The reason I started this journey was because I considered myself a slave/addict of Porn and masturbation. It was not an unhealthy or extreme habit in my personal opinion, I would probably do about 2 to 4 Porn and masturbation cycles over a week. The real problem was that I would be really self-conscious of how much time, energy and happiness this habit was draining from me,
and every cycle would greatly affect my mood, would make me feel an extreme sense of guilt and therefore would affect my relationships with others and my overall perspective on day to day life. Every time I would feel these negative feelings I would promise myself never to do it again, only to find myself relapsing at most a week later. To sum up, I would have no control over PMO whatsoever, I could not voluntarily stop it, and that alone made me feel awful.
Nofap and setting personal goals for myself that required of me a lot of time and effort were what started me on my PMO-free journey. One of the most important lessons I learned is that it is NOT AN EASY JOURNEY. That doesn’t mean it is impossible. The first time I tried I went PMO free for 27 days before I relapsed. I felt absolutely terrible, but DID NOT GIVE UP and started again.
I would say the toughest days for me where from day 1 to day 45. During these days I would cycle from extremely calm and collected to completely horny and desiring PMO greatly… I would say about 7 days of calmness followed by 3 days of the opposite. Although I never felt super powerful or amazing as some of the videos out there claim, I would notice how calm and how uninterested I would be about PMO during these days and that alone made me feel really good. In moments were I would without a doubt be watching porn or masturbating I would find myself doing much more productive things.
After those 45 to 50 days, an amazing thing happened, which is more than anything the greatest benefit I have found from my Nofap journey. At some point, there was a turning point in which I can now consciously feel that I have control over PMO, and not the other way around. Whereas before I would relapse to PMO for any stupid reason (boredom, anger, porn inducing images) I now realize that PMO would be a conscious decision for me to make, not an instinct that I can’t get rid of.
This truly feels amazing and has made this journey worth it. Before day 50 I was always afraid of when or what would cause me to relapse. Now I am more than sure that I will get to day 90 because I have almost complete control over myself. Not to say that I don’t get aroused from time to time or feel really horny, but what used to be an instinct that I could not control has now become a decision that I can control. Sexual fantasies and porn-inducing images, which used to be commonplace on my day to day life and would come into my head without me wanting to have now literally become something that I have to focus on or make an effort to think of for them to get in my mind. This, after countless years of not being able to control myself, makes me feel absolutely amazing.
Not to say I will never fall for PMO again, but now feeling and understanding how much more awesome it is to have control over this decision, and living a guilt free life and spending my time and energy in things that are productive and in improving my personal relationships, make my CONSCIOUS decision of whether to PMO a really easy one. Making the decision to gain this control over myself is easily one of the best decisions I have made in my life, and I will try to keep living a PMO life for as long as I can, and not only 90 days as my original goal was.
I am more than happy to share that today I have hit 70 days of my PMO-free journey, and thought I would quickly share some of my findings with anyone who would like to learn more or get some inspiration to start their own journey.
Best of luck to anyone starting this journey, do not give up, it is well worth it!!!