye kodi chingachitike n'chiyani ngati mnzanu nthawi zonse anali ndi maganizo? Mwayi ndibwino kuti mwamsanga sakanatero khalani… osachepera ndi iye / iye. Chowonadi chomvetsa chisoni ndikuti ngati mnzanu sagonana nanu pafupipafupi momwe angafunire, atha kukhala kuti akuteteza mgwirizano wanu ndikukulepheretsani kukhuta pafupipafupi. Izi sizabwino, komabe, chifukwa popanda kulumikizana pafupipafupi, kulumikizana pakati pa maanja kumafooka, ndipo mwatsoka, maanja ambiri amayamba kukondana okha pamene mukutsata zolaula.
Udindo wa dopamine
Kodi kugonana kungasokoneze bwanji okwatirana? Asayansi atayang'ana muubongo wamakoswe akulumikiza, adapeza kuti mankhwala amitsempha otchedwa dopamine ("Ndili nawo!" Chinthu) ndiomwe amachititsa kutopa kwa anzawo. Monga makoswe amatengera mobwerezabwereza ndi mnzake yemweyo, dopamine wocheperako amatulutsidwa m'magawo oyandikira aubongo wake.
Komabe pomwe mnzake yemwe angakhale wokwatirana naye awonekera, dopamine amabweranso. Mumakhala nthawi yomweyo. Ndi njira yomweyi yomwe imakupangitsani kunena "inde" ku mchere wokhala ndi shuga, wonenepa ngakhale mutadzaza ndi mbatata yosenda. Kukula kwa dopamine m'mayendedwe anu amalipiro kumatha kuthana ndi nkhawa zanu, mosasamala kanthu zomwe malingaliro anu amaganiza pazakudya kwambiri kapena kusakhulupirika. Kupeza dopamine ndi "inde!" pamene dopamine yotsika ndi "osati kwambiri." Monga tidzawonera mtsogolo, dopamine nawonso amatsika mwanjira inayake pambuyo pake, yomwe imasewera pachinthuchi. Majini athu amatha kukhala achidwi opanda mtima.
Asayansi amati amatha kutopetsa mwamuna kapena mkazi amene amadziphatika payekha, pamene akugwedezeka mwachisawawa, Zotsatira za Coolidge. Iwo awona chodabwitsa ichi pakati pa zinyama, kuphatikizapo akazi. Mwachitsanzo, makoswe ena aakazi amachititsa kuti anyamata ambiri azichita masewera olimbitsa thupi.ndi anthu osadziwika kuposa ndi omwe adakopera kale. Mogwirizana ndi chodabwitsa ichi, pamene okwatirana asudzulana chifukwa chakuti miyoyo yawo yakugonana yatha, mwamuna kapena mkazi yemwe poyamba sanali wosangalatsidwa nthawi zambiri amadabwitsidwa ndi libido yokwiya pamene wokondedwa watsopano alowa. Mkazi uyu tsopano akumufuna wamwamuna wa makumi awiri ndi zitatu.
Zotsatira za Coolidge
Ngakhale omwe alibe abwenzi enieni amatha kuwona zotsatira za Coolidge pambuyo pa kugonana:
Ndinawonera zolemba za anyamata okhala ndi "zidole zachikondi" zotsika mtengo kwambiri. Mnyamata m'modzi anali ngati khumi a iwo. Anali ndi zochuluka kwambiri kotero kuti chipinda chake chinali kutha pang'ono. Ngakhale anali zidole, anali atayamba kuwawona ngati atsikana omwe adakhala nawo nthawi yokwanira ndipo anali wokonzeka mwayi watsopano (wabodza). Mwina ndichifukwa chake anyamata amatenga zolaula zochulukirapo… tikuganiza kuti tapeza zolaula zolaula nthawi zonse koma titaziwona kangapo sitinabwererenso. Ndili ndi matani a zithunzi za jpeg zomwe ndidatolera, ndikuganiza kuti ndimapeza nkhokwe zosangalatsa zambiri. Koma sindikukumbukira kuti ndidabwereranso kwa iwo. Gawo lokakamiza ndi chithunzi CHATSOPANO, chithunzi chatsopano, kapena mwina, chidole chachikondi.
Chifukwa chiyani biology ingapangitse wokwatirana naye kuti aziwoneka mochuluka ngati Brussels zimamera ndi latsopano kuti ziwoneke ngati myosse wochuluka wa chokoleti? Choncho ana ambiri omwe ali ndi mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya majini amapangidwa (pafupifupi pakati pa anthu ambiri). Zamoyo zanu zimakonda kuyenda m'tsogolo m'mabwato osiyanasiyana monga momwe angathere kukwera. Mkwatibwi ndi owopsa ngati kuyika mazira onse mudengu limodzi.
Kuphatikizana
Mukufuna umboni? Ayi Zinyama zimakhala zosagwirizana (mwachitsanzo zogonana), ndipo ndi atatu okha peresenti ngakhale kumangokhalirana kugwirizana. Anthu ogulitsa awiriwa (kuphatikizapo anthu) amadziwika kuti osagwirizana ndi anthu. Amapanga zokhazikika nthawi zambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri amalera ana awo, ngakhale atakhala ndi zofuna kupusitsa poyamikira zotsatira za Coolidge.
Chibadwa chathu chimafuna kuti tisadandaule kuti tipeze mwayi wolonjeza ngakhale titakhala pachiwopsezo chokhala "osasangalala nthawi zonse." Ngakhale okwatirana atha kukhalabe okhulupirika, kusakhutitsidwa ndi mitsempha iyi kumawapangitsa kuti awonane wina ndi mnzake ngati "Hamburger Helper." Zachidziwikire, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti okwatirana amakonda kupezana zina zimakwiyitsa kwambiri atakwatirana. (The Coolidge Effect imawonekera kwambiri pambuyo poti okonda kuwombera koyamba okondana ndi okalamba atha, okonda atsopano amakhulupirira kuti ali ndi chitetezo chamthupi-monganso anthu omwe alibe chikondi chokwanira.)
Kukopa kopanga
Some couples cope with this sneaky primitive mechanism by cranking up the dopamine using porn or acting out sexual fantasies with their partners to create the ‘right’ mood. In both cases, they attempt to fool the brain that a new mating opportunity has arrived. Others raise their dopamine by artificially generating intense feelings (as with bondage), or swapping mates. However, it can be exhausting to have to orchestrate a dopamine surge every time you want to make love. And what happens when one partner wants a “fix” of sexual excitement and the other is not ready to invest so much effort, or run the proposed risk, to get a thrill?
Kodi tili ndi chiyembekezo chololeza biology kutipangitsa kukhala opanda chiyembekezo? M'masiku amtsogolo tiona njira zomwe zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana m'mbiri yonse zakhala zikugwiritsa ntchito: njira yopangira chikondi chomwe chimathandiza kupewa chizolowezi. Zimatengera lingaliro loti kuthana ndi chilakolako chathu chogonana kumafulumizitsa zotsatira za Coolidge potipatsa mayankho obwerezabwereza a ma dopamine kuti athane ndi nyengo yotsika ya dopamine yomwe imachitika mwanjira yachiwerewere. Izi zimatilepheretsa ife kukhala mu malingaliro.
Pamene milingo ya dopamine siyikuyenda mozungulira kwambiri komanso pang'ono, zisangalalo zobisika zimatha kulembetsa ngati zosangalatsa zosangalatsa - ndipo anzawo samangokhalira kunyezimira. Chifukwa chake, ngati Zotsatira za Coolidge zilowa mgulu lanu, musachite mantha. Mutha kukhala ndi zosankha zomwe simunaganizire.
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