A short list of the key things I discovered on this journey
Well gang I am gonna go out on a limb and pronouce myself recovered. I feel so thankful to have found this site and the great group of folks who hang here. My life has been transformed by the information disseminated here.
Though porn definately excelerated my sexual decline I have come to believe that in my case due to beginning to masturbate at a very young age and then for many years with great frequency my main issue was endocrine exhaustion and a run away out of balance mind. This coupled with excessive drinking to "self medicate" eventualy came to a head in the form of ED.
I am now happy to report that not only can I get the biggest hardest erections of my life but that I have a new found amazing (to me and my wife) ability to last for as long as needed. Ive lost 60 lbs and am in some of the best shape Ive ever been in.
Here is a short list of the key things I discovered on this journey toward health....
1. Listen to the advice given here. I could have been healed sooner if I had just done a proper reboot from the start instead of half assing it.
2. Try to pretend you dont have a penis. Touching leads to playing and playing leads to O.
3. Forgive yourself your slip ups. it does you no good to punish yourself for moments of weakness. This is a process which takes time and is not linear in nature. Forgive yourself, move on and stay the coarse.
4. Pay attention to your own behavior. Notice the situations and or substances that are likely to cause you to relapse and eliminate them from your life. Be prepared to change diet and lifestyle as well as activity level if that is what it takes. Whining and self pity accomplishes nothing. You have the power to change yourself you just need to set yourself up for success instead of doing the same things and expecting different results.
5. If I had to give 1 key component for good sex (or just a good erection) it would be relaxation. A noisy mind makes for a limp penis (or premature ejaculation). Work on breathing and focusing completely on your partner and the pleasant body sensations you are feeling. TAKE YOUR TIME!
6. This one has to do with supplements. In my desire to speed up the process of recovery I have done considerable study on and self experimentation with various supplements. My experience is that ALL of the "male enhancement" products such as horney goat weed, tribulus maca, yohimbe etc.are absolutely useless if your mind and body are over stimulated and exhausted. Whether or not they are of any benefit to a normal healthy individual looking for added performance I will leave to others to debate.
My experience with brain enhancers such as citicholine (purported to increase dopamine receptor density) and other such products was the same. Taking the amino precursors to various neurotransmitters such as l-tyrosine or l-phenylalanine to boost dopamine or 5-htp to boost serotonin etc. all netted variations of the same result which was to make me bitchy, agitated or depressed. They gave me 0 positive results.
I now believe that boosting transmitter levels in an already overstimulated and out of balance mind is like throwing more fuel on a fire. For me it often resulted in me self soothing with masturbation.
The one GLOWING exception to the supplements are worthless theme are GABA and Arginine. I started taking Arginine (which is the precursor to nitric oxide a vasodilator) 1000mg 3 times daily (morning, noon, and before bed on an empty stomach) and GABA 1000mg 3 times daily and noticed a wonderful difference within days. GABA acts as a inhibitor in the brain and for me at least seemed to bring about balance in my brain. Many believe oral GABA cannot cross the blood brain barrier while others believe it can at dosages of 3000mg or more daily and still others believe it finds a back door to the brain through the pituitary gland.
I don't pretend to know how it works but for me it made me calm and centered, I sleep better and I started having spontaneous semi erections during my day for the first time since I was a teen. I have been trying various supplements for years and always take them with an open mind but without expectation. I consider myself as immune to placebo effect as any human can be. For me GABA and Arginine together is powerful medicine. That being said they are no substitute for a reboot! I do however think that for some of you LONG rebooters out there they are worth a shot, especially if like me you have struggled for years with multiple addictions or you are plagued by negative self talk.
Thanks again to everyone here who has given me the support I really needed at times. To those of you still fighting the good fight I say "Hang in there"! If this 42 year old can overcome multiple addictions, a sexless marriage and being over weight and out of shape all in the year or so since I found this site YOU CAN OVERCOME YOUR ISSUES AS WELL!