Tausaga 36 - PIED: O laʻu tala manuia - o lenei e taufaafefe ae o le A sili atu ona lelei

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I’m happy to say that I’m really feeling now that I’m getting back to normal from a battle with PIED which has lasted for about two years. This has been an incredibly tough road. If you stick with it you will get better, I’m writing this to help anyone else out there who may be in the middle of what I was going through.

I could have got over this more quickly if I knew what I know now but I kept going back to porn occasionally which put me back to square one each time.

For me I had been looking at and masturbating to porn since about age 14, I’m now 36. I thought as it was only every other day then I’d be fine and really I was, I never had any problems getting an erection throughout this whole time. In my last relationship I would sneak off to the shower with my phone and our sex life was really bad, like sex once a month. When we broke up I thought I’d give up on porn just for the hell of it as I thought that looking at it wasn’t a good thing and I wanted to kick the habit and I ended up only looking at it occasionally, maybe only once a month.

After a few months I found I was getting the so called “dead dick” it felt like a shrivelled empty balloon and I didn’t have an erection much and eventually couldn’t get one up even with porn which I was still occasionally going back to (bad idea, I had to cut it out 100% to fix myself).

I didn’t realise I had a problem though until about 6 months of doing this when I had a woman back in my bedroom again, I just couldn’t get it up, the next day with her I freaked out about it and scared her off. When she left I felt like the world was coming crashing down around me, this sounds stupid but it must have been one of the worst moments in my life. After that moment I started to look for spiritual advice and was watching videos on YouTube on improving my erections, eventually I found your brain rebalanced and I watched other videos on nofap which were very helpful. I decided to cut out porn 100% and this is when I slowly slowly started to improve. I had another night with a different woman where I got hard when I was rubbing up against her underwear but as soon as she took them off to actually get down to it I went half hard and eventually had to stop. This was ok though because at least I knew what was causing it.

I then met my girlfriend, the first night she came back to mine I basically said let’s not have sex as it’s not going to happen, this was a pretty dumb move. Guys you can still give a woman a good time just kissing her and holding her and if you really want to give her some pleasure you can try to go down on her if she’ll let you (might not the first night though). There’s a good book called “She comes first” which I’ve read a lot and it really gives great ideas on giving a woman an amazing time down there.

We slowly had some really bad sex where at the start I couldn’t get it up much, I was improving slightly and sometimes could get hard by this time as I was fixing myself, realising finally that I must give up porn 100% which I did by that point. I remember some really low times when I couldn’t get it up. She suggested I go see a doctor about it which I refused to do for a while which was a bit stubborn. The doctor prescribed Viagra which I took, guys I’d recommend getting some if you can, just to use occasionally, it worked 100% and got me rock hard. It was great as it finally allowed us to have a wild night of sex which was amazing and I can still vividly remember. That was about 7 months ago and I’ve been slowly improving I’m not 100% fixed but I’m able to get an erection pretty well, it will go down after a while but then will come back. I think a lot of this is in mind and like we all know it really takes time for the brain to get rebalanced.

I also had trouble coming with her, delayed ejaculation due to a desensitized penis due to masturbation and porn, that’s now fixed and I can come pretty much every time if I want.

Both my standard doctor and a doctor at my local sexual health clinic had never heard of PIED, but I did pay to see a sexual therapist who said definitely looking at porn for my whole adult life every other day would give me erectile problems when I stopped looking at porn as my brain had to get used to being without it. I did take some of his advice and did kegel exercises which I think did help if even just for a placebo and took some other vitamins such as L-arginine which really I don’t think did much. I alson paid for other wonder herbal concoctions which were expensive and supposed to help but really I think they’re just gimmicks.

I don’t really need Viagra now but still use it every now and then to really get 100% hard for her as when things like she’s on top it still goes soft straight away, I’ve always had that issue. It used to be like as soon as my dick went near her it would just go soft or if I put on a condom it would just shrink which was heartbreaking. Really heart breaking but guys do stick with the non porn course. I’d say it’s been good for me to have a sexual partner through as I can see my improvements and it’s given me a lot motivation to improve my erections for her sake. 

I used to tell her truthfully that this erectile trouble was due to me giving up porn but she consistently though this was ridiculous so in the end I’ve just said this is something which happens to a lot of men at some point in their lives. I’m lucky that she has made me feel ok about everything apart from not believing about porn causing this. I’ve also spoke to my friends about giving up porn but most guys laugh it off, some think it’s a good idea and some take offence. Really though I try not to preach about it. 

Another thing guys is that by giving up porn I’m now much more romantic and am having the best sex of my life by far, we have sex pretty much every day we’re together (sometimes more) and every time it is amazing. She’s a very beautiful woman and she says I’m an expert lover and has never had sex as good she has with me, the best sex of her life, she always wants me, loves everything I do etc. This may be just pillow talk but hey I’ve never had a woman ever say anything like this to me before and man she drives me crazy.

So that’s about it guys I’ve been wanting to write this down to give anyone else going through this hopefully some help, I’m not 100% cured but am getting there. In summary here’s some advice from my experiences:

Just give up porn and don’t look at it again, it will be hard to give up the habit but it has improved my life so much. I had to lock away my iPad and the hardest was when I just arrived home on a weekend these habits of grabbing the ipad and masturbation straightaway when I got home were ingrained and so putting the ipad away and never using it helped.

Keep at it guys it’s really tough.

Even if you can’t get hard so what, just hold her tight, kiss her, you can still be rough and unleash some passion just like that, kissing her, licking her and you can go down on her too. A positive from this erectile rollercoaster is that I’ve got really good at going down on her and am giving her head almost every day which is blowing her mind and I think it’s hard for her to give that up. She was nervous and shy about it at first but now she’s crazy about it. Apparently from my book only about 10% of men enjoy giving this so if you do enjoy it and can pleasure her like that then it’ll really help her to think you’re a keeper surely!

Ok so I hope that helps guys if you’re in the middle of this IT WILL GET BETTER! I’m 36 almost 37 and have conquered this over 2 years, if I had given up porn fully immediately then I think I could have cured myself twice as fast.

Hope that helps guys

LINK - My success story – this is scary but it WILL get better

SAUNIA E - batman13534