'Overindulgence: How Watching Porn Is Actively Ruining Your Sex Life' (Daily Elite)

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Don Jon watching pornPornography has long been a staple of young men’s lives, and it has evolved over time. It has gone from hidden issues of Playboy under beds to an easily accessible, multifaceted industry on the Internet.

I’m sure half of the male readers right now have another tab open with porn, and that’s the problem.

We are, unintentionally, the generation of overindulgence. Why? Because almost every one of our problems have been solved by previous generations. It’s no longer about how, but how much.

Porn is the same way.

In the past, it was pretty impossible to get your hairy mitts on a pair of tits. Now, you’re an effortless click away from whatever your dirty mind desires.

Here’s the thing: Men are, by nature, disgusting perverts.

We can’t help it. That’s just who we are.

We need that release, and we will go to great lengths in search of it. Ideally, ladies are helping us with the process, but men are always looking for a way to do something quicker. And porn has drastically expedited that process.

Men can take matters into their own hands. Pornography and masturbation are the perfect pair. They are the “Turner & Hooch” of filth; you can’t have one without the other.

Men, and women too, can now play with their giblets at any time. It’s easy and fun, and it’s hard not to do it whenever you are just trying to kill time.

But there is a trade-off many, including myself, are discovering the hard way: There are serious side effects to continuous porn consumption.

Generation-Y is the vanguard of cybersex, and no one is talking about the damage because we are the first generation in human history to have this problem. Some of these changes have been seen in women, but the problem is much more prevalent with men.

It rewires your brain.

According to a study by Cambridge University, researchers have found “compulsive porn users react to porn cues in the same way that drug addicts react to drug cues.”

How it works is the brain has something called the reward circuit, which developed during simpler hunter-gatherer times to produce dopamine for naturally rewarding things like food, sex and connection.

However, there are extreme versions of these rewards, like high-calorie foods or a bombardment of boobs, that provide too much dopamine and can override our natural satiation mechanisms.

The reaction that triggers in your brain from porn is extremely similar to the reaction from drug abuse.

What happens is, your brain has a molecular switch that creates a binge cycle, promoting a craving to continue receiving that reward.

This extreme binge cycle of dopamine received through porn produces the same side effects drug addicts have: a numbed pleasure response, hyper-reactivity and the erosion of will power, as your frontal cortex changes.

Crazy, huh?


It misrepresents both genders.

Guys, not every woman has huge knockers. Women, not every guy is a packing a foot-long.

Guys, not every woman likes her lady parts getting jack-hammered away at. Women, not all guys are pizza delivery boys!

But seriously, there are several misconceptions that porn conveys to its viewers.

Here is what you must remember about porn: It’s not real. Porn’s main purpose is to entertain, not to show what making love is all about.

It is just shock entertainment designed to capture the horny consumer’s attention. The producers could care less about how accurate it is to real baby-making; they just want you to watch their video. It’s click-bait to masturbate.

The false notions created through pornography have a much more significant effect on women than men. Pornography presents women as plastic pieces of meat whose sole purpose is to get objectified and screwed.

For the longest time, I was convinced the only way women had sex was with ball-gags in their mouths.

I’m joking, but there are numerous violent themes women experience in pornography that are misconstrued as desires in reality.

These themes presented in porn change the attitude each gender has for one another. The attitude of men in particular tends to be more violent and hostile toward women after watching porn.

The best way to know what your partner wants sexually is to be open with her and talk about it.

Don’t just tie her up like a luau pig. Ask her if she likes apples first! Okay, I swear that’s the last joke.


You build a tolerance.

Like anything that elicits pleasure, porn can be addictive. And like anything addictive, you can build up a tolerance for it.

Heavy porn consumption is an arousal addiction, in which you need more or different ways to keep receiving the same high from a dopamine release.

In his TED talk, physiology teacher, Gay Wilson, explains that once you’ve seen the same cookie-cutter positions, your brain wants something different, merely for novelty, shock or surprise.

It starts out with a man and a woman, and next thing you know, there are eights dudes wearing masks, one woman and, for some reason, a pelican. Don’t ask.

It is known as the Coolidge effect, and dopamine levels surge for each novel image the viewer sees. Every new babe on the screen provides a new blast of dopamine.

This is how high-speed Internet porn varies from porn of the past: You can receive a new dopamine blast with a mouse click, constantly providing yourself with more and more pleasure.

And just like with all addictions, you may be in over your head before you know it.

Porn allows you to explore all of your curiosities, including ones you never imagined being interested in. Again, porn is not real sex; it is shock entertainment.

These novel or shocking porn videos don’t reflect the nature of real sex. The problem with porn addiction is there is no one to see the damage, no one to say whether what you are doing is right or wrong.

This is because people don’t really know what you’re going through unless they snoop your browser history.

One wipe of your search history covers your tracks, and your dirty little secret is safe.


It dilutes your real sex life.

In his TED talk, Wilson describes the differences between real sex and porn. Masturbation and porn focuses on isolation, “voyeurism, clicking, searching, multiple tabs fast-forwarding” and “constant novelty.”

Real sex focuses on “courtship, touching, being touched, smells, pheromones, emotional connection and interaction with a real person.”

Over time, your brain adapts to porn because, if you’re like me, it becomes exposed to it much more often than real sex.

Excessive abuse can not only change your brain, but it can change your dick. No joke.

That same Cambridge University study found “over 50 percent of subjects (average age: 25) had difficulty achieving erections with real partners, yet could achieve erections with porn.”

Erectile dysfunction is no longer your grandfather’s problem; it’s yours. Trust me on this one, I have had a couple of awkward nights where I had to give a bullsh*t excuse as to why I couldn’t keep on keepin’ on.

It’s not you, it’s me!

Through my own habits, I have been able to realize how even seemingly routine activities can have an impact on your sex life.

As I mentioned, porn is easier to access than ever before. Our generation also has access to unlimited photos and entertainment through social media.

When you think about how often a guy’s mind is bombarded with images of beautiful women every day, those beautiful women start to lose their novelty.

It goes from, “Good God, I would give up my first born son for a night with her,” to, “Yeah, she is alright. Here check out this model I follow on Instagram.”

When I combined the time I’ve spent looking at models on Instagram or Snapchat with my daily porn consumption, I was spending over an hour every day consuming images to please the head down south.

No wonder why I’ve had problems in the sack.


How can you fix it?

The craziest thing about all of this is when researchers initially tried to conduct studies on porn use, they couldn’t find any 18- to 25-year-old men who didn’t use porn.

I can attest to this. I have been an avid porn connoisseur for a decade now, and I can guarantee most guys my age have a similar track record.

The only thing that has been proven to reverse the damage is to go cold turkey.

There hasn’t been enough evidence conducted through real scientific studies to back this data yet, but groups like Wilson’s website and Reddit’s No Fap are grassroots examples that provide testimonials of first-hand success.

Most of the folks have seen results after one to two months, including increased sensitivity in their sex organs and a reversal of their erectile dysfunction.

Another promising result from quitting porn is a decrease in anxiety. As I mentioned above, porn is an arousal addiction, and arousal addiction symptoms are easily mistaken as ADHD, social anxiety, depression, performance anxiety and OCD. That explains why every boy in school has ADHD.

Here is a different way to think about it: When you watch porn, it is you, sitting in a chair, sweaty and naked, typically trying to fornicate with yourself to a glowing screen of images.

That is a very lowly state for the human to have evolved to, and you are so much better than that.

Use your imagination, or get out of the house and find someone who will do whatever your sexuality desires with you.

An old fashioned may be old fashioned, but it’s better than screwing yourself.