Just a quick story for all who may need inspiration or proof of changes! Went to a party last night, walked in with a goofy friendly look on my face and instantly started hugging girls, bro handshakes with guys, starting conversations, laughing, having a great time. After about 10ish minutes of conversing, I went to sit down on the couch just to relax. I think to myself ” man I feel good, the alcohol must’ve hit” then i realize I AM DEAD SOBER. I couldn’t drink because i was on medication (the flu like symptoms got the best of me haha).
Don’t get me wrong, I have always been social and friendly, but i used to let my FOMO get the best of me. Also I used to be really in my head when it came to hugging girls (deciding whether i should give a hug, if the hug was good, all that bs). I’m 21 and in college, up until last night, I HATED not drinking at parties. I disliked it so much it put me in an awkward/pissy mood at HS parties back in the day. Also when I was 18/19, i used to feel more awkward and not really have much to say or do at parties. I would get upset or bored very fast.
But now, I’ve started realizing having fun, being goofy, and forcing yourself to smile will help you get in fun and exciting mood you need to enjoy yourself at parties. Last night also made me realize an important thing, IT REALLY IS ALL A MINDSET. How you feel in the moment is how you will act and behave.
For example, leading up to me entering the party, I felt relaxed, and kept putting a smile on my face to get my body to react accordingly. Your brain will believe anything you tell it, so even if you feel anxious or neutral, if you put a smile on, your brain and body will match the smile and you will feel happier. I entered the party relaxed, yet excited to see everyone.
My advice to anyone out there who overthinks about a lot of stuff, especially social situations:
1. YOU are not as awkward as YOU think YOU are
2. YOU are not as “unattractive” or “unappealing” as YOU may think
3. Remember, positive thoughts=positive outcomes
4. Being mean to yourself first, won’t make it hurt any less if someone else is mean to you