Age 28 - A Girlfriend's Perspective: Thank You, NoFap!!!
My first Reddit post! I signed up to let you know how NoFap has helped - no, saved my relationship. It may not solve all your problems, but NoFap can really make a difference and change your life for the better!
Back story: Four years ago I met my current bf (he was 24 at the time). After 2 months of wooing, we finally "got down to brass tacks," so to speak. BUT, after hours in the sack, he just could not climax. I brushed it off as his not being used to condoms. So did he. Our egos remained intact, for now.
Around this time, I received a red flag. This guy dropped off a USB with some music for me to check out. Well, I also checked out another "hidden" folder that contained some redhead-porn clips and several pictures of me (I have red hair). Awkward… But somehow I manage to find this funny, I wasn't intimidated at all by his porn usage, not then anyway.
Months passed. After SO many attempts at sex, after I started bc and the condoms came off, my bf STILL COULD NOT CUM - only from oral, and sometimes from doggy style. Never, ever while looking me in the face. ...Needless to say, this really does start to hurt.
At some point in the next 2 yrs, some other red flags surfaced. During a drinking game, a friend said, "Never have I ever …masturbated more than 5 times in one day." My bf admitted to masturbating about 11 times in a day, "maybe more." Even his bros seemed to think that was, in a word, excessive. Also, I started finding porn on my own computer! So all this PMO was going on, meanwhile, I, the gf, could not make him climax.
Am I ugly? Does he love someone else? Before we met, I was so confident: a witty, pretty, young girl. This is to say I never had trouble getting the doods. But after years of my own bf having trouble keeping it up, I lost it. I started constantly checking my reflection. I got jealous of the porn stars - they could make him cum, why not me???
Eventually, I did it. I confronted him about the porn. ...He did not like this.
During these three years, both my bf and I fell into a serious depression. We stopped going to parties; I stopped making music; he stopped making art. I admit to suicidal thoughts. True, we both had other problems, but our sex life definitely did not help. We began to feel like failures - I felt I wasn't good enough, and he was so ashamed of his, well, impotence.
Around June last year, we broke up. For months, we didn't communicate. But during this break, he discovered NoFap! He heard your stories, they rocked his world, the wheels started turning! He took the NoFap challenge - and it is no coincidence what followed next!
Last Sept, we met up again. Started out casual, but we started connecting in a way that was stronger than ever! Since he started NoFap, not only has the sex been so incredibly amazing, but our entire lives are literally improving! We're communicating, the fact that he could even talk about his porn w/o getting defensive is huge! Plus, he got a promotion, we're social again, and we're just having fun! He's even started taking better care of himself - getting haircuts, eating healthy (FINALLY), and working out.
What's more, he can actually carry casual conversations with strangers, including women! This might sound weird coming from his gf, but this guy used to be terrified to talk to women. For a long time, he couldn't even look them in the face. Now? He's much more confident and pleasant, platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex are possible. I just can't believe how far he's come! (...lol, double entendre…)