Tausaga 25 - 1 tausaga o taofi & amata: o loʻo maua pea le tele o penefiti

O le mea malie e ui lava ou te leʻi faia se masina saʻo poʻo ni 90 aso poʻo le tausaga e aunoa ma le amio tuai, o penefiti na ou lagonaina atonu o se suiga sili ona suia na ou faia i loʻu olaga.

  • taulaʻi - pe a ma le 2 aso pe a maeʻa faʻafitauli taʻitasi, e atili ai ona manino laʻu taulaʻiga ma e matua faigofie lava le le feoaʻi solo i se miti. I talanoaga e mafai ona ou taulaʻi atu i mea o loʻo fai mai ai tagata ma o lea ua mafai nei ona ou faitauina nisi mea nai loʻo se fuaiupu e aunoa ma le faʻalavelave. E fesoasoani lenei mea i laʻu galuega, suʻesuʻega, fegalegaleaiga, fegalegaleai ma soo se mea ma se mafuaʻaga.
  • Talitonuga - o le mea moni lava lea o le taua sili ona taua mo aʻu ona o aʻu fegalegaleaiga ma fafine sa matitiva. Ua mafai nei ona ou faia talanoaga malie ma tamaʻitaʻi i le auala. Sei o tatou tuu lenei i se vaaiga. Ia Novema 2011, e umi lava se taimi o ou fesili i se teine ​​aulelei mo ni faatonuga i le "mall" o se auala e le malamalama ai i loʻu alu atu i fafine. Lenei, o se talie fesoʻotaʻiga e le suia ai loʻu fatu pa'ū tasi. E oʻo foʻi i le 10 aso i le taumafaiga muamua sa amata aʻu talanoaga ma fafine (aua le pikiina i luga, ae naʻo le faʻafiafia). Ou te manatua lelei loʻu mitamita ia te aʻu lava. Tasi lea o suiga e pele ia te aʻu.
  • Physical stamina and strength – like my first example showed, this will not only give you more energy (which, as I will explain, must be spent elsewhere) but what you’re capable of will grow.
  • Mental stamina and willpower – another special benefit that I’m grateful for. Remember how I never used to exercise and if I did, the workout would be laughable for poor effort and then I’d quit? Now I exercise 3 times a week and when I exercise I have that mental strength to push past the pain barrier. So even if my greater physical strength stumbles, my mind keeps me going. I work better at my job, I actually study (hypnotherapy), I can contain myself in heated discussions, I eat 1000 times better than I used to and so much more. I’ve actually kicked meat and dairy to the curb.
  • Le maualalo - e leai se tagata e fiafia e lagona le faatauvaa i isi tama ma sa ou matauina lenei faamanuiaga sili atu e ala i oʻu lagona o le maualalo o le toe foi mai pe a uma ona toe toilalo. E le manaʻomia tele faʻamatalaga ma e faigata foi ona faʻamatala. A maeʻa, ou te lagona le sili atu ona le tagolima, lagona, maaleale ma isi mea ma a maeʻa le vaiaso o le faʻasalaga e amata ona e lagona le tua ... e pei o se tamaloa. O le faaupuga e ono aʻafia ma e le mafaitaulia aʻafiaga ae e te vaʻai i se suiga o auala otometi e iloa ai e le mafaufau mea. Mo se faʻataʻitaʻiga, pe ae nofo i le isi itu o se teineitiiti lelei i luga o le nofoaafi ma se peʻa o le tamaitusi o le a sau i luga o le nofoa i talaane o oe. O lagona maualalo e matua itiiti lava ma o le a ou lagona le itiiti ifo o le fefe.
  • Acne – after about a week or so, the acne gradually clears up and my skin starts to smooth out. Then I relapse and it comes back again 🙂
  • Feeling differently about women – this may be because I’m not pleasuring myself to female degradation anymore but at around the 1 week mark, if I risk relapse by fantasizing, it’s more about romantic situations and not the nasty stuff anymore. I want to feel a human soul connection more and want to slam a girls head into my crotch less….and as I’m not a psychopath, that’s a great change. As this benefit has always started just as I relapse, I’ve never fully experienced it but hopefully this reversal back to my normal loving self will grow back stronger as I push on.
  • jaw tightness and knee pain – this I’m sure is just me but my jaw tightness goes after a few days of abstinence and the day after relapse my right knee joint feels weak and painful. Not sure how this is linked though.
  • Faʻateleina le manaʻo e faifaimea faʻatasi - masalo ona ou te le o mauaina laʻu okesene mai le osooso i le porn, ua amata ona ou manaʻo e fegalegaleai ma mate poʻo le a ... pe a e manaʻo e talanoa i tagata, latou te fiafia lava iai (yeh, go figure). O le aofai o taimi ou te maua ai se telefoni poʻo le txt e mafai ona faʻamaonia ma laʻu fapa peʻa ou puʻeina. Soo se taimi lava na ou inu ai, ou te le popole lava i se tasi i le lalolagi mo ni nai aso. O le mea malie o le taimi o le PMO ma ina ua teʻa, na ou lagona le matua tuua toʻatasi ae i le taimi e tasi ou te leʻi manaʻo e iloa pe popole i se tasi. O le a ou nofo i le galuega po o aiga i le afiafi ma na o le vaai atu i tagata e matua le aoga ae fetagisi i loʻu potu mo le lagona matua tuua toatasi. I le taimi o le faʻamama e tupu le faʻafitauli; e ui lava ou te manaʻo e fesoʻotaʻi atili, ou te le lagona le tuulafoaʻia. E matua uigaese lenei mea, matua matagofie ma matua iloga lava mai totonu i fafo.

Daydreaming – I don’t know how or why but during PMO years and after a relapse I found it very tough to get out of my own head. At that point my work suffers along with everything else; I’m just daydreaming. I’ve always been a big daydreamer yet I notice that after a week or two of abstinence, my desire to daydream is far reduced. I read an article about the difference between daydreams. We all have those 12 second daydreams that our minds wander into, but when people actively engage in their daydreams and having continual plots that they’ll pick up from where they left off, it indicates a real unhappiness with the world around them. I relate to this. When I have been 1-2 weeks free, even though I habitually begin to daydream, the want for it just isn’t there.

  • Getting with women – I’ve had more sex in the year of up and down no fapping than at any other time in my life….FACT! with that combination of increased desire, more confidence, more risk taking, less anxiety, less inside my head, better attention in conversation etc., I was able to get myself a F.W.B and that’s amazing. She knows about my PMO and will read this coz I’m going to send her the link as well.
  • empathy – this is similar to the socializing and feelings about women bit but I just care more about others and feel sad when I see something sad and feel happy for people when something positive happens to them. It’s really humanizing and it was that emotional numbness that first got me worried about my habit.
  • Better orgasms…..that’s simple enough. If you don’t do it every day, when it does happen then it’s a genuine pleasure rather than just a fix. (TBC ….)

POST - 1 TAUSAGA O UPS MA DOWNS VAEGA 2

 by danielsonUK


 

1 Year of ups and downs

(the entire piece is 5000 words so it’s broken into different posts)

The day that I upload this story is exactly 1 year (and a day) since beginning my no fap commitment. It’s especially meaningful for me as I’ve started writing a personal story many times, including on day one and never uploaded it. Although it’s been 1 year, I’ve had countless relapses so I’m not on 365 days free from fapping but I am very experienced in knowing what it’s like to fall off the horse and even more experienced at climbing back on. Here’s my story, 1 year into the personal change, starting with the same pre-reboot beginning that I wrote 366 days ago:

Dec 21, 2011- “I started Masturbating before I was old enough to “produce”, started watching porn at about 13 (and mostly romance or pics) and I’m now 24 I’m wanking twice a day and I’m mostly only able to get turned on by porn types that I’d prefer to not even mention and my ex could not make me O (I told her I was just advanced). 6 years ago, if you met me you would say that I’m warm, lively, approachable, easy going, full of spirit, bountiful, outgoing and connected to others emotionally. I was a real people’s person and plenty of girls fancied me (although I was always too shy to approach). Life itself was pleasurable and a big genuine smile would often span my face (I was known for my smile). Now, my social anxiety, stress, emotional numbness, inferiority, loneliness and anger are almost overpowering. I can’t even maintain eye contact! I really was so taken back when realising my problem. I knew that porn had bad effects because I’m into psychology and studying to be a therapist (hypnotherapist) but I hadn’t realised that I hit 7/7 for addiction and how all of those issues I’m dealing with coincide with this. I was actually watching a documentary about psychopaths and it said that their range of emotion is smaller, so they don’t feel guilt and sadness as much as normal people and they don’t feel joy or affection as much as other people. . It’s called a blunted affect. I think this is true for what PMO has done to me to a smaller extent. I find that although I want to end this horrible cycle, it has been filling a void and comforting me but actually making the void bigger as well. I’ve tried to stop before but never lasting more than 2 days. My motivation now is so strong…. let’s see how things unfold”

Dec 20, 2012 – So here’s my story in retrospect. I’m 25, and looking back over this period of self-discovery, I’ve realised that as a teenager I vented my growing teenage sexual mind into a tissue instead of using it to get girls. As a result, I never gained the motivation or knowhow to approach girls which lead to more anxiety and more solitary venting. I have an addictive past (smoking, food and MJ), none of which I overcame without outside help. On the 6th morning, I woke up at 5am with more energy than I remember having ever. I ordered an escort in utter horniness and drove to the cash machine to take out money. I wouldn’t normally book an escort. It’s not something I would do but I was so horny. As I parked up back home, I did something that was so unlike me and was a real surprise; I cancelled the escort. Normally I just wouldn’t have that sort of self-control. to add to this weird shit that was happening to me, I then put on shorts, a jumper and running shoes and took my dog for a run. Let’s be clear about this so we appreciate the extent of change that happened to me in just 6 days and how far from my “normal” self this behaviour was. I NEEEEVER exercise!!! I’ve written more workout routines than the number of press-ups I’ve done. yet at 7am on the 27th December in England (fucking freezing cold and grey), I ran for miles…..and it felt amazing…like I could run over anything. That first attempt at no fap lasted for 16 days and in 1 days’ time, that record will be broken for the first time. Technically I edged during that attempt and I haven’t edged at all on this one. Over the course of the year I’ve fallen off the horse so many times, it’s hard to imagine how someone could keep getting back up and stick with it. Some may think that because I haven’t made it 90 days on the first try that my advice is less important but in fact I think that’s why my story is so needed. I know what the struggle is like and I know what learning curbs are. The guys who need to read these stories the most are the guys who, like me, know what it’s like to fall down.

So that was my introduction. From now on, with all this experience under my belt, I’m going to segment my piece into 1) Benefits, 2) Drawbacks/Withdrawal, 3) Rebooting advice and tips, and 4) General Summary.


1 TAUSAGA O UPS MA DOWNS VAEGA 3

vaega 3 2) Well, I really haven’t had withdrawals like other people. No colds, sweats or any of that stuff. Maybe that’s because I haven’t gone past a total 2 weeks. If my benefits seem to have accumulated over the year of ups and downs, wouldn’t also my withdrawals? I do sometimes get really low…like deathly low but I feel like I’m past that stage. I have experienced flat lining and it’s definitely an odd one. I didn’t find it horrifically scary like some other guys and once you’re used to it, take it as an advantage for not wanting to relapse. Other than that the only drawback is temporarily being denied of a momentary pleasure. In context that’s hardly a drawback.

3) I could summarize the strategy for effectively overcoming this addiction and many others into 2 broad categories; fences and pathways.

FENCES are things you do to make it more difficult for you to fap and make you less vulnerable to the temptation.

PATHWAYS guide you in the right direction, making your journey easier and life better, filling the void with better behaviours.

In order to effectively know and enact those strategies, it’s important to get to “know thyself”. Some guys make it to their timed goal first try but many of us relapse. By having a calendar that you use to track abstinence and lapse, you’ll become a lot more conscious of what is behind your behaviour. My calendar is not just a tick or cross. I rank the previous day on a scale of 1-5 (5=perfect abstinence, 1=complete PMO) and then I write about 5-10 words accompanying. This could be “meditated, exercised and avoided you tube” on a good day or “perved at that magazine and lingered in bed” on a bad day. After a while you will get to know those vulnerable situations that make relapse more likely. Here are some that I’ve become aware of from my journey (and their corresponding FENCES): • Randomly and un-purposely surfing the web, especially YouTube and Facebook where I stumble across a picture or vid that includes attractive girls (like the friend of a friends profile that I click on just coz her photo’s cute). Minimize time surfing the web, and only use it for what you went on for in the first place. There will be a gap forming that this used to fill. What are you going to fill it with?

• Hands down pants. Even if I’m not fantasizing, pure physical touch can stimulate. This effect can linger below the surface (no pun intended) throughout the day.

• Fantasizing, even if it’s just romantic or of me flirting with a girl. This will get easier with time.

• Daydreaming that’s unrelated to sex at all. This kind of puts my mind into that imagination mode which makes fantasy more likely

• Lying in bed awake at night or in the morning. These two were MAJOR risk factors for me as I worked out from my calendar that around 80% of relapses were when I was already in bed.

• Eating crap – this is more to do with avoiding the bad foods that will lead to a sugar crash then it is about optimum nutrition. If you have MacDonald’s and then feel crappy later, you’re more likely to seek out a sure fire way to feel better again, right?

• Having nothing to do on the weekend or after work. Too much time on your hands, especially in the location where you most typically PMO (like home) is a massive problem. General but massively important and critical FENCE regarding these last two points; minimize the exposure you have to the times and places where you most commonly PMO. For me, lingering in bed am or pm and having nothing to do on evenings and weekends at home are risky so I only get into bed at the very last minute (lights have even been off for ten minutes as light keeps us awake and dark tires us quicker). I make sure that on the weekend, even if I can’t fill my day, the mornings are the key element. If I do nothing in the morning, the whole day ends up being a bum/slob day. GET OUT!

• Perving at girls around me. It’s neither helpful, nor is it going to get you laid. If you look, approach.

• Magazines and newspapers. Since moving out, I haven’t been walking past my mom’s stack of women’s magazines with hot celebs inside. Phew! Avoid these magazines if you can and certainly don’t read them.

• TV and Film. Pretty easy to spot because almost every film now has a hot girl in it. Especially in the more difficult first weeks, just avoid watching movies or too much TV. My PATHWAYS section will help you with alternatives.

• Adverts. I hate, I hate, and I HATE adverts. They’re like leeches trying to suck the soul out of you to make a quick buck. Check out this funny vid about TV adverts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf7uWRLqfgw&list=UU6co8_uGCP_EUQKGZguG63Q&index=4 adverts are designed to take advantage of your deepest most animalistic desires (sex and status) to manipulate you for a corporation’s goal of taking yours or someone else’s money. And guess what….they’re very good at it. As a hypnotherapist I can identify the hypnotic nature of adverts. At the very least turn off the volume but at best, just change the channel or turn the TV off.

• General negative emotions. I also noticed that feeling frustrated about anything, from my noisy neighbours to my overbearing Jewish mother could act as a trigger or even pre-trigger. Going on housing websites and checking out all the mansions I can’t buy puts me in a mind-set of wanting which also can make pleasure seeking (food and sex)more likely. Seeing glorified “males” on TV get put on a pedestal by women makes me jealous and angry. What is it for you? Stress? Boredom? Tiredness? Guilt? Loneliness? And what things trigger those general feelings?

• No Laptop, Tablet or phone while in bed. If I stumble across a sexy pic accidentally while in bed, that’s far more risky than if I see it in a coffee shop. Also, the activation energy needed to start something can be surprisingly preventative. I try to keep them out of my room entirely

• Only use bed for sleep and sex. If much of the relapses happen “there”, minimize time “there”

• Expanding on the last point, minimize time in the places, situations and times where and when you relapse or just PMO the most. For me it was being in bed for longer than necessary and being at home with nothing to do, especially on the weekends. What are your times and places?


1 TAUSAGA O UPS MA DOWNS VAEGA 4

E le lava le na o le malosi. E mafai ona vaivai le malosi e pei o isi tagata uma. O le fa'aaogaina o FENCES ma PATHWAYS o lo'o i luga o le a fa'aitiitia ai lou mana'oga e fa'amalosi. O le tele oa tatou amioga e oo mai ma le le iloa. E na'o le fa'atupuina o ta'iala e fa'aoga ai lo tatou le iloa lelei.

A e aveese se fiafiaga tele, o le ai ai se avanoa e manaʻomia le faʻatumu. Afai e te le faatumuina le avanoa i fiafiaga aoga, o le a iu lava ina faatumuina lena gaogao ma o le a leai se mea lelei mo oe. O le a tapunia le gaogao pe a teena le fiafia mo sina taimi ae aisea e atili ai ona faigata ia oe lava? Ou te faʻaogaina le faaupuga "faʻapipiʻi fiafia" e faʻamatala ai le faʻaogaina o le tele o fiafiaga laiti e faʻatasi ai le faʻafaigofieina o le olaga aʻo ou taulimaina le le mauaina o lena fiafiaga tele mai le taimi muamua. E fa'aitiitia ai fo'i le avanoa e amata ai se isi vaisu i lena taimi. O la'u ala sili ona fa'atuatuaina:

  • Mafaufauga Loloto - E mafai ona ou tusia le sootaga manino i le va o laʻu faʻataʻitaʻiga mafaufau loloto (mafaufau mafaufau loloto) ma loʻu faʻasaʻo. O le mafaufau loloto e faia ai le tele o mea (fa'amaonia fa'asaienitisi). E faʻaleleia ai le gauai ma le pulea o le mafaufau. A oso mai se mafaufauga i lou ulu, o le a mafai ona e tuʻuina atu lena ata ma toe faʻafeiloaʻi lou mafaufau i se isi mea sili atu ona faigofie. E matua fa'aitiitia ai le atuatuvale ma isi lagona le lelei. Ae o le mea e sili ona taua, e te iloa atili ai po o le a tonu na lagona le lelei ina ia aua ne'i tatou ta'ita'iina. A uma ona mafaufau loloto, e matua filemu ma manino le mafaufau, e lagona le ofoofogia o mea.
  • Fa'amalositino – a e o'o loa i ni nai aso i totonu, e masani lava ona e maua se aofa'iga o le malosi e mana'omia ona fa'aoga i se isi itu. E pei o se maile e le alu e savali, tatou te valea e aunoa ma le faaaogaina o lo tatou malosi. O le faamalositino e sili atu ona faigofie pe a ou le PMO ma o se auala fesoasoani tele e maua ai le lagona lelei (pe a uma le taʻaloga), faʻamalolo le atuatuvale, faʻaleleia le moe (manatua le taua o le vave moe pe a moe) ma lagona masani. lelei.
  • Feso'ota'iga – O nisi taimi ou te lagona lava le le to'a e alu i vaega fa'alapotopotoga ae o le aso e soso'o ai e masani lava ona ou ala i luga ma le lagona lelei nai lo se isi lava taimi. O mana'oga fa'aagafesootai e mautinoa lava e feso'ota'i i lenei mea aua e fa'atatau i le neural-transmitter oxytocin o le vaila'au alofa/so'oga.
  • Aumai se uo fa'asusu - o mafua'aga e tutusa ma luga. Na ou feiloai i le teine ​​lea e sau ma e masani lava ona matou taoto faatasi e matamata i le TV ma e manaia tele aua o se auala matagofie e tatala ai ma lagona se sootaga. E matua mafanafana ai le loto. O lena mea itiiti e ofo ai o le malulu i tafatafa o se tasi e aunoa ma le tautala e mafai ona i ai ni aafiaga matagofie i aso e sosoo ai.
  • Fa'afetai tusi - o lo'o i luga o le upegatafa'ilagi a le YBOP i lalo o meafaigaluega fa'apitoa. O faʻamaoniga faʻapitoa e faʻaalia ai o lenei mea faigofie o le a faʻaleleia ai lou lagona lautele pe a e pipii i ai.
  • Le i ai o sini SMART. O sini fa'apitoa, fuaina, ausia, moni ma taimi talafeagai. O le faapea atu “Ou te le toe vaai lava i se teine” e le mafai ona ausia. O le tagata lava ia, ou te le fiafia i le 90 aso lu'i aua e tu'u ai le sini i se laina e fa'atupu ai mea… . Pe na o le taulaʻi atu i taimi pupuu i se taimi e pei o le faaiuga o le vaiaso ona sosoo ai lea ma le vaiaso pe na o le fai atu "E LE MO AʻU, FAAFETAI" ae ou te iloa o le i ai o se siata 90 aso i luga o laʻu puipui na foliga mai ai e faigata le sini ma faʻaitiitia ai loʻu lava talitonu. O le tagata lava ia, o le i ai o le poto masani i lenei mea, ou te ave mea i le tasi aso i le taimi nei ma taulai atu i mea e mafai ona fesoasoani pe faʻalavelave ia te aʻu i le taimi nei (aʻo ou iloa i tua o loʻu mafaufau o lenei suiga o amioga e mo le olaga).
  • Taimi e momoe ai - toe, afai o ou tulaga faʻaletonu e fesoʻotaʻi ma le moega, seti se masani e fesoasoani ia te oe e te moe vave ai pe a e moe ma avatu ia te oe le moe sili i le po ina ia e ala i luga, e te ' toe fa'afou ma faigofie ona alu ese mai le moega. O se moe lelei i le po e taua mo o tatou lagona ma le puleaina o popolega. E tasi le mea e taua ia te aʻu o le tapeina o moli pe a ma le 20 minute aʻo leʻi alu e moe ma taofi uma mea faʻaeletonika pei o le telefoni ma isi 10 minute muamua. O lenei mea e fa'afefe ai a'u. Ou te ala fa'afou i taimi uma pe a ou fa'aogaina se faiga masani mo le moe.
  • Self-hypnosis - afai o oe o se tasi o na tagata e talitonu o le hypnosis o se ituaiga o togafiti faʻataulāitu poʻo le pulea o le mafaufau, ou te fautua atu ia e suʻesuʻe atili. E mafai ona fesoasoani tele le hypnosis i le tele o sini. O le mea e leaga ai, o le tele o faʻalogo leo iTunes, faʻapitoa mo porn, e le ofoofogia mai se vaʻaiga hypnotherapists (ae latou te fesoasoani, aemaise lava pe a e faʻalogo soo). E le gata i lea, e mafai ona e faʻaogaina le faʻalogo leo mo isi mataupu e fesoʻotaʻi atu i le PMO e pei o le atuatuvale poʻo le moe poʻo le faʻamalositino faʻamalosi ma isi. A le gata i lea, e mafai ona e alu e vaʻai i se hypnotherapist i le tagata e ui o le a sili atu le tau. E malie tele i le avea ai ma se tamaititi aoga hypnotherapy i lena taimi, sa ou aloese mai le sailia o fesoasoani faʻapolofesa i soʻo se tau ma ina ua ou faia, na avea mea uma ma miliona taimi faigofie.

O le a le mea e fai pe a tulaʻi mai se manaʻoga? E pei o Gary mai le YBOP fai mai, e le mafai ona e paʻepaʻe i lenei mea ma faʻalagolago i le malosi naʻo oe. O le auala sili e foia ai lenei mea o le faʻalagolago i taʻiala e faʻaitiitia ai le manaʻomia mo le malosi. Ae peitaʻi, afai e te faʻafeiloaʻi i le taimi o le malosi, o nisi nei o mea e te ono aoga:

1) Aveese oe mai le siosiomaga. Tu'ua le potu po'o le fale ma o le ae iloa ai le suiga vave o lou setete. E tusa lava pe o iai pea le faaosoosoga, ua faaitiitia lou tomai e faatino ai. O le tele o lou aveesea, o le tele foi lea o le suiga o le tulaga o le mafaufau.

2) Alu mo se taavale. E fa'alavelave ma o le a fesoasoani fo'i le musika i totonu o le ta'avale

3) Alu e savalivali pe tamo'e. O lenei mea o le a faʻaalu ai le malosi faʻaopoopo, faʻamalolo endorphins, serotonin ma le dopamine ma o le a tuʻuina atu ia te oe le taimi e faʻamama ai lou ulu.

4) Matamata i tulaga malie malie. Ou te iloa e le fautuaina le TV ae o le tu-up comedy e masani lava na o ni tagata mataga, tatou te maua ai se lagona lelei e ala i le taʻufaatauvaaina o i latou lava ma tagata lauiloa tatou te fiafia e inoino i ai.

5) Ave 5-HTP. Lelei, ou te le o fai atu lenei mea i tagata uma. 5-HTP o le tele o faʻaopoopoga serotonin. Serotonin tatou te lagona le toʻa ma sili atu le fiafia ma i tui tetele e faʻaaogaina mo togafitiga o le atuatuvale ma le popole.

Ou te matua le fautuaina mea faaopoopo e avea o se meafaigaluega tele e foia ai lenei faafitauli ae e mafai ona manatu e pei o le soifua maloloina o le mafaufau o se laau savali. Afai e te lavea lou vae, a'o faigata tele mea, e mafai ona fesoasoani ia te oe e te tu i luga sa'o. A'o fa'asolosolo lelei mea, latou te lagolagoina oe a'o e faia le togafitiga moni (i le tulaga lea o le mafaufau loloto, fa'amalositino, fegalegaleai ma isi) ona e aveese atoa lea a'o fa'aauau le togafitiga. Afai e te fa'aaogaina i aso uma, o lo'o e fa'alagolago ma fa'afoma'i e fa'afeagai ma le tulaga o le sa'olotoga. Ae e mafai ona galue e pei o se tootoo i taimi faigata. E sa'o Gary mai le YBOP o lenei fa'afitauli e le o iinei ona o se fa'aopoopoga le atoatoa. Tau lava o le faaeteete i ai faamolemole.

6) Fa'amama le Gaioiga o Mata ma Toe Fa'asolo. O le a ou le faʻamatalaina auiliili ia Google pe afai e te leʻi iloa. E fa'aaogaina mo le fa'ama'i fa'ama'i pe a mae'a fa'ama'i ma e tele naua le fa'alogoina o isi mea (pei o lena mea porn pepelo na e talitonu i ai o se mea) e aveese mai le mafaufau.

7) Tatalo. Ou te le faapea e le o se tagata talitonu ae mo nisi o outou ou te mautinoa e mafai ona faamafanafanaina. Afai e te faʻafesoʻotaʻi lenei mataupu i se mana maualuga ma se faʻamoemoega, o le toe faʻafesoʻotaʻi o lou loto ma lou mafaufau i lena mana maualuga ma le faʻamoemoega o le a faʻamalosia ai au punaoa e agai i le ala saʻo.

O le a lo'u manatu i le faiaiga i le taimi e toe fa'afou ai? O le tagata lava ia ou te manatu afai e te le toe malosi mai le ED, alu i ai. O le mea tonu lava lena e mana'omia e lou tino; ia talisapaia le matagofie moni o lenei lalolagi. O la'u fa'atonuga e tasi o le faia o le feusua'iga e lelei tele mo le toe fa'afouina, o le manatuaina po'o le fa'atalitali i ai e ono avea ma fa'alavelave fa'ata'ita'iga.


 

1 YEAR OF UPS AND DOWNS PART 5 (SUMMARY)

4) SUMMARY – Relapse. This extract is from my first fail about a year ago. Reading it now I realise how naïve I was. This is typical for beginners…. “Jan/6 – FAIL!!! It started with thoughts about women, then I went on a dating site, then an adult dating site, then after being aroused I just went to check out some porn “but I won’t M of course”. Then I was edging myself. It was actually the first time I was edging myself during abstinence. Then, during the same clip where I consciously said to myself that I’ll just edge, a highly arousing bit of the clip happened and I just went for it. My brain shut down. The orgasm was immensely powerful but so empty and not worth doing. I feel so ashamed. Tired and ashamed. I came so far really was so certain that I wasn’t going to stumble. All those changes… the confidence, the assertiveness, the stamina, energy, emotional rebalancing and so many more positive changes that I’ve dreamed about for so long …….. F*CK !!!!! Start again ” Relapse is a hiccup, not a rewind. You’re not starting again from day one because this technically is not about the number of days but about the changes in your brain (and that doesn’t go back to square one with a single hiccup). Pick yourself up, identify the trigger, identify what you could have done differently, and keep moving to the life you deserve because it’s a great place to be.

Excessive masturbation to porn is NOT the problem. I repeat, it is NOT the problem. It’s no more the problem than someone’s overeating or shooting heroin. All of these unhelpful behaviours are our minds SOLUTION to another problem in our lives. The reason how this 14 day streak has been incredibly easy has been because I saw a hypnotherapist who opened my eyes to this truth and during hypnosis, I worked on my deep, inner problems like my lifelong fear or unwillingness to experience discomfort. Once I was able to appreciate at an unconscious level that I don’t need to feel comfortable all the time, discomfort is much easier to handle. You may be here to overcome PMO but really PMO is just a poor solution to your real problem. My advice is to understand what your real problem is and solve it better. The desire to PMO will subside more easily as you do that.

I’m flying to a luxury resort in Thailand for 2 weeks tomorrow so I know that abstinence will be a million times easier (no triggers and in paradise). I’m going to give a 30 day update when I return which should give greater insight for you guys. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HANNUKAH