Tausaga 25 - O laʻu penefiti sili ona lelei o loʻu alofa mo isi tagata

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These have been the most difficult and metamorphosing three months of my life, guys. There have been ups and downs, moments of extreme weakness, strength, self-loathing, radiating joy, crying myself to sleep, smiling myself awake, love, loss, sex, abstinence, missing out, indulging, moments of enlightenment and moments of facing reality.

I can tell you with absolute confidence that NoFap is the most rewarding challenge you will ever complete. Take it seriously. Give every other aspect of your life up if you have to. Do the 90 days, no matter what.

I won’t speak too much about the details of my story, but I’ll leave you with some key insights:

1.) Get a totem. I use a bead bracelet on my right hand that I never take off, even in the shower. This reminds me of the promise I made to myself when I experience moments of weakness. When I look at it, I remember the meaning I endowed it with when I started the challenge. It got me through many lonely nights where I thought relapse was inevitable.

2.) Don’t look at porn. Don’t even take a peak at pictures of girls in bikinis. Don’t look at girls on the street. Of course, you will want to, and you will, but quickly catch yourself and look away. You DO NOT NEED to feed your sexual impulses. You WILL be rewarded for your efforts. You WILL think it’s okay to take a peak. You WILL convince yourself that this is pointless, and sex is natural, and if you give in, you will fail.

3.) If you do have a sexual encounter, do not ejaculate. Personally, I had sex 3 times with 2 different girls during the 90 days, and I made holding it back my first priority. This meant stopping, disregarding the girl’s pleasure, disregarding my desires, pulling on my balls, and using alcohol to numb myself.

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5.) If you do not like the idea of using psychedelics, transcendental meditation works equally well. Even once a week for an hour works. Sit in a chair, or join a group (this is especially helpful), and breath in counts of 5: 5 seconds in, 5 seconds pause, 5 seconds out, 5 seconds pause. You will feel out of breath at first, but you will adapt and start to have an extreme spiritual experience, and the discipline will carry you through the days ahead.

6.) Cold showers. This has been said many times: they do work.

7.) Remember that when you are horny, all emotions come and go. You will not be horny forever. It will pass if you start doing something else to distract your mind. And when you resist the strongest impulses, you will likely be free of that desire for many days.

Those are some of my tips. As for the benefits, you will likely have heard them all before. But my most favourite one is the empathy. Being able to look another person in the eyes and love them for exactly who they are, no matter who they are, is something that just didn’t occur prior to being cleansed. Whether it is a man or a woman, people notice when you see them purely and without judgement, and they are attracted to that. People can feel your empathy. When you’re free of your own selfish desires, you’re free to give like you never knew you could.

I am 25 years old and I used porn since 13.

LINK - 90 Days Homies

By thomasdesilentio