I’ve struggled with this addiction for a long time. I realized about 4 years ago that I wanted to quit. I’ve had long streaks, short streaks, tried everything, been through extremely painful withdrawals, you name it. I recently met the woman of my dreams and am now in a relationship. I am also experiencing many miracles in my life that I didn’t think were possible when I was in the throes of my addiction. I want to point out that this relationship came after I started enjoying life again, after I found ways to stay sober, and after I started to love and value myself (as cliché as that might sound). I haven’t looked at hardcore porn in nearly 5 months (I use those terms because it feels like light versions of porn are all over the place and can be hard to avoid: billboards, parties, on the walls inside and outside of mainstream stores/shops… ugh!), haven’t PMO’d in about 7 months. I want to share with you some tools and things that have helped me. I think it’s important to state in case you are new to this, it takes some real time to experience a new life. Yes you will feel better everyday you don’t use, but there will be days you feel like shit too. Imagine turning a ship around, you can’t do it instantaneously, it takes some time. It can take anywhere from 10 days- 3 months to really see the miracles start to happen. It’s different for everyone, but I guess my point is, it’s going to require patience.
1. Find out what helps you get untriggered and start doing those things on a regular basis before the triggers even happen. For example if going to the gym is something that makes you feel better if you feel like shit, do that before you feel like shit!
2. Therapies/support groups
There are many kinds: psychological, hypnosis, 12 step, meditations, yoga, spiritual programs, energy healing, etc.
3. Meditation/Spiritual practice
4. Help others, be kind to others
For some reason whenever I do this, I feel like porn is further way. Porn is really about selfishness, pain, suffering, abuse, aggression, punishment etc. So by being kind and loving towards others, you are essentially practicing the opposite of porn.
5. Create a full life
Load up your life with as much as you can, so there is hardly any room or place for the porn. Stay busy, find new hobbies, find your passion, and try to avoid spending too much time alone.
6. Blockers
Blockers have really helped me. There were times in the recent months where I probably would have looked at something during moments of weakness or feeling short bursts of cravings. Because of the blockers I couldn’t access it. I don’t think blockers alone are the answer, but its good to have them just for those rare occasions where you find yourself about to fall down the rabbit hole.
7. Have a plan in place for the day. Have a plan in case you get super triggered and follow that plan if you feel out of control. (this is really important)
Do all this but make it your own. I think the trick is knowing yourself really well, so you know what will keep you away or stop you from engaging in toxic behaviors. What might work for me, might not work for you. But if you find out what helps YOU the most, do that consistently. You have to be real honest for yourself. This disease is about self deception and lies so being honest is a great anecdote to it. I think what has really helped is doing all these things before I get to a place of intense craving. Being one step ahead of the addiction is what has saved me. I’m happy to answer more questions if need be.
LINK - Taua Tele Tala
by lekasenor
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