"Ndi Jove, ndilo gawo lozungulira mphoto!"
Yemwe ali membala wodzipereka ku kalabu ya "wina aliyense", ndili ndi ufulu wolankhula. Komabe, tsamba langa lawebusayiti limakambirana za zovuta komanso zachiwerewere zogonana potengera kukwera komanso kuchepa kwazomwe zimachitika pakukonda. Ndinadabwa (ndipo awo, ndikutsimikiza), amuna ochokera konsekonse padziko lapansi adabwera my tsamba latsamba lomwe limadandaula zakusilira zolaula / maliseche.
Poyamba zinali zowawa kuwerenga nkhani zawo. Amunawa nthawi zonse ankasokonezeka chifukwa cha maubwenzi ambiri omwe maimbambo awo amadziwika kuti ndiwo maumwini. Kumbina chabe, buku lina "mnzake" kuwawa kuti athandizidwe —ndipo pulogalamu ya alendo obwera kudzazindikira, komanso yosakwatiwa, idatsimikiza mtima kuti isasiyiretu umodzi womwe ungachitike. M'malo mwake, atayesa kuyimilira, adakumana ndi milungu yambiri yakusintha:
Mnyamata woyamba: Tsiku lonse ndakhala ndikugwedezeka ndi jitters monga momwe ndinamvera pamene ndasiya kusuta.
Mnyamata wachiwiri: Zizindikiro zanga zosiya? Kukwiya kwambiri komwe kumabweretsa mavuto pakati pa anthu, machitidwe ankhanza, osapanikizika (sindinadziwitse dziko lapansi popanda supu ya post-orgasmic sedation), malingaliro ofuna kudzipha, kukhumudwa koopsa, maloto achiwawa (ndimakondwera nazo izi, koma ena atha talingalirani malotowa), kusowa tulo, kuyerekezera zinthu m'maganizo (kudumphira pakama ndikufuula chifukwa ndimamva "kupezeka"), "tizilombo" tikukwawa paliponse pabedi, kugwedezeka, mania (mphamvu yopitilira momwe ndingagwiritsire ntchito moyenera), ndi kulephera kumvetsetsa.
Munthu wachitatu: Kutopetsa? Maliseche. Wakwiya? Maliseche. Zachisoni? Maliseche. Wapanikizika? Maliseche. Ndidayamba kukhala woyamba m'kalasi yanga mpaka pansi, mpaka pomwe ndidalekeratu. Ndinapeza ntchito yapaintaneti, ndikupanga ndalama zambiri ndikangowonera zolaula. Uwu unali moyo wanga, ndipo sindinazindikire kuti ndinali ndi chizolowezi choledzeretsa mpaka nditachitidwa opaleshoni ndi maliseche sizinali zoyenera kwa masiku khumi ndi asanu. Tsiku lachitatu, ndimanjenjemera kwenikweni, ndipo ndidayamba kulumikiza madontho. Zizindikiro zina: kukwiya, kulephera kuyang'ana ("kuyang'anitsitsa matenda am'makoma"), kusinthasintha kwamaganizidwe, kupweteka mutu (nthawi zina kumakhala kolimba), kukakamizidwa kumaliseche kwanga, zopindika, malingaliro, kudzilimbitsa ndikuganiza, kukhumudwa, kusowa chiyembekezo, ndikuopa kuti Sindidzagonanso chifukwa sindinaphunzirepo kanthu kuyambira nditayamba zolaula zaka zisanu ndi zitatu zapitazo ndili wachinyamata.
Ndinamvanso kuti: "Ngakhale ndili ndi zotupa zingati, sindimakhutira; Ndimangogwa ulesi, ndipo ndimayambiranso tsiku lotsatira. ” “Kuti nditsike, ndikufuna zinthu zoopsa zomwe konse akanaona kale. ” Ndimada nkhawa kwambiri kapena kukhumudwa, ndipo ndimafunitsitsa kupewa anthu ena. ” “Ndikayesa kugonana ndi mnzanga, ndimachita izi sindingapeze erection. "
Ambiri analibe mbiri yachipembedzo, ndipo pang'onopang'ono ndinazindikira kuti zokambirana zokhudzana ndi kudziimba mlandu, chikhalidwe, kuponderezana, kuzunzidwa, komanso ufulu wolankhula sizili pambali pake. Mophweka kwambiri, anyamatawa adataya ubongo wawo posachedwa. Zitha kuchitikira aliyense — ndipo mwina zikadandichitikira ndikadakhala wamwamuna. Kuphatikiza apo, azimayi ali pachiwopsezo ubongo wamagetsi, Nayenso.
Zochita za amunawa zinali zomveka, koma kusintha kwa madongosolo oyang'anira mphotho zawo anali atalanda ufulu wawo wosankha. Iwo anali atazolowera.
Monga Burnham ndi Phelan amafotokozera Zobadwa Zachibadwa: Kuchokera pa Kugonana Ndalama Kukadya, Kuwongolera Zomwe Zidali Zoyamba, chilengedwe chathu chasintha, kusiya madera athu akale, opanda chidwi atakhala pachiwopsezo chachikulu. Imagwira chibadwa chathu patsogolo pathu, chifukwa chake ikawona ngati "azibwenzi apabanja" mozungulira, ingatilimbikitse kunyalanyaza moyo wathu… ndikupitilizabe kuthira feteleza. Izi ndizowona makamaka ngati sitichita nawo zokwanira zolimbikitsa pamoyo: kulumikizana mwaubwenzi komanso kukhudza mwachikondi.
Kulimbikitsana kwakukulu kwa madera oyang'anira mphoto ndi yowopsa. Kuopsa kwake si mitengo ya kanjedza yatsitsi kapena khungu. Zimathera pa makina othamanga othamanga kwambiri, kuyesera kukhala patsogolo pazizindikiro zodzipatula. Zosangalatsa zachizolowezi-zinthu zazing'ono zomwe ubongo wathu umachita bwino-pang'onopang'ono zimatha kusangalala nazo. Wachilengedwe Robert Sapolsky adati:
Kuphulika kwakukulu kwapachiyambi kwapangidwe kake ndi kumverera ndi chisangalalo kumapangitsa kuti munthu asakhale ndi chizoloŵezi chokhazikika chokhazikika. Izi zili ndi zotsatira ziwiri. Monga oyamba, posakhalitsa sitikudziwanso kuti kumangoyamba kuseketsa zosangalatsa zomwe zimapangidwa ndi masamba m'dzinja, kapena kuyang'ana kwa munthu woyenera, kapena lonjezano la mphotho yomwe idzabwere pambuyo pa ntchito yayitali, yovuta, komanso yoyenera. Chotsatira china ndi chakuti, patapita kanthawi, timayesetsanso kuzinthu zomwe zimapangidwira. . . . Vuto lathu ndikuti timangokhala ndi njala. Zambiri komanso mofulumira komanso zamphamvu.
Ngakhale chisinthiko chatipanga ife zolengedwa zosawerengeka zolumikizana kuti tipeze maubwenzi opindulitsa, mphotho zawo zowoneka bwino, zopatsa thanzi sizimapangitsa chidwi chazithunzi zazithunzi zowoneka bwino makamaka osati momwe timasokonezera malingaliro athu ndi zochulukirapo. Zitha kukhala kuti timafunikira kulumikizana kwamkati kuti zinthu zizikhala zochepa pamoyo, koma zochulukirapo kukwaniritsa zokondweretsa kulembetsa zosangalatsa.
Masiku ano, kufanana kumakhala kovuta kusamalira. Kaya mufune kapena musakonde, masiku ano kukakamizidwa kwambiri kugonana ndi ngati palibe mtsogoleri wathu wosuta-wosonkhanitsa mu mamiliyoni azaka zakukula kwaubongo. Zachidziwikire, panali azimayi osamvetseka, ndipo atsikana akumapanga mosakayikira anali okongola. Koma zithunzi zawo zosokonekera sizinasinthidwe ndikuwonetsedwa, zimawonetsedwa pazenera lililonse, ndikulira modzipereka chifukwa cha umuna.
Malinga ndi Howard Shaffer, katswiri wa zamaganizidwe ku Harvard, “kuledzera kwambiri kumachitika chifukwa chodziwa zambiri. . . obwereza, otengeka kwambiri, komanso odziwa zambiri. ” Ndipo wofufuza wakale wa Princeton Bart Hoebel adati,
Zomwe zimakhudza kugonana kwambiri [komanso zakudya zokoma kwambiri] ndizo zokha zomwe zimatha kuyambitsa dongosolo la [ubongo] la dopamine kulikonse komwe kuli pafupi ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo.
In Ubongo Womwe Umasintha, katswiri wa zamaganizo Norman Doidge akufotokoza kuti,
Kuledzera kwa zolaula za pa intaneti sindiye fanizo. Kuledzera kumakhudza kusintha kwakanthawi, nthawi zina moyo wonse, kusintha kwamitsempha muubongo. … Kutuluka komweko kwa dopamine komwe kumatisangalatsa kumalimbikitsanso kulumikizana kwa ma neuronal komwe kumayambitsa zomwe zidatitsogolera kukwaniritsa cholinga chathu. (mas. 106-8)
Uthenga wabwino m'nkhaniyi umapereka umboni wochuluka wosonyeza kuti malipiro ozungulira amayendetsedwa kwambiri anali Zovuta za anyamatawa. Momwe ndimamvetsera mwachifundo, ndikudzimva wopanda thandizo, ena a iwo pamapeto pake adalemba momwe angabwezeretse ubongo wawo kuti ukhale wolimba. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, adachulukirachulukira. 
Zinthu zomwe poyamba zinkawasintha, zinayambitsanso mwatsopano popanda mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Iwo anataya kukoma kwawo kwa zinthu zakuthupi. Anadandaula kwambiri ndi kuvutika maganizo. Maganizo okhumudwa ndi kukhumudwa kunasanduka nthunzi. Manyazi ndi chiyembekezo chinasintha. Iwo anayamba kukonda. S wawochikhulupiliro cha elf chinasintha. Ndipotu, anayamba kucheza ndi anthu ambiri-ngakhale atasiya kuchita zinthu zolaula ngati achinyamata amanyazi.
Njira yawo inali yophweka, ndipo ena akuvutikabe. (Werengani za zomwe anakumana nazo Njira Yopitirira.) Omwe apulumuka ankawoneka kuti akusowa kusokonezeka kwa masiku makumi asanu ndi limodzi pa chiwonetsero cha chiwerewere ndi kugwirizanitsa zogonana pofuna kubwezeretsa mphotho zawo. Thandizo la anthu linathandizira kwambiri, chifukwa ubongo umapeza kukhala kotonthoza komanso wopindulitsa. Wina (yemwe tsopano ali wokondedwa):
Kuchoka, monga kumapezeka, kunali kovuta kuposa cocaine, opiates, mowa, kapena chikonga. Ndidakhala sabata yolimba ndikulira usiku uliwonse ndikaphunzitsa kuyunivesite. Sindinathe kugona, ndipo ndinali ndi chilakolako chofuna kudya. Lingaliro loti ndidzakhale pachibwenzi lidandipangitsa kufuna kupotokola mpira.
Koma pano ndiri. Ndikumva kwaulere.
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