I made it, I knew I was going to make it. After my last relapse I swore to myself that I would not fail, and here I am.
I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t really gotten as far as I wanted. There have been A LOT of hard times. Absolutely crazy strong urges, terrible depressions, feelings of anxiety attacks, feeling super low, being sooo close to giving up, etc. This was not how I wanted to feel when I hit 90 days, but I have also experienced some great moments.
I’m gonna quote the benefits I wrote on my 30 day post, because they are pretty much what I got out of NoFap.
“I started meditating, cooking, learning Spanish through Duolingo, little to no time on the computer, reading more books etc. But most important of all, I’ve always had this “urge” to use the computer. Like when I’m at my dads house on the weekends I was never able to spend time with him. I always had this “urge” that made me feel like I was wasting my time, time that I could use to complete some video-games, watch netflix or of course, PMO. It was terrible, it was like that for years. All day, in my gaming cave in the corner of a dark room. I never realized how unsociable I was with my own family. I don’t know why, but as many people say, NoFap makes you so much more productive and motivated. The last weekends at my dads, we have been cooking together, I’ve been sitting with him just talking all day, we go on walks etc. Same with my mom. As I’m writing this I’m in the living room on my laptop, taking a break after watching three episodes of Prison Break with my mom! I would never have bothered to spend three hours of my day with my mom before NoFap. “
I suffer from social anxiety. It has helped me a lot actually now that I think about it, but I’m still shy and very anxious in and before social situations. I’ve just started not giving a shit anymore really. This quote that I don’t really remember, stuck out to me while I was on NoFap: “We spend money on clothes, act different, change our appearance etc. to make people we don’t know or care about, like us.”
Kong from SimplePickup also gave some great advice. He said to always be yourself, because why would you try to impress someone that doesn’t like you for who you really are? You can put on an act and make everyone LIKE you, but isn’t it better to just be yourself 100% and make a few people LOVE you?
The first 20 days of NoFap were FANTASTIC, after that I went into a maybe, 50 day flatline where I just felt empty and lost, like I was in a dark hole, it was really bad. After around day 70, I just became lonely, and I still am. I’m not super depressed anymore, but the loneliness is killing me. I never really felt lonely before because I had PMO, but these 90 days have been all about facing your emotions. I live in a small town, and getting a girlfriend seems just as unlikely now as when I started. But except for the loneliness, I’m doing alright.
I don’t have a crazy success story like many of the others. I didn’t lose my virginity, I didn’t get a girlfriend, I didn’t get a lot of new friends, I didn’t become a ladies man or anything. I’m just a little bit more sure of myself, don’t care too much if people like me or not, not too nervous before social events, have a lot more time on my hands (literally), spend more time with family etc.
Today I did my 92nd cold shower, and I’m almost more proud of that to be honest. I really recommend combining NoFap with cold showers. Long story short, these 90 days have been absolute hell, but it was some great moments, and it was totally worth it. I just hope I get more out of it in the upcoming months. I’m not gonna relapse because I passed 90. Good luck to all my fellow fapstronauts, and just message me if you wanna ask or need someone to talk to! You fapstronauts have been of GREAT help, and I couldnt’ve made it at all without you. Good luck to all of you in the future, this is a journey I will never forget. Peace, peace!
LINK – 90 days… I made it?